"And then he stabbed me"

In this house we stan whoever is not straight🤷‍♀️ @ holyjily on ig !!PLEASE TAG ME IF REPOSTING TO INSTAGRAM!!

[accio-spideypool]

the marauders mental illnesses:

james: adhd & glasses

remus: werewolf

peter: actual rat

sirius: raging homosexuality

[accio-spideypool]

the marauders+lily as genshin quotes:

Sirius: "Aristocratic etiquette is all just for show... Just smile and nod along! I was forced to learn all of the rules by heart, but even I don't take them that seriously." -Eula

Remus: "I cannot be near crowds of people. Carefree, happy crowds of people... I simply cannot." -Xiao

James: "Lets go jumping in puddles and see who can make the biggest splash!" -Venti

Peter: "Eh, its not as bad as you've heard! Everyone falls into a trapper's pit or gets hit on the head by a falling tree now and then, right?" -Bennett

Lily: "Diluc, of Monstadt. Not interesting in idle chit-chat. If you have things you want to get done, let me know" -Diluc

Lily2: "You have my complete and full support. Of course, if your path ever devoates from justice, I will not hesitate to point it out" -Jean

[accio-spideypool]

ive realised that im nonbinary or something but its so annoying. she/they is amazingz love the vibes, awesome. but the problem is that we dont really have a good version of they in my language (which is swedish). we have "hen" but i dont like it, it doesnt work in the language and its so uncomfortable for me. but the she pronoun feels too uncomfortable. so basically i have no pronouns and i do not wish to be refered to in swedish✋✋😤😤 jk but seriously how to other enbys do when their language have no "they" pronoun. i dont feel like neopronouns fit me so idk plz help

[accio-spideypool]

Taylor swift: She wear short skirts I wear t-shirts

me, wearing both at the same time: ,👁👄👁

[accio-spideypool]

Can someone tell me whats up with guys and fetishising lesbians bUT having huuuge troubles with gays? I, a bisexual, told my boyfriend, a hetero, that two girl characters woube a really cute together (note that these two girls had no screen time together or anything like that) which he agreed with. But when i presented wolfstar to him, along with all facts that thy actually canon, he just looked at me like im some sort idiot. Just because they're gay doesnt un any way mean that they wanna fuck you dude, smh.

[little-witchys-cottage]

They be blessing

[lordofthegoldenflower]

@erusavetheelves​

[muja-bunny]

Published erotica: terribly written, costs money

Fanfiction on ao3: Free, isn’t affaid TO JUST USE THE WORD ‘COCK’ FFS

[muja-bunny]

“His genitals, his privates, his hot length, his trobing rod, his magic meat stick-”

Me, in tears: Just say cock

[jumpingjacktrash]

published erotica: the parts that aren’t purple prose about vanilla sex are occupied by dithering and made up problems

fanfiction on ao3: the parts that aren’t sharp, clear prose about scorching kinky sex are occupied by tightly plotted suspense and slam-bang action

published erotica: not interested in the 99% of the market that’s heterosexual? that’s fine, we also have tender white middle class lesbians and slutty white middle class gay men!

fanfiction on ao3: one trans partner? both partners trans? genderswaps? how about a loving long-term threesome that does heist capers? we’ve got non-gendered angels, hermaphroditic aliens – some of whom lay eggs, if you’re into that – oh, and have i mentioned the robots –

published erotica: there, i put in a vampire, i’m such a genre rebel

fanfiction on ao3: i sent the avengers to hogwarts with the winchester brothers, i fear nothing on earth or heaven and only one thing in hell which is that my laptop will overheat in the fires of abaddon so i’ll have to write the sequel longhand

[muja-bunny]

It’s finally happened, this post has popped up on my dash

[madame-serpentine]

This. This is why I have an extensive list of favorite fics saved and they’re like all links to ao3.

[beccaoftheglen]

The day I found fanfiction was a revelation. I read 50 shades of grey before I found fanfiction - and thought it was good! Thank you to all the writers who saved me from bad erotica!

[accio-spideypool]

sirius, drunk af:remus!

sirius: i lost a finger!

remus: no you didnt?

sirius: yes i did? see 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

sirius:

sirius now terrified: now there's too many if them!

[accio-spideypool]

Being all alone with my thoughts? Aahahaa,,,, no thanks

[accio-spideypool]

Hp characters as my different discord statuses::

Draco: murder (but in a good way)

Harry: playing with dEATh

Hermione: writing essays at 2am hit different

Ron: angst now, fluff later

Luna: !! Fish have right too !!

Pansy: a shot of vodka a day keeps your brain away

Blaise: all aboard the train to sadness town

Ginny: sleep is for the week (and me, but only in school)

Neville: playing with kittens (they're adorable)

[wizardnem]

sirius and remus talk about nothing and everything 

[accio-spideypool]

Holy shit this is stunning

[accio-spideypool]

The fact that fish are emotianlly equpied to feel sadness after a breakup but are to dumb to feel physical pain haunts me.

[accio-spideypool]

I sure do say "I'm so depressed" a lot for someone who very aggressively denies being depressed when someone asks me if i actually am depressed for reals but I don't want to be depressed and since I haven't been professionally diagnosed and you shouldn't self diagnose I have decided that I am NOT depressed🎉

[discofriend]

Harry Potter AU in which Fred and George are in different houses and they steal and wear each others ties whilst doing stupid things in hope of the others house losing points

[thatwriterchickyouknow]

Finally a Fred and George AU that doesn’t make me want to set myself on fire.

[lytefoot]

AU where Fred and George are in different houses and they get their hands on house ties from the other two houses as well. By the end of their first year nobody knows which house either of them is in and just take points off a random house whenever they see a redhead getting up to something.

The confusion runs so deep by the time Ron starts that Snape once takes points off Slytherin for Ron fighting with Malfoy.

[chippish]

There’s a few months in Fred and George’s second year when they successfully convince most of the school that they’re actually quadruplets, one in each house.

[roseverdict]

“George! Why are you wearing a Slytherin tie?”

“What? No, I’m Edward. Y'know, Slytherin’s resident Weasley?”

“Wh…huh???”

“Next you’ll be telling me you don’t know Hubert!”

“?????”

[doctorgeekery]

After this confusing quadruple mess, a conspiracy theory emerges that Fred and George are actually just one person, and there were never any Weasley Twins. To add fuel to this theory, Fred and George make a point to never be seen together (publicly).

When asked about this theory, Fred/George subtly insinuates that he used Polyjuice Potion so that there could be multiple versions of himself at once. This goes around the Hogwarts Rumor Mill like fire. The Weasley family says nothing to dispute it, not even Percy.

[hippocrates460]

Percy makes polyjuice successfully for the first time in his fifth year, when he finally has sufficient motivation. Fred, George, Edward and Hubert walk into the great hall one morning, identical but for their school ties, and the chaos is so great that nobody realizes Percy and Ron are missing.

[iamnmbr3]

It’s hard to write drarry because on the one had, as a fic writer you want to be careful not to go overboard, especially with a noncanon ship, and to develop the relationship gradually and naturally. But you also want to be faithful to canon. And canon is just so outrageously over the top when it comes to these two. 

Special shoutout to: 

The time in book 2 when Lucius gets annoyed with Draco because he has spent the entire summer talking about Harry Potter and his scar and his broomstick.

The time in book 2 when Draco didn’t notice the snitch was next to his face because he was looking at Harry (and Harry only sees it because he’s turning around to glare at Draco).

The time in book 4 at the Quidditch World Cup when Harry, Ron, and Hermione got into an argument with Draco while running away from Death Eaters, and Harry takes time to notice that Draco’s eyes are glittering. Even though he should have other things on his mind and the lighting is poor. 

The time in book 5 when Harry described the rest of the Slytherin Quidditch team in unflattering terms, but noticed how Draco’s hair was gleaming in the sunlight.  

The time in book 5 when Harry and Draco were making faces at each other during their O.W.L. Charms practical, and Draco got so distracted he smashed a wine glass.

The time in book six when in the middle of having a very heated altercation in Madam Malkins Harry noticed that the robes Draco was trying on looked handsome.

The time in book 6 when Harry immediately noticed that Draco had a new traveling cloak because apparently he keeps track of all his clothing.

The time in book 6 when Harry got so distracted by Draco changing into his robes that he got hit in the face by Goyle’s luggage.

The approximately 88990808 times Harry notices Draco’s hair/eyes/skin/voice/facial features

And those are just the most extreme, over the top, if-this-was-in fic-it-might-be-A-Bit-Much moments 

[iamnmbr3]

@serpentsortias:

Broke: Harry is oblivious

Woke: Harry is selectively observant only about the things that interest him

Bespoke: Harry was too busy staring at Malfoy and cataloguing every detail of his appearance and daily life to notice literally anything else, ever   

[justahermitcrab]

every fuck buddy to lovers fic on ao3

friend: just saying... he looks at you like you're more to him than just a fuck buddy

main character, in narration: and from then on i couldn't stop thinking about what my aggressively quirky and gay best friend had said. every time my fuck buddy and i went on dates, slept in the same bed, spent intimate time confiding in each other and were romantically affectionate i couldn't help but think- could he possibly be with me for anything other then my 10 inch dick????

[zigster-ao3]

My piece based on the beautiful (gorgeous, heartwrenching, outstanding, amazing) story Grounds for Divorce by the exceedingly talented @tepre !!! 

Bonus Harry close up cause I wanted y’all to see his freckles.