Aev @aevi-gata - Tumblr Blog

i am terrified for my future

something people don’t talk about enough: both extremes in autism

almost every autistic trait has something to do with extremes, and for most of them, autistic people can be on either end of the scale. sometimes this is for hyper/hypo sensitivity reasons, and sometimes it’s due to overcompensation.

examples of some typical autistic traits and their equally austistic counterparts:

no empathy? how about having such extreme empathy that you cry when your stuffed animals are ignored?

no/wrong facial expressions? how about exaggerated facial expressions because you learned early on you were doing it wrong?

nonverbal? how about being hyperverbal and not knowing when to stop talking?

highly advanced vocabulary? how about when you can’t remember common everyday words in conversation?

can’t tell when things are awkward? how about having such an sensitivity to awkwardness that you can barely stand being in the room when an awkward moment happens on tv?

has a meltdown over a small tag on their shirt? how about being so oblivious to physical sensations that you don’t know you broke a bone?

doesn’t follow social norms? how about a strict adherence to social norms, often accompanied by severe anxiety that you’re not doing it right?

can’t stand bright lights and loud noises? how about pressing lights so close to your eyes that you’re temporary blinded and constantly making noises when it gets too quiet?

no eye contact? how about intense, sustained eye contact that you don’t know when to break?

constantly rocking back and forth? how about being unable to walk without getting disoriented?

remember this when people say “you don’t seem autistic” - there is no quintessential autistic representation. this is what we mean when we say it’s a spectrum.

small rant, it’s not organized, whoops

talking to allistic people can be hella frustrating when i’m trying to describe something to do with synesthesia/SPD and they hit me with a “oh, everyone experiences that.”

like ok buddy, either you didn’t fully understand what i just said, or 10 other people in my life are lying.

i get that it’s possible that some individuals may experience some of the things that are wrong with my perception, but if that’s the case, then i don’t understand how SPD exists in the first place... it just makes me panicky, makes me paranoid that everything i know is not true.

it’s scary because i didn’t even know i had the sensory issues until somewhat recently. i knew i was autistic, but i can’t describe how much shock i went through when i found out that nobody else feels sound, nobody else tastes textures, nobody else hears motion, nobody else’s colors bleed out of their objects... the concept that eveyone else had a relatively boring view of the world was absolutely absurd.

#actuallyautistic #spd #sensory processing disorder #synesthesia #allistic

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This, uh, this one also got kinda out of hand. Here’s Take On Me, but only every second beat, By A-Ha. It’s uh… if you’ve never had anxiety it’s a bit like what you’ll feel when you listen to this. Sorry.

Source Code, if you dislike good music, I guess

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“When the light turns green, you go. When the light turns red, you stop. But what do you do when the light turns blue with orange and lavender spots?”