The Association of the Suitors of Sauron (ASS), now consisting of the following;
Melkor, Celebrimbor, Ar-Pharazon, Nazgul #1, Nazgul #2, Nazgul #3, Nazgul #4, Nazgul #5, Nazgul #6, Nazgul #7, Nazgul #8, and Nazgul #9
Demands the following:
Bigger bed, so that the 14-way and the following requisite cuddle time* may be conducted in proper comfort
*Adequate cuddle time proportional to the affection given by the suitors
Allowance to play with His Lordship's hair at will
More steeds (The Nazgul lost their rides again)
Sluttier outfits
Saurons harem pining their postulates on the doors of the main hall in Barad-dûr like Martin Luther with his 95 theses


















