anxious queer

parker they/them queer & nonbinary.

[alcoholicleechboy]

i am so so gay

[alcoholicleechboy]

i've gotten a little shit for this from people i know irl and honestly like i'm an adult leave me alone

[alcoholicleechboy]

i am so so gay

[clientsfromhell]

Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?” Client: “Is e-mail internet”? Me: “I beg your pardon?” Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?” Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.” Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.” Me: “Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?” Client: “Open what?” Me: “Your browser, can you open up your browser?” Client: “My…my…?” Me: “What you click on when you want to browse the internet?” Client: “I don’t use anything, I just turn my computer on, and it’s there.” Me: “Okay. Do you see the little blue ‘e’ icon on your desktop?” Client: “You mean I have to start writing letters again?” Me: “I’m…what, I’m sorry?” Client: “I don’t have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.” Me: “No, ma'am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue ‘e’ on your computer screen for me?” Client: “Oh, this is too much work. I’m too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Can’t you send me my e-mail?” Me: “We…okay, ma'am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?” Client: “My what?” Me: “The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now - it’s most likely near your computer?”

Client: “Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.

Me: “My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what you’re seeing on your computer screen?” Client: “It’s been the same thing for the last two hours.” Me: “An error message?” Client: “No, just stars. It’s black and moving stars.” Me: “…Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?” Client: “Yes.”

Me: “Move it for me.” Client: “Move it?” Me: “Yes. Move it.” Client: “My e-mail!”

[mer-squared-deactivated20200212]

This post gave me a fucking ulcer.

[gloriousruin-deactivated2018070]

Jfc

[stainedglassstar-deactivated201]

I’m WHEEZING

[alcoholicleechboy]

i'm gonna see if anyone else is home

[alcoholicleechboy]

and it's raining that'd be so perfect

[alcoholicleechboy]

i just wanna swim naked and scream underwater

[alcoholicleechboy]

it's a great day to die

[kibumkim]

every greaser is gay

[kibumkim]

source: i fucking said so

[gddr6]

stay homo, ponyboy

[alcoholicleechboy]

i just want head so badly i could cry

[alcoholicleechboy]

nothing has felt real in so long who knows

[alcoholicleechboy]

i really want to start my silence will not protect you tattoo

[alcoholicleechboy]

i'm smoking a menthol spliff rn and it's actually not bad

[alcoholicleechboy]

why is it so difficult to coordinate schedules for a threesome

[alcoholicleechboy]

these were taken like a week apart'??

[beautyandthepriest-deactivated2]

concept: instead of hedwig, Harry goes into the pet store and this little snake in the back of the store talks to him, obviously gets his attention more than the other animals, and harry feels sorry for it so he takes it home. Then the snake helps Harry throughout his years at hogwarts as harry carries it wrapped around his hand all like “pssssst, haaarryyy, the dark lord isss coming sss” or just petty shit like “haaaarrryy, now is the time, assskkk out cho chaaannngg”

[hogwartsaheadcanon]

The snake getting really agitated in second year and Harry like ‘Aw, what’s wrong little friend?’

And snake’s like ‘Nah don’t worry it’s cool, it’s just that big fuck-off snake in the pipes that keeps making you think you’re hearing things—it’s like, ten thousand foot long, and I’m a corn snake, so you know. Bit intimidating.’

[analyticalsenshi]

Third year he eats Scabbers and saves them all a lot of time

[nomzoms]

my hand slipped

[alcoholicleechboy]

i love this outfit so much wtf??

[beautifulfic-deactivated2015091]

The other day I answered the door to my postman. I was signing for stuff, like you do, when my kid came downstairs with only his underwear and a t-shirt on.

Now, the postman couldn’t see him from the front door, and I scribbled my signature and said, to my son, “You need to put some trousers on.”

My postman, very slowly, looked down at his trouser-clad legs with a mixture of confusion and horror, and then looked back up at me.

When I explained I was talking to my little boy out of his line of sight, he gave a very solemn nod and said: “I thought I’d put trousers on this morning, but suddenly when you said that, I really wasn’t sure.” 

[beautifulfic-deactivated2015091]

Years after this, I still have the same postman. He still always wears trousers, but every time I answer the door, I’m pretty sure we both remember this incident.