boop

[sanctimoniouswrites]

That certainly wasn't true, but the sentiment was nice enough to hear. Especially when it was affirmed with the press of lips to the curve of his jaw, until they found his own. It had always been instinct, the want for more as his lips parted, as his tongue welcomed Milo's into his mouth. There may have been any number of things that were Milo's drug of choice, but this had always been Cooper's only. The press of Milo against him, the singer's lips on his own; the thought that they were the only two that mattered. A little voice in the back of his mind, the one that had argued about coming to San Fran, attempted to make itself known once more. As Milo pulled away, as Cooper's fingers tightened around the neck of the bottle. It tried to remind him of what had happened so long ago, but he forced it back as the question from the other was posed, "That's certainly one of the feelings I have." Excitement, worry; it all seemed to mingle together now, as each new day prompted the possibility of new uncertainties.

There had been a light smile on his lips, but now it seemed to grow at the edges, if only for the excitement that he could see plain as day on Milo's face. His free hand reached out, curled fingers against the curve of the singer's hip, "Is that the surprise? That we get to go back home?" A hint of teasing infiltrated his tone, as he canted his head, "Can I handle waiting? I'm not sure, I've become a little more impatient over the years. I may just have to force it out of you." More teasing as he leaned forward, as his own lips pressed against Milo's, before he moved them down to his jaw, "Is it a big surprise?"

[alcxandcrxwrites]

Milo always had a bit of a brain shortage when Cooper kissed him. The rockstar was always more than willing to fall into the other, to lose himself like he did to other vices. Because that's what his boyfriend was – a vice. Pulled together like a magnet, Milo could never get the other out of his mind. Sure, that was probably an issue, one where he'd drag Cooper into his madness and never let go (again). But other times, Milo liked to think they had a nice life in a fancy place, Vail, Aspen – he did like the mountains. But the fame was nicer. He leaned his forehead against Cooper's, trying not to laugh, "What if I told you...I set up someone to find a place for us to live together?"

It was supposed to be a surprise, but Milo was terrible at keeping them. Not when he was excited about something, way more than he usually was, and now, he was framing Cooper's face with his hands, "You know, a real live place for us."

[sanctimoniouswrites]

There had been a normalcy to his life, once the band had broken up and Milo had gone off on his own. Sure, the tours had come to an end, and being plastered on magazines or tabloids or anything else had dwindled away. But Cooper had been happy, he had been able to enjoy life without getting caught up in the bright lights and the treachery of what fame could offer him. And yet... he had so easily given into Milo's request. He had allowed himself to be pulled back into the life he had once known. Was it truly what he wanted? Could he have stood more adamantly behind his decision to say no? If anyone had ever truly been Milo's number one fan, it had been Cooper. And it likely still was, despite the arguments that happened within his own head. All that seemed to quiet, however, as the other's hand rested against his jaw. He could remain steadfast, he could, "Right, exactly, and I want to make sure I have a clear mind for it. Wouldn't want to mess up." As if that were the only reason, as if he wouldn't be worrying himself sick keeping an eye on the other as he danced around the stage.

The bottle was at Milo's lips before Coop could grab it, before he could hold it against his chest, "I'm sure they would, but the bottle is fine." Perhaps Milo couldn't exactly quit cold turkey, perhaps Cooper needed to make these compromises until sobriety could handle both of them. The hand moved against his shirt, his chest as he reached for the bottle. Attention split between the other's words, and securing the vodka, "A surprise, for me?" Curiosity bled into his voice as he eyed the singer, bottle finally brought to his lips, though the pull was much different than what he had once been used to prior to a show.

[alcxandcrxwrites]

"You never mess up, baby. You're always perfect," Milo grinned, peppering a few kisses all along Cooper's jaw and finally to his mouth. The other tasted like vodka, and Milo's tongue searched for every last bit of it in his boyfriend's mouth. He pulled away now, remembering when Cooper had insisted they weren't even dating. They didn't need to date, so Milo had moved right past that into something else. They were just...together. They were always good together. Milo's madness had yet to cease, but he was...almost less of a diva when Cooper was around. The other's temperance eased his own high strung attitude, and while he hadn't quiet just yet, the lack of drugs running continuously through his system helped, too. "Yeah, you excited for it?" They'd been together since they were teenagers, years and years together, and a few lapsed in between. In Milo's mind, they were just ready to continue like this.

"Can you handle waiting until after the show?" he grinned, pressing another kiss against Cooper's mouth. Milo leaned into it, the other's hair all a mess because the singer couldn't stop running his hands through it. "We get to go back home after this show, you know."

[sanctimoniouswrites]

In reality, there were few that understood the true difficulty that came with saying no to Milo. Many around him seemed so eager to give in to the demands of the singer. Even Cooper, who had sworn a promise to himself to stay far, far away from Milo; now found himself having understood that difficulty once again. There had never been a simplicity in denying the other, no compromise to what Milo wanted and what Cooper needed. In the end, he had agreed to go to San Fran. To stay a night, which turned into the another, until the songwriter had found himself within the other's orbit for a month now. Lips had never been worried more by his teeth than in that last month, the constant need to watch Milo at the forefront of his thoughts. Why was the singer taking so long in the bathroom? Had it been a dealer that he'd just been texting? Promises and reassurances had been made, but that didn't keep Cooper from sitting on the edge of his seat. From worrying over whether or not Milo would spiral, would fall back into the hole and to the bottom of it. Even as the show approached, he found himself at an unease. Especially when a bottle was suddenly pressed to his lips, as the smell infiltrated his senses, "Are you sure that's a good idea?" Words that seemed to be some of the only ones he knew those days, "Shouldn't we be focusing on the show?"

[alcxandcrxwrites]

Milo knew that Cooper was always way more hesitant to do almost anything that he wanted to do. It came from some weird desire to protect him, or something like that. He usually went along with Cooper's choices, mostly because Milo had badgered him into that choice in the first place, but he was still desperately clinging to the idea that Cooper could walk out that door all over again. Sensible Cooper this, sober Cooper that; the truth was, neither of them were that stable. Cooper was clearly not in his right mind when taking Milo back. Milo put his hand on the other's nice jaw, grinning slightly, "Why wouldn't it be? You're going on stage, babe. You're a star. Everyone loves us together." There'd been plenty of articles, now. Whatever life Cooper thought he had on the down low was blasted away.

He took a swig of the alcohol himself, offering it once again to the other, "I can get jello shots. You love jello shots. Someone would bring them asap, I bet they would." Milo smoothed down the shirt Cooper was wearing, happy with his choice, "I was thinking – actually, no. I'll wait to surprise you after the show."

[alcxandcrxwrites]

@sanctimoniouswrites

Things had been someone borderline for the two of them as of late. He'd managed to convince Cooper that San Fransisco had a great gay scene, it had everything they needed to let loose and have fun. The shows went off without a hitch, and off they continued. One night turned into two, two turned into two weeks, and here they were a month later. Milo still didn't slow down. He had no need to do that. The drugs were on the more subtle side, less spiking it up the nose and more. But he wasn't completely sober, couldn't handle that yet. Instead, he was running off the high of the show coming up in an hour, dressed in a normal fashionably slutty get up, holding a bottle of vodka to Cooper's lips, "Need a little bit of liquid courage, babe?"

[alcxandcrxwrites]

sanctimoniouswrites​:

There had never been any sort of shortage when it came to the passion department, and it would have been clear to anyone that looked at them, in the way that they had never been able to keep their hands off of each other. While Cooper may have been a tad more reserved in his actions, their friends and family had always seen the way they held each other, the way they looked at each other. And that was likely the hardest part in what Cooper had needed to do all those years ago. To break off what they had had because of another choice that Milo had made, even if the other promised it had been for the betterment of both of them.

A breathless chuckle met Milo’s words, a soft grin on his lips as he looked down, “Mm, so what should we do instead?” His tone was teasing, his hand shifted so that he could draw his thumb across Milo’s lower lip.

Milo smiled, the laugh that escaped the other sending his heart fluttering in his chest. He had forgotten what this was like – to laugh, to love – to feel like he was on cloud nine because he had someone with him. His mood always changed so dramatically from time to time, that he merely never remembered to take time for himself. This was that, perhaps. The distraction he needed so he didn’t turn to the drugs in the room, didn’t stumble around and fall off the balcony or drown in the spa – couldn’t be him. He pulled Cooper’s thumb into his mouth, tongue swirling around the digit before he released it. “I think you should put your killer body to use – since when did you get an eight pack, Coop?”

[alcxandcrxwrites]

sanctimoniouswrites​:

Fingers continued to move against Milo’s head, putting just enough pressure as they remained in that same position. But Cooper wasn’t complaining, for there was nothing wrong in that department. If they could have forgot about the rest of the world, forgot about their problems and addictions, then maybe, just maybe, Cooper could have stayed just like that. And just as he thought that the want couldn’t get any better, Milo had lifted his head so that their lips could meet once again. His hand slipped down, just as the other lifted so that both framed Milo’s face as he deepened the kiss that much more.

Then painful words were being spoken against his lips, and Cooper fought the want to sigh, “I know, but I’m here.” For how long? He couldn’t be certain, and he knew that it would ultimately rest in how well Milo could actually try. Or even when he would try. “That’s all you need to do right now, Mi. Just try,” he whispered against his mouth, as if there were too many people around that could have overheard them, despite how alone the pair of them were in the moment.

Milo hummed into the kiss, holding onto it for as long as Cooper would let him. He didn’t know what else to do, the drive in him to do something stupid, to fuck it all up before Cooper could, well, he was trying his best. Their former friends would be pissed at Cooper, that much was sure, and Milo would have to berate them for being jealous. It was all a scenario in Milo’s head – he could see it. He’d deal with that when it came, however, his arms falling around Cooper’s waist now as he pulled them impossibly closer. 

Addiction was never thrown away over night, and while he’d been in and out of the hospital throughout the years, they’d fixed him up and sent him on his way. It was easy to stay in shape when he barely slept, barely ate – a chaotic jumble of a life, and he’d somehow ensure Cooper would be there for the ride. The other was trying to convince him, and Milo let himself be convinced for once, “Okay – less talking, now. We’re in a hot tub and you’re naked – how am I supposed to focus?”

[alcxandcrxwrites]

sanctimoniouswrites​:

Cooper knew that he couldn’t keep hiding his thoughts from Milo, not if he expected the other to understand where he was coming from. Or why he was being the way that he was. But he needed to think about his words carefully, needed to ensure that he said exactly what he needed to in the gentlest way possible. So he kept quiet, as Milo’s hands fell onto his thighs, as his head rested against his chest, all the while thinking over his words.

His hand was back in Milo’s hair, fingers gently massaging where he could reach, “I have always loved you, Milo. For the good, the bad and everything in-between. Nothing you say or do will ever change that. But being with you? I can’t continue to do that if you keep using. I can’t keep watching you hurt yourself, not anymore.”

Milo frowned again, but he didn’t move from where he was resting his head on the other’s chest. It’d been so long, for someone who craved intimacy and never got it unless he was messy enough to pretend. That had happened, plenty of times, and sometimes a guy had good enough abs that he’d take a line and forget why he asked them to stay. His gaze drifted to the little box he’d brought that sat next to his sunglasses, before he brought his and Cooper’s mouths together one more time in a kiss.

“Promise it doesn’t hurt, babe. What hurt was you – not having you.” Would he change what happened? Absolutely not. He got what he wanted, but it was a lonely, lonely life. And he’d drag Cooper down with him until he hit rock bottom, perhaps. “But I’ll try, yeah? I’ll try. I’ll try for you.”

[alcxandcrxwrites]

sanctimoniouswrites​:

Damn, Cooper knew he should have used a different word. Something other than one that Milo could grab onto, and twist and turn to how he needed it. “No, that’s not — it was the wrong choice of word,” he stated, teeth caught at the inside of his cheek. He needed to think more carefully of the words that he chose to use, or how he made sure he got his point across. Any slip up wouldn’t do good for the conversation. “I love you for you, no conditions or requirements,” but being with him, that was an entirely different story. For Cooper couldn’t simply stand by and watch Milo drink or snort or smoke his way into a hospital bed.

“You don’t have to go to rehab,” because weren’t there people who could help outside of them? Wasn’t there some kind of life coach or something that would be there with them, for every step of the way? Or rather, couldn’t someone be paid well to do it? Anything, Cooper would do anything if it meant that Milo got the help that he needed. If it meant that he got sober, and stayed sober. “Milo, you will always be great. The drugs and the drinking didn’t do that for you. And becoming sober won’t take that away,” he stated, hand coming to rest on his cheek, with his thumb idly moving back and forth. 

Milo wasn’t sure he believed Cooper, now. There were too many gears turning in his head, so much insecurity packed on from layers and layers of self imposed trauma. “That’s not what you just said,” he didn’t want to panic, didn’t want to risk it all again. The paranoia ran deep, and his hands finally gripped Cooper’s thighs for stability. He leaned into the touch again, the thought of rehab terrifying him as well. Him? Another failure of a celebrity? The magazines would go nuts. He couldn’t do that to himself. 

He didn’t look convinced, of anything really, but he was addicted to the idea of having Cooper around now. It was there, within reach, and perhaps once the other saw how much fun this life could be, well, then there would be no reason to be apart. He couldn’t wait to repeatedly fire whomever Cooper hired, but he leaned forward resting his cheek on the other’s chest. He listened to Cooper’s heartbeat, closing his eyes eventually, “I just don’t get why it’s a problem.”

[alcxandcrxwrites]

sanctimoniouswrites​:

And the next moments went exactly as Cooper had expected them to, with Milo’s words going from one place to the next, with him seemingly only focusing on the part where he’d agreed to go to the next concert. “If you agree to the stipulation,” he affirmed, for he was not going to let it go, not going to allow Milo to talk him out of it or skirt around what Cooper was asking for. Perhaps if Milo got clean, then maybe he could really look past the rest of it. Forgive him for leaving the band high and dry for his own solo career. It was a large if, but Cooper was willing to test the waters, so long as Milo agreed to his terms.

But Cooper wasn’t going to simply get away with it scot free, as he watched the gears practically turn in Milo’s head, until the word slipped from his tongue. “Milo, please,” he wasn’t certain what he was begging for, maybe a little understanding. A hand moved to trail fingers through Milo’s hair, slipping them off his forehead, pushing some behind his ear. “You know what you need help with,” he murmured, as if voicing the words would remind Milo that he needed more, needed some in the moment. And inevitably, he knew the question would come, in some fashion or another. Cooper sighed softly, his hand still brushing through the other’s hair, “I won’t leave you, not if you do this. I’ll be with you, every step of the way.” Because how else was he going to know that Milo was getting the help that he needed.

Milo frowned once more, not liking that word either. Stipulation. “So you love me but – it’s conditional,” he clarified, leaning back now even as Cooper ran his fingers through his hair. The touch was nice, gentle, it was all he ever craved. He loved the way Cooper did almost anything, really. Laughed, smiled, concentrated on lyrics, songs – but Milo would say anything to make him stay. If this was how it had to be, anyway. He hated how distracted he was by Cooper’s fingers, even though he’d removed his own hands and let them sit on the edge of the hot tub. This was unfortunately the sober Milo, the one that was no fun – at least, that’s what he’d been told before.

“I don’t have time for rehab, Cooper.” It’d been offered before, he remembered. Sometimes a manager would push it towards him, then he’d fire them. It was an easy way to be rid of them. “I have so many shows – they’re – I can’t cancel them for a month.” His knee started to bounce again, jittery without anything to calm him down. Milo had to move his gaze to Cooper again, if just to have something to concentrate on, “What if I’m – not as good? Without it all.”

[alcxandcrxwrites]

sanctimoniouswrites​:

Milo had a tendency to be unable to leave well enough alone, always pushing and prodding when something didn’t go exactly as he had wanted. It wasn’t a habit that Cooper detested, for he had learned long ago how to live with it, but he did find himself constantly having to redirect the conversations, to steer Milo towards something other than what he had set his mind to. “Not right now,” which wasn’t an outright no, and Cooper was hoping if he left the possibility there that Milo would let the conversation drop. For now, at least.

But the response he received to his question caused a frown to touch the corners of his mouth. There was that nagging feeling, at the back of his mind, that Cooper often felt when he said or did something that seemed to be unfavorable to the man whose lap he still sat in. And there was that nagging feeling of wanting to make it right for Milo, no matter how he knew that he needed to stand his ground. “Milo –,” he started, wondering if he would come to regret the decision that had slipped into his mind. “If I promise to come to San Francisco with you, will you let me get you help?” Because Cooper knew, if he wasn’t there to help the other, he could almost guarantee that the promise Milo had made before would crumble within a matter of days.

Milo froze, like the water was cold, and no longer warm and keeping them together. Help. How did he need any help? The drugs helped him through it all, the drinking only exacerbated how alone he felt – what if Cooper left him again? But he started getting jittery once more, his hands everywhere on the other’s body all at once. If he could do Cooper as a distraction, then perhaps getting clean wouldn’t be all that bad. “You’ll come with me?” he smiled now, brilliant and blinding as his eyes lit up. That was everything he really wanted, to not be alone if the other didn’t wish to be with him. He bumped their noses once more, “I’ll make it great for you, baby, I promise.”

The lingering question was there, whatever complications Cooper was trying to introduce. Or perhaps intervention was the correct word. Milo didn’t have time for rehab, but he’d amuse Cooper for now – how else would he be able to get the other to come with him? “Help,” Milo pretended to try out the word, like it was a new one, and he met the other’s gaze with interest, now. “What do I need help with?” Milo narrowed his eyes now, his grip falling from Cooper’s body. He felt slightly betrayed, slightly out of touch. It hadn’t been an issue before, had it? No, they all let him do a line, said nothing as he barely stood up straight – called him reckless, stupid – he knew they did. They always did. “I can’t – What if you leave me again?”

[alcxandcrxwrites]

sanctimoniouswrites​:

The bump to his nose again had his eyes finally opening, his gaze directed to Milo, and to the wink that greeted him. A soft smile held firm to the corners of his mouth, though Cooper started to wonder if it was even wise to be here, in that spa or in that hotel room. Perhaps it would have been better had he gone home the moment that Milo had finally left the dressing room. Or perhaps it would have been better had he not come in the first place, to the dressing room, that is. “Unfortunately not,” he breathed, his hand resting on the side of Milo’s neck now. 

Cooper knew that Milo would question his reasoning from the moment that he had said it, but he didn’t relent, kept his gaze focused down on the other. “We aren’t dating, Milo,” he reminded him, that gentle smile still slotted in place. “I’m not sure. I wasn’t expecting any of this to happen tonight, and I can’t know exactly how long I might need.” His head canted to the side, lip momentarily caught between his lips, “Is that going to be a problem?” Or rather, would Milo be able to stay away from any sort of drugs, or at least, try to.

Milo leaned into the touch, but he was starting to feel like he was less than enough for Cooper. Perhaps the other wanted a boring life. A mundane one, with his movies, and his popcorn, and his...whatever it was normal people did on a weekend. Milo felt like he rarely had time for himself, and when he did, he was constantly in trouble or getting berated for how he wanted to spend his time. The drugs didn’t do anything to Cooper, so Milo wasn’t sure why it was such a big deal. Milo knew what would happen, now. They’d fuck a few more times, Cooper would fall asleep, and Milo would slip out in the early morning hours. He had to leave him behind and see if Cooper even bothered to come after him.

“But we could be,” Milo frowned, looking down between them now. He hated being alone, more than anything, and it’s how he got so bad in the first place, perhaps. Despite his friends being there, despite Cooper being there, he’d fallen into the madness to keep up with it. Always having to speak in interviews, having to take the brunt of it, he couldn’t keep up. His only constants were the drugs, and he wasn’t going to give that up if Cooper was holding him hostage like this. He sighed, “No. Whatever you want, Cooper.”

[alcxandcrxwrites]

sanctimoniouswrites​:

There was so much that Cooper wanted to say in the moment, wanted to express to Milo but he knew how carefully he needed to tread around the other. Milo had a way of spinning words as he pleased, had a way of making one regret their words the moment they were spoken. And Cooper didn’t want to be accused of being ungrateful, or jealous, or any number of what he had once been called during one of their many fights. So he took every moment he could get to formulate his thoughts, to gain an understanding of what he wanted, and what he needed to say to Milo. But first, the lyrics were being offered up to the other. 

The apology that came first was almost a slap in the face, but Cooper only smiled through it, “It’s fine, it’s my sad boy hours. As my assistant likes to call it.” There was a soft chuckle, a shrug of his shoulders. “I know. I know I did, but —,” he inhaled softly as Milo bumped their noses together, and he let his eyes slid closed, if only so that he could think properly without having to look at the other. To really look at him. “I need time too, Milo. I can’t just rush into everything, not anymore.” It seemed like a good response, a simple response, neither a yes or a no response. “I don’t know anymore. I guess… closure, for starters.”

Milo gave a small grin, seeing how that fit his other half. No matter how much distance Cooper tried to put between them, Milo would close it, inch by inch, until he was finally back where he belonged. Cooper had said he was enough, so again – there was a lot being said, and nothing being said at all. He bumped Cooper’s nose again, waiting for him to open his eyes so Milo could wink at him, “You mean eight hours isn’t enough?” It was a small joke, one where Milo was trying his damndest to be understanding. That word meant little to him, but for Cooper, he was apparently able to do a lot.

What would happen if Milo gave him a week? The singer knew he would fall, and fall hard, in a way to get him through the shows and the traveling. Sometimes he’d get so high he’d vaguely remember the journey from one place to another. Maybe that’s what he’d have to do, stumble through a week. “Closure?” The word hung between them, said with some bit of surprise. “Are you breaking up with me?” Milo frowned now, though they weren’t even together at the moment, “How long?” He whispered, their faces close once more. “A day? A week?”

[alcxandcrxwrites]

sanctimoniouswrites​:

“No, I don’t,” he admitted, though his reasoning truly had nothing to do with Milo. The awards had never been important for Cooper, his own gratification coming from when his songs were sung, when he could hear his lyrics over the radio. He didn’t care about awards or where his songs fell on the charts, for he had only ever wanted to make music that people could enjoy. Music that would speak to whoever needed it in the moment. He had only ever cared about awards because Milo cared about the awards, “I’m sorry.” 

For not watching the awards, for not hearing the praise that Milo had given him over the years. And perhaps for being so careless with his words. “No, Milo, it’s not that. I didn’t —,” he stopped midsentence, his lower lip pulled between his teeth as he inhaled slowly. “I’m sorry. I hadn’t come here to just –,” but he couldn’t quite use the terminology that Milo had, “I didn’t come just for that.” No, he had come because he hadn’t truly been given any other choice, not if it meant that someone got fired just because he was being petty after all these years. He had come to finally tell Milo that they were done, that enough was enough, but, like all times, Cooper had easily been misdirected from his original course. “Fine, but I warned you —,” and with that, he voiced some of the lyrics that he had been recently working on.

There were plenty of questions he wanted to ask, to bring up and force Cooper to tell him some way, some how, the he didn’t want some kind of future together. But those words weren’t there, and Milo frowned once more. There was a strange feeling in his chest, and he tried not to sour his mood. They were all jealous of him, they always had been, clearly. The only reason Cooper didn’t watch was to probably spite him, after all. Milo looked wildly offended, but at the apology, his features softened. He’d make him watch the next one. “There’ll always be another,” he said with a small smile, thinking now that Cooper would be beside him on the red carpet anyway. He always did look great in a suit.

“Just for that?” Milo was hanging off every word of Cooper’s, trying to focus as his knee began to bounce beneath the water. It was hard staying still, his nerves alight with anxiety, with nothing to calm him. Just a very naked Cooper. His knee went still when the other began to speak of the different lyrics, of the mournful words that he’d pieced together in their time apart. They were poetic, but Milo didn’t want to hear his other half drown himself in such sorrows. “I’m sorry,” he said for god knows how many times that night. His hand was placed now on the other’s chest, “But we can change this, Coop. We can be together. You told me you wanted that.” Milo bumped their noses together now, but he didn’t kiss the other one, not yet. He’d wait, as he always did, for Cooper to come to him first. His other hand trailed down the other’s back, “Why are you really here then, Coop?”

[alcxandcrxwrites]

sanctimoniouswrites​:

Perhaps he had let them venture too far into dangerous territory, perhaps he had entertained some idea in Milo’s head that he hadn’t even realized. Though, Cooper had always known that Milo wanted them back together, that the other had always wanted him right beside him. If only it could all be that easy, to simply be by Milo’s side for every concert, through every new tour, whenever he won his next big award. Cooper had once wanted all of that, to be there for it all and then some. But life had never been that easy, not for the pair of them. “Yeah, Mi, I missed you. I really did,” he stated, a hand lifted to drift the back of his fingers down the other’s cheek.

And though Milo had always been enough for Cooper, it had become too much. Too much stress, too much pressure, too many fights over the same old, same old. The drugs, the diva mentality that Milo had clung onto since they had been teenagers, the talking Cooper into every little thing. “We were, but sometimes that doesn’t work out. And sometimes people have to go their separate ways,” even though it pained Cooper to say, even though it broke his heart all over again, as it had three years ago. “I – are you sure now is the right time?”

Milo leaned into the touch, his blue eyes once more shining with unshed emotion. He felt too safe in Cooper’s arms, too vulnerable, and he had to try and keep it together. He didn’t have a line next to him to ease his nerves, no. He’d trapped himself as much as he’d trapped Cooper. Cooper was all he wanted when he was gone. When he was killing himself with work, with everything thrown at him. “I thank you, every time. Do you ever watch?” The grammys, the award shows, he always gave a shout out to Coop. It’d led to plenty of gossip throughout the years, but Milo never cared about the fallout from what he did or said.

“You sound so...convinced,” he said finally, leaning back a little and taking Cooper with him. They were impossibly close once more, skin upon skin, warm water and a view – Milo wasn’t sure what else Cooper could possibly want from him. “Is this all I am to you, then? A pity fuck because you don’t actually want to be with me?” Blue eyes turned steely, like it would be an issue if Cooper said something wrong. And it would be, but Milo wasn’t letting go just yet. “Yes, yes it’s the right time. Tell me. I want to make things right. You promised me we were it – I want you to prove it.”

[alcxandcrxwrites]

sanctimoniouswrites​:

There was a moment, where Cooper considered pushing Milo’s hands away, where he considered collecting his forgotten clothing and leaving the hotel room. But he was hypnotized, by Milo and all the ways that he could make him forget about the bad that had been in their relationship. His pants were undone, pushed down past his hips until they bunched up near his feet. “Milo, please,” he warned, not wanting this one evening of fun to turn into an evening that the both of them would regret.

His hand slipped into Milo’s now, letting himself be drawn into the spa and pulled close, “We can relax, eat some food. Maybe watch a movie.” It was only smart, and safe, to suggest mild sounding activities, for Cooper likely knew precisely what Milo would have wanted to do. His legs were on either side of the other while he settled on his lap, “We were, yeah.” For a time, but Cooper didn’t voice that part, kept it to himself to ensure that this night remained easy going.

Milo ran his hands up Cooper’s back, sighing now as he traced idle patterns into the other’s skin. That all sounded so mundane, the way Cooper spoke about it. Milo couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually sat down long enough to watch a movie. Usually he’d put one on to drown out the noises. The too loud noises from the other people in the hotel, the ones in his head when he let the intrusive thoughts get the better of him. “You said so yourself. That you missed me, too.” 

There was a point, here, that Milo was getting to. It was a dangerous one, perhaps. But he wasn’t going to let Cooper go that easily. “Hey – we were going to do great things, remember?” He sounded sad, which he was, but his mind was elsewhere at the moment. Looking down slightly, Milo searched for the right words, “Tell me about these songs.”

[alcxandcrxwrites]

sanctimoniouswrites​:

Of course he did, because when did Milo not just take everything to the extreme. At least this time, it was as innocent as simply giving them the opportunity to overindulge in food. “Yeah, the spa,” he affirmed, following after Milo, all the while working himself out of the sweatshirt he had on. It was tossed to the side, out of sight and out of mind as he focused on his shoes next. The question, however, caught him by surprise, for Cooper couldn’t remember the last time they had. He had remembered the various hotel rooms, and the different food items that they had been able to try, “No, I don’t, actually.”

Soon, his shoes were kicked off and to the side, Cooper drawn ever closer to the spa, and he was just about to work himself out of his pants when the mention of the jet hit him. His hands froze on the button of his jeans, Cooper’s gaze snapped up to Milo, “No.” The word slipped from his tongue quietly, before he was shaking his head. “No, Milo. Stop. I’m not going to San Francisco with you, or to any of your other concerts. I told you tonight, and I meant it.”

Milo took it in stride. It was just another way to change Cooper’s mind. The real dramatics would come in the morning if his ex decided to deny him then. He moved closer now, picking up where Cooper had left off with his pants. “Right, sorry. I forget things sometimes,” he admitted with a shy smile, though it was anything but as he pushed the other’s jeans off of narrow hips. “I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to, though,” he murmured, voice quieting as he finally shed the rest of his clothes. The spa was on already, and he held a hand out, waiting for Cooper to get in with him.

He pulled the other closer, arms encircling Cooper’s waist as he leaned back against the side, the warm water enveloping them. “So what are we going to do, then?” he murmured, meeting the other’s gaze. Milo didn’t want to beg, but he didn’t understand either way. “We’re good together, you know. You and me. You keep me...focused. That’s really, really hard.”

[alcxandcrxwrites]

sanctimoniouswrites​:

One minute, they had been in the hallway, talking about the song lyrics Cooper had finally confessed to. The next, they were in the car, with Milo crowded onto his lap, damn near stripping him once more in the backseats. Yet not a single complaint fell from his tongue, for it was too preoccupied with kissing Milo, with tasting the other and taking everything that was given to him. There had been no time for any of the food in the car, no time for even talking as they pawed at each other like two high school students on their prom night in the back of a limo. And it would have been obvious to any onlookers, given the state that Cooper was in when they finally had reached the hotel, when he stepped out of the car and immediately needed to adjust damn near everything. 

The hood of his jacket was tugged up, pulled forward as much as he could get it, before he was following Milo through the hotel. It was like a case of déjà vu, of all the hotels that the band had gone to during the few tours that they had gotten. Most of them hadn’t exactly been the best out there, but for a couple of kids, it had been more than they could have dreamed about. Now, the lobby, the hallways they walked down all seemed so lackluster. That is, until they reached the doors to the room that Milo had been given. And as promised, Cooper closed his eyes even as Milo’s hands moved over them. “Ready,” he breathed, before he heard the doors open. He waited a beat, before his eyes opened to take in the room that he was told was a surprise. Much of it was the same as any other, but the view — yes, the view was magical. Breathtaking, really. Drawn further in, he inhaled as he took it all in, “It is, Milo.” But it wasn’t the same, not like it once had been. Though, those were thoughts that would only damper the mood, and Cooper didn’t feel like getting into it with Milo. His hand lifted to rest against one of the other’s arms, fingers curled around it tightly, “How about a bath? And maybe some room service?”

-

Perhaps the truth of the matter was – Cooper should’ve never gotten in the car with him. But alas, Milo was biding his time. He always did. He’d gotten Cooper this far, and he didn’t want to ruin that. “I ordered everything on the menu for you, baby. All of it.” He grinned against Cooper’s ear, placing another kiss there against his neck before he released him. Pulling off his sunglasses, he tossed them to the side. Next came his sweatshirt, and he walked backwards in front of Cooper, towards the balcony, “A bath? In the spa, right? Or did you want an actual one?” He tilted his head, waiting for Cooper to follow once more. He always did, and it made Milo smirk each time. “D’you remember the last time we were in one of these?” His pants came next, and he tossed those along as well. 

“I remembered your favorite – chocolate cake.” No, that was definitely Milo’s favorite, but that didn’t matter. “Coop – you’re going to fucking love the jet, you know that? It has everything you’d ever want. Drinks all the time. We’re going to live it up, baby. San Francisco tomorrow – you want to come on stage? I have a stylist that can help out, you know. She’s great.”