The Bowery Presents
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KIROKAZE
Today's Document
Mike Driver
Love Begins
Andulka
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Noah Kahan
JVL
tannertan36
The Stonewall Inn
Cosmic Funnies
almost home
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@alex-wholenumber
!!!HELP WANTED!!!
I'm Alex Wholenumber. So, to make a long story short, I was kicked out and told I'd be relocated to a safe place, but now I'm trapped in a glorified prison pocket dimension with no way out. So, I need someone to build a portal to help get me out of here. No strings attached, I promise.
I get it if you don't trust me, though. It's understandable.
[OOC BELOW CUT]
[Once there's a change of guards, the one who's set to watch NESTER's cell next stands out a bit... Wait. Is that a EUCLYDIAN? A Euclydian that's NOT dead? Well, he's a different shape from the typical Euclydian, being vaguely moth-shaped and purple. He seems tired, as if he doesn't want to be here.]
(@alex-wholenumber)
*he lays silently in his cell apart from an occasional quiet whimper of pain. he goes completely silent whe he sees the other Euclydian and stares at him*
[The other Euclydian catches him staring. He furrows his eyebrows, waving awkwardly at NESTER.]
*he lifts one hand and waves back. his wounds have mostly stopped bleeding, but no one has bothered to take the muzzle off of him yet and it looks like it’s crumpling the wings on the back of his triangular head in a very uncomfortable way*
[The Euclydian glances at the muzzle. He debates removing it, but no one has given him any orders to remove the muzzle yet, and if he did and they didn't want him to... Well, he didn't want to become an ACTUAL prisoner here. He worked here, yes, and it DID feel like he was trapped with no way out, but he wasn't a prisoner. He didn't want to risk becoming one, either.]
*he lays back down, whining quietly, and still staring at the Euclydian*
… … who are you?
...Alex. Alex Wholenumber.
[HOLY SHIT HIS VOICE SOUNDS JUST LIKE THE OTHER ALEX???]
*he immediately sits up a lot straighter, eye wide and his wings trying to flutter excitedly despite the muzzle strap preventing them from moving much*
… ALEX??????
...Yeah? That's my name. I just said that.
*leans closer with very intense stare*
why do you have the same name and voice as my son?
"Your... son? I'm probably a variant of him. The multiverse is vast."
*he is starting to notice a lot of similarities between this and that time he was in theraprism*
… … this better not end with some weird lady cutting my eye out and replacing it with a large metal ball
"I... huh?"
… seems very similar to my last visit to a theraprism
"Wait, you've been here before? How have I not met you?"
[Probably because he worked in a different part of the Theraprism.]
yeah i was here when the whole thing was a theraprism, dimensional tyrant ward, got horribly tortured for a coupla months. uhhhhh, well you probably worked in a different ward, is my guess
"Yeah, I never worked in the dimensional tyrant ward. You seem... quite chill for a dimensional tyrant, to be honest."
… i want to be significantly kess chill right now but if it’s anythin like it used to be that would just end with me gettin punished horribly … they might decide to try starving me again … and sibling and harvey are convinced enough already that this form looks rather frail without thattt
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER glances down.]
"As someone who works here, I'm contractually obligated to tell you that this is not how things work and we always treat our patients with kindness and respect."
[...He's unsure about it.]
*he looks suspicious but hopeful*
well i know someone else musta taken over. hope they’re nicer than the one who was in charge of the dimensional tyrant ward when i was in here
"I think I've heard of her. Genevieve, right? Yeah, she's in here. Not as an employee. As a prisoner."
yup! that’s her. well at least i know she’s not wandering around out there somewhere.
…
also starting to wonder if EVERY ward in the old theraprism just had an alex variant working in it
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER shrugs.]
"I dunno. Maybe. I've never met another variant of me in here."
… so far i’ve met two variants and ya’ve both worked in this place … maybe next time i get trapped in here i’ll meet cookie alex
"...Wait. BOISENBERRY MOTH COOKIE IS A VARIANT OF ME???"
WAIT WHAT!? THERE’S ACTUALLY A COOKIE ALEX!? I WAS JUST JOKING ABOUT THAT
"Apparently? I honestly thought he was just. A cookie that sounded like me and was also a moth."
… okay so i adopted the one who was my guard last time does that meam that EVERY variant of you is my son, too?? (-/
"I'm... not sure. Do you want me to be your son?"
… i dunno … i think i might have enough children at the moment …
"Yeah, that's fair. Besides, I'm, like, a god, I think? I don't exactly need parents."
well i’m a god too and i think one of my kids is basically a cookie god. and then alex snd his two siblings. and then whatever hatches out of that egg. the thing shoulda hatched by now if it was gonna, wonder if i’d be allowed to eat it when i get back
"Oof. Yeah. That's... a lot."
yeahhhhh … so probably shouldn’t adopt another one
"Yeah, that's probably for the best."
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER paces around outside the cell, promptly tripping on a rock and letting out a curse in Euclydian. The same Euclydian dialect as NESTER's. What.]
*he immediately sits up straight again, almost hitting his head on the ceiling in his surprise. he responds in that same dialect*
*”I THOUGHT THE SET OF DIMENSIONS I WAS FROM WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT SPOKE THAT DIALECT!”*
*it made a sort of sense to him, his Euclydia was initially meant only as a simulation, it seemed sensible to him that it would be the only one with that dialect*
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER responds in Euclydian.]
"Really? That's interesting. I thought I was the only one who spoke this dialect."
*Nester is so happy to have someone to speak to in this language again*
“yeah!! well i thought i was the only one who spoke it. thought all the rest of them were dead”
"Well, last time I checked, my dimension was still okay. Maybe our dimensions are just very similar in terms of language?"
”my home dimensions was made to be a simulation of two dimensional life. i thought it would be unique in the multiverse in terms of language as well. it is so wonderful to speak it again. might have to teach it to my sibling when i get oitta here”
"It does feel nice to speak it again! And you don't seem to be judging me because of my being able to see the third dimension, so that's a plus."
”HAHAHAHAHAH!!! just look at where my eye is! i could see three dimensions, too! my parents used to make me take that medicine that was supposed to melt my eye so i couldn’t see anymore. did your dimension have that?”
"Yeah, my home had that, but luckily, when I developed my 3D vision, they didn't make me take any medicine. They just kicked me out."
”i would have preferred that to what my dad was like. mom tried to help me, let me talk to her about the stars.”
"The stars... They're beautiful, aren't they? Can't believe I went most of my life without even knowing they were there."
[Once there's a change of guards, the one who's set to watch NESTER's cell next stands out a bit... Wait. Is that a EUCLYDIAN? A Euclydian that's NOT dead? Well, he's a different shape from the typical Euclydian, being vaguely moth-shaped and purple. He seems tired, as if he doesn't want to be here.]
(@alex-wholenumber)
*he lays silently in his cell apart from an occasional quiet whimper of pain. he goes completely silent whe he sees the other Euclydian and stares at him*
[The other Euclydian catches him staring. He furrows his eyebrows, waving awkwardly at NESTER.]
*he lifts one hand and waves back. his wounds have mostly stopped bleeding, but no one has bothered to take the muzzle off of him yet and it looks like it’s crumpling the wings on the back of his triangular head in a very uncomfortable way*
[The Euclydian glances at the muzzle. He debates removing it, but no one has given him any orders to remove the muzzle yet, and if he did and they didn't want him to... Well, he didn't want to become an ACTUAL prisoner here. He worked here, yes, and it DID feel like he was trapped with no way out, but he wasn't a prisoner. He didn't want to risk becoming one, either.]
*he lays back down, whining quietly, and still staring at the Euclydian*
… … who are you?
...Alex. Alex Wholenumber.
[HOLY SHIT HIS VOICE SOUNDS JUST LIKE THE OTHER ALEX???]
*he immediately sits up a lot straighter, eye wide and his wings trying to flutter excitedly despite the muzzle strap preventing them from moving much*
… ALEX??????
...Yeah? That's my name. I just said that.
*leans closer with very intense stare*
why do you have the same name and voice as my son?
"Your... son? I'm probably a variant of him. The multiverse is vast."
*he is starting to notice a lot of similarities between this and that time he was in theraprism*
… … this better not end with some weird lady cutting my eye out and replacing it with a large metal ball
"I... huh?"
… seems very similar to my last visit to a theraprism
"Wait, you've been here before? How have I not met you?"
[Probably because he worked in a different part of the Theraprism.]
yeah i was here when the whole thing was a theraprism, dimensional tyrant ward, got horribly tortured for a coupla months. uhhhhh, well you probably worked in a different ward, is my guess
"Yeah, I never worked in the dimensional tyrant ward. You seem... quite chill for a dimensional tyrant, to be honest."
… i want to be significantly kess chill right now but if it’s anythin like it used to be that would just end with me gettin punished horribly … they might decide to try starving me again … and sibling and harvey are convinced enough already that this form looks rather frail without thattt
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER glances down.]
"As someone who works here, I'm contractually obligated to tell you that this is not how things work and we always treat our patients with kindness and respect."
[...He's unsure about it.]
*he looks suspicious but hopeful*
well i know someone else musta taken over. hope they’re nicer than the one who was in charge of the dimensional tyrant ward when i was in here
"I think I've heard of her. Genevieve, right? Yeah, she's in here. Not as an employee. As a prisoner."
yup! that’s her. well at least i know she’s not wandering around out there somewhere.
…
also starting to wonder if EVERY ward in the old theraprism just had an alex variant working in it
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER shrugs.]
"I dunno. Maybe. I've never met another variant of me in here."
… so far i’ve met two variants and ya’ve both worked in this place … maybe next time i get trapped in here i’ll meet cookie alex
"...Wait. BOISENBERRY MOTH COOKIE IS A VARIANT OF ME???"
WAIT WHAT!? THERE’S ACTUALLY A COOKIE ALEX!? I WAS JUST JOKING ABOUT THAT
"Apparently? I honestly thought he was just. A cookie that sounded like me and was also a moth."
… okay so i adopted the one who was my guard last time does that meam that EVERY variant of you is my son, too?? (-/
"I'm... not sure. Do you want me to be your son?"
… i dunno … i think i might have enough children at the moment …
"Yeah, that's fair. Besides, I'm, like, a god, I think? I don't exactly need parents."
well i’m a god too and i think one of my kids is basically a cookie god. and then alex snd his two siblings. and then whatever hatches out of that egg. the thing shoulda hatched by now if it was gonna, wonder if i’d be allowed to eat it when i get back
"Oof. Yeah. That's... a lot."
yeahhhhh … so probably shouldn’t adopt another one
"Yeah, that's probably for the best."
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER paces around outside the cell, promptly tripping on a rock and letting out a curse in Euclydian. The same Euclydian dialect as NESTER's. What.]
*he immediately sits up straight again, almost hitting his head on the ceiling in his surprise. he responds in that same dialect*
*”I THOUGHT THE SET OF DIMENSIONS I WAS FROM WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT SPOKE THAT DIALECT!”*
*it made a sort of sense to him, his Euclydia was initially meant only as a simulation, it seemed sensible to him that it would be the only one with that dialect*
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER responds in Euclydian.]
"Really? That's interesting. I thought I was the only one who spoke this dialect."
*Nester is so happy to have someone to speak to in this language again*
“yeah!! well i thought i was the only one who spoke it. thought all the rest of them were dead”
"Well, last time I checked, my dimension was still okay. Maybe our dimensions are just very similar in terms of language?"
”my home dimensions was made to be a simulation of two dimensional life. i thought it would be unique in the multiverse in terms of language as well. it is so wonderful to speak it again. might have to teach it to my sibling when i get oitta here”
"It does feel nice to speak it again! And you don't seem to be judging me because of my being able to see the third dimension, so that's a plus."
”HAHAHAHAHAH!!! just look at where my eye is! i could see three dimensions, too! my parents used to make me take that medicine that was supposed to melt my eye so i couldn’t see anymore. did your dimension have that?”
"Yeah, my home had that, but luckily, when I developed my 3D vision, they didn't make me take any medicine. They just kicked me out."
[Once there's a change of guards, the one who's set to watch NESTER's cell next stands out a bit... Wait. Is that a EUCLYDIAN? A Euclydian that's NOT dead? Well, he's a different shape from the typical Euclydian, being vaguely moth-shaped and purple. He seems tired, as if he doesn't want to be here.]
(@alex-wholenumber)
*he lays silently in his cell apart from an occasional quiet whimper of pain. he goes completely silent whe he sees the other Euclydian and stares at him*
[The other Euclydian catches him staring. He furrows his eyebrows, waving awkwardly at NESTER.]
*he lifts one hand and waves back. his wounds have mostly stopped bleeding, but no one has bothered to take the muzzle off of him yet and it looks like it’s crumpling the wings on the back of his triangular head in a very uncomfortable way*
[The Euclydian glances at the muzzle. He debates removing it, but no one has given him any orders to remove the muzzle yet, and if he did and they didn't want him to... Well, he didn't want to become an ACTUAL prisoner here. He worked here, yes, and it DID feel like he was trapped with no way out, but he wasn't a prisoner. He didn't want to risk becoming one, either.]
*he lays back down, whining quietly, and still staring at the Euclydian*
… … who are you?
...Alex. Alex Wholenumber.
[HOLY SHIT HIS VOICE SOUNDS JUST LIKE THE OTHER ALEX???]
*he immediately sits up a lot straighter, eye wide and his wings trying to flutter excitedly despite the muzzle strap preventing them from moving much*
… ALEX??????
...Yeah? That's my name. I just said that.
*leans closer with very intense stare*
why do you have the same name and voice as my son?
"Your... son? I'm probably a variant of him. The multiverse is vast."
*he is starting to notice a lot of similarities between this and that time he was in theraprism*
… … this better not end with some weird lady cutting my eye out and replacing it with a large metal ball
"I... huh?"
… seems very similar to my last visit to a theraprism
"Wait, you've been here before? How have I not met you?"
[Probably because he worked in a different part of the Theraprism.]
yeah i was here when the whole thing was a theraprism, dimensional tyrant ward, got horribly tortured for a coupla months. uhhhhh, well you probably worked in a different ward, is my guess
"Yeah, I never worked in the dimensional tyrant ward. You seem... quite chill for a dimensional tyrant, to be honest."
… i want to be significantly kess chill right now but if it’s anythin like it used to be that would just end with me gettin punished horribly … they might decide to try starving me again … and sibling and harvey are convinced enough already that this form looks rather frail without thattt
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER glances down.]
"As someone who works here, I'm contractually obligated to tell you that this is not how things work and we always treat our patients with kindness and respect."
[...He's unsure about it.]
*he looks suspicious but hopeful*
well i know someone else musta taken over. hope they’re nicer than the one who was in charge of the dimensional tyrant ward when i was in here
"I think I've heard of her. Genevieve, right? Yeah, she's in here. Not as an employee. As a prisoner."
yup! that’s her. well at least i know she’s not wandering around out there somewhere.
…
also starting to wonder if EVERY ward in the old theraprism just had an alex variant working in it
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER shrugs.]
"I dunno. Maybe. I've never met another variant of me in here."
… so far i’ve met two variants and ya’ve both worked in this place … maybe next time i get trapped in here i’ll meet cookie alex
"...Wait. BOISENBERRY MOTH COOKIE IS A VARIANT OF ME???"
WAIT WHAT!? THERE’S ACTUALLY A COOKIE ALEX!? I WAS JUST JOKING ABOUT THAT
"Apparently? I honestly thought he was just. A cookie that sounded like me and was also a moth."
… okay so i adopted the one who was my guard last time does that meam that EVERY variant of you is my son, too?? (-/
"I'm... not sure. Do you want me to be your son?"
… i dunno … i think i might have enough children at the moment …
"Yeah, that's fair. Besides, I'm, like, a god, I think? I don't exactly need parents."
well i’m a god too and i think one of my kids is basically a cookie god. and then alex snd his two siblings. and then whatever hatches out of that egg. the thing shoulda hatched by now if it was gonna, wonder if i’d be allowed to eat it when i get back
"Oof. Yeah. That's... a lot."
yeahhhhh … so probably shouldn’t adopt another one
"Yeah, that's probably for the best."
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER paces around outside the cell, promptly tripping on a rock and letting out a curse in Euclydian. The same Euclydian dialect as NESTER's. What.]
*he immediately sits up straight again, almost hitting his head on the ceiling in his surprise. he responds in that same dialect*
*”I THOUGHT THE SET OF DIMENSIONS I WAS FROM WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT SPOKE THAT DIALECT!”*
*it made a sort of sense to him, his Euclydia was initially meant only as a simulation, it seemed sensible to him that it would be the only one with that dialect*
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER responds in Euclydian.]
"Really? That's interesting. I thought I was the only one who spoke this dialect."
*Nester is so happy to have someone to speak to in this language again*
“yeah!! well i thought i was the only one who spoke it. thought all the rest of them were dead”
"Well, last time I checked, my dimension was still okay. Maybe our dimensions are just very similar in terms of language?"
”my home dimensions was made to be a simulation of two dimensional life. i thought it would be unique in the multiverse in terms of language as well. it is so wonderful to speak it again. might have to teach it to my sibling when i get oitta here”
"It does feel nice to speak it again! And you don't seem to be judging me because of my being able to see the third dimension, so that's a plus."
[Once there's a change of guards, the one who's set to watch NESTER's cell next stands out a bit... Wait. Is that a EUCLYDIAN? A Euclydian that's NOT dead? Well, he's a different shape from the typical Euclydian, being vaguely moth-shaped and purple. He seems tired, as if he doesn't want to be here.]
(@alex-wholenumber)
*he lays silently in his cell apart from an occasional quiet whimper of pain. he goes completely silent whe he sees the other Euclydian and stares at him*
[The other Euclydian catches him staring. He furrows his eyebrows, waving awkwardly at NESTER.]
*he lifts one hand and waves back. his wounds have mostly stopped bleeding, but no one has bothered to take the muzzle off of him yet and it looks like it’s crumpling the wings on the back of his triangular head in a very uncomfortable way*
[The Euclydian glances at the muzzle. He debates removing it, but no one has given him any orders to remove the muzzle yet, and if he did and they didn't want him to... Well, he didn't want to become an ACTUAL prisoner here. He worked here, yes, and it DID feel like he was trapped with no way out, but he wasn't a prisoner. He didn't want to risk becoming one, either.]
*he lays back down, whining quietly, and still staring at the Euclydian*
… … who are you?
...Alex. Alex Wholenumber.
[HOLY SHIT HIS VOICE SOUNDS JUST LIKE THE OTHER ALEX???]
*he immediately sits up a lot straighter, eye wide and his wings trying to flutter excitedly despite the muzzle strap preventing them from moving much*
… ALEX??????
...Yeah? That's my name. I just said that.
*leans closer with very intense stare*
why do you have the same name and voice as my son?
"Your... son? I'm probably a variant of him. The multiverse is vast."
*he is starting to notice a lot of similarities between this and that time he was in theraprism*
… … this better not end with some weird lady cutting my eye out and replacing it with a large metal ball
"I... huh?"
… seems very similar to my last visit to a theraprism
"Wait, you've been here before? How have I not met you?"
[Probably because he worked in a different part of the Theraprism.]
yeah i was here when the whole thing was a theraprism, dimensional tyrant ward, got horribly tortured for a coupla months. uhhhhh, well you probably worked in a different ward, is my guess
"Yeah, I never worked in the dimensional tyrant ward. You seem... quite chill for a dimensional tyrant, to be honest."
… i want to be significantly kess chill right now but if it’s anythin like it used to be that would just end with me gettin punished horribly … they might decide to try starving me again … and sibling and harvey are convinced enough already that this form looks rather frail without thattt
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER glances down.]
"As someone who works here, I'm contractually obligated to tell you that this is not how things work and we always treat our patients with kindness and respect."
[...He's unsure about it.]
*he looks suspicious but hopeful*
well i know someone else musta taken over. hope they’re nicer than the one who was in charge of the dimensional tyrant ward when i was in here
"I think I've heard of her. Genevieve, right? Yeah, she's in here. Not as an employee. As a prisoner."
yup! that’s her. well at least i know she’s not wandering around out there somewhere.
…
also starting to wonder if EVERY ward in the old theraprism just had an alex variant working in it
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER shrugs.]
"I dunno. Maybe. I've never met another variant of me in here."
… so far i’ve met two variants and ya’ve both worked in this place … maybe next time i get trapped in here i’ll meet cookie alex
"...Wait. BOISENBERRY MOTH COOKIE IS A VARIANT OF ME???"
WAIT WHAT!? THERE’S ACTUALLY A COOKIE ALEX!? I WAS JUST JOKING ABOUT THAT
"Apparently? I honestly thought he was just. A cookie that sounded like me and was also a moth."
… okay so i adopted the one who was my guard last time does that meam that EVERY variant of you is my son, too?? (-/
"I'm... not sure. Do you want me to be your son?"
… i dunno … i think i might have enough children at the moment …
"Yeah, that's fair. Besides, I'm, like, a god, I think? I don't exactly need parents."
well i’m a god too and i think one of my kids is basically a cookie god. and then alex snd his two siblings. and then whatever hatches out of that egg. the thing shoulda hatched by now if it was gonna, wonder if i’d be allowed to eat it when i get back
"Oof. Yeah. That's... a lot."
yeahhhhh … so probably shouldn’t adopt another one
"Yeah, that's probably for the best."
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER paces around outside the cell, promptly tripping on a rock and letting out a curse in Euclydian. The same Euclydian dialect as NESTER's. What.]
*he immediately sits up straight again, almost hitting his head on the ceiling in his surprise. he responds in that same dialect*
*”I THOUGHT THE SET OF DIMENSIONS I WAS FROM WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT SPOKE THAT DIALECT!”*
*it made a sort of sense to him, his Euclydia was initially meant only as a simulation, it seemed sensible to him that it would be the only one with that dialect*
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER responds in Euclydian.]
"Really? That's interesting. I thought I was the only one who spoke this dialect."
*Nester is so happy to have someone to speak to in this language again*
“yeah!! well i thought i was the only one who spoke it. thought all the rest of them were dead”
"Well, last time I checked, my dimension was still okay. Maybe our dimensions are just very similar in terms of language?"
[ALEX turns to them, seemingly tired. He blinks, before answering.]
"Oh, uh, yeah. That'd be fine."
"most thanks, child."
[somehow, they speak through whatever soundproof barriers TRUTH and JUSTICE have put up.]
"i see you are tired...how does this job treat you?"
"...I can't complain."
[So, if taken figuratively, that would be positive. If it were taken literally, however... was the wording able to be interpreted two different ways for a reason?]
"...oh, poor thing."
[they seem to get exactly what he means, somehow.]
"..nod if you wish to escape this place, and if they have done things that you dont agree with."
"What do you mean? I absolutely love my job."
[There's a slight bend in his body, as if he were attempting to nod.]
"Besides, even if I wanted to, I can't leave. I'm blocked from traveling outside of this dimension using my powers. I haven't broken the law yet, but apparently, there's certain people with similar powers who have broken the law. It's just a precaution."
"well, that seems rather unjust."
[the prisoner seems to soften up at the 'nod'.]
[they seem to blink rather odd. is...oh! its morse code!]
['tell me what they've done. you needn't speak.']
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER blinks back.]
["Well, they're not OVERTLY evil, but things just. Don't sit right with me. They take away everything that makes the prisoners here unique. Their emotions, their personalities, everything. They want us employees to become apathetic husks as well. It's not exactly EVIL, but it still feels wrong."]
['that, in itself, is evil. I have reason to believe they do more than that, however.']
["...They also psychologically torture their patients via isolation if they don't agree to embrace apathy. I don't want to cross them because I don't want to go through that."]
['oh, child...']
[they reach out, somehow able to pass through the door and grasp ALEX'S hand.]
['after this week, they will not longer partake in such practices. Alex, I will need your testimony, along with others. would that be alright?']
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER freezes at the touch.]
["I'd love to, but... I don't know if I can."]
['you will. trust in me.']
["...Okay. I will."]
['good.']
[they let go. in ALEX's hands is a phone number]
['call them. theyll help']
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER snaps, the card disappearing in a brilliant orage flame. It's not ACTUALLY gone, it's just stored in safe place for now.]
["Who... are you...?"]
[they smile.]
['i am nobody.']
["...I see. Thank you, Odysseus."]
[Clever joke, right?]
[ALEX turns to them, seemingly tired. He blinks, before answering.]
"Oh, uh, yeah. That'd be fine."
"most thanks, child."
[somehow, they speak through whatever soundproof barriers TRUTH and JUSTICE have put up.]
"i see you are tired...how does this job treat you?"
"...I can't complain."
[So, if taken figuratively, that would be positive. If it were taken literally, however... was the wording able to be interpreted two different ways for a reason?]
"...oh, poor thing."
[they seem to get exactly what he means, somehow.]
"..nod if you wish to escape this place, and if they have done things that you dont agree with."
"What do you mean? I absolutely love my job."
[There's a slight bend in his body, as if he were attempting to nod.]
"Besides, even if I wanted to, I can't leave. I'm blocked from traveling outside of this dimension using my powers. I haven't broken the law yet, but apparently, there's certain people with similar powers who have broken the law. It's just a precaution."
"well, that seems rather unjust."
[the prisoner seems to soften up at the 'nod'.]
[they seem to blink rather odd. is...oh! its morse code!]
['tell me what they've done. you needn't speak.']
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER blinks back.]
["Well, they're not OVERTLY evil, but things just. Don't sit right with me. They take away everything that makes the prisoners here unique. Their emotions, their personalities, everything. They want us employees to become apathetic husks as well. It's not exactly EVIL, but it still feels wrong."]
['that, in itself, is evil. I have reason to believe they do more than that, however.']
["...They also psychologically torture their patients via isolation if they don't agree to embrace apathy. I don't want to cross them because I don't want to go through that."]
['oh, child...']
[they reach out, somehow able to pass through the door and grasp ALEX'S hand.]
['after this week, they will not longer partake in such practices. Alex, I will need your testimony, along with others. would that be alright?']
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER freezes at the touch.]
["I'd love to, but... I don't know if I can."]
['you will. trust in me.']
["...Okay. I will."]
['good.']
[they let go. in ALEX's hands is a phone number]
['call them. theyll help']
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER snaps, the card disappearing in a brilliant orage flame. It's not ACTUALLY gone, it's just stored in safe place for now.]
["Who... are you...?"]
[ALEX turns to them, seemingly tired. He blinks, before answering.]
"Oh, uh, yeah. That'd be fine."
"most thanks, child."
[somehow, they speak through whatever soundproof barriers TRUTH and JUSTICE have put up.]
"i see you are tired...how does this job treat you?"
"...I can't complain."
[So, if taken figuratively, that would be positive. If it were taken literally, however... was the wording able to be interpreted two different ways for a reason?]
"...oh, poor thing."
[they seem to get exactly what he means, somehow.]
"..nod if you wish to escape this place, and if they have done things that you dont agree with."
"What do you mean? I absolutely love my job."
[There's a slight bend in his body, as if he were attempting to nod.]
"Besides, even if I wanted to, I can't leave. I'm blocked from traveling outside of this dimension using my powers. I haven't broken the law yet, but apparently, there's certain people with similar powers who have broken the law. It's just a precaution."
"well, that seems rather unjust."
[the prisoner seems to soften up at the 'nod'.]
[they seem to blink rather odd. is...oh! its morse code!]
['tell me what they've done. you needn't speak.']
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER blinks back.]
["Well, they're not OVERTLY evil, but things just. Don't sit right with me. They take away everything that makes the prisoners here unique. Their emotions, their personalities, everything. They want us employees to become apathetic husks as well. It's not exactly EVIL, but it still feels wrong."]
['that, in itself, is evil. I have reason to believe they do more than that, however.']
["...They also psychologically torture their patients via isolation if they don't agree to embrace apathy. I don't want to cross them because I don't want to go through that."]
['oh, child...']
[they reach out, somehow able to pass through the door and grasp ALEX'S hand.]
['after this week, they will not longer partake in such practices. Alex, I will need your testimony, along with others. would that be alright?']
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER freezes at the touch.]
["I'd love to, but... I don't know if I can."]
['you will. trust in me.']
["...Okay. I will."]
[ALEX turns to them, seemingly tired. He blinks, before answering.]
"Oh, uh, yeah. That'd be fine."
"most thanks, child."
[somehow, they speak through whatever soundproof barriers TRUTH and JUSTICE have put up.]
"i see you are tired...how does this job treat you?"
"...I can't complain."
[So, if taken figuratively, that would be positive. If it were taken literally, however... was the wording able to be interpreted two different ways for a reason?]
"...oh, poor thing."
[they seem to get exactly what he means, somehow.]
"..nod if you wish to escape this place, and if they have done things that you dont agree with."
"What do you mean? I absolutely love my job."
[There's a slight bend in his body, as if he were attempting to nod.]
"Besides, even if I wanted to, I can't leave. I'm blocked from traveling outside of this dimension using my powers. I haven't broken the law yet, but apparently, there's certain people with similar powers who have broken the law. It's just a precaution."
"well, that seems rather unjust."
[the prisoner seems to soften up at the 'nod'.]
[they seem to blink rather odd. is...oh! its morse code!]
['tell me what they've done. you needn't speak.']
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER blinks back.]
["Well, they're not OVERTLY evil, but things just. Don't sit right with me. They take away everything that makes the prisoners here unique. Their emotions, their personalities, everything. They want us employees to become apathetic husks as well. It's not exactly EVIL, but it still feels wrong."]
['that, in itself, is evil. I have reason to believe they do more than that, however.']
["...They also psychologically torture their patients via isolation if they don't agree to embrace apathy. I don't want to cross them because I don't want to go through that."]
['oh, child...']
[they reach out, somehow able to pass through the door and grasp ALEX'S hand.]
['after this week, they will not longer partake in such practices. Alex, I will need your testimony, along with others. would that be alright?']
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER freezes at the touch.]
["I'd love to, but... I don't know if I can."]
[ALEX turns to them, seemingly tired. He blinks, before answering.]
"Oh, uh, yeah. That'd be fine."
"most thanks, child."
[somehow, they speak through whatever soundproof barriers TRUTH and JUSTICE have put up.]
"i see you are tired...how does this job treat you?"
"...I can't complain."
[So, if taken figuratively, that would be positive. If it were taken literally, however... was the wording able to be interpreted two different ways for a reason?]
"...oh, poor thing."
[they seem to get exactly what he means, somehow.]
"..nod if you wish to escape this place, and if they have done things that you dont agree with."
"What do you mean? I absolutely love my job."
[There's a slight bend in his body, as if he were attempting to nod.]
"Besides, even if I wanted to, I can't leave. I'm blocked from traveling outside of this dimension using my powers. I haven't broken the law yet, but apparently, there's certain people with similar powers who have broken the law. It's just a precaution."
"well, that seems rather unjust."
[the prisoner seems to soften up at the 'nod'.]
[they seem to blink rather odd. is...oh! its morse code!]
['tell me what they've done. you needn't speak.']
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER blinks back.]
["Well, they're not OVERTLY evil, but things just. Don't sit right with me. They take away everything that makes the prisoners here unique. Their emotions, their personalities, everything. They want us employees to become apathetic husks as well. It's not exactly EVIL, but it still feels wrong."]
['that, in itself, is evil. I have reason to believe they do more than that, however.']
["...They also psychologically torture their patients via isolation if they don't agree to embrace apathy. I don't want to cross them because I don't want to go through that."]
[Once there's a change of guards, the one who's set to watch NESTER's cell next stands out a bit... Wait. Is that a EUCLYDIAN? A Euclydian that's NOT dead? Well, he's a different shape from the typical Euclydian, being vaguely moth-shaped and purple. He seems tired, as if he doesn't want to be here.]
(@alex-wholenumber)
*he lays silently in his cell apart from an occasional quiet whimper of pain. he goes completely silent whe he sees the other Euclydian and stares at him*
[The other Euclydian catches him staring. He furrows his eyebrows, waving awkwardly at NESTER.]
*he lifts one hand and waves back. his wounds have mostly stopped bleeding, but no one has bothered to take the muzzle off of him yet and it looks like it’s crumpling the wings on the back of his triangular head in a very uncomfortable way*
[The Euclydian glances at the muzzle. He debates removing it, but no one has given him any orders to remove the muzzle yet, and if he did and they didn't want him to... Well, he didn't want to become an ACTUAL prisoner here. He worked here, yes, and it DID feel like he was trapped with no way out, but he wasn't a prisoner. He didn't want to risk becoming one, either.]
*he lays back down, whining quietly, and still staring at the Euclydian*
… … who are you?
...Alex. Alex Wholenumber.
[HOLY SHIT HIS VOICE SOUNDS JUST LIKE THE OTHER ALEX???]
*he immediately sits up a lot straighter, eye wide and his wings trying to flutter excitedly despite the muzzle strap preventing them from moving much*
… ALEX??????
...Yeah? That's my name. I just said that.
*leans closer with very intense stare*
why do you have the same name and voice as my son?
"Your... son? I'm probably a variant of him. The multiverse is vast."
*he is starting to notice a lot of similarities between this and that time he was in theraprism*
… … this better not end with some weird lady cutting my eye out and replacing it with a large metal ball
"I... huh?"
… seems very similar to my last visit to a theraprism
"Wait, you've been here before? How have I not met you?"
[Probably because he worked in a different part of the Theraprism.]
yeah i was here when the whole thing was a theraprism, dimensional tyrant ward, got horribly tortured for a coupla months. uhhhhh, well you probably worked in a different ward, is my guess
"Yeah, I never worked in the dimensional tyrant ward. You seem... quite chill for a dimensional tyrant, to be honest."
… i want to be significantly kess chill right now but if it’s anythin like it used to be that would just end with me gettin punished horribly … they might decide to try starving me again … and sibling and harvey are convinced enough already that this form looks rather frail without thattt
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER glances down.]
"As someone who works here, I'm contractually obligated to tell you that this is not how things work and we always treat our patients with kindness and respect."
[...He's unsure about it.]
*he looks suspicious but hopeful*
well i know someone else musta taken over. hope they’re nicer than the one who was in charge of the dimensional tyrant ward when i was in here
"I think I've heard of her. Genevieve, right? Yeah, she's in here. Not as an employee. As a prisoner."
yup! that’s her. well at least i know she’s not wandering around out there somewhere.
…
also starting to wonder if EVERY ward in the old theraprism just had an alex variant working in it
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER shrugs.]
"I dunno. Maybe. I've never met another variant of me in here."
… so far i’ve met two variants and ya’ve both worked in this place … maybe next time i get trapped in here i’ll meet cookie alex
"...Wait. BOISENBERRY MOTH COOKIE IS A VARIANT OF ME???"
WAIT WHAT!? THERE’S ACTUALLY A COOKIE ALEX!? I WAS JUST JOKING ABOUT THAT
"Apparently? I honestly thought he was just. A cookie that sounded like me and was also a moth."
… okay so i adopted the one who was my guard last time does that meam that EVERY variant of you is my son, too?? (-/
"I'm... not sure. Do you want me to be your son?"
… i dunno … i think i might have enough children at the moment …
"Yeah, that's fair. Besides, I'm, like, a god, I think? I don't exactly need parents."
well i’m a god too and i think one of my kids is basically a cookie god. and then alex snd his two siblings. and then whatever hatches out of that egg. the thing shoulda hatched by now if it was gonna, wonder if i’d be allowed to eat it when i get back
"Oof. Yeah. That's... a lot."
yeahhhhh … so probably shouldn’t adopt another one
"Yeah, that's probably for the best."
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER paces around outside the cell, promptly tripping on a rock and letting out a curse in Euclydian. The same Euclydian dialect as NESTER's. What.]
*he immediately sits up straight again, almost hitting his head on the ceiling in his surprise. he responds in that same dialect*
*”I THOUGHT THE SET OF DIMENSIONS I WAS FROM WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT SPOKE THAT DIALECT!”*
*it made a sort of sense to him, his Euclydia was initially meant only as a simulation, it seemed sensible to him that it would be the only one with that dialect*
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER responds in Euclydian.]
"Really? That's interesting. I thought I was the only one who spoke this dialect."
[ALEX turns to them, seemingly tired. He blinks, before answering.]
"Oh, uh, yeah. That'd be fine."
"most thanks, child."
[somehow, they speak through whatever soundproof barriers TRUTH and JUSTICE have put up.]
"i see you are tired...how does this job treat you?"
"...I can't complain."
[So, if taken figuratively, that would be positive. If it were taken literally, however... was the wording able to be interpreted two different ways for a reason?]
"...oh, poor thing."
[they seem to get exactly what he means, somehow.]
"..nod if you wish to escape this place, and if they have done things that you dont agree with."
"What do you mean? I absolutely love my job."
[There's a slight bend in his body, as if he were attempting to nod.]
"Besides, even if I wanted to, I can't leave. I'm blocked from traveling outside of this dimension using my powers. I haven't broken the law yet, but apparently, there's certain people with similar powers who have broken the law. It's just a precaution."
"well, that seems rather unjust."
[the prisoner seems to soften up at the 'nod'.]
[they seem to blink rather odd. is...oh! its morse code!]
['tell me what they've done. you needn't speak.']
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER blinks back.]
["Well, they're not OVERTLY evil, but things just. Don't sit right with me. They take away everything that makes the prisoners here unique. Their emotions, their personalities, everything. They want us employees to become apathetic husks as well. It's not exactly EVIL, but it still feels wrong."]
[ALEX turns to them, seemingly tired. He blinks, before answering.]
"Oh, uh, yeah. That'd be fine."
"most thanks, child."
[somehow, they speak through whatever soundproof barriers TRUTH and JUSTICE have put up.]
"i see you are tired...how does this job treat you?"
"...I can't complain."
[So, if taken figuratively, that would be positive. If it were taken literally, however... was the wording able to be interpreted two different ways for a reason?]
"...oh, poor thing."
[they seem to get exactly what he means, somehow.]
"..nod if you wish to escape this place, and if they have done things that you dont agree with."
"What do you mean? I absolutely love my job."
[There's a slight bend in his body, as if he were attempting to nod.]
"Besides, even if I wanted to, I can't leave. I'm blocked from traveling outside of this dimension using my powers. I haven't broken the law yet, but apparently, there's certain people with similar powers who have broken the law. It's just a precaution."
[ALEX turns to them, seemingly tired. He blinks, before answering.]
"Oh, uh, yeah. That'd be fine."
"most thanks, child."
[somehow, they speak through whatever soundproof barriers TRUTH and JUSTICE have put up.]
"i see you are tired...how does this job treat you?"
"...I can't complain."
[So, if taken figuratively, that would be positive. If it were taken literally, however... was the wording able to be interpreted two different ways for a reason?]
[Once there's a change of guards, the one who's set to watch NESTER's cell next stands out a bit... Wait. Is that a EUCLYDIAN? A Euclydian that's NOT dead? Well, he's a different shape from the typical Euclydian, being vaguely moth-shaped and purple. He seems tired, as if he doesn't want to be here.]
(@alex-wholenumber)
*he lays silently in his cell apart from an occasional quiet whimper of pain. he goes completely silent whe he sees the other Euclydian and stares at him*
[The other Euclydian catches him staring. He furrows his eyebrows, waving awkwardly at NESTER.]
*he lifts one hand and waves back. his wounds have mostly stopped bleeding, but no one has bothered to take the muzzle off of him yet and it looks like it’s crumpling the wings on the back of his triangular head in a very uncomfortable way*
[The Euclydian glances at the muzzle. He debates removing it, but no one has given him any orders to remove the muzzle yet, and if he did and they didn't want him to... Well, he didn't want to become an ACTUAL prisoner here. He worked here, yes, and it DID feel like he was trapped with no way out, but he wasn't a prisoner. He didn't want to risk becoming one, either.]
*he lays back down, whining quietly, and still staring at the Euclydian*
… … who are you?
...Alex. Alex Wholenumber.
[HOLY SHIT HIS VOICE SOUNDS JUST LIKE THE OTHER ALEX???]
*he immediately sits up a lot straighter, eye wide and his wings trying to flutter excitedly despite the muzzle strap preventing them from moving much*
… ALEX??????
...Yeah? That's my name. I just said that.
*leans closer with very intense stare*
why do you have the same name and voice as my son?
"Your... son? I'm probably a variant of him. The multiverse is vast."
*he is starting to notice a lot of similarities between this and that time he was in theraprism*
… … this better not end with some weird lady cutting my eye out and replacing it with a large metal ball
"I... huh?"
… seems very similar to my last visit to a theraprism
"Wait, you've been here before? How have I not met you?"
[Probably because he worked in a different part of the Theraprism.]
yeah i was here when the whole thing was a theraprism, dimensional tyrant ward, got horribly tortured for a coupla months. uhhhhh, well you probably worked in a different ward, is my guess
"Yeah, I never worked in the dimensional tyrant ward. You seem... quite chill for a dimensional tyrant, to be honest."
… i want to be significantly kess chill right now but if it’s anythin like it used to be that would just end with me gettin punished horribly … they might decide to try starving me again … and sibling and harvey are convinced enough already that this form looks rather frail without thattt
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER glances down.]
"As someone who works here, I'm contractually obligated to tell you that this is not how things work and we always treat our patients with kindness and respect."
[...He's unsure about it.]
*he looks suspicious but hopeful*
well i know someone else musta taken over. hope they’re nicer than the one who was in charge of the dimensional tyrant ward when i was in here
"I think I've heard of her. Genevieve, right? Yeah, she's in here. Not as an employee. As a prisoner."
yup! that’s her. well at least i know she’s not wandering around out there somewhere.
…
also starting to wonder if EVERY ward in the old theraprism just had an alex variant working in it
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER shrugs.]
"I dunno. Maybe. I've never met another variant of me in here."
… so far i’ve met two variants and ya’ve both worked in this place … maybe next time i get trapped in here i’ll meet cookie alex
"...Wait. BOISENBERRY MOTH COOKIE IS A VARIANT OF ME???"
WAIT WHAT!? THERE’S ACTUALLY A COOKIE ALEX!? I WAS JUST JOKING ABOUT THAT
"Apparently? I honestly thought he was just. A cookie that sounded like me and was also a moth."
… okay so i adopted the one who was my guard last time does that meam that EVERY variant of you is my son, too?? (-/
"I'm... not sure. Do you want me to be your son?"
… i dunno … i think i might have enough children at the moment …
"Yeah, that's fair. Besides, I'm, like, a god, I think? I don't exactly need parents."
well i’m a god too and i think one of my kids is basically a cookie god. and then alex snd his two siblings. and then whatever hatches out of that egg. the thing shoulda hatched by now if it was gonna, wonder if i’d be allowed to eat it when i get back
"Oof. Yeah. That's... a lot."
yeahhhhh … so probably shouldn’t adopt another one
"Yeah, that's probably for the best."
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER paces around outside the cell, promptly tripping on a rock and letting out a curse in Euclydian. The same Euclydian dialect as NESTER's. What.]
[ALEX turns to them, seemingly tired. He blinks, before answering.]
"Oh, uh, yeah. That'd be fine."
[Once there's a change of guards, the one who's set to watch NESTER's cell next stands out a bit... Wait. Is that a EUCLYDIAN? A Euclydian that's NOT dead? Well, he's a different shape from the typical Euclydian, being vaguely moth-shaped and purple. He seems tired, as if he doesn't want to be here.]
(@alex-wholenumber)
*he lays silently in his cell apart from an occasional quiet whimper of pain. he goes completely silent whe he sees the other Euclydian and stares at him*
[The other Euclydian catches him staring. He furrows his eyebrows, waving awkwardly at NESTER.]
*he lifts one hand and waves back. his wounds have mostly stopped bleeding, but no one has bothered to take the muzzle off of him yet and it looks like it’s crumpling the wings on the back of his triangular head in a very uncomfortable way*
[The Euclydian glances at the muzzle. He debates removing it, but no one has given him any orders to remove the muzzle yet, and if he did and they didn't want him to... Well, he didn't want to become an ACTUAL prisoner here. He worked here, yes, and it DID feel like he was trapped with no way out, but he wasn't a prisoner. He didn't want to risk becoming one, either.]
*he lays back down, whining quietly, and still staring at the Euclydian*
… … who are you?
...Alex. Alex Wholenumber.
[HOLY SHIT HIS VOICE SOUNDS JUST LIKE THE OTHER ALEX???]
*he immediately sits up a lot straighter, eye wide and his wings trying to flutter excitedly despite the muzzle strap preventing them from moving much*
… ALEX??????
...Yeah? That's my name. I just said that.
*leans closer with very intense stare*
why do you have the same name and voice as my son?
"Your... son? I'm probably a variant of him. The multiverse is vast."
*he is starting to notice a lot of similarities between this and that time he was in theraprism*
… … this better not end with some weird lady cutting my eye out and replacing it with a large metal ball
"I... huh?"
… seems very similar to my last visit to a theraprism
"Wait, you've been here before? How have I not met you?"
[Probably because he worked in a different part of the Theraprism.]
yeah i was here when the whole thing was a theraprism, dimensional tyrant ward, got horribly tortured for a coupla months. uhhhhh, well you probably worked in a different ward, is my guess
"Yeah, I never worked in the dimensional tyrant ward. You seem... quite chill for a dimensional tyrant, to be honest."
… i want to be significantly kess chill right now but if it’s anythin like it used to be that would just end with me gettin punished horribly … they might decide to try starving me again … and sibling and harvey are convinced enough already that this form looks rather frail without thattt
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER glances down.]
"As someone who works here, I'm contractually obligated to tell you that this is not how things work and we always treat our patients with kindness and respect."
[...He's unsure about it.]
*he looks suspicious but hopeful*
well i know someone else musta taken over. hope they’re nicer than the one who was in charge of the dimensional tyrant ward when i was in here
"I think I've heard of her. Genevieve, right? Yeah, she's in here. Not as an employee. As a prisoner."
yup! that’s her. well at least i know she’s not wandering around out there somewhere.
…
also starting to wonder if EVERY ward in the old theraprism just had an alex variant working in it
[ALEX-WHOLENUMBER shrugs.]
"I dunno. Maybe. I've never met another variant of me in here."
… so far i’ve met two variants and ya’ve both worked in this place … maybe next time i get trapped in here i’ll meet cookie alex
"...Wait. BOISENBERRY MOTH COOKIE IS A VARIANT OF ME???"
WAIT WHAT!? THERE’S ACTUALLY A COOKIE ALEX!? I WAS JUST JOKING ABOUT THAT
"Apparently? I honestly thought he was just. A cookie that sounded like me and was also a moth."
… okay so i adopted the one who was my guard last time does that meam that EVERY variant of you is my son, too?? (-/
"I'm... not sure. Do you want me to be your son?"
… i dunno … i think i might have enough children at the moment …
"Yeah, that's fair. Besides, I'm, like, a god, I think? I don't exactly need parents."
well i’m a god too and i think one of my kids is basically a cookie god. and then alex snd his two siblings. and then whatever hatches out of that egg. the thing shoulda hatched by now if it was gonna, wonder if i’d be allowed to eat it when i get back
"Oof. Yeah. That's... a lot."
