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@thegreatjaspy: Bloody hell, mate. @thegreatjaspy: What are you thanking me for again?

shark vs the universe

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Acquired Stardust
Sade Olutola

Discoholic đȘ©
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Claire Keane

ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation
we're not kids anymore.
d e v o n
Jules of Nature
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
wallacepolsom
trying on a metaphor

romaâ

@theartofmadeline
hello vonnie
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@amidsummernightswoolf
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@thegreatjaspy: Bloody hell, mate. @thegreatjaspy: What are you thanking me for again?
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@thegreatjaspy: Absolutely second this motion, mate. Us Brits don't do sunshine!
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@thegreatjaspy: Proud of ya! The weekend's almost here mate, you've got this.
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Concrete jungle wet dream tomato
@thegreatjaspy: Lovely photo, mate. Great smile!
âI only didnât like her because I rather thought you could do far better, love,â Benji pressed. âAnd I still do.â
He wondered just how much Jasper had hidden from him regarding the true nature of his relationship with Charlotte, about just how awful it had been. Benji wouldnât be shocked to hear that there had been very little happy moments shared between them, but it would fill him with a sense of disappointment anyway, knowing that his best friend had endured such a long period of time attached to someone who didnât know a good thing when they had it.
Benji knew the basics of just what an utter hellion Charlotte was, but it had taken Jasper a while to allow himself to be encouraged into talking badly about her. The other man, perpetually sweet as honey, often downplayed the negative things that affected him, pocketing his own feelings away neatly so as not to impose on anyone else. Benji only hoped he hadnât squirrelled away information about Charlotte to suit Benjiâs temperament. Itâs not like it would have made much of a difference; heâd never liked the woman, and never would. Anyone who put a frown on his dearest friendâs face was never in the running for companionship as far as Benji was concerned.
He narrowed his eyes at Jasperâs further explanation, still perched on the edge of the other manâs desk as his fingers gently massaged Jasperâs scalp.
âSo she was⊠jealous? Of us?â he said eventually. Benji tilted his head to the side, considering this.
Of course, he and Jasper had always been close. Neither of them subscribed to the toxic ideals that shadowed the friendships of all the other men they knew. It had been that way from the start, Jasper and Ben, side by side, always open and loud about how much they adored each other. Benjamin Kent was a man who loved unabashedly. He would never dream of hiding just how devoted he was to Jasper, and he supposed, to some people, that might paint their friendship in a rather odd light.
âIt sounds to me like she was just a tad insecure,â he pointed out, a smirk playing on his lips. Now who was downplaying the situation? Teasingly, he continued.
âShe just couldnât cope with the fact that no matter how much she loved you, I would always love you more, hm? Sorry to say, old chap, but a woman like Charlotte just isnât built for that level of competition, you know.â
A part of him wanted to genuinely say sorry. Again. But he stopped himself. He didnât think he could ever bring himself to apologise for how much he loved his friend. Yes, he hated that it had been such a point of contention between Jasper and Charlotte, but if the alternative was to put some distance between himself and his best friend in the world, then selfishly Benji was rather glad that Charlotte had bowed out.
Edging closer across Jasperâs desk, his thumb brushed the shell of the other manâs ear.
âYou know the right person isnât going to be bothered by anything like that, right? Friendship canât be such a foreign concept to everyone. Youâre going to meet someone who loves you so entirely, theyâll just have to make room for me and my tea collection as well,â he joked, although that was exactly what he wanted in a partner for Jasper, someone who loved the man wholly and wasnât threatened by Benji being ever-present in his life.
Leaning forward, he used his grip in Jasperâs hair to tug the other man forward so he could press a kiss to his forehead.
âI love you, poppet.â
There was something incredibly satisfying, while also deeply devastating, about the feeling of Benjaminâs nails grazing Jasperâs scalp. As the other manâs fingers moved deftly through his hair, Jasper felt another pathetic, overwhelming urge to lean further into the touch and nuzzle against his palm. The two of them were already as close as could be and, quite honestly, Jasper was no stranger to hiding himself away in the safety of his best friendâs affection, but he doubted his classroom was an appropriate place for such displays. The last thing he needed was for Whitney or Langdon or Tucker to come stumbling into the room, take one look at the two of them tangled together and assume they were up to no good. Jasperâs position at the school was currently only temporary, but he certainly didnât want to tarnish Benjaminâs reputation on account of his silly little crush.Â
A wry laugh caught in Jasperâs throat at his best friendâs words and the sheer irony of them. Benjamin had hit the nail right on the head, and he had absolutely no clue. Charlotteâs problem with the two of them had been exactly that; She had spotted Jasperâs feelings for his best friend from a mile away, and knew sheâd never be able to compete for his affections. What she hadnât known was that even if Jasperâs feelings were wholly platonic, she still wouldnât have been very high in the running on account of the fact that she wasnât a very nice person. All the same, sheâd been really quite sour over the closeness of their friendship.Â
âYes, well. Itâs quite her own problem if she wants to believe youâre madly in love with me and were just waiting for your chance to whisk me away,â he joked, if you could even call it that. It fell flat even to his own ears, and he was quite grateful that his face was tucked away, angled towards Benjaminâs chest while the other man caressed his scalp, so as not to expose the blatant wince that had crossed his features. Surely jokes were only funny when they werenât soaked in the bitter truth.Â
He sighed, lifting his head slowly as he felt Benjaminâs fingers brush the underside of the ear and suppressed the shiver that threatened to run loose down his spine. He thought his heart might explode right out of his chest if the other man came any closer, yet it didnât seem to stop him. His bottom was sliding smoothly across his desk as he tightened his hold on Jasper, his words earnest and true as he reassured him of his worth and his right to be loved. If only he could take that sentiment and fold it into the depths of his own heart, shaping it into a love they could share without intrusion.Â
Jasperâs eyes fluttered shut as he felt Benjiâs lips press against his skin, and he quietly savoured the moment before they broke apart. Benji had always been generous with his kisses, bestowing them along every inch of Jasperâs face over the course of their friendship, always falling just shy of his lips. He supposed he should be grateful for what little he did get, as any amount of Benjamin Kent in his life was more than he could possibly deserve.Â
âI love you too, honey,â he insisted, though it rung true in a completely different way.Â
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Third wheelinâ like you no wouldnât believe right now
@thegreatjaspy: Ah, ain't this just the sweetest. What a picture!
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Children people keeple dying
@thegreatjaspy: I feel like I'm missing something, but that burger looks delicious!
âłINSTAGRAM:Â @kaitucker uploaded a photo:
This is our third time this morning watching this while her old man is in Philly. Asked if we could switch to Tarzan and she threw her Berlioz stuffie at my head wtf do you plan on doing about this @carolandandclover?
@thegreatjaspy: Try her on the Fox and the Hound, mate! Always a winner.
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Addie and I spent the day picking flowers for the future Silly wedding. How do we feel about Spring, @billymchale?
@thegreatjaspy: Very cute. You didn't strike me as the wedding type.
Benjiâs lips curved upwards as Jasper gently kissed the palm of his hand, which continued to act as a tiny chair for the other manâs chin to sit comfortably in. It had always been so natural and easy with Jasper, that at that moment, in the middle of Calahanâs office as the two men carved out a pocket of time for themselves in the middle of an otherwise busy work day, Benji made a note to make sure his best friend knew he wasnât taken for granted. Surely Jasper already knew that, but Benji would be utterly appalled to discover he thought anything other than that, and heâd like to reinforce Jasperâs importance in his life as much as he could.
âSo you are getting some,â Benji teased with a grin. He was pleased that Jasper wasnât as buttoned-up as Benji had presumed him to be.
For two men who were the best of friends, Benji supposed that was one thing the two of them rarely spoke about: their sex lives. True, Jasper had been with Charlotte for a good long while that Benji simply knew who his friend was sleeping with. And although Benji himself - and he knew it sounded dreadfully boastful - was hardly lacking in partners, he didnât talk to Jasper much about it.
On the few occasions that he had, after one particularly comical morning when Jasper had walked in on Benji in a rather compromising position with Kim on his sofa, it seemed like Jasper would rather talk about anything but. He would blush, turning an absolutely delightful shade of crimson, and as much as Benji thought it fun to poke at his friend just to hear that shy little laugh he was so fond of, he didnât want to steer Jasper into territory that made him uncomfortable.
So these days, they rarely talked about who they did and didnât sleep with. Benji had been rather fearful that Jasper hadnât been with anyone since Charlotte, so it was mildly reassuring to know his friend was getting some sort of release. Although he was a little curious about the where and the who. Sue him for being nosey!
He tilted his head to the side as Jasper leaned away from him, wondering if he had spoken out of turn by bringing up Charlotte. At Jasperâs quiet revelation though, his eyes widened in surprise.
âWhat?â he breathed.
Of course, it was no surprise at all to discover that Charlotte had never liked Benji. That had been apparent from the off. He had tried the best he could to be perfectly pleasant to the other woman who, upon meeting him, had narrowed his eyes as soon as she heard his name, said, âOh. Benji.â like she was reading the name of a particularly nasty and incurable disease, and had turned her attention away from him and onto Jasper, pointedly gluing herself to his best friendâs side with a possessive hand in his hair.
He had no idea what it was about him that she had taken such an offense to, but heâd ploughed through each and every interaction with Charlotte with steel-toed determination to make it out the other side without argument. Not because he particularly wanted to be her friend, but because he didnât want to make things difficult for Jasper.
To hear that he hadnât quite managed that was a shock to the system and he felt his shoulders drop at once.
âBloody hell. I knew she didnât like me, but⊠She broke up with you because of me?â He was appalled. Heâd simply thought that the two of them had realised they werenât well-matched for each other, and that Jasper had come to his senses and now knew he could do much better than Charlotte. Now he was hearing that it wasnât even his friendâs choice.
âJas,â he admonished quietly, slipping a hand into the other manâs hair and frowning. âIf I had known I would have tried harder with her. Or⊠I donât know. Apologised for whatever it was I did to offend her.â
Every so often, there came a time where Jasper wondered if Benjamin secretly knew. It seemed preposterous, but he couldnât help but ponder. His best friend was a cuddly man, always on hand with a cuddle on a cold day or a kiss to Jasperâs cheek. He had no reservations about running his hands through Jasperâs beard when it got a little on the long side, and he always seemed perfectly content in showering him in compliments. It felt, at times, as though he was trying to goad him into a reaction. Like he knew how strongly Jasper felt for him, and if he pushed the right buttons he might coax him out of his shell enough to encourage an admission of sorts.Â
Then, on days like today, it became painfully clear that Benji was the most clueless man in the world and hadnât the foggiest about Jasperâs feelings.Â
Admitting that Charlotte had broken up with him because of Benji had, admittedly, been a risky move on Jasperâs part. His ex-girlfriend had caught wind of his feelings for Benjamin long before heâd even admitted them to himself, so it was of no real surprise when their relationship had come crashing to a halt. Not that it overly mattered. Reflecting back on their time together, sheâd never been especially good for him. She was cruel and demanding, always taking the time to put Jasper down and belittle his feelings and interests. Sheâd been emotionally abusive at the bare minimum, and heâd simply stuck his head in the sand and ignored it. Still, not even the revelation that he had been the catalyst for their breakup had been enough to make Benji understand. Perhaps that was for the best.Â
âYes, well. You didnât exactly like her, so you donât need to look so horrified,â he lightly teased.Â
Benjamin had always been civil with Charlotte, even when she hadnât deserved his kindness. But heâd comforted Jasper on endless occasions after various arguments, and had been the first person heâd turned to after theyâd split. Only then had he allowed himself to unleash the full scope of his feelings about the woman, and Jasper had sheepishly allowed his best friend to let rip, knowing that he had no real loyalty to her to begin with. Sometimes, he wondered if heâd have broken up with her himself had Benji simply asked him to.Â
Jasperâs eyes fluttered shut momentarily as he felt Benjiâs fingers slide into his hair, finding comfort in the other manâs touch. His stomach seemed to flip at the sensation, and he happily nuzzled closer as he sought out the other manâs gaze. He was like a pathetic, needy little puppy.Â
âYou didnât have anything to apologise for, love. She didnât... It wasnât what youâd done,â he sighed, searching for the right words. He was treading dangerously here. âShe was just jealous, mate. Of us, of our... She thought we spent too much time together.âÂ
His eyes found Benji's and he blushed, the word jealous still ringing in the back of his mind.
Ariadne's teeth sank into her bottom lip, a silent retort to his no biting comment. It was desperately unfair how much he made it sound like a challenge, rather than a warning. Or was she simply reading into that?
"Best behavior. Promise." she stated, lazily crossing herself, the way she'd seen people do on television or read about in books.
The noise from the party felt as though it had dulled significantly in the time she'd been standing in the garden with Jasper. Maybe it was the acidic taste of lime still heavy on her tongue, or the quiet, earnest way he was speaking to her. Everything but him felt blurry and inconsequential, Jasper standing in front of her in his ridiculous Paddington Bear costume, all soft edges and sincere looks. Her eyes widened at his insistence, her tottering forward in her heels a little as she leaned closer.
"I just thought..." she trailed off, unsure how to end her sentence.
It was true, Jasper didn't hang around at the end of class to flirt via Sylvia Plath references, nor did he respond to her tipsy late-night texts insisting he came out for drinks. But he had never suggested she couldn't talk to him at all. The problem with Ariadne is she didn't know how to not come on too strong, how to turn off the brazen flirting, the parts he had a problem with.
"I thought you didn't want to be friends anymore, that's all."
She lifted her shoulders in a gentle shrug, looking up at Jasper from beneath her eyelashes - thick and wet, with clumps of mascara drying in them. She helped cup her hands around the flame, shielding it from the nonexistant wind as Jasper lit her cigarette, taking a quick drag and trying not to exhale directly in his face.
"Had a bit of a falling out with my best friend, well, sort of... my ex-girlfriend." she mumbled, gesturing with her cigarette. "It's all fine now, just... not feeling particularly Halloween-y."
She smiled, feeling goosebumps rise up on her skin where he touched her, huddling in closer despite herself.
"This is nice. Worth the sniffles." she insisted, "I didn't expect to see you here."
Whatever awkwardness might have stemmed from their situation, Jasper felt it immediately dissolve into something else, something much more pitiful, when he heard what Ariadne had to say. A wave of guilt washed over him almost immediately, his chest aching at the reality of how heâd made the woman across from him feel. His features softened as he looked across at her, taking in the nonchalant way that she shrugged her shoulders, immediately redirecting her attention to the cigarette she had in hand instead.Â
âIâm sorry I made you feel that way,â Jasper breathed. He took care to meet her gaze, wanting her to know his apologies were sincere. He hadnât meant to be so careless with her feelings. âIâd bloody love it if we could still be mates.âÂ
The two of them stood in the cold, Jasper with one hand now tucked into the pocket of his â admittedly ridiculous â duffle coat as Ariadne took long, slow drags of her cigarette, his other hand gently soothing the cold expanse of her forearm. She was notably cold to touch, and he almost wondered if the chivalrous thing to do would be to give her his coat. The sentiment was soon lost in the back of his mind, however, when it occurred to him she wouldnât accept it. Not only was Jasper positive that Ariadne would declare that it didnât go with her outfit, but he was certain that â much like Benji â she'd happily freeze to death if it meant getting to see Jasper look like a total fool in his silly outfit.Â
Jasper didnât bother to hide the look of surprise on his face at Ariadneâs admission. For some reason, it came as a shock to him that Ariadne had any exes of note. She was a beautiful girl, of course, and he had no doubt sheâd broken a few hearts in her time. But heâd always gotten the impression from her that she didnât do dating, so to hear of an ex-girlfriend that might still be in the picture was certainly a twist.Â
âWhat happened, love? Still hung up on her?â he mused, feeling particularly nosy.Â
It wasnât in his nature to pry in other peopleâs love lives â that was more Benjaminâs area of expertise than his own â but he wanted to prove to Ariadne that he was still happy to be her friend. And, from his experience, this was the sort of thing that friends talked about. Benjamin loved to hear about Jasperâs non-existent love life, even if Jasper loathed to hear about the other manâs... encounters.Â
âYeah, well. Benji loves a party, and he was probably tired of his best mate being a big olâ bore... Not that Iâve seen him in a few hours,â Jasper grimaced, remembering that heâd last seen Benji with his tongue down Kimayaâs throat several hours too early.Â
He offered Ariadne a polite smile as she shuffled in closer to him, seemingly trying to leech off of his warmth. He didnât mind, and he wrapped a careful arm around her shoulders as he tugged her in a little closer, careful to dodge the fresh cloud of smoke. âCâmere, you.âÂ
The final few students filtered out behind Ariadne, the ones who'd hung back to get an eyeful of their, frankly, extremely dishy professor. There were a few of course who regarded her with looks of sheer judgement, noses upturned as they watched Ariadne lean over their professor's desk. She tried her best to ignore the eyes she felt boring into the back of her head, instead throwing a small smile Jasper's way. She knew she had a reputation at their little college as being somewhat of a slut, hanging back behind class to ask polite and probing questions about her professors and their wives. The rumour mill never did take a fucking day off.
"Well, technically, you did a wonderful job." she insisted, perching her bum on the edge of his desk. Her nails tip-tapped against the wood as she searched back through her previous conversations with Jasper, wondering if he'd dropped his profession into casual conversation and she'd merely missed it. She'd assumed he was a pianist by trade, and perhaps he'd let her believe it. Then again, he had no reason to lie. She'd led him to believe she was first and foremost an actress.
"One of his students finally gave him a shove down the stairs, hm?" she teased, her legs swinging off the edge of the desk. Calahan wasn't a bad old goat, really. Just snobby and uptight and harsh when it came to grading. And nothing to look at, not like Jasper.
She let out a bark of laughter, straightening up as she raised an eyebrow at him. So, he was still doing that awkward flirting thing with her, that was promising. Or should she think of it as a lighthearted brush off?
"Such a shame I never sent something more risqué." she drawled, looking at the desk rather than the man sitting across from her. Their texts had been very PG, lighthearted banter and yes - one too many texts about Chaucer. She thought she'd been playing a very delicate game, that eventually the silly little back and forth would tip over into something slightly more hot and heavy.
"And here I was thinking you fancied me." she tutted, lifting a pencil from his desk and shoving it through her tousled up-do, holding fast in her hair. "Guess there's nothing to be done about that now."
Ariadne was being very distracting. Not that Jasper had been looking at her in any way that might be deemed inappropriate, but it was hard not to find himself staring across at her, perched on the desk as she was. Her long, perfectly manicured nails were tip-tapping into the wood of his desk. He wondered absently if it was a nervous tic, or if she was simply trying to unsettle him. Maybe she was doing it just to do it. Not that it mattered, but it was easier for Jasper to focus on trivial things such as nails on his desk than the fact that she was leaning her body towards his as she spoke, the pale expanse of her thighs exposed beneath her skirt as the fabric pushed up against her desk.Â
There was nothing inappropriate happening, nor would there ever be. Yet, Jasper couldnât help but think that if somebody walked in right now, it might look a little... untoward. He fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat, tugging nervously at the lapel of his suit. He wondered if it was warm in here, or if that was just him?Â
âAriadne,â Jasper warned, gently.Â
He shook his head as a fond, albeit thin, smile worked its way onto his lips. Heâd be lying if he said he hadnât heard the mutterings about Calahan. There were many of his colleagues who had spoken ill of the other man, as well as his own students. Jasper liked to think he was a non-judgmental person, and he hadnât known the other professor nearly well enough to be making harsh assessments of his overall character. Still, the smile had slipped out now, and he ducked his head in avoidance of it.Â
It was just as well, as his cheeks immediately flushed under the blondeâs words. He shook his head, not for the first time, and avoided her gaze. Heâd walked himself right into that one, of course, but it would obviously take Ariadne to immediately jump straight into dirty jokes and teasing. He said nothing in return, not wanting to encourage her. He was quite pleased she hadnât sent him anything risquĂ©. As beautiful as Ariadne Halliday was, he wasnât sure heâd be able to talk him out of their current predicament if either of them had ever acted upon her flirtations, or followed up on them.Â
âWell, I am sorry if I gave you any false impressions,â Jasper apologised, sincerely. Â
The truth was, he had found her quite lovely and enjoyed talking to her enormously. He wasnât daft enough that heâd missed the cues or been totally oblivious to her flirting, but thatâs all it had been. Jasper was in no position to be dating right now, and he hoped heâd never given her the allusion that he was. Sometimes, all he sought was great conversation with a good friend.Â
âI would still very much like to stay friends, in whatever capacity youâll have me,â Jasper admitted. He knew it was a risky move, to even go down that line of thinking. It wasnât that he thought there was anything wrong with the two of them remaining in contact â they were both adults, after all â but he knew how easily student/teacher relations could be misconstrued. The last thing he wanted was for Ariadne to get a poor reputation based off of an inaccurate assumption or an assassination of her character.Â
He watched, curiously, as she nabbed his pencil from his desk and pushed it into her hair. There it was again, that same fond smile of his. Trust Ariadne to turn a pencil case into a fashion statement.Â
âAnd Iâll be having that back, thank you,â he laughed. Reaching up, he pinched the pencil from her blonde locks and dropped it back down onto his desk. A few strands fell free, framing her face. Carefully, he lifted his hand again to brush the hair from her cheek, tucking it neatly behind her ear as his fingers brushed her jaw. He cleared his throat, smiling apologetically. âSorry.âÂ
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Teaching the kiddo how to start issues and cause problems. Anyway @ Livvy and Fred if you see this before you walk into the living room we need new curtains. And a curtain rail. And couch cushion.
@thegreatjaspy: Do you need someone to help you shop? Iâm free all weekend, mate!
Are you pining for anyone right now? Who's on your radar?
Pine is such an inept word to describe whatever I go through. It's more like... detatched daydreaming, followed by slight yearning, followed by a week of non-stop masturbation to get the person out of my system. If they're still there after a thorough detox, they've won.
I think you missed half the question, love.
Sorry, did you want me to name names?
Hey! Don't look at me. It's honesty hour. Rules are rules, and they asked you a question, mate!
Are you pining for anyone right now? Who's on your radar?
Pine is such an inept word to describe whatever I go through. It's more like... detatched daydreaming, followed by slight yearning, followed by a week of non-stop masturbation to get the person out of my system. If they're still there after a thorough detox, they've won.
I think you missed half the question, love.
favorite thing about benji?
Bloody hell, here we go. Everything? He's my best pal. I wouldn't be in New York if he wasn't here too. I dunno. There's a lot to love about Benji, but if I had to pick one thing? His love. He's a big bloody softy at the end of the day. Getting a cuddle off of Benji after a hard day almost makes it all worth it, ya know? He's a good bloody mate and he's always making me feel better when shit hits the fan or I start missing mum.
Fuck, Marry, Kill (colleague edition): Jasper, Benji, Avery
I can't wait for my HR meetin' on Monday after this. Especially 'cause some people ain't gonna like what I have to say.
First off, Kill Benji. I'm allergic to honey and he has that stuff comin' outta his ears. Better kill him before he kills me, y'know? I'd Marry Jasper, 'cause like... Jasper. Who wouldn't wanna make an honest man outta that guy, all wrapped up in tweed?
And Fuck - well! Guess that leaves the man of the hour! But if I speak, I'm definitely gettin' my teaching license revoked for harassment.
Aw, blimey. You're making me blush! This is too bloody sweet. Well, not the rest of it so much. I dunno if I could marry ya if you kill my best mate, but if you're on your best behaviour we can go ring shopping next week.
Love ya.