(wc: 4.6k, reader uses she/her pronouns, heavy angst with a happy ending, steve is the most supportive best friend anyone could ask for, basically one big gay comfort fic)
sitting on the couch in eddie munson's trailer felt like the perfect way to spend your friday night. you were the first to arrive, soon followed by an exhausted looking steve with a hyper dustin swinging from his arm. the room was bustling with voices as eddie and dustin tried (and failed) to explain the entire lore of lord of the rings. you wanted to pay attention, truly, but your mind was elsewhere entirely.
"hey, are you even listening?" dustin called out to you. "this is important stuff we're talking about here!"
"hmm? sorry, yeah, i'm listening." you fibbed, silently crossing your fingers in hopes that they would believe you and not press the subject any further.
"what did i just say?" dustin continued, playfully pushing your buttons. you couldn't be mad at the kid, really. you just weren't in the mood today.
"something about mordor? sauron?" you winced, knowing full well that you weren't paying any attention at all. dustin just rolled his eyes dramatically and went back to regaling the group about the downfall of sméagol and the crippling power of the one ring. you hoped no one would notice the bothered look in your eyes, but as always, steve harrington could be counted upon.
not wanting to draw attention to you, steve quietly crossed the room to sit beside you on the couch, nudging you with his elbow and meeting your distant gaze.
"hey, you good?" he asked, trying not to show the concern etched into his features.
"fine. perfect. i am a-okay, harrington." you quipped, hoping your point would get across with as little effort from you as possible. steve wasn't buying it.
"come on. you know you can talk to me." he sounded so genuine that it almost made your heart sink. "you do know that, right?"
"of course." you pondered for a moment, deciding to just let it go for the time being. his brows were still tight with worry, so you gave him a small smile. "thanks, steve."
he gave you a quick pat on the back before getting up and walking over to the fridge to grab himself a water. he made his way back into the living room and returned to his seat beside dustin, opting to give you the space he could tell you needed.
several minutes passed, and the conversation between the boys had all but died down. eddie looked up at the clock, noticing how late it was, and spoke up.
"hey, weren't nancy and robin supposed to come over, too?" eddie questioned, looking over at steve before turning his gaze to you. your heart skipped a beat at the mention of her name. you tried your best to calm your nerves before simply shrugging your shoulders.
"yeah, nance said they might be running late today. something about taking mike and will to the arcade and making sure they get home alright. they should be here soon." steve answered. you couldn't help but feel your heart race at the thought of the empty void on the couch next to you finally being filled by your favorite person. dustin's ears had also perked up, and a mischievous grin made its way onto his face.
"oh, robin's coming over?" he dragged out her name and raised his eyebrows at steve, nudging him harshly with his elbow. "how do you feel about that, steve?" in return, steve looked at dustin with an absolutely bewildered look on his face. you felt yourself look up at them before you could even tell your eyes to move.
"i mean yeah, robin's coming. so is nancy." steve replied, confusion taking up every inch of his face. "why do you ask?" meanwhile, you felt dread settle into your bones.
"steve, man, when are you gonna man up and ask her out?" dustin sighed loudly, clearly exasperated. there it was. you felt your heart sink down into your stomach, making you feel uneasy. steve just groaned.
"dustin, how many times do i have to tell you that robin and i are just friends?" steve said flatly. "she and i are platonic with a capital p!" dustin wasn't believing a single word coming out of steve's mouth.
"robin is in love with steve, i just know it!" dustin jumped up and declared, and you felt your entire soul leave your body. steve rolled his eyes and threw his head back in defeat, while eddie interjected in an attempt to calm the boy down.
"alright, let's lay off harrington for now, okay?" eddie said, pulling dustin back down to sit on the couch across from you. dustin just grumbled and glanced over at steve before delivering one final blow.
"seriously though, steve, ask her out. she's got the hots for you and it's so obvious." dustin muttered, significantly more quietly this time. you physically couldn't take it anymore. you stood up from your seat, dizzily lurching toward the front door, causing everyone in the room to look up at you with wide eyes.
"woah, hey. you okay?" eddie asked worriedly, moving to stand up until you waved him away with your hand.
"just feeling sick. need some fresh air." you barely got the words out before you were stumbling outside and into the cold october air. you hastily made your way behind the trailer, not noticing the door shutting behind you and the footsteps trying to keep up with your quick pace.
as soon as you felt like you were far enough from the chaos, you let your feet give out and landed on your knees with a thud. tears immediately began to prick at your eyes and cloud your vision. you didn't realize you were sobbing until a pair of hands reached down to rub your back.
you jumped slightly at the sudden contact, but quickly let your guard down when you realized the person kneeling beside you was just steve. without even thinking, you let yourself lean into him until his arms were wrapped around you, your shoulders shaking against his. after a few minutes, steve leaned back to check on you.
"you wanna talk about it?" he asked softly, his brows furrowed at your disheveled state. your heart ached with dread at the thought of telling steve why you were so upset, but ultimately you decided he deserved to know. you took in a deep, shaky breath and began to speak.
"do you like robin?" your voice sounded painfully hoarse. steve's eyes opened impossibly wide at your question. you tensed your muscles, preparing yourself for the impending crash of the world around you. instead, your ears were met with a quiet chuckle.
"you think i have a crush on robin?" steve asked, the corner of his mouth turning up into a smile. you looked up at him, dumbfounded. he took a step back and continued. "robin is my best friend. that's all she is."
you relaxed marginally, having faith that steve would never lie to you. he could see that you were still bothered by something, and then it hit him like a load of bricks. how did he not realize this sooner?
he contemplated saying something for several moments, not wanting to be presumptuous or make you feel uncomfortable. finally, after what felt like forever, he cleared his throat and spoke up.
"do you uh..." he froze, not knowing if this was the right thing to do or not. "do you like robin?" steve's voice was barely above a whisper, careful to keep the conversation only between the two of you. you felt your stomach churn while fresh tears threatened to spill, and steve was quick to reassure you.
"hey, you're okay. everything is okay. you know i care about you no matter what, yeah?" his voice was gentle, and you nodded before feeling your shoulders tremble once more and looked down. steve's hands were on your shoulders in a heartbeat.
"you should talk to her, you know. i really think she'd understand." he tried his best to convince you, but that was the last thing you wanted to hear. you shot your head up to look at him and shook your head apprehensively.
"no way in hell am i going to do that, steve. that is the worst idea you've ever had." you felt bad for shooting him down so quickly, but what else were you supposed to do? tell robin you've been in love with her since the very first time you saw her perform at a hawkins high football game? tell her how your stomach erupts with butterflies every time you meet her eyes in a crowd? or how you've counted and memorized every single freckle on her face like they were stars in a constellation? you couldn't handle that kind of rejection. no, you'd rather admire robin buckley from a safe distance in order to save yourself from imminent heartbreak.
"you've counted all of robin's freckles?" steve asked with a quiet laugh. shit, did you say all of that out loud? "how many are there?" you rolled your eyes and playfully shoved steve's arm. just as you were about to come up with some snarky remark to throw at him, you both heard the unmistakable hum of nancy's car pulling into eddie's driveway. just like that, your entire facade melted away and your hands began to shake. steve looked at you and made one last plea.
"please just trust me. robin will understand, i know she will. i need you to trust me. i just want you to be happy." steve's voice came in quick bursts as he looked between you and the front of the trailer. your head was spinning and your thoughts were whipping around inside your head so fast that you thought it might split open.
you heard both car doors slam shut and the sound of nancy and robin talking as they walked toward the front door. something nancy said must have been funny, because you both heard a melodic laugh that you knew without a doubt belonged to robin. you couldn't control the smile that crept its way onto your face, which steve was quick to notice, and it made his heart swell.
"do you trust me?" he asked, turning to walk toward the front of the trailer. you felt dread seep into your skin again, but you knew deep down that steve would never betray your trust. you took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly before nodding.
"i trust you." you told him hesitantly, and that was all he needed to hear. before you knew it, steve was jogging back to the front door and your heart began to race again. what if this ruins everything? what if robin thinks you're weird? what if she doesn't even like girls? lightheadedness began to overtake you, so you sat on the grass and leaned your back against the trailer, silently waiting for the scariest moment of your life to finally arrive.
by the time steve made it back to the living room, robin was about to sit down on the couch next to nancy. he motioned for her to come talk to him by the door and, surprisingly, dustin didn't have another outburst at the sight of robin immediately gravitating toward steve. steve didn't even get a single word out before robin was speaking frenetically.
"she isn't here?" robin's voice sounded dejected and defeated, like her hopes had been crushed right in front of her. "i thought she was... well, i mean i thought we were all hanging out tonight. is she okay?" she sounded legitimately worried, and steve sensed a familiar ache in her voice that he'd heard in yours just moments ago.
"she's here, actually. she's out back." steve replied quietly, and robin looked through the front window and sighed nervously.
"it's freezing out there. what if she gets sick?" she pondered anxiously, as if you were a fragile flower that couldn't handle a little bit of frost. steve chuckled to himself.
"she needs to talk to you, rob." he told her, and robin's eyes widened with anxiety.
"me? why? did i do something wrong?" robin's voice was shaking slightly, and steve quickly assured her that nothing bad was going to happen.
"do you trust me?" he asked, looking down to meet her eyes. "you know i would never put you in a bad situation, robin." she knew he was right. steve was her best friend, and she knew he'd never do anything that would hurt her. she took a deep breath and nodded.
"where did you say she was?" she asked, inwardly cursing the way her voice shook.
steve pointed outside. "she's around back. big goofy grin, you won't miss her."
robin chuckled to herself as she walked outside and closed the door behind her before mumbling to herself. "i sure won't."
you were sitting in the grass playing with your fingers when you noticed robin turning the corner. as soon as your eyes met you shot up, your nerves already pounding inside your head. as she approached you, you clutched your hands together and tried your best to will them to stop trembling. when she was directly in front of you, she looked down and noticed your hands shaking, feeling her heart sink at how cold you must be.
"look at you, you're probably freezing out here." she gently scolded you, sliding her own jacket off her arms and handing it to you. you looked at her hesitantly and she persisted. "please put it on. i don't want you to get sick out here."
"thanks, rob." your voice was hardly a whisper as you pulled her jacket over your arms and zipped it up. it smelled like her. it was warm. you cursed yourself for nearly getting lost in your thoughts again. robin sat on the ground and patted the grass beside her, beckoning you to sit with her.
"steve said you needed to talk to me?" she questioned as you lowered yourself onto the cold earth beside her. you felt your chest tighten at her words, anxiety coursing through your veins.
robin must have noticed how tense you were, because she reached her hand out to touch your knee, having no idea that the contact would only cause the fog in your mind to become even more palpable. you felt your throat dry out and you tried to look anywhere but robin's worried eyes, opting to stare at the grass beneath your feet instead.
"hey, whatever it is i'm sure it'll be okay." robin squeezed your knee gently. "you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. i'm sure steve is just being silly." you shook your head and she tilted her own to the side in a questioning look.
"he's not being silly. he's just looking out for me, i guess, but i'm too much of a coward to fix my own problems." you mumbled, and it took robin a second to decipher what you had said. she shook her head and lowered herself to meet your eyes. "i'm a coward." you finished, chuckling dryly.
"why would you think that?" she asked, her voice laced with confusion and concern. you were intensely aware of her face mere inches from yours, and your heart felt like it was about to burst. robin looked at you patiently, allowing you to collect your thoughts. you drew in a shuddering breath before speaking lowly.
"there's this ache inside my chest, robin. i don't know how to make it stop. it's like it's been there since the day i was born." you began, unsure of where you were planning to go. robin listened closely, taking your words to heart. "it's like it's as much a part of me as my soul is. it's like i have to hide from everyone around me, including myself. i can't even look at myself in the mirror because all i see is someone who runs from every single one of their problems." you were talking so quickly you barely had time to gasp for air in between your words.
"you don't have to hide from me. you never have to hide from me." robin spoke softly, moving to instead sit on her knees in front of you. "life can be so fucking scary sometimes, and i know that. trust me, i definitely know that." her voice was so quiet that you almost believed you were imagining it. slowly, she reached out her hands to hold your trembling ones, moving so carefully it was like she was afraid you would break. the moment her fingers met yours, it was like your whole world came collapsing down all at once.
fresh tears began pooling in your eyes, blinding you, and robin was quick to notice. she gently released your hands, and instead moved to hold your face in her palms. you instinctively tried to raise your hands to your face in an attempt to hide, but her elbows stopped you. she shook her head and frowned.
"please don't hide from me. i want to help you so badly. i know that even though i'm..." she paused for a moment, evidently beginning to get emotional. she took a deep breath to steady herself and continued. "even though i'm not good at so many things, please at least let me try." by the time she finished speaking, her voice was barely above a choked whisper. it was dark outside but you were sure you saw tears running down her rosy cheeks.
now it was your turn to reach your hands out, wiping her her cheeks with your thumbs and finally raising your gaze to find her eyes already locked on yours. instantly you felt your face heating up, a stark contrast to the chilly air around you. you almost wanted to get up and run away, but something about the look in robin's eyes kept you cemented in place. you wanted to speak, but no words would come. finally, robin broke the silence.
"your eyes are so pretty." her voice was nearly inaudible, almost like it was a secret only meant for herself. she looked at you like she was lost in thought, much like you had been just moments ago. she seemed to realize what she'd said because, seconds later, she was stuttering and stumbling her way through an unexpected apology.
"god, i'm sorry. that probably sounded, like, super weird." her face was getting rosier by the second. you could tell she wanted to run away, too, so you pondered for a moment before opening your mouth to speak.
"your freckles are... pretty." you were shocked at the sound of your own voice, not to mention the fact that you just said that to robin's face. her eyes went wide in disbelief, and you decided to just go big or go home. "you're really pretty, actually. not just your freckles." you must have looked terrified, because robin began rubbing comforting circles against your cheeks with her thumbs. she was almost speechless.
almost.
"you... you think i'm pretty?" her voice sounded far away, your mind far too occupied with the constellations scattered across robin's face. "actually pretty?" you snapped back to reality at the shakiness in robin's voice. her eyes were misty, but even in the dimly lit backyard you couldn't miss the way her deep blue eyes looked like oceans. usually you were terrified of the ocean, afraid that it would swallow you up and drag you down into its depths. robin's ocean eyes made you feel safe and secure and serene. it was in those eyes that you found the courage to speak.
"so beautiful." your voice was soft, like you were dreaming and didn't want to wake yourself up. your anxiety from moments ago was almost entirely melted away, replaced with calm admiration. robin was a good person. she would never look at you differently or treat you differently if you opened up to her. of this you were certain.
robin shakily let out a breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding. she gathered up all the courage she possibly could and brought a finger up to gently pull a stand of hair behind your ear. she took a long breath and decided now was as good a time as any.
"can i kiss you?" robin almost regretted the words the second they fell past her lips. you could have sworn you were hearing things. your mind was racing again, unsure of how to respond. robin's anxiety seemed to get the best of her, because a few seconds later she was on her feet and pacing around in front of you. with her hands in her hair, she began apologizing profusely.
"god, what is wrong with me? fuck, i am so sorry. i can't believe i just said that. you probably think i'm some weirdo now, and you probably don't even wanna be friends with me anymore." her words were moving faster than a bullet. you were sitting in the grass, completely stunned, but when robin started to panic and walk away, you knew you had to do something quickly.
you were on your feet in a heartbeat, catching up with robin and gently grabbing her wrist. when she turned to face you, your heart shattered at the fear on her face. her bottom lip was trembling and she looked like she was about to say something. before she could apologize again, you broke the silence.
"robin, you are hands down the most beautiful person i have ever met in my entire life. you're kind and smart and funny, and you're so talented; it blows my mind. you're amazing." your voice was much louder than you had anticipated, emotion dripping from every word. robin looked at you like you had just come down from the heavens above. you took a step closer, reaching down to hold her hands in yours. lowering your voice, you concluded. "you're perfect."
"perfect? you think i'm perfect?" her voice sounded incredulous. you gave her a small nod and her lip started to quiver again. you carefully released her hands and instead rested your palms on either side of her neck. at first, robin had no idea what to do with her hands, so she awkwardly held them between the two of you. when you noticed them and giggled, she finally gathered the courage to rest her hands on your waist. her head felt floaty, but she chalked it up to whatever this moment was. you looked at the way she was trying not to smile and sighed contently.
"i think i'll take that kiss now." you heard your voice before you felt it, but you weren't complaining. robin was stunned, frozen in place for a few seconds. your thumbs rubbing circles on her jawline brought her back to reality. this was happening. as if on autopilot, robin stepped forward and leaned down, closing the gap between you.
the moment your lips met was like everything you'd ever dreamed it would be. the kiss itself wasn't anything hugely dramatic. there were no firework explosions or bursts of passion like in the movies. robin's kiss was short, but that felt right. everything with robin felt right.
pulling away was the hardest part, your lips suddenly aware of the icy chill in the air. the look on robin's face? now that was the best part. her cheeks were the deepest shade of pink you'd ever seen them, and her eyes creased from how big her smile was. her hands moved to the small of your back as she spoke.
"holy shit, i just kissed you. you kissed me? we kissed?" her voice was absolutely elated, and you couldn't stop the huge smile that was forming on your face. robin was almost in her own world for a moment, excitedly drumming her hands on your back and dancing around like no one was watching.
but you were watching.
and robin was okay with that.
after she calmed down a bit, you suggested going back inside so that everyone knew the two of you didn't just vanish. really you just wanted to get robin inside so she wouldn't freeze to death, seeing as how she continuously refused to take her jacket back. she persisted that your warmth was far more important than hers, and she wasn't about to lose that argument.
as you approached the front door of eddie's trailer, robin reached down and held your hand in hers. you looked at her cautiously, but she just squeezed your hand and nodded. she was ready. she didn't feel the need to hide anymore, and neither did you. you were in this together, and that gave you the strength to finally open the door and face everyone.
not even a second after the two of you entered, steve was already up and walking over to you. he engulfed both of you in a hug until you weren't sure you could breathe anymore. when he backed away, steve harrington was crying. he sucked in a short breath and spoke.
"finally, you guys." he laughed, clearly trying to downplay how emotional he was getting. you and robin saw right through his facade, and you tugged him over for another hug. "i just want my best friends to be happy, you know? want what's best for you guys." steve excused himself to the couch, chugging down the rest of his water and insisting that he was not crying.
"you two love doves finally have a talk or what?" eddie's voice rang out, while nancy just looked at the two of you with a huge grin on her face. robin was swinging your hand in hers, smile wide and eyes bright. she nodded excitedly and eddie smiled warmly. "good. about damn time, too."
"don't think i'm third wheeling, you guys. you're still stuck with me, so don't try and get rid of me." nancy chimed in, her eyes full of amusement. eddie and steve chuckled quietly.
"we wouldn't dream of it, nance. you're always gonna be our best friend." robin gave her a heartfelt look. you nodded your head in agreement and smiled. steve sniffled and spoke up.
"i'm your best friend." he raised his hand, pretending to be offended. you and robin chuckled, and steve just gave a toothy grin.
suddenly, the bathroom door swung open. dustin waltzed into the living room and plopped down onto the couch, oblivious to everything that had just happened. he noticed the weight in the room and did a quick glance around. it didn't take long for him to notice robin's hand tangled in yours. he scanned over everyone in the room, paying especially close attention to steve.
"uhh... what's going on? what did i miss?" dustin asked with a quizzical expression on his face. robin just laughed.
"i'm gay, dustin." robin spoke with so much confidence that steve had to will himself to not cry again. you looked up at her and smiled, squeezing her hand.
"yeah, me too." you added, chuckling to yourself at the bewildered look on dustin's face, while steve cried for the second time that night. eddie and nancy looked just as amused as you. dustin's eyes crinkled into a smile as he finally connected all the dots, steve's words finally making sense to him.
"that's awesome, you guys." dustin's cheesy smile was clearly evident in his voice, and it made you smile even more.
so as you and robin settled onto the couch beside nancy, and robin absentmindedly wrapped her arm around you while laughing at one of steve's corny jokes, you looked around the room at your favorite people in the entire world and thought to yourself: there is no place i would rather be.
(a/n: this is my first fic that i've actually finished in almost three years!! i might be a little rusty, but i'm really proud of this one and i really hope you enjoyed reading. feedback is always immensely appreciated, as well as any constructive advice anyone might have. thank you for giving my fic a chance <3)
