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tannertan36
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@an0rexiathings
Me and my best friend were talking yesterday and weight came up and i said yeah I'm 125 and she went really I'm 135 AND SHE'S SMALLER THEN ME like she looks perfect and I STILL look bigger than her. I remember when I was 40-60 pounds heavier than her and, now I'm less🤭.
I didn't think my weight loss was noticeable untill the other day my best friends mom asked me if I'm losing weight and I said "no I don't think so" and she went "maybe I'm just so use to seeing u in baggie clothes " I'm so happy that it's noticeable I want to lose more.
Glamorising Ed's needs to stop. People without an ed don't get it it's not just not eating or over working out its how many times I've stayed up at night hoping something horrific would happen to me so I could finnaly be skiny because they had to wire my Jaw shut. Or bending over the toilet with snot dripping out of your nose, the bathroom smells like vomit your hair sticking to your face, you taste puke and your hand is covered in vomit. Or crying yourself to sleep on the bathroom floor after eating a fucking carrot. Or not being able to eat in public. Only being able to wear baggie clothes because you'll have a panic attack If people can see what your body looks like. Sucking in your stomach every single second of everyday even tho it hurts because it make u look that much skinnier. Going outside after a family event so you can purge away so no one hears you. only ever thinking about food. Passing out. Hair falling out. Dizzy. Can't breath. Can't walk. Falling off your fucking bed because you don't have energy to walk 2 steps. The constant body checking. Always comparing yourself to others. Never losing enuf. The voice never stops. Hidding vomit bags in your room. Seeing the gears turn in someone head after you say your not hunger again even tho you both know you haven't eaten. Having to lie to everyone u love. Seeing the look of disappointment on someone face when you tell them. Binging the while kitchen at 3 am. Not being able to hang out with friends because your to fat to go out. It needs to stop, the glamorize, because nothing about this fucking disorder is pretty nothing about it is ascetic its a death sentence. Some make it out some don't.
When u get off track and still seeing the number drop down is the most confusing yet satisfieing feeling <3
My friends always eat lunch and everyday I have to deni food and there starting to get suspicious of my ed. My friend even said "u better not be going anorexic on me bitch" I almost shit myself.
Omgggggggg ok so I haven't worn leggings in a while because it shows how big my legs and stomach are but when I put them on this morning they were lose and my stomach is so much flatter then the last time.
I haven't noticed any changes but apparently I'm losing weight again I'm so happy rn.
To celebrate I'm doing a 100 hour fast<3
I know I don't look fat to others and I would be seen as "normal" body but my ed brain sees a fat ass elephant. I can only wear baggie clothes because I can't have people seeing how fat I am😒
I can't wait till I'm skinnie enough to go out without a worry about people thinking I'm big <3
When u stand up and have to stand still for a few seconds till u can see again and it's not all black. <3
Don't get me wrong I love hanging out with my best friend and lover her to death but her stupid fuck healthy relationship with food kills me inside every time i go to her house having to eat bc she would catch onto me again. <3
Love ya girl but when u make me eat I Wana tear your hair out sincerely you bestie.
I'm so fucking over the always tired and shaking felling. I was just walking home frome my bus stop and I hade to fucking sit down I'm the middle of the road not even half way home bc i was shaking so bad and felt like I hade no energy I couldn't walk.
I'm so fucking happy rn. Ok so my mom was just telling me how skinnie I've gotten and complemented me on my weight loss and this is the reason I keep going <3
Like thanks it's called 💫starving yourself for days 💫
I started a new school and I made a few friend and they invited me to eat pizza with them during lunch and I cant say no so I guess I'll just try and spit it into a napkin but idk what to do I don't want to break my fast that I'm only 35 hours in <3
3d brain be like
*Walking and floor creaks*
"It's bc your fat"
U know it's bad when you think 1000 cal is a binge
Now that school has started I can starve myself for 8 hours a day without temptation <3
Why haven't I thought of this
So ive been thinking, You know how pickles say there 0 calories. They lied, there acualy 7-10 cal for a medium sized pickle. Companies are allowed to say 0 cal because there so low in calories that it's basically zero cal. So if the pickle company is allowed to do this how can we tell other companies aren't lieing either. <3