Series Summary: Gemma is definitely Cassidy James' favourite Styles family member, considering they are best friends and all. And especially considering that Harry Styles is Gemma's smug and self-centered younger brother. Her life isn't perfect, and neither is she, but she hates how everyone thinks Harry is. Because she knows that's not the case.
Chapter Summary: Cassidy thought her friendship with Harry and her relationship with Derek could exist peacefully. But you can't always have what you want, and sometimes you can keep what you already have.
Chapter Warnings: Some explicit language, mention of sex, alcohol consumption, jealousy, argument, physical altercation, panic/anxiety attack
[ present - August 2020 ]
As the sunlight from outside peeks through the curtains, Cassidy stretches her body, her eyes still shut as she holds onto that peaceful feeling.
A stirring beside her opens her eyes, and she rolls over to see Derek slowly waking.
It wasn't planned that he would stay the night, but the relief from her completed work, a couple glasses of wine, and the feeling of his lips persistently grazing her neck sent them straight to the bedroom as soon as her laptop was shut.
"Mm. Good morning." Derek mumbles, turning onto his side and slowly blinking to clear his vision, smiling as they meet each other's gaze. "I definitely enjoy waking up like this."
Cassidy brings her shoulders up in shyness, a blush forming on her cheeks. He is the first man, in a very long time, that she has woken up next to in the bed. The man before him was, maybe unfortunately, her last sexual partner. The man before him is actually, in a way, the reason it's been so long. Because, the man before him is Cecelia's father.
[ flashback - January 2016 ]
"You had sex with Nathan?" Gemma squeals, bouncing in excitement.
Cassidy smiles at not only the question, or the memory of that night, but also at how silly yet normal it feels to be sitting on Gemma's bed and talking about boys, since now they are in their early twenties.
"You're acting like I'm some shy, little virgin, Gem! I've had sex before."
Her best friend swats her arm and Cassidy grabs it in dramatic fashion.
"I know you're not, CJ. I was at the party when that all changed." She winces in disgust, and Cassidy knows it is due to the reminder of that night. She was naive, and inexperienced, and it was just bad. "I know about everyone you've had sex with."
Cassidy clears her throat, desperately hoping that Gemma doesn't read anything into it, because there is actually one person that her best friend does not know about. That she can never know about. Gemma will never know that Cassidy had sex with Harry. Twice.
"Okay, now you're making me out to be a whore."
"Oh for fucks sake, CJ." Gemma rolls her eyes, pulling her knees to rest under her chin. "So… what was he like?"
"Gem!" Cassidy exclaims, tossing a nearby pillow in her friend's direction.
"What? I had to ask…"
"You really didn't…"
Gemma pouts, giving her best begging eyes, even though they both know that Cassidy will spill the beans anyway.
"It was good." She states, dropping her head down onto her own knees as she feels a pink hue rushing to her cheeks. "Really good."
"That's all I get?"
"I'm not going into detail about it, Gem, bloody hell!"
"Fine." Gemma's shoulders drop in disappointment, causing Cassidy to let out a loud laugh.
"It was hot and sweaty." She replies, suddenly wanting to give her friend just a little something to satisfy the curiosity. "And, he was good at it."
A buzz almost vibrates through the entire mattress, and both girls check their phones to see who was sent some form of communication. Cassidy holds hers up so the screen is on full view for her friend.
"Speaking of…"
🗨️Nathan: i had a really good time with you
Cassidy instantly feels the pink hue turn to a bright, hot red. She bites her bottom lip, and her gaze flickers up to her best friend, not speaking any words to clue her in on what was just said through the text.
🗨️Cassidy: i did too
🗨️Nathan: i'll let you know next time i'm in town
🗨️Nathan: if you wanna hang out again
"Well… what does it say? Are you gonna see him again?" Gemma asks, scooting across the bedding as if it gets her closer to the information she's about to receive.
"Ummm…" Cassidy begins to reply. She feels an almost giddiness begin to flutter in her stomach, but tries to reel it in. When they met, at that One Direction party, she figured he was nice, even though their interaction was cut short by a certain long-haired twat. And when Michal later mentioned Nathan had been asking about her, she must admit she was a little flattered, despite the awkward tension in the room between her and Harry. It's sort of ironic that she was so insistent that she and Nathan were not going on a date on New Year's Eve, yet here she is, talking to her best friend about how she just spent the night with him. She can almost hear Harry's disgustingly arrogant 'I was right' comment if he were also involved in this conversation. She hates that he was, coincidentally, correct. But her recent date with Nathan went really well, and even though it would cause Harry's already giant ego to grow, she's actually glad she got together with the guy.
"Yeah." She utters, looking down at the open messages on her phone, slight discouragement settling in.
"That doesn't sound convincing…"
"It's just that…" Cassidy looks up, her teeth toying with her bottom lip as she adjusts her posture. "He isn't always in town. I guess he's been traveling a bit for his job."
"What does he do?" Gemma asks. "I don't remember."
"Honestly? I don't either." She admits, pulling her lips inward with a little guilt. "Something with production, or marketing, I think."
"Hm." Her best friend hums, an expression of thought now embedded between her brows. "Well, it seems as if he likes you… he wants to see you again when he can… maybe just see where it goes?"
"See where it goes." Cassidy utters back, as if to let the words take root in her brain. She looks down to her phone again, her thumbs positioned over the keyboard as she begins to type.
🗨️Cassidy: yeah, let me know when you're back
[ present - August 2020 ]
Cassidy gives Derek one last kiss before rolling out of his arms and scooting close to the edge of the bed to retrieve her phone.
"I think we slept in…"
"That's good… right?" Derek chuckles, a humorously confused look across his still sleepy face.
"Yeah, it is, I guess. I just never get to do it. But it's good." She smiles back, unlocking her phone to check the time. As she opens it, her expression drops and she quickly sits up in the bed. "Nope… not good. Not good!"
"What? Why?" Derek asks, sitting up to match her posture and placing his hand on her back.
"Shit. Umm… okay, okay…" She stutters, looking around the room for something, though she isn't sure what she needs, since her mind has become a jumble. "The time! Harry is gonna be here in 15 minutes with Cece!"
"Okay… I don't understand why that's bad."
Cassidy sighs. Not truly out of annoyance, but more so to regulate her breathing, also hoping she can take that second to gather her thoughts.
"She's going to see you here." That's all she can manage as her mind focuses on searching for her clothes.
"I'm… confused… I'm still not seeing the problem."
She can't blame him, really. He's never dated a single mum, so he's not accustomed to the dynamic of this sort of relationship. She really shouldn't blame herself for anything either, but she can't help picturing the face Cecelia will make seeing Derek there when she is brought back home. It doesn't sit right with Cassidy, not this early on.
"She's still getting used to us being together, Derek. I don't want to make it even more awkward for her."
"Cecelia is only 3 years ol-"
"Derek, please. Y-you... I need you to leave."
"Okay." He slides out of the bed, stopping his steps as he gets close enough to hold onto her shoulders. "I don't want you to stress out. I'll go."
Cassidy nods in response, closing her eyes as he kisses her forehead and releases his hold for them to both find their clothing.
She feels her breaths pick up their pace, hoping she can keep herself calm enough so that Derek doesn't pick up on her current fret.
As he finally finishes dressing, he comes up behind her, shuffling along with his hands on her waist as she exits the bedroom, walking to the hook by the front door where he placed his keys.
She spins around to find a wide, amused grin stretched across his face, causing a small amount of annoyance to bubble up.
"What's so entertaining about this?"
He pulls her closer, once again placing his lips on her forehead, then down onto her nose, and one on her own lips.
"This is the first time I've been kicked out." He utters. "But if it ended up happening, I would never have thought it would be because someone was coming back home. Well, not a kid, at least."
"It's just…" She begins to reply, not even sure of what she wants to convey, her mind is in too much of a frantic state.
"I was just trying to lighten the mood, I'm sorry."
He pulls back, lifting her chin to focus her gaze on his. "It'll be okay. I'll call you later, yes?"
"Yes." She quietly responds, receiving one last kiss, and watches as he exits through the front door.
She releases a few shallow breaths as she attempts to gather herself. Derek is gone, which wasn't the problem, but she does believe that having him there when Cecelia got home would just create an even more awkward dynamic between the two of them. She may be young, but she is observant and bright. Cassidy is sure she would pick up on the fact that something was different. Or, at the very least, feel upset because someone else is at their flat in the morning, despite her own absence. Even if Cassidy is completely wrong, she'd much rather be safe than sorry. Her daughter always comes first.
A knock on the door pulls her out of her daze, creating a frustration since it seems Derek is being a bit careless and disregarding her wishes.
She swings the door open, finding Harry standing on the other side, with Cecelia's little hand wrapped in one of his, and her belongings held in his other.
"Mummy!" She exclaims, releasing herself from Harry and wrapping her arms around her mum's leg.
"H-hey, Bug." Cassidy manages to reply, her gaze flickering down the corridor with worry beginning to build. Did they see him? Did they both see Derek? If they did, what might he have said to them?
She moves out of the way, ushering them both inside, and closes the door behind them.
Cecelia runs straight to her bedroom, and Harry turns around with a curious expression on his face.
"I see work went well…" He states, an unclear tone to his words. Cassidy feels her chest tighten at the realization that they did, in fact, run into the man who stayed the night. Not only did her daughter encounter him, but Harry too, and she can't determine why that bothers her almost as much, but assumes it is because of the tension they always seem to have. "Cass, are you alright?"
"Did… did he say anything?"
"Who? Derek?"
"Yeah."
Harry shakes his head, putting down the bag of Cecelia's things and placing one hand on Cassidy's arm.
"I spotted him in the parking lot. Cece didn't even notice." His response helps her to release a bit more of a shaky breath, and Harry gently squeezes her arm. "Hey. Inhale and exhale for me, yeah?"
Her eyes meet his, seeing the familiar concern that he has shown each time he's helped her through a panicked state. He begins to demonstrate what he's asked her to do, and she follows along, breathing in and out at the same pace, seeing his own worry diminish each time they do so together.
"There you go." He encourages, his focus fixed on her. "Better?"
"Yes." She replies, her lungs opening with her new regulated breathing. "Thank you."
"What's going on?" He asks, that concern seemingly turning from her panic and now to what may have caused it.
"I don't really know." She replies. Despite simply not wanting Derek's presence to create an uncomfortable environment for Cecelia, she isn't sure why that possible scenario caused such an intense reaction.
"Was it Derek?" He questions, his tone turning a lot more stern than it was just moments ago. "Did something happen with him?"
"No, no, no." She quickly responds, wanting to squash the negative assumption immediately. "No. I just… I didn't want Cece to see him here."
"Why's that?" He asks suddenly.
"I'm not sure." Her brow furrows, searching her mind for a satisfying answer. Not necessarily for Harry, but for herself. "I just thought it might be awkward for her. I'm sure I was just being ridiculous."
"That's not ridiculous, Cass." He gives her a small, yet reassuring smile. "She's your daughter. You want to do what feels right for her."
A warmth falls over her. A sudden relief through validation. She's a mother. She's allowed to be protective. Especially when allowing another person into their lives. And besides, this is all new territory for her.
Derek hasn't been in a situation like this either, so she can't expect him to understand. Oddly, Harry seems to get it, but many of his other friends have children too. He's probably been privy to a multitude of different parenting difficulties.
"I didn't… plan any of it, by the way."
"What do you mean?" He asks, confusion appearing on his features.
"I didn't know he was coming over last night. He showed up while I was working. He hung around while I was writing, and then we ended up-"
"I don't need the details." Harry interrupts, smiling yet wincing simultaneously, causing Cassidy to laugh.
"I just don't want you to think that I had you watch Cece so I could… have a date or something, and not tell you." She explains softly, and shyly.
"Cass… I know you're not that type of person." Harry chuckles. "And I suppose it doesn't matter anyway. I offered to help, there were no conditions."
She sighs out of relief. Mainly due to the reassurance of his willingness to help out. But also, mildly, she feels that relief because he doesn't seem to be uncomfortable with whatever potential reason she needed that help. Maybe that's a good sign, that they can all get along, and be around each other.
"Plus, I'll take any opportunity to spend time with the James girls…" He begins to add, and by the look being created in his face, Cassidy can tell he has something cheeky to say next. "Well, one of them. The other is a bit of a nuisance…"
"Oh you're one to talk, you wank-"
"But speaking of hanging out, are you free this weekend? My friends Sarah and Mitch want to meet you." He states, a shy blush forming on his cheeks, and an almost timidness to his tone.
"From your band? Why?" She asks, hoping the question didn't come across as snarky. Though, considering their usual banter, she wouldn't really care either way.
"Yeah." He chuckles, running a ring-free hand through his unclipped hair. "They want to meet the girl who tormented me as a kid."
"Oh you've got to be kidding me!" She exclaims, watching as a wide grin stretched across his face, and a dimple caves into his cheeks.
Harry throws up his hands, dramatically, in defense of his sarcastic statement.
"That's how I remember it…" He replies, the grin somehow getting wider. "It would be a small group of us, eating out or something. You can tell lies… I mean stories… from our childhood."
"Wow. You are really selling me on the idea of hanging out with you and your friends." She rolls her eyes, noticing Harry pulls his lips as he jokingly does the same.
"You'll have friends there too. Me…" He points to himself proudly, and arrogantly, as if that's all the reason she needs. To be fair, it is. She would hang out with him any time. But considering how Derek feels, it's probably best to include more people. At least for now.
"Wow. Convincing." She scoffs, lightheartedly.
"And Gem." He jokingly scowls back. "And Roxie, if you want to invite her."
"Well, in that case…" She teases, pretending to ponder all the information she's just been given. One thing she does actually wonder is if she should mention the man she's been dating. If she should include him, too. It's Harry's invitation. He doesn't seem to be the biggest fan of Derek, who seems to reciprocate the feeling, so it's probably best not to. Besides, she has seen a lot more of Derek lately than the others, and she can have a night out with just her friends if she wants. "Count me in!"
•••
Despite the new limited capacity inside, the pub seems to be filled with noise and laughter, and as she walks up to the secluded booth filled with her friends, Cassidy can't help but feel as if this is something she's been needing. Though, it's probably something that most people have been needing, ever since the world practically shut down.
There's probably not enough gratitude she can express for this venue allowing small groups of people, masked until they are seated, to get together and slowly get back a bit more freedom. And just as much, she is thankful for Harry's invitation to a night out.
"There she is!" Gemma exclaims, causing each person's head to swivel in her direction. "Is Roxie coming?"
"No, she couldn't make it."
"Well, nice of you to join us." Harry adds, instantly receiving a friendly glare from her.
"Hey! I had to try to explain to Cece why she couldn't come and hang out with us." She shakes her head, almost exhausted from the fifteen minute conversation she had with her 3 year old before she left.
"She just wants to be with her bestie…"
"Yeah and I still can't figure out why." She chuckles, sliding into the spot at the end of the seat, next to Gemma.
"You must be Cassidy then." She hears from the middle of the group, turning and meeting the gaze of the brunette smiling back at her.
"I am! You must be Sarah." She smiles, reaching across the table as best she can to shake hands. Her gaze moves over a few inches to see a quiet, brunette man, with the smallest of smiles on his face, barely detectable as he makes eye contact. "And you must be Mitch."
"Yep." He responds, reaching his own hand out for a quick shake.
"Nice to meet you both." She states, settling back down in her seat. As her gaze flickers over to Harry, she sees his lips pulled slightly to his left in a subtle smirk, as if proud that they've all finally met. Though, the funny thought crosses her mind that he might not be so happy about the situation if and when she corrects any ridiculously inaccurate stories he's already told them. "I hear I have some childhood memories I need to straighten out."
"That was a joke, Cass."
"They still deserve to know the truth." She smirks, seeing his grow a little wider with amusement. "But first, I need a drink."
•••
As Harry buries his face in his palms, the rest of the group erupts with laughter, unfortunately for him it's at his expense.
"My mum never intended for him to wear that dalmatian costume for two more years…" Gemma states, expanding on the story they've been engrossed in.
"It didn't even fit him anymore. The hem of the bottoms came halfway up his shins!" Cassidy adds, trying hard to catch her own breath.
"Alright. Alright." Harry lifts his head, giving it a shake as he gives his sister a glare.
"Sorry little brother." Gemma states.
"It's a fun memory!" Cassidy adds, regaining control of her breaths. As it settles, she focuses on him, seeing a sheepish smile on his face.
"Yes, yes. They've all been so fun." He proclaims sarcastically.
"Well, fun for us…" She responds, pointing between herself and her best friend. Harry purses his lips with a squint of his eyes, causing Cassidy to lift her almost empty glass for a sip, to fake some innocence. Though, she knows he's unbothered by it. He was the one to create this situation after all.
She feels a buzz under her hand, and she flips her palm over to unlock her phone, opening the new message she has just received.
🗨️Derek: hey beautiful, having fun?
🗨️Cassidy: yeah, loads!
"What about secrets? I'm sure you've got some good ones to share about this guy that most people don't know!" Sarah asks.
She closes out of the texts, turning off her screen to think over Sarah's question. For a second, Cassidy believes she doesn't have any, only funny stories to embarrass the guy. However, only a moment later, she is reminded of the one secret they share. The one no one else knows. The one where their bodies were entangled in a sweaty mess in his hotel room. Twice. The one that cannot and will not be shared with anyone else. Especially not at this table, with this crowd. Especially not with Gemma, her best friend and his sister, sitting right beside her.
Her eyes shoot up to his, noticing his lips pulled inward in anticipation. Or maybe worry. Clearly, though, he was reminded of the same thing as he stares at her with wide eyes.
"Umm…" She stalls, watching him squirm in place as she feels her heart begin to race. What can she even say? Her delayed response is only going to make things more uncomfortable, and maybe even begin to look suspicious. She has got to think of something to say, and thankfully, to her extreme relief, she thinks of one other thing to share. "I do know… one thing…"
"Ca-... Cass…" He utters nervously, and quietly, potentially hoping to be unheard by the others, and plead with her not to share their intimate secret. He shouldn't be worried, she wants to keep that locked away as much as he does. Maybe even more.
"When he was younger, Harry had a crush…" She begins in a teasing manner, noticing his eyes squeeze shut. "On his teacher, Mrs. Hamilton."
His eyes shoot open with surprise, and possibly even gratitude, despite her statement being of utter humiliation for him.
"How did you-"
"I overhead you singing some cutesy little made-up song about her one day."
"You did not!" Gemma squeals, a question rather than a defense for him.
"Most boys have a crush on a teach-"
"She was 50 years old, H!" His sister interrupts, causing his hands to return back into his palms as he growls in embarrassment.
"She had a nice smile." He whimpers, and Cassidy can just make out the red blush on his cheeks.
Despite it being a mild admission, she does feel bad for revealing the information, so she takes a deep breath and reaches towards him, placing the tips of her fingers on his for encouragement.
"I… had a crush on Mr. Peters…"
"Oh god!" Gemma exclaims, her palm hitting her forehead as fast as the words leave her lips. "That's just as appalling."
"He had a nice smile, too." She adds, watching Harry lift his head and chuckle, sending an almost appreciative glance with his glistening green eyes. She feels a tickle on her cheeks as a pink hue undoubtedly begins to surface, so she pulls her hands back and straightens herself. "And now I need another drink!"
"I'll get it." Sarah states, bumping Mitch on the arm, causing him to do the same to Harry. "My shout, I'll pay, as a thanks for giving up all those details about H!"
As Harry stands, he rolls his eyes and steps aside, letting his friend out of the booth. Sarah winks as she walks away, and Cassidy feels a nudge on her own arm.
"I need to use the toilet." Gemma utters, causing Cassidy to slide off from the seat and allow her friend to slide by.
Another vibration from her phone grabs Cassidy's attention as she reclaims her seat, and she opens it up to see a couple more messages have just come in.
🗨️Derek: how long will you be there?
🗨️Derek: was hoping to come by after
Cassidy rereads his question, unsure as to why it seems to suddenly, but only slightly, bother her. He knew she was going out with her friends tonight, and that the two of them didn't have any plans together. But nonetheless, she supposes it should be considered sweet that he still wants to see her.
🗨️Cassidy: not sure, maybe an hour or 2
🗨️Derek: oh, really? okay
She places her phone back down onto the table and sighs, thinking that maybe she should have actually included Derek in this get-together.
"You good?" She hears next to her, coming from that familiar and deep voice of her friend, apparently now sitting next to her. She looks up to find his curious, maybe even concerned, expression waiting for her answer.
"Yeah, I'm good." She nods, but it doesn't seem to ease the tension in his features.
"Is it Cece?" He asks, scooting just a little closer as his eyes float down to the device in front of them.
"No, no, she's fine. Our neighbor is over at our flat to watch her. And she's in bed anyway." She replies, inhaling a deep breath and feeling an odd, random sense of comfort as his cologne hits her senses. "It's actually Derek texting me."
Harry's body tenses, very apparent to her, but maybe not so much to his other friend Mitch who is now listening to something on his own phone. She wishes she knew exactly why Harry reacts that way every time she mentions the man she's seeing. If she knows what it is that bothers him, maybe she can fix it.
"Right. And, umm…" He unclamps the clip that has been holding his hair back, and runs his fingers through as he tussles it around. "Did he not want to come out tonight?"
"I didn't invite him." She unintentionally blurts out, no longer able to cultivate a better reply.
"Oh." He utters, and Cassidy catches a small upward tug of his lips, which he immediately attempts to retract. "Why's that?"
"I just wanted a night out with my friends." She shrugs, doing her best not to react to his true, yet subtle, expression of happiness at Derek's absence. "He can come to the next one."
"Sure." He nods, stretching his long, tattooed arm across to grab his glass, instantly bringing it to his lips for a taste of the contents. Cassidy rolls her eyes, though only internally, at the underlying tone to his statement, no matter how hard he's trying to cover it up.
Another notification buzzes through, and she hears an exhaled scoff from the man beside her, slightly muffled by the edge of the glass still pressed between his lips.
🗨️Derek: text me later then
🗨️Cassidy: i will
She relocks the screen once again, setting the phone into her bag to focus on the friends in front of her. She meets Harry's gaze to find him smiling, potentially the biggest smile of the whole night.
"What?"
"I'm just glad we all get to hang out." He shrugs, a timid innocence drawn with his words.
"Really? Even though I'm counteracting this alternative reality you seem to have created for your other friends?" She chuckles, nudging his side gently with her elbow.
"Yes. Despite that." Harry responds, running his thumb along his bottom lip. "It's fun to reminisce…"
"Yeah. You're right." She agrees. "Turns out not all of my childhood memories were so bad."
[ flashback - September 1999 ]
Sitting atop her fluffy pink quilt, her little fingers picking at the nails of each hand, Cassidy waits for someone to enter her bedroom. She doesn't know who it will be. She doesn't know who she wants it to be. But what she does know, even at the age of 6, is that whatever she just walked into was something she wasn't meant to see.
"CJ?" She hears spoken softly, accompanied by a gentle knocking on her door. Her shoulders drop, feeling a little calmer as to who is on the other side.
Her mother slowly opens the door, keeping that quiet, calm demeanor as she steps inside and closes it behind her, allowing it to be just the two of them in the conversation.
"I'm sorry if me and your dad scared you." Her mother states solemnly, taking a seat on the bed and stroking her daughter's hair in comfort. "We were… having a little disagreement…"
"You were yellin', and yellin' is bad." Cassidy responds quickly, and so matter-of-fact, showing off how well she really does know the rules of the house.
"I know, darling, I'm sorry."
"I didn't like it."
"I know, I'm sorry…" Her mother sighs, kissing the top of her daughter's head. "We shouldn't have been so loud."
Cassidy leans into her mother's chest, feeling warmth and comfort appear as she is wrapped up in the hug.
"Mummy?"
"Yes?"
Cassidy pulls her head back, innocently looking into her mother's eyes.
"Daddy shouldn't have hit you. Hittin' is bad, too." She furrows her brow, remembering her father's hand smack across her mother's face as Cassidy entered the kitchen earlier in the evening. "I didn't like that either."
"I know. I'm sorry, CJ." Her mother pulls Cassidy's body back to her, the hold a little tighter this time. "He was… upset. I made a mistake and… well, anyway, I'm alright. Okay? I'm alright."
"Okay." She nods, feeling a hot breath on her hair, causing another question to want to wiggle its way out. "Umm… Mummy…"
"Yes, darling?"
"Will… will he-... what if I make-"
"CJ." Her mother states, pushing back to stare into her daughter's eyes, showing such a sincerity that even the young girl can understand it. "You don't have to worry. No one will hurt you."
[ present day - August 2020 ]
As Cassidy enters through the doors to the lift of her building, she realizes she hadn't sent a text to the babysitter, letting her know that she was on her way.
"Damn it." She mumbles, reaching inside of her bag to retrieve her device, hoping she didn't miss any important messages.
As she unlocks the screen of her phone, she is met with multiple notifications, and feels guilt poke at her heart for not checking it sooner.
Her finger presses to open the app and her breath halts momentarily as she realizes that every message is from one particular person.
🗨️Derek: have you left the pub?
🗨️Derek: are you back yet?
🗨️Derek: can you please text me
🗨️Derek: when will you be home?
🗨️Derek: Cassidy where are you?
Eyes growing wide and the noise of the lift reaching her floor pulls her attention away as the doors begin to open.
She steps out, her gaze adjusting down the corridor towards her flat, and notices someone sitting by her door.
"What the…" She utters quietly, catching up with her thoughts as she catches the attention of the visitor. "Derek? What th-... what… are you doing here?"
The man scrambles to his feet and instantly stands tall, the expression on his face being one of concern. No, it's not one of concern, it's one that is concerning. To her.
"I told you that I wanted to come by."
"Right, but… Derek, I-... I was out with my friends…"
"I know. You said you'd be back in an hour or two, so I made my way over." He shrugs, as if this shouldn't be a surprise to her at all. As if this was always the plan for the night. "You took a bit longer than you said though."
"You've… you've just been… waiting out here?" She watches as Derek nods, swift and simple, yet not doing anything to subside the shock and confusion that's chaotically taken over her brain. "Umm… l-let's just… go inside."
She reaches into her bag and the quiet jingle of keys captures her focus enough to unlock the door and slowly push it open.
"We need to be quiet. Cece is asleep." She whispers over her shoulder, hearing a hum of acknowledgement behind her.
They both step through the doorway, and Cassidy's neighbor stands up from the sofa.
"How was she, Mrs. Clarkson?"
"She was great." The lady smiles. "Went down for bed pretty easily too.'
"Well, thank you so much for watching her tonight. I really appreciate it." Cassidy states, more than grateful to have finally gotten to know her neighbor a few weeks ago, and the woman's offer to take care of Cecelia whenever she was needed.
"It's no problem. Cece is so fun and so sweet. It was my pleasure." Mrs. Clarkson states and suddenly glances behind Cassidy, seemingly noticing the man standing a foot or two away. "Well… I suppose I better be off then."
Mrs. Clarkson nods at the both of them, grabbing a small bag and shuffling towards the door.
"Are you sure I can't give you some mon-" Cassidy tries to ask, despite their earlier conversation, before her night out even began.
"You are just as sweet as your daughter. But I'm sure." Her neighbor swivels around, one hand up in front, the other on the doorknob, and a smile on her face. "I'm here to help, if and when you need me. Enjoy your night."
"Thank you." Cassidy replies, watching the woman walk out, closing the door, and seeming to take the positive vibes with her. Her previous confusion and frustration reappear instantly as she turns her attention back to Derek. "What is going on? Why did you come over?"
"A guy can't just want to see his girl?" He asks, a sarcastic tone to his voice, and his arms across his chest.
"That's not what I'm saying. But tonight was about me spending time with my friends."
"And am I not good enough to hang out with them, too?"
"What? It's not that… you…" Cassidy exhales forcefully, confusion clouding her mind enough to prohibit any complete thought or sentence to be formed. She still has no grasp of an idea as to why he's there or what's going on. "I just… wanted to spend time with my friends."
"Right. Without me." Derek replies, his entire body becoming noticeably more tense as she sees his palms curl into fists.
Cassidy pulls her lips inward, not wanting to say something she may regret, though she isn't even sure what she would say anyway. This entire conversation, and situation in general, is throwing her for a loop.
Thankfully, a buzz from her phone gives her some relief, pulling it out and using the new message as a chance to momentarily reset herself.
🗨️Harry: did you get home safe?
Her thumbs touch the screen to respond, yet the word 'yes' becomes a jumbled array of extra letters as she feels her phone being snatched out from her grasp.
Her mouth drops open, unable to comprehend what has happened, and she shoots her gaze up to see Derek's scowl as he looks down at the device.
"Harry was there?" He growls.
"Derek, what the h-"
"I fucking get it now." He drops the phone back down into her still open hands and scoffs. "Now I see why I wasn't allowed to go."
"What?"
Derek steps closer, and a familiar feeling flows over Cassidy's body, though she doesn't have the speed and steadiness to determine what it is. But she knows it isn't a good one.
"You didn't want me there, because Harry was there."
"Why would that-"
"Because you love him! Don't you? You fucking love him and you lied to me!"
"Derek, Harry and I are just friends." Cassidy replies, quieting her volume in hopes that he will do the same, for the sake of Cecelia's sleep.
A few more steps and he is right in front of her, their toes almost touching. It's normally something that someone would want their significant other to do, but this is not one of the times, and an uneasiness courses through her veins.
"Are you fucking him?" He asks, his voice no more than a whisper, though the intensity in his tone has doubled.
"We've talked ab-"
"Answer the question, Cassidy." He growls, a darkness growing in his glare. "Are you fucking him?"
"No! I'm not!" She replies, her mind swirling in a daze, only providing the most inappropriate memory to manifest at this most inconvenient time. "It's been years since we-"
"Years? Years since… what? Since you two hooked up?" He groans, throwing his head back and running his hands over his face, scoffing at her unintended confession. "I knew it. I fucking knew it."
"It… it was a long… long time ago." She utters, surprising herself that any words came out considering the lump now lodged in her throat.
"Sure. And I'm supposed to believe that you two are 'just friends' now?" His body resets, and a hand suddenly flies forward to grip her arm, causing her body to stiffen, and as his other grabs her phone and throws it to the floor. "I call bullshit."
"Derek… please…" She whispers, her past beginning to surface in her thoughts and feelings.
"Please? Please what?" He mimics, bringing his free hand up to grab her jaw, and his face hovering right in front of hers. "Please forgive you? Please believe you?"
"P-please… let go…"
A little thud and shuffling of tiny feet grab the attention of both adults, sending worry down Cassidy's spine. She hoped it may have caused Derek to release his hold, but he tightens his grip and she whispers as a fear sets in.
"Mummy?" The sleepy little voice sounds out from the bedroom.
"I'll… I'll be r-right there, Bug." Cassidy manages to get out, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.
"Mummy?" Cecelia utters again, clearly having not heard her mum's response, or not understanding it in her drowsy state.
"Stay in your room!" She shouts, shakiness and panic unavoidable at this point, as she hopes it goes unnoticed. Not just by her daughter. "Please, stay in there!"
She hears Cecelia shuffle back to bed, and her cheeks become wet, undoubtedly leaving long black marks as the tears drop.
"You… you need to leave." She mumbles, unsure if her words even left her lips, but desperately hoping they did.
"You think I'd want to stay?" Derek scoffs. He pushes against the arm he holds tightly, releasing it as she begins to stumble and falls to the floor, landing right where her phone did moments before. "No. It's over. I'm done with you."
She watches through blurred vision as he turns and exits the flat, shuddering as the door slams shut, and desperately hoping it doesn't draw her daughter out of her bed again.
With her legs out to her side, and her palms pressed against the floor to prop herself up, she feels anything but steady. How did she end up there? Obviously, she knows Derek pushed her down, but how did things get so bad, so quickly?
A single knock and the sound of the front door opening has her reaching for her phone and beginning to scramble to her feet.
"Cassidy, it's alright." She hears the soft voice of her next door neighbor try to reassure her, and she collapses back to the ground as Mrs. Clarkson's arms wrap around her shoulders, bringing her into a gentle embrace. "I heard the yelling, and the door slam shut."
"I'm… I'm sorr-"
"Sh. Sh. No need to be sorry. I wanted to make sure you're okay." A soft palm runs over Cassidy's hair and the peaceful gesture alerts her to her racing heart and labored breath.
"Cece… she woke… can you…"
"I'll go check on her." Mrs. Clarkson states, pushing herself up. "Is there someone you can call to come over?"
Cassidy nods, not having a specific person in mind, but giving the acknowledgement nonetheless. Her neighbor walks away, and as she hears the door quietly creak open, she turns her daze covered eyes to her device.
She sees her open messages, pressing the call button and holding the phone up to her ear.
"Uh oh. Is this a drunk dial? Or are you ringing to make more fun of me? Because I don't know if I can take much more tonight." Harry chuckles, and in any other situation, Cassidy knows she would be too.
"H-Harry…"
"Yes…?"
"I… I need…" She stutters, trying her hardest to voice any request, any thought, any comprehendible word to help him understand anything she's trying to say. Anything through the choked back wail that's threatening to push through.
"Cass… what is it? What's going on?" He asks, a concerned tone growing with each word.
"Derek… he…"
"What did he do? Where is he? Is he still there?" Shuffling can immediately be heard from the other end, and if Cassidy could put any extra thought into it, she would know he's putting shoes on.
"No." She whispers, feeling a mild amount of relief as she hears the beep of his car unlocking. But her breathing stays rapid and she clutches her chest with her free hand, as if to keep her heart in place.
"I'll be right there."
Her body begins to feel weak, her eyes begin to glaze over even more, and her hand drops down with a loose grasp on her phone. She hardly registers anything besides overwhelming dread and anxiety, though the feeling of her device leaving her hand can just barely be acknowledged. And then the faint sound of Harry's voice can ever so slightly be heard shouting through the speaker.
"Cass? Cass!"
"Hello?" Another voice speaks, gentle and calm, belonging to Mrs. Clarkson.
The muffled noise from their conversation fades into the background and Cassidy is left with the sound of her fast heartbeats and even faster breaths.
"It'll be alright. He's on his way." She hears beside her. "Harry's on his way."
[ flashback - May 2005 ]
Cassidy sits on her bed and giggles as she watches her best friend twirl around the room in one of the dresses they found in the closet.
"This one should work." Gemma asks, stopping her motions and posing in front of the full length mirror that is propped up against the wall. "You're sure you're okay with lending it to me?"
"Of course!" Cassidy exclaims. "That's what best friends are for."
"Exactly." Gemma winks in reflection, taking one last look at herself before turning around to face her friend. "I need to use the toilet, and I'll change in there too."
The noise of the bathroom door sounds out and Cassidy pushes herself off the mattress, bending down to begin tidying up the multitude of outfits that did not satisfy the specific look that Gemma was going for.
A sudden thud causes Cassidy to jump in place, and her happy, fun demeanor is replaced with anxiety as she hears two voices from the front of the house. From her mum and dad. That means, their happy, fun day is about to turn chaotic, and they need to get out of there. Fast.
"No, no, no."
She drops the clothes and bursts out of her bedroom to the door across the way, bringing her fist up to gently, but vigorously, knock on the wood.
"Gem." She whispers, keeping her words and actions as quiet as possible. "Gemma."
"Alright. Alright. Hold on." She hears in a response, an unknowingly chuckle accompanying the words.
"Gemma. We've… we've got to go."
The door swings open, and Cassidy sees her best friend's curious yet playful expression turn to one of concern as loud voices begin to fill the house.
"What's-"
She's not even sure what her main concern is at this moment, but what she does know is that she wants to get out of there. She needs to get out of there. They both do. She grabs her best friend's hand, motioning for her to keep quiet and begins to maneuver through the house to the back door, while the yelling only increases in volume and intensity.
As they arrive at their exit point, Cassidy's palm grips the doorknob, but she feels Gemma's hand squeeze her own as a sharp noise booms, quickly followed by quiet whimpers.
"You stupid cunt!" The deep voice of her father yells, accompanied by another sharp smack.
"Oh my god." Gemma whispers, and Cassidy's heart sinks as they sneak out of the house. She feels hurt, because she knows her mum is now in pain, and she feels embarrassed, because her best friend now knows it too.
They round the corner of the home, hands still gripped onto each other, and Cassidy lets out an exhausted, but relieved exhale as they reach the footpath out front.
"Umm, so…" She hears, turning to face her best friend, but unable to meet her gaze.
"That… that was awkward, right?" She chuckles, hoping to play it off as normal as possible. "Sorry you heard my parents… having a bit of a… a small disagreement…"
"That sounded like it was way more than a small disagreement, CJ." Gemma replies, her usual confidence taken over by compassionate caution.
"Oh, no. It was nothing."
"I heard him call her a… a cunt… and I heard him… hit her."
"It's… I mean, they just…" Cassidy sighs, choking back the tears in a last ditch effort to keep her composure, though she has the awareness that it's truly failing.
"CJ." Gemma mutters the statement of her name, and the dam breaks. Her hands fly up to her face, knowing her reaction has already been seen, yet still wanting to disappear into nothing. It's bad enough that those 'disagreements' even occur, but having her best friend hear it, know about it, makes it that much worse. And also, that much more real. When no one else knew, at least Cassidy could pretend it didn't happen at all, or that it was just a bad dream. But now? Now someone else knows, now she can't hide it, and now she has to face the truth.
"Please don't tell anyone."
"Well…" Gemma begins, grabbing her friend's shoulders. "I think we should… can I at least tell my parents? Maybe they'll, like, let you stay over."
Cassidy looks right at her best friend, practically her sister, and finds the sincerest and most compassionate of expressions she's ever come across. She can only imagine how much deeper they would be from Anne and Robin. Though the thought of anyone knowing her secret terrified her before, something about Gemma, Anne, and Robin knowing makes her feel at ease. If she wanted anyone to know, it would be them. The family she's basically growing up with now as her own.
"Okay." She agrees, feeling nervous yet comfortable with the decision. "Just, please, don't tell your brother."
[ present - August 2020 ]
Cassidy can't tell if it has felt like mere seconds, or a full hour since Derek had stormed out, so the new knock at the door sends a shiver over her body.
It creaks open, and Cassidy glances over from her spot on the sofa to see Mrs. Clarkson standing cautiously in the small gap she has made between the door and the frame.
"Hello." She states solemnly.
"Hi. I'm Harry." He replies quickly, almost an urgency to his greeting.
The neighbor nods and opens the space wide enough for him to enter the flat. As soon as Cassidy sees his short tousled curls, the small amount of sweat framing his face, and the terrified anger shooting through the greens of his eyes, her gaze immediately falls down to her pathetically shaky hands.
The fragrance of his cologne hits her first, swiftly followed by the warmth of his palms on her thighs.
"Cass." Harry exhales, lifting her chin with his finger, and she looks up to find his gaze flickering all over her face at a desperate speed. His fingers push her hair back on each side, and his thumbs brush over her skin as if searching for the answers. "Are you alright?"
Her brow furrows in uncertainty of how to answer. Sure, she is physically fine, despite the pending bruise that will most likely form from Derek's tight grip on her arm. But her heart, mind, and soul are in pieces. Not over Derek, per say. No, what hurts is the fact that this happened at all, that she let it happen, that she didn't see it coming in the first place. What hurts is that she has been in that situation before, years ago as a child, and still saw no signs in her most recent relationship. But what hurts the most, is the thought of what might have happened if her daughter had not stayed in her room.
"Cass. Breathe with me. Inhale for ten, remember?" His soft voice encourages, though the perceived gentle tone is wrapped with wavering confidence. "Cassidy… please, breathe with me."
Would Cecelia have seen what was happening, and understood? Would Derek have hurt her even more with her daughter present? Would he have hurt her daughter?
Pain and guilt strike every nerve in her body. She, of all people, should have seen signs. She, of all people, should have been able to avoid that situation. She, of all people, should have been able to keep that potential danger out of her child's life.
"C-... Cece…"
"Cece is fine. She's asleep. Mrs. Clarkson just checked on her before she left." She hears the words, though muffled by her racing thoughts. Warmth covers her cheeks again and her head begins to tilt by Harry's hand, raising her blurry gaze to find one of pure concern. "Cass, look at me. Cece is fine."
"I… let… let him… around her." She begins, eyes filling, unbelievably, with even more tears. "I let him… around my daughter!"
A silence fills the room, leaving only Harry's calm breaths left to encourage the regulation of her own. The heat on her cheeks travels to her hands, and she looks down to see them wrapped up in his.
"Inhale for ten." He whispers, taking a breath with her. "And let it out."
"I'm-"
"Please, love. Breathe." He demands in the most tender way, causing her gaze to shoot back up to his. "Breathe with me."
She nods, taking in air with Harry and holding it in as he holds her hands.
"I'm so… stupid." She states, releasing an exhale as she finally feels her lungs open and her chest release the tight hold it has around her heart.
"You're not stupid."
"I should have known." Her brow furrows, an anger towards herself rising to replace her panic as she catches more breaths. "And what's worse? I liked him. I mean… there were things that bugged me, things I questioned a little… but I kept seeing him!"
Harry's hands squeeze her own, so subtly, and she hears his throat clear as he pulls them away. His body moves around and takes a seat beside her, his elbows resting on his knees with his hands clasped together.
"You just… wanted someone… to share life with." He utters sombrely.
"The wrong someone."
"They're all 'the wrong someone' until we find the right one…" He states, a little chuckle following his words, clearly a little pleased with how philosophical his statement came across.
Cassidy releases an amused exhale and feels the tension of her body begin to loosen.
"And even then…" He adds, giving a small yet noticeable shrug. "Love is… complicated."
"I wasn't in love." She instantly replies, certain of that fact, even with the night's events aside. "I've… I've actually never been in love."
Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Harry's posture straighten and his gaze shoot over to her.
"Really?"
She is unsure as to why, but his sudden reaction and the following question have her feeling embarrassment flood over her.
"Have you?"
"I think so." He replies, his hand reaching up and fingers readjusting the clip on his curls.
"Isn't that something you should know?" She asks, watching as his lips pull inward, and noticing something she has very rarely seen in him, if at all. Vulnerability.
"Is it really love if…" He releases a subtle sigh, and as she looks over, she sees him begin to twist his fingers of one hand around those of the other, as if his rings were still adorning them. "If… it's not reciprocated?"
Cassidy opens her mouth with nothing to say. She's never felt that way about somebody. Anybody. The relationship that should have been her example for love had all but destroyed the hopes she had for finding it. She may not even know how to do it properly. Then when Cecelia came along, there wasn't really a need for it. Though that is a different love. Nonetheless, she feels sad for Harry. Knowing how generous and caring he is with his friends and family, with her and Cecelia, she can only imagine how much more he would give to someone he felt that strongly for. And for it to not be returned? She's surprised he hasn't given up hope. She sure wants to, the little she even had to begin with.
"You… probably shouldn't ask me…" She utters, wrapping her arms around to hold herself, and staring down as her fingers gently run over the large red mark that's been left behind.
"Okay. I won't." He states suddenly, slapping his palms against his thighs and pushing himself off of the sofa. Cassidy looks up to him with surprise and curiosity, seeing the formation of a mischievous little smirk. "I'll make us some tea instead."
He walks into the kitchen, doing his best not to clang things around as he retrieves two tea cups from the cabinet and adds water to the kettle.
"You know what though? We're forgetting something…"
"And what's that?" Cassidy asks, repositioning herself to get him into view.
"We are married."
Her eyebrow instantly raises, and her eyes flicker all over the room in an attempt to gather some sort of clarification, though obviously unable to do so.
"I'm sorry… what?"
"Shit. I'm an idiot." He replies sheepishly, a pink hue evident under the kitchen lights. "Of course, you don't remember."
"Remember what?" She inquires, only to be met with a timid shake of his head as the colour on his cheeks grows brighter. "Clue me in, Harry."
"Nope, there's been too many trips down memory lane recently, most at my expense."
"No, you have to tell me! Please?" She asks, channeling the sweetest her daughter uses whenever she needs persuasion to tip the scales in her favour.
He closes his eyes and pulls his lips inward, and Cassidy can't help but giggle under her breath as she watches him prepare to respond.
"Alright. Well, one afternoon, when we were kids… you and Gem were playing fairies." He shares, followed by a sort of grunt as he takes in a breath to divulge more. "Gem wanted to have this elaborate fairy wedding, so she made you the princess… the bride… but you needed a groom. So she found me and-"
"Dressed you up to be the fairy prince!" Cassidy exclaims, immediately covering her mouth in an effort to quiet her new excitement. "I do remember now! Didn't she put glitter all over your face?"
"I was hoping you wouldn't remember that specific detail…" He gripes, pouring the hot water into the cups, and lifting them as he starts to walk back to the sofa. He hands the hot beverage to Cassidy, and carefully lowers himself back down next to her, taking a sip of his tea before resting it down on the table in front of him.
"Well, the wedding was pretty magical." She states. Harry lifts his head, turning it slightly towards her with a proud smile stretched across his face.
"Bit of a rocky marriage though." He points out, and Cassidy's jaw drops dramatically as she swats his arm, causing his hands to be thrown up in surrender.
"That's because the prince was, and still is, kind of a twat."
Harry mimics her offended reaction, his hand flying to this against his chest, as if physically pained by her insult.
"The princess is still kind of a pain in the ass herself."
"Well, thank goodness it wasn't official!"
"Umm, excuse me, but if I remember correctly, the ceremony was done with a magic wand." He states, so matter-of-fact. "That's binding."
"Oh bloody hell." She replies, pinching the bridge of her nose, annoyed but mostly amused by the declaration.
"You're stuck with me, Cass." Harry grins, most likely from his perceived triumph of the argument, yet Cassidy can't help but feel as if he is happy with the sentiment as well. With the notion that she has to put up with him and have him around, in some capacity, forever.
She wants to lean into her instincts and make some jab about how she regrets ever putting on the fairy tutu Gemma had made her wear. But as she focuses on the green of his eyes, she feels a heat run up her neck and hit the apples of her cheeks. She's flattered by his desire to continue to be friends throughout the rest of their lives, and she has to agree that she wants the same. Despite all of their childhood torment of each other, he truly has become one of her best friends, and she can't really envision him not being around. For her and for Cecelia.
A sudden thud from the corridor outside of her flat causes Cassidy's gaze to shoot over to the front door, her lungs to gasp, her arm to swiftly stretch out to her side, and her hand to latch right onto Harry's thigh.
"Hey, it's alright." She hears him say softly, her eyes unable to focus on anything but the front door. One strong, warm palm sets on top of hers, the other begins to run up and down her back, tearing her gaze away and back onto the man beside her. The friend beside her. "You're alright."
She feels her expression go from panicked to pained, and she feels hot tears trickling down her cheeks. Another feeling, an odd feeling, begins to overwhelm her, as if her body is being pulled between alarmed tension and settled ease. The noise outside has clearly triggered an unfortunately familiar response, and yet somehow it is also being so effortlessly drawn to a comforted state. By Harry.
"Would you like me to stay for a bit? We can watch a show or something."
Cassidy nods, still feeling the adrenaline coursing through her veins, though the intensity is decreasing as she watches Harry's caring gaze stay fixed on her, almost displaying relief with her unspoken response.
"Okay, then." He replies, pulling his lips inward, attempting to disguise a small smile that still manages to peek through by the corners of his mouth. He leans forward, grabbing the remote, and settling back into the cushions as he turns the television on.
Cassidy watches him while he scrolls, and something about such a mundane moment begins to bring her a slight amount of peace. She realizes that he seems to be one of the people, one of only a few people, who does that for her. Who actually can do that for her. And she needs all the peace she can get right now.
"Harry?" She practically whispers.
"Yes?" He replies, the light of the screen brightening his face and reflecting in his eyes as he scrolls through the viewing options.
"Would… would you… maybe, also…" She utters, clearing her throat to gain some volume, and confidence, for her next request. "Stay the night?"
His head immediately turns to her, his eyes wide, yet leaving her unable to determine what emotion is behind them. What thoughts could be causing them to react that way.
"Of course I will!" He exclaims, and more tears start to gather on her lash line at how quickly he answered, and how willing he is to do what she wants. What she needs.
He turns away, reaching to the other side of him, and twists back with one of her large blankets in hand. Cassidy scoots closer to Harry as he holds it up for her, allowing him to place the blanket on both of their laps. His arm stretches behind her on the back on the sofa, and without thinking, she leans into him, the movement of their adjustments causing her senses to be hit with his scent. It's the same as it's always been, but tonight it includes an increased, soothing element.
A few muffled noises outside momentarily grab her attention, her head slightly pointing in the direction of their origin on the other side of her front door. She lets out an exhale, louder than intended, and then feels the slightest squeeze around her shoulders.
"Are you alright? Comfortable?"
"As much as I can be, I suppose." She chuckles, accompanied by a scoff of disappointment and frustration, wishing she was able to truly calm down.
"You can… sit back up if you need to…" He utters, and she feels him begin to slowly pull away. "I can grab another blanket, or-"
She sits up, but only slightly, and only so she can meet the green eyes that are now filled with concern and uncertainty.
"No, it's not that. I just… I just don't know if I'll be able to relax fully here." She responds with a sigh, acknowledging that the events of the evening have taken their toll on her physical and mental state.
"Stay with me, then."
"What?"
"Come stay at my place."
"Harry, it's way too late." She states, confused as to his thought process behind the suggestion. "And Cece is sleeping."
"Not tonight." He replies, a bit of amusement to his tone. "Tomorrow. Pack up some things for the both of you, and just spend a few days there."
"I don't know. I don't want to impose-"
"You're not. I offered." He interrupts, seemingly annoyed yet entertained by her attempt to not inconvenience him, despite his constant reminders that she's not. This situation just feels a bit different for her. He's not responsible for making this situation any better. Yet, here he is, doing just that.
"And it's very sweet." She smiles, unintentionally, and feels a heat on her cheeks as he smiles back. "But also unnecessary. We'll be okay."
"Truth be told… I need it." He begins, bringing his balled up fist to his mouth as he clears his throat. "I won't be able to fully relax, unless I can see it… see that you're okay."
Cassidy is instantly hit with so many things at once. Her lips shut tight as she tries to swallow the lump that has instantly formed in her throat, her face tingles with the vibrant blush that has suddenly spread from her cheeks, and her abdomen tightens with something she can't quite understand.
"It would help me." He utters, a sudden timidity taking over the confidence he first used with his suggestion. "You don't have to."
"Well-" She tries to speak.
What is this feeling? What is going on in the pit of her stomach?
"But I'd like you to."
It's butterflies.
"Okay." She accepts, feeling her heart race with positivity, for the first time tonight. "If you insist."
Series Masterlist
•••
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“I took that picture in Italy because he was doing his Gucci campaign and it was a really exhausting day and we flew straight to Italy, walking a lot, shooting a lot. Everyone was falling asleep. He was just having a quiet time there.” - Hélène sharing some stories behind her photos of Harry on the Straight Up podcast.
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