Annette Oden @annetteoden - Tumblr Blog

Points of Light

Conundrums, Contrivances and Contentment: PART 2

Quite some time ago, I began asking questions of the Lord in our daily conversations about relationships. Content to wait and hear in time, I’ve continued to think about it. He’s faithful. I knew He would answer. I knew it would take time. We’d need to talk it out.

The questions that were top of mind were about family. Why was I born into this family? Why did I marry into the this particular family? What about my work families? What’s my divine purpose? Am I accomplishing it? I often felt that part of my purpose was to champion family members. Whether or not they knew it, I was intentionally choosing to believe the best and to act in faith. My choice is as unto the Lord and their responses -- or even an occasional lack of response -- are completely beside the point. I’ve chosen to trust God in them. And I was right to do it. The strength of my family relationships is one of the great joys of my life. When they have not gone as well as I’d like them to, I’ve been distressed. My husband and children will attest to it.

I don’t have all the answers to the questions I’ve been asking yet --- but I do have some of them. At least for today. He will give more revelation; I’m confident of it.

Recently, I heard (in my spirit --- I’ve never heard the audible voice of God to be clear), “The weight of their choices is theirs. Everyone has free will and they (like you) will choose how they interact. They will choose the depth of their relationships and determine the value of each one just as you do. Sometimes you’ll see how not to do it. Stay in peace.” There was more -- much more -- but that’s the gist of it.

I will go to great lengths in relationships. Most interactions matter to me. I’m finding more and more that I’m a square peg in a round hole. Caring deeply is not a hot item these days and loyalty has been redefined so I’m crazy-grateful for the revelation of the Lord that changed my heart and my perceptions. I’m grateful for my Heavenly Father; He listens when I talk and He talks when I listen. I’m back to peace. It feels like my best day in a cozy place with people who are easy to like and where I can close the door on all the noise of relationships I’m not called to in this season.

Staying in deep relationship with the Lord Jesus, I know I’ll get more answers to the questions I’m asking.

As a young mother, I learned I often needed to call my children’s names then wait for their full attention before saying anything else. Sometimes -- especially with important questions -- I believe God will wait to answer till He has my full attention and often as we continue in the conversation. As I stay in it, He takes me deeper. Sometimes I realize the question I asked wasn’t really even the question. It can take time and it is *always worth it. Ask Him your questions. Do the last thing you know you heard Him say and stay in peace (that’s a choice).

#revelation #relationships #questions #answers #family #friends #grateful

#conversation #faith

Red Plastic Plates

Many years ago at Christmas time, my family and I went to my husband’s grandfather’s house to celebrate the holiday with that part of our family. His grandmother had died and this was our first Christmas without her. It was different that year. We were trying to fill the void she’d left and celebrate the season “as usual” at Papa’s house. We’re blessed with great cooks on both sides of our family and the food was as bountiful and delicious as always. That year someone had bought packages of shiny, red plastic plates and cups with disposable flatware so that no one would be in the kitchen washing all the dishes we used as we shared the day.

After we ate the family wanted to go to the cemetery and take flowers to Granny’s grave --- everyone wanted to go except Papa. He said he’d rather stay home and clean up. Right away I offered to stay and help him. For whatever reason, he didn’t want to go and I was glad to do whatever he wanted. In just a few minutes everybody left and Papa and I went to the kitchen. That’s when he said, “Hon, let’s wash these plates...we can use them again next year.”

“Ok, Papa!”...

I would have done anything he wanted but secretly I thought it was funny! I smiled and we chatted easily about everything and everybody as I washed and rinsed and he dried and put away every single one of those plates. As it turned out, that was our last Christmas together in his home. By the time “next year” rolled around, Papa didn’t live in our town anymore and those plates had long since been thrown away.

Someone in our family had planned to make clean up quick and easy. They were giving our family time to just be together without any wasted time or energy on washing dishes. These were inexpensive plastic plates! Clearly, the idea was to just throw it all away but Papa wanted to wash and use them again and I wanted to make him happy. We did it together.

It wasn’t time wasted because I had precious time with him that I wouldn’t have had otherwise but I never forgot that day and today on John’s and my 31st wedding anniversary it has given me pause...

I could tell you all the wonderful things John and I have experienced together, could share all the moments over the years when he has *loved (that’s a verb) me to life, encouraged me, made me laugh, sacrificed for me, for our marriage, for our children, for our LIFE. There’s been so much fun and so many funny moments throughout our marriage to this point and there will be more! I’ve been in love with him since two weeks after we meet and we were married ten months after that day.

Perspective

From before time began, John was the one person God intended me to do life with --- to share ministry with --- to bring children into the world and to love people everywhere we find them to life together.

John and Annette Oden = not shiny, red plastic plates

In fact, in God’s eyes and with His purpose, we’re even more valuable than the beautiful Noritake china we picked out together more than 31 years ago that rests in our china cabinet today.

We were never intended to be a throw away item. Our attraction and love drew us together from the first moment our eyes met but we are forever. Our life together is meant to be impactful. Through our children, through our efforts in this life, through the family and friends we get to know and love, our marriage has a forever purpose. So, on this beautiful fall anniversary day in 2016, I’m grateful beyond anything I can say that God in His grace brought *this man into my life. I’m delighted that He created me for John and John for me to fulfill His eternal purposes in the earth. Whether we have a lot or a little I never have been able to get past this perspective: this part of life is temporary. So much about this life is a shiny red, plastic plate but the impact we can have together can be forever. If we live it that way. If we do the things that count.

Here’s to another year of fun and purpose with you, My Love!

In this age of throw away *everything, I’m delighted to be Mrs. Oden for 31 years and counting.

#heavenspurpose covenantmarriage

Since It’s Just You and Me...

Full disclosure: It's about to get real in here...

There was a season of my life -- ok, since it's just you and me I'll tell you --- it was YEARS -- where I found myself going around the same mountain over and over again. In desperate prayer one day I cried out to the Lord, "WHY?!!!" His answer was not that surprising in the rearview. He said, "You're so uncomfortable with any discomfort that you jump out of it before My work is through. Be still. I am at work."

I'd been hearing the word "rest" for a long, long time in that season but I could never get to it. I wanted real rest desperately - the kind you feel on the inside because you allow yourself to slow down and only do what you hear Him say...until it got weird and I began feeling alone or unnecessary or [insert negative devalued emotion here]. There was too much time to think and not all those thoughts were of how great everything was going in the places and with the people who mattered to me... so I jumped back into my overly busy life! This "rest" was clearly not for me. It was *so uncomfortable. In busyness I could be productive! In this society, we value productivity over just about everything else so it was an easy "fix"... except I could still hear Him calling to me that there was more...

I wanted the "more". I wanted this elusive REST. I wanted peace and quietness in my spirit but I did not know how to get there. Even when I said "no" to opportunities and ideas, I felt uneasy about it.

It was only when the perfect storm hit in my life that I had nowhere to go but to rest. In the days and weeks and months that followed, I did the hard work of disciplining myself to practice resting in Him. I invited Holy Spirit into that place to quiet me, to heal, to speak, to lead me. I had to learn to resist the urge to *do and lean into simply *being. Sound simple? It wasn't. But it was possible. It was worth it.

On the other side [of that particular struggle] now I can look you in the eye and tell you this: God *absolutely knows the plans He has for us and they are good indeed. Healing and change is possible right now. Do the hard work of disciplining yourself and pressing in to whatever-it-is you need in your life. Step into healing. It will be worth the fight! We always win when we don't quit. At the end? There is REST. <3 #gracelikerain #thetransparentlife

The Homestretch

Don’t quit today! You’ve come too far, worked too hard, invested too much to let it all go now. Most people give up *just before* they would have won. Don’t let “most people” be you. It is worth the stretch! \o/

#theextraordinarylife #faith

It's "the morning!"

We can get so fixated on "the problem" that we don't stop to celebrate the milestones along the way to our miracle. We can live so scared for so long that we forget to breathe even on days when the skies are clearing, the sun is out and life is good! Ask God to help you today. Don't live today in light of yesterday but in the light of the newness He's continually bringing. Living in the past will drag you down. It will keep you from moving to "the morning" you've counted on. The joy you're looking for is very likely right in front of you. Open your eyes! It's "the morning!"

Real

I haven't been able to get away from hearing the Lord say, "Those who are well-loved bear the marks of it." In the past few days, I've pondered it often and now I realize why it struck such a chord with me: it's because it reminds me of one of my favorite stories ever! It's a story I read to all three of our children all the time when they were little. I probably loved reading it to them even more than they loved hearing it. Yep. The Velveteen Rabbit and I appear to have much in common. Consider this,

"Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.' Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit. Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.' Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?' It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." — Margery Williams Bianco (The Velveteen Rabbit)

Just to be clear, I SO hope the hair thing doesn't happen. And I'm not the least bit interested in being shabby. But REAL? I'm IN. Let's go.

Sorry. Not Sorry.

Everybody has regrets, but it occurs to me that there are a few things for which I have never been sorry...for instance, I have * Never been sorry for loving hard * Never wished I had been less committed * Never wished I'd thought smaller * Never regretted supporting and protecting my family, in good times and in challenging times * Never been sorry for laughing so often (though occasionally, it probably shouldn't have been so loud! :) * Never wished I'd held onto offenses * Never regretted the good choices I've intentionally made even when they've come with some cost * Never wished I'd prayed less or that my faith had been smaller * Never regretted choosing Jesus If Do-Overs were an option, I would have certainly chosen that from time to time over the past 50+ years. In fact, in some areas of our lives, God *always gives us a Do-Over till we get it right. :) You've probably experienced that...whether you realized it at the time or not.

Mistakes have been made, perfection has not been achieved and I'm still in process. God is always at work in my life and can I just tell you??? I am so grateful! Give the grace you need today and live in a way you will not regret tomorrow. I think God-in-us is more than enough to accomplish exactly that.

Conundrums, Contrivances and Contentment

There are questions I've been turning around and around in my head for several years and I've finally decided to give in and study them out. I'd like to hear God as I journey through these questions…

Why are people born into a certain family? What is our impact on this particular group of people? Do I have to learn to occupy my space within this God-chosen, original group into which I was born before I can fulfill my larger place in the world? What's my purpose with them? What about the family I marry into? What about our children? If I don't get with God and get this part of life right, will He let me move into the fullness of the rest of His plans for me? I have questions... I think God really likes our questions. He always has. It means we're engaged, thinking, letting Christ be formed in us.

All my life I've pondered, studied, prayed and intentionally connected with the larger world so it has felt like all that came to a screeching halt when life suddenly didn't look like the story on my storyboard. There were plot twists and turns that I hadn't counted on. I couldn't control the outcomes anymore than I could control the characters in it. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad (some of it was) but it was…unexpected…yes, that's the word for it. Unexpected. Repeatedly. In different branches of my family, both close and extended, it was like life was taking on a life of it's own. I wanted to flick the lights off and on to get everybody's attention and get them back on script, only real life doesn't work like that. There was nothing to do but get quiet and rest and go deeper with the only One who had any answers for all of it.

It's about to get real in here, friends. If you're not up for that, probably best to just put on your sunglasses, pretend you weren't here and whistle on your way. I'm ok with that and I think God's big enough for our questions, that He knows our way, that He *is* the Way and that He wants us to sit with Him for days, weeks, months, years on end in ongoing, eye to eye, heart to heart conversation.

So, I'm on a journey I intend to share with you. I'm going deeper, more intentionally and thoughtfully, reading scripture and historical accounts to look at the lives of real people and I'm especially interested in the moments of their calling in life, what their families thought of these storied though entirely real people of the Bible before they "became" and what they went on to accomplish. How did heroes of the faith -- in the Bible and in later days -- interact with their families once they were operating in their larger purpose? Can we find continuity in their mindsets? As they struggled, what was their response? How did they find redemption in and through their families and through their struggles?

My hypothesis is that as we study, we'll find parallels to life and family. I think God uses our families to sand, smooth, polish and redeem us to Himself and for greater blessing to the Kingdom. I think there's probably supposed to be mutuality involved but I don't think we can force each other's growth and forward motion for our own expediency. The only question I'm asking at the core of this thing is, "How am I supposed to behave, feel, respond with my family members?" Without regard to anything about them, what is my responsibility? And before my grace-filled friends jump over that word "responsibility", we do have to bear the weight of it. It's just that in Christ, it won't feel heavy. God says there's rest for our souls when we learn from Him. I've decided. I'm definitely gonna.

If you want to come along, you are welcome here. I'm in my husband's big green chair with my feet up, my favorite mug steaming with hot tea on the table beside me, and my Macbook on my lap where my Bible study tools and my writing reside. Leaning in to rest and learning from Him has been a journey, [clearly, one I'm still undertaking] but it is worth the effort. I will journey on.

Guard Your Heart

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

When people show little regard for your feelings, communicate poorly, act selfishly with their eyes only on themselves and their own little world, pay attention: the enemy crouches at your door. His hope is that you will feel deeply wounded, intentionally valued as less and let it guide *your actions. He wants to affect your heart. GUARD IT for from it flows your life. You are hidden with God in Christ Jesus so scooch up close to Jesus and fasten your eyes on His. Know how deeply you are loved. Let Him fight the battle; the burden of it was never yours anyway. ‪#followPeace #staythere

Seeing the Dream

“I couldn’t see it, I couldn’t envision it but I knew we had to keep talking about it.” – Dave Ezell

Mr. Ezell was talking about his 9 month old twin sons who are finally going home from the hospital! Born conjoined from chest to belly, then separated at one month old, his babies have beaten the odds. They have survived and are thriving. They finally get to go home and be a family! He and his wife have a reason to celebrate! He understands pushing forward against all odds. He knows by experience something we need to grab and hold onto for dear life: the importance of dreaming of what could be when we just won’t give up. Though their twins are still in process of getting to 100%, now he can see that they will get there. Even when he couldn’t see it, he and his wife never stopped talking about the day they would get to take them home. For me, that spotlights the importance of dreaming and believing out loud with your spouse or significant other even before you can truly see it…

Do you have trouble seeing what isn’t there yet? Sometimes I do. I need to dream out loud with my husband about those things that are in our hearts. I need to do it even if I can’t truthfully see it yet. I wonder what it is that’s before you --- the things you want --- the things you need --- that you can’t see yet? What do you want desperately but if you are honest today, you can’t see it and you’re not talking about it. Maybe you’re not talking about it because deep inside you feel it would just be too painful if it doesn’t happen and if you don’t talk about it, it might hurt less when it doesn’t happen... Is it your family whole again? Your marriage restored? Is it a career you love that doesn’t feel like a job? Is it financial stability? For some, it’s a child. Infertility affects so many wonderful people. Maybe for you, it’s your health restored, your energy returning, your joy realized.

Whatever “it” is for you, take Mr. Ezell’s advice: talk about it and keep talking about it with your spouse or significant other. Read about it. Pray about it (prayer is just talking and listening to God, right?). Encourage yourself in the Lord and never, ever quit. Vision is a beautiful, empowering strength in your life. Take a few minutes and see what the Bible has to say on the subject. Check out Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary. Write the verses that speak to you. Let’s wait for it…let’s talk about it…until we can see.

Plan or Fail

There's really no middle ground. If you want to feel that your next project, production or work went well after it's over, plan now. There will always be a price for excellence. Part of the price is spending dedicated time to thorough planning. Everybody's busy and everybody has the same 24 hours in a day so prioritize and don't make excuses. They do not lead to success.

#MCM Love that man of mine!

#mcm

#SpringintheSouth #homesweethome

#springinthesouth #homesweethome

Smiling In All the Wrong Places

The Bible is filled with powerful scriptures. Truth is there to be claimed. Every word is inspired and written for us. I believe it. Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Be anxious for nothing." That scripture has been burned into my mind for as long as I can remember. Over time I've learned that I can indeed take (almost) every thought captive to the power of Christ (most of the time). 2 Corinthians 2:5 That scripture actually comes with no amendments and nothing in parethensis, but if I'm being real, that is the truth of it for me some days. Like you, I'm still in the process of sanctification and aware of how far I have to go before my life aligns perfectly with the inspired Word of God.

Twice in as many months, I've gone to bed anxious over a coming event, a next-day kind of thing, tossing and turning as I've tried to fall asleep and grateful when sleep finally came. I know scripture. I understand my responsibility is to rest. I know God is my covenant partner. I get it that I'm nobody's savior…and yet…and yet…and yet...

Something remarkable has happened on both of those two aforementioned restless nights. Something so truly, ridiculously GOD that I haven't spoken of it, even to my husband. It feels holy. I've held it close and enjoyed the warmth of it. Today felt like the time to pull back the covers and let you see the beauty of my God. To share His extravagant goodness. To speak of a love so incredible that it still surprises me.

On both of those nights I've awakened at 2:30 in the morning, SMILING. Every fear and every anxiety GONE. Grinning from ear to ear. With a sweet blanket of peace covering me, tucking me in so completely that I feel snuggled by it and with a deep knowing that the situation over which I'd let myself become anxious would be well. This has been no glimmer of hope. This was a deeply settled assurance that nothing could shake. I woke up again at various intervals throughout the rest of those two nights experiencing the same rest and JOY over and over again. There was no human reasoning behind why I felt so changed; only the knowledge that while I slept, my God had been singing over my spirit and in so doing had changed everything. Somehow as I rested, He had worked in me causing me both to desire and to do things that please Him. Philippians 2:13 The thing He wanted me to do? Rest. Simply rest in His goodness. Rest in the full knowledge that He knew where we were and that we would never be alone.

The circumstances I'd been stressing over had not changed; we still had to walk through the days that followed those nights but I knew deep in my knower that it would all right. And it was. There was no good reason to smile. It would be inappropriate to smile under such duress. There was every human reason to be anxious. Until suddenly there He was, stepping into my moment of distress. Saving the day before the day came. (Just between you and me, I think Gideon and I would have been friends. I'm just saying. Judges 7)

I'm grateful we can embrace the mystery of Christ; I'm happy to know we don't have to worry about understanding it all. I'm glad for every moment He gives when I can smile for real -- in the face of adversity -- because if God says, "It's all right.", it's all right. We can trust Him.

Deeper Still

Pain often brings about change. Sometimes songs are born - at least the nugget of a song is born - in those moments. The only thing that really births a new thing is hard, prayerful, thoughtful work. Just like every encouraging, beautiful thing that is brought forth in the earth, your "song" will get it's strong start in that place of pain and hard work.

If you're in a moment of pain, don't let it be for nothing. Let God birth something new in your life. Whatever your gift, God will grow it in pain in ways it is seldom grown by joy. I don't pretend to understand the why of the whole thing. I just know by experience that it is true. If we can settle once and for all that God is good and embrace the mystery of Christ, the why won't matter so much.

Get still. Settle into the place you find yourself. We are often so uncomfortable in silence, so quick to jump out of any moment of discomfort that His work in us is interrupted. We find ourselves repeating a lesson again and again because by His mercy He gives us lots of opportunities to come to a new understanding. To grow again.

God's doing a new thing all the time. When that opportunity for growth & new understanding comes to you, see it with grateful eyes. He's taking us deeper still. In the joy, in the pain and in every moment in between.

In the Moment

Not where you thought you'd be today? Wondering what's next? Let me encourage you: be *here today. In this moment. There's a lot of peace right here if you shake yourself for just a sec to see it.

God's got your future. He's even got your day. It's enough just to be in this moment. Make the next right choice and move on. Jeremiah 29:11 is still true.

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Annette Oden