Tamed.

An escape. Short stories, poetries, and ideas for other stories. A way to express myself and let go of the burdens that trap me and drive my mind to wild.

[antmrankings]

This season feels less like 'America's next top model' and more like 'America's next top social media presence'

It’s been like this since Cycle 17. This show hasn’t been about legit modeling in years. This is nothing new.

[antmnonesene]

Tbf to cycles 19-22 they borrowed the same ideas from Australia's next top model since they have a better success rate. The gimmicks added in was what took it away from modeling but there is a reason there are more success stories from those cycles than any other.

[antmnonesene]

horror movie opening scene

white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.

white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.

white girl: you're just trying to scare me.

white boy: lmao

they continue walking for a few seconds

*white couple hears noise*

white girl: babe what that??

white boy: i'll go investigate

*leaves her alone*

*choking noises*

white girl: zack!!!

white boy: ha ha just kidding!

white girl: asshole!

white boy: im just playin babe

white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute

*playful kiss*

*things turn sexy*

*hear noise*

white boy: i'll go investigate

*he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*

*maybe a thud*

white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!

*she walks and he dead*

white girl: ahhh!!

*killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*

white girl: ahhh!!!

*white girl runs*

*dead end*

*hides*

*thinks she free n safe*

*guy catches her*

*cuts her*

*she dead*

opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

[antmnonesene]

tumblr deleted my ranking post and it was so long and im super pissed

[antmnonesene]

I'm about to rank 18 and most of the Kelly cutrone seasons. I have such a polarizing opinion on her it'll be interesting to see what the fandom and my followers think and how y'all feel about me afterwards

[antmnonesene]

From Worst to Best an absolute ranking of 23 cycles of Top Model

#17 cycle 14

DRECKITUDE!

This man is the number 1 reason this cycle is as high as it is on my list because this cycle is irritating as hell.

the problem with cycle 14 is that it tried to hard to be high fashion. The photoshoots were good but, there was a mix of high fashion and tacky. Because it was going into high fashion mode but, not yet there so it just sort of fell flat. There was no real direction so the cycle fell apart. 

I do like that this cycle was full of villains because you really had to focus on the work and not likability. So you got a real taste of who was good and who wasnt. 

This group of models was damn good. 

elimination order was spot on aside from one

The drama was high and that made it entertaining but, that also hurts the season. The girls were more entertaining for fighing rather than pictures but, then again that was the fault of the photoshoots not the models.

I think the problem with this specific villains cycle is that the edit tried to hard to make some girls the good girls and some of them the bitchy girls. They were all bitcches but, trying to shove it down our throats that Raina was ‘such a nice girl’ when she was NOT as well as jessica made it irritating. I was rooting for miss 716 and her boo Krista because you can see that the are who they are with no excuses and no explanation. It was just annoying.because they weren’t exactly the nicest people either.

I just wanted more from this cycle and I didn’t get it and although it was decent I can think of a number of other ones that are better. Of course the next couple of entries as well as this one are ranked literally the same for me. They all had very similar problems that created an equality for them all. Not great, not terrible just sort of there. Cycles you don’t need to watch but, it’s not antm if you don’t watch them lol.

[antmnonesene]

18 Cycle 5

Oh Cycle 5 what you could have been. What you almost had.

Cycle 5 managed to produce one of the most successful models in history (Miss Bre) so it has that going for it. It also managed to make a reality star out of Lisa.

And it took the most plain looking girl and convinced the world she was a model.

(Really Tyra)

(She does look really brooke shields circa ‘nothing gets between me and my calvins’ here. though i don’t know if that’s actually her)

Cycle 5 had great photoshoot concepts but, executed poorly. It had great models but, mistreated by judges.

I mean Bre has a stellar portfolio but the panel really hated it and by default the fans fell for it.

Lisa probably should have won but, didn’t make top 5.

This panel saw the changing in judges from the very entertaining Janice D. To the plain Twiggy. Personally whiole Twiggy was much more gentle to watch and her kindness towards the other judges as well as the girls was great to see I felt that she was slightly short. Granted most of her seasons are ranked higher than most other seasons and almost all of janice seasons have bottomed out for me I find I liked Janice more.

She was brash but, she treated these girls like models. She treated them the way the modeling industry treated her and it gave a sense of realness  where as Twiggy treated them like reality show contestants.

I don’t hate cycle 5 but, it’s not great either. I mean they had some wonderful moments like this

Lisa made this cycle fantastic. She caused so many problems by being weird as fuck and it was a shame when she left.

The granolagate incident was so ridiculous. I loved how Bre rightfully called out Kim for being an instigator and I loved that she learned her lesson.

This cycle had all the potential but sort of fell flat. It just seemed the panel was more entertaining than the photoshoots and that should never be the case. Weak talent aside from Nik, Lisa, and Bre, lame photoshoots, stupid commercials, and all around a bitter group of ladies just sort of made this cycle go ‘womp womp’ for me.

[antmnonesene]

Alex from cycle 14 was the plus sized winner we deserved and did not get

I will always resent top model for giving the win to whitney because “it was time for a plus sized girl to win” cause this meant they didn’t need another plus sized girl to win.

so of course Alex the real winner of cycle 14 goes home in an unfair double elimination. cause lets be real yeah krista is good but was she top model good? no. and raina has one damn look but that look is fierce and angelea yes had the worst photo that week but i think throughout the competition she had one of the strongest portfolios. 

the top two should have been alex and raina. sorry Krista.

>:( 

[antmnonesene]

rewatching cycle 14 as it’s coming up in my ranking

and can i just say i hate how angelea is portrayed.

i mean the amount of support and love she has for her girls her friends and how she wants them to succeed there’s no way that girl is a bad person.

i mean the girls she had problems with, raina, brenda, and jessica were not nice people at all. and the edit tried to make her seem like a bad guy but for those three girls to be constantly making fun of and talking smack about almost everyone no. they were the constant problem.

also i refuse to believe that sweet and nice laura (cycle 17 and 13) could be the closest to her during cycle 17 if she was this monster. as well as allison cause she was close with allison and allison was the only one to not sit there and say anything negative towards her in any regard. 

it just grinds me gears honestly.

[antmnonesene]

From Worst to Best an absolute ranking of 23 cycles of Top Model

#19 Cycle 2

Rounding out the Bottom 5 is Cycle 2. 

Cycle 2 is actually bumped up a little bit higher than I had it before. Initially it was in my bottom 3 but, I bumped it up twp spots because it was our intro to Nigel Barker. 

And even though it was Tyra’s show he was the quintessential top model judge.

Now my problems with cycle 2 could have landed this a middle of the road cycle. There was no real villain. I mean Camille was villainous at the time because it was cycle 2 and reality tv hadn’t created the ‘black bitch’ villain trope just yet. On today’s television she’d just be kind of annoying. There was no real hero as I felt Yoanna was a bit pretentious. Mercedes made it too far I think as she was too commercial. Shandi wasn’t the ugly duckling. Shandi was literally the ‘she took out her ponytail and took off her glasses and is now hot’ joke. Like seriously. The photoshoots were tacky as hell. 

And that one girl was late because none of the other girls woke her. That would never happen today. Hell that has never happened again. Whether it became a production rule or whether the girls later on in the cycles weren’t super assholes I don’t really know.

The reason why this ranks so low for me is two reasons.

1. I felt that the panel was really messy aside from nigel and tyra no one really had anything of value to add to the critiques. It was pretty strange. I mean one of the critiques was ‘i just don’t like it.’ and there was nothing constructive about that.

2. They made the light skin black girl go in full black face to portray grace jones. She was noticeably uncomfortable with this, quite devastated by this actually. And when she showed and voiced her concern for this tyra says ‘she was offended’ she was offended because the girl was not comfortable with it. Tyra believes that as a black woman she should have been grateful. Let’s take a moment to...let that sink in. 

(the woman in this picture is three shades lighter than this)

This was also the moment where Tyra let it be known that in this competition you cannot say no or you will not book jobs. She let all those young girls know and young aspiring models who watch the show know that in order to make it in the biz you are not allowed to say no until you’ve paid your dues. 

If that doesn’t fuck you up I don’t know what does.

[antmnonesene]

I’m still kind of annoyed by cycle 13 finale

Erin Wagner had one of the most stellar portfolios in ANTM history. She’s so memorable to me because of that damn portfolio. 

And it drives me so crazy that Laura beat her out into the finale because the picture they chose to bump laura in is so amateurish and just...unattractive.

And of course Erin was in the bottom two 3 weeks in a row prior to that but, that was total bs. The race switching photoshoot she had the best photo and laura actually had the worst. Yes her underwater photo was horrendous but I feel that Nicole’s underwater photo was one of the worst that week if not the worst and she should have been in the bottom with sundai. Sundai obviously going home. 

Honestly I feel that laura and erin were neck and neck throughout the competition but near the end erin was the better model. She was. though nicole was the undisputed winner of that cycle no one would beat her no matter what but, the final two should have been nicole and erin.

also I hate how cycle 13 is like ‘the first petite model ever’

like are we ignoring Eva the Diva or....?

[antmnonesene]

From Worst to Best an absolute ranking of 23 cycles of top model

#20 Cycle 13

I appreciated cycle 13 so much because I am so short. I was rooting for all of these girls even the super annoying ones. I wanted this cycle to work out so damn badly. And without Paulina’s Rude ass being there to make fun of the girls in the name of critique so far it was a great season. The photots were absolutely phenomenal the judgings were spot on. There was only one girl i felt stayed too long and one girl i felt was eliminated way too early which is saying something. In fact during my re-watch this was initially ranked in the top 10 if not top 5.

And then we got to the first week in Hawaii. And this went from top 5 to bottom 5.

If it wasn’t for this one damn week in the cycle this would be one of the best cycles. The top 5 was perfection. The top 4 was the best I’ve ever seen. Nicole was an amazing winner. I don’t care for Laura as I find her to be annoying not sweet but, her photos made up for it

but this damn week...

well let me show you the mess that was this week that ruined cycle 13

Changing the color of someone’s skin is one of the most disgusting things you can do for a photoshoot and this happens a few times on this show but never to the level it happened on cycle 13. Every single girl in cycle 13 in the top 6 changed races. Except Sundai...kind of.

Consider this a terrible cycle because of this display. Something I cannot and will not make a joke about.

[antmnonesene]

From Worst to Best, an absolute ranking of 23 cycles of top model

#21 Cycle 4

I don’t even wanna start writing about cycle 4 nor deal with it ever again. This cycle had the worst of everything. Naima while I will say is talented and better than other winners (whitney Thompson and Saleisha Stowers to name a few) she’s so forgettable. She’s a winner and she’s so damn forgettable. Every season there’s a forgettable girl but, every girl this cycle was forgettable except for Tiffany. And that’s not for the right reasons.

The problems with Cycle 4.

1. The photoshoots. The photoshoots looked like something a high school kid would do for his photo project portfolio at the end of the year. they were just tacky and uninspired. I mean there was a zodiac photoshoot and not in an ethereal way. 

And then there was one where they are dressed on animals and posing with alligators. Or the weird water one. Or the one with the cemetery. I mean they’re memorable because they’re terrible.

2. Panel was weird. Watching Janice and Nole fight was the highlight of cycle 4 because it was such a trainwreck. Tyra’s hair was still that awful red and just...she had the rachel ‘96. Also she screamed at Tiffany. She basically gave it away that she was setting up Tiffany to win and she was pissed that Tiffany refused to play her games. i mean she didn’t have to eliminate and scream at her. 

3. The personalities were boring and bland. It was weird how hard they were on Christina for being boring but all these hoes were boring. I mean Brittany is apparently a party girl but I have to re-watch the show twice to remember Brittany. The girls were just so hum drum. And maybe that’s because it came after cycle 3. a.k.a. The very First villains Cycle I don’t know but, it was boring.

4. Naima is...underwhelming

5. Keenyah’s “Naima isn’t black enough to enjoy africa or open nelson mandela’s cell” and the WHITE girl putting her in her place. That was terrible and I don’t even...know how or why Tyra didn’t get rid of Keenyah right there.

You know There’s only one other season that strikes me as hard as this one but, not bad enough to be the worst and that’s cycle 17. And even then cycle 17 ranks pretty high because it’s cast.

I don’t know what they were thinking this cycle actually.

[antmnonesene]

I am doing rankings right now and I will continue them but, I just wanna say RIP to KIM R. (cycle 10)

Kim was the ditzy blonde from cycle 10.

She didn’t believe in how costly it was to be fashionable and didn’t want to portray something fake. So she walked off the show.

She did some modeling here and there and actually had a fairly successful career as a model. Not top model status but, pretty good.

She passed away on December 19th, 2016. I am not sure the cause it is said to be a suicide which is truly tragic. She was only 29.

[antmnonesene]

From Worst to Best, an absolute ranking of 23 cycles of top model

#22 cycle 1

I don’t have a long winded paragraph for this. It was the first cycle so of course OF COURSE it wasn’t great. The photo shoots were unbearable. There was an actual scene where two homophobic girls read bibles instead of meeting the lesbian’s girlfriend and the lesbian was considered the villain for not being ok with this. The eliminations made no sense. Tyra’s hair was a mess. There was no Nigel Barker. 

Adrianne Curry won over Eylse Sewell.

Elyse didn’t even make it to top 2. 

....

This lost

To This

The make up sold this picture not the model. I won’t post anymore pictures this cycle was tragic how it bred 22 more I do not know.

[antmnonesene]

From Worst to Best, an absolute ranking of 23 cycles of top model

#23 cycle 9. This was a toss up between cycle 1 and cycle 9

Cycle 9 is a terrible cycle because of panel. The photo shoots were so-so with only the gargoyle one being the true standout from that cycle. 

(heather was the only one to actually look like a gargoyle)

The models were actually very good but, most of the great ones were eliminated before China and the personalities were buried by production for reason I don’t really understand.

All in all it was an average cycle. Saleisha Stowers might be the most undeserved winner of all time but, even then it happens quite a bit on this show.

(What the fuck is this how did this win?)

What makes this cycle the worst was Panel. Between Twiggy picking on Victoria because she WASN’T insecure and Tyra making everyone from Mila to Ebony to even Heather, feel like shit for not being what she wanted it was a mess. This entire season was rigged for Saleisha so the eliminations became more and more confusing.

For one Victoria got eliminated with this picture

When this one existed 

as well as this one

(Though I’m glad chantal stayed because she was the best photo model this cycle)

That should be enough for you but, if it’s not let me tell you more. Tyra Eliminated Janet for her gargoyle shot despite the fact that ambreal looked like a robot...dog her mouth was weird. Her eyes were soulless the picture was absolutely useless. Saleisha should have left 3 girls in and won and she never imprved. I mean yeah her china photos were okay but she greatly regressed in the covergirl shot. and her walk was not nearly as good as chantal’s. The panel tore Jenah to shreds for not being bubbly saying she had no personality than calling it cold. She just wasn’t like them. I honestly think Tyra hates girls like that because of how she was treated by Naomi Campbell (which im sorry but Naomi was not wrong to call out the fashion industry’s colorism) They broke her down then sent her home for no reason. They tried everything they could to make Mila cry then sent her home because she didn’t cry because her picture did not get her sent home at all. On top of all of that when Ebony decided that she didn’t wanna be there anymore and gave her spot up for someone who wanted it, Tyra destroyed her for it. The panel this season was angry for some reason and I don’t understand why but, it made this cycle unbearable and the absolute worst. despite having showstoppers chantal and heather.