Summary: They say: "All beginnings are difficult". But in your opinion that just meant "they" never tried being a mortal in frickin' Asgard...
a/n: i am currently sick and have nothing better to do, so why not write about my latest obsession, the only cat person in all the 9 realms lmao (but also i just like writing sarcastic assholes in general ok ajsksk)
⸺ ⟢ Chapter 1 - So not only a sarcastic asshole, but also a vain one. Great. The whole damn package then...
No sooner had you stumbled out of the raven vortex after Atreus than the rustling of countless wings was replaced by the howling of the icy wind that blew all around you up here.
You looked around, turning this way and that in an attempt to regain your bearings - only to quickly jump back when you realized how close you were to the edge of the giant wall. Wow... If you had left the vortex in the opposite direction, you would be nothing but mush now...
The next moment, you felt a light touch on your arm before looking into Atreus' concerned eyes.
"Everything okay?", he asked.
You nodded and gave him what you hoped was a reassuring smile. "Yes, I... I think so."
That wasn't a lie. Although you were still feeling a little dizzy, your head was already clearing. Nevertheless, you sat down on the nearest rock, just to be on the safe side in case your legs would give out after all. From there, you could finally take in the entire panorama of Asgard. And man, was it spectacular.
You had just finished admiring the vast green plains and were about to take a closer look at the legendary Bifröst Bridge, when you suddenly heard a slow clapping sound behind you. Immediately, you turned around and saw a man approaching.
The first thing you noticed about him were his eyes: bright purple and so piercing that they seemed to look right through you. You shuddered and quickly stood up. With your arms wrapped tightly around your body, you positioned yourself half behind Atreus, who must've felt quite similarly about the stranger, because he had automatically assumed a defensive stance.
Having to be protected by the younger god had always annoyed you, but in this situation you were happy to make an exception. After all, you weren't exactly dealt the best cards here, being a mortal in frickin' Asgard. For what felt like the hundredth time that day, you cursed yourself for just mindlessly following Atreus after he ran away.
"Not bad, not bad at all", the stranger began, lowering his hands. "Not many are able to surprise me. In fact, make that close to none. And yet, here you are... living proof to the contrary."
He stood in front of you, and you couldn't help but swallow when you felt the enormous power emanating from him. Atreus, too, shifted his weight uneasily. His fear made the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Who the Hel was this guy…?
Said guy looked at the two of you with a cold smile, before continuing: "Two little rats who somehow wormed their way into the All-Father's good graces. But only in part, it seems, considering where he dropped you off. How curious..."
His words hung in the air between you until Atreus finally found his voice again. "Um. Yeah, I... guess so. No idea why he didn't take us further in."
The man in front of you showed no reaction other than raising his eyebrows.
Atreus cleared his throat. "Uh, us- that is, I, am Atr- I mean Loki. Of the Jötnar. And this is-"
But before he could introduce you as well, he was swiftly interrupted. "Jötnar, you say. The Jötnar. Enemy of my people."
"Wha- No! No- I mean, well, that's half true, I guess... But I'm not your enemy! Really, I'm not, and neither is she. Why else would Odin have brought us here?"
You saw the stranger's eyes narrow. "Yes... That is the big question, now isn't it? Seems increasingly unlikely, actually, the longer I have the great pleasure of standing here with you guys. Are you sure you're not just some dirty little intruders who know a few magic tricks, hm?"
It was a rhetorical question, however, for Atreus didn't even get a chance to speak before the man grimaced and said: "...No. No, you are far too inept for that. And as much as I would love to have you dangling off the edge of the wall right about now - and believe me, I would truly love nothing more." He sighed. "Sadly, that will have to wait until the All-Father realizes his mistake and wants to get rid of you again. But as the saying goes, a pleasure deferred..."
He flashed you a rather evil-looking smirk, then motioned for you to follow him. At first, you and Atreus exchanged uncertain glances, but ultimately, it wasn't as if you had a choice. So in the end, the boy just shrugged and you hurried to catch up with the Aesir stranger.
You took the opportunity to wipe your sweaty palms on your pants. What a welcome... Under different circumstances, you would have been at least a little offended if someone had ignored you like that during a conversation. But in this case, you didn't mind at all. In fact, you were quite happy even not to have been involved. The whole thing was really a bit too big for you. And if there was a chance to get through this without having to feel those creepy, glowing eyes on you even once, you would grab her face and kiss her right on the mouth.
Speaking of creepy, glowing eyes...
"Sorry, but... is that Gjallarhorn on your belt? Are you Heimdall?"
Your charming welcoming committee didn't even turn around. "Obviously. Who else would I be, wise guy?"
At first, you thought you had misheard. Heimdall? The Heimdall?? Huh... You didn't know what to make of that. You had always imagined the "Watchman of the Aesir" to be more... imposing. Older. Sexier...? Similar to the pictures in Sindri's book, basically. But maybe its author just wanted to spare their readers the same disappointment. You definitely couldn't blame them.
"Huh...", you heard Atreus murmur under his breath and had to bite your lip to keep from giggling.
Which may have been one of the smartest decisions of your life, because suddenly Heimdall stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face you again. "What do you mean, 'Huh'?", he repeated, a dangerous glint in his eyes.
For a moment, you wondered how the Aesir could have heard that, then you slowly remembered what you had read about him: heightened senses, mind reading, "future vision"... No wonder he seemed so powerful, he was, even if his appearance suggested otherwise.
"Uh, nothing, sorry! I was just thinking out loud... that's all."
Like that made it any better.
You held your breath, but in the end Heimdall just rolled his eyes and continued walking. Phew... That was close. You sent Atreus a warning look before following the Aesir god. Who obviously left his sense of humor at the other end of the Bifröst Bridge; a detail that definitely deserved a literary mention as well, you thought.
"What he wants from you children is truly beyond me", you heard him say the next moment (further proving your point). "The greatest, the All-Father, King of the Aesir, must have a thousand better things to do than deal with the likes of you. But well... I suppose we will see soon enough."
However, you weren't even listening to him anymore at this point. For by now, you had crossed the entire width of the wall and could look down on the other side, where Gladsheim, Asgard's capital, revealed itself to you in all its glory. Or rather... part of it? Because, like Heimdall, you had definitely imagined this place to be much more impressive. In fact, the city bore a striking resemblance to the dwellings you had already spotted at the foot of the outer wall, as well as some settlements you knew from Midgard. Just another bunch of wooden huts...
Heimdall noticed that you and Atreus had stopped walking. "Ah, of course. Your eyes are accustomed to simpler things, I forgot. Please, go ahead. Feel free to drink in the splendor of Asgard!"
Everything he said sounded sarcastic. And on top of that, he seemed to be an extremely combative guy, which meant you had to be damn careful not to misinterpret him. Still, there was not a single doubt in your mind that he truly meant every word he just said, so you quickly made a mental note to "avoid badmouthing Asgard in presence of sarcastic asshorn - or dead".
You turned away from the supposed "splendor" below...
And promptly found yourself under Heimdall's piercing gaze.
Immediately, your heart dropped.
"Oh, done already? Cornerstone of civilization not really your cup of tea, hm? I see... But, that is fine, I understand. I'm sure the sight must be quite overwhelming for your... limited minds." He finished with a chuckle and turned his back on you again.
Meanwhile, your eyes felt so hot that you wouldn't be surprised if they were shooting sparks. Just as you imagined burning a hole between Heimdall's shoulder blades, you caught Atreus giving you a look, to which you responded with a wry smile. He didn't need to worry, you would behave. After all, you weren't tired of life yet. Even if your recent actions suggested otherwise, but hey! You never claimed to be particularly smart.
You followed Heimdall onto a wooden elevator, which he immediately set in motion. Now that you were standing much closer together, you were able to get a better look at him. Stealthily, of course; you didn't want to ogle. In the end, though, it probably wouldn't have mattered anyway, because he was still strangely fixated on Atreus. The fact that you were a boring mortal probably meant that he didn't give a single damn about you, provided you weren't screaming for attention. So... blessing in disguise?
"Very well then. Ask your questions."
"What questions?"
Heimdall looked annoyed. "You know who I am, yes? So please, don't waste my time."
Atreus seemed unfazed. A quality you had always admired about him and could probably learn a lot from: Keep a cool head and don't let yourself get rattled so easily.
"Okay, um... I take it Odin didn't tell you we were coming...?"
For an alarmingly long moment, the Aesir stared at Atreus as if he wanted to go for his throat - literally. But then he just sighed deeply and rolled his eyes again. That seemed to be a hobby of his.
Maybe that's how he trains his Bifröst eyes, you thought, chuckling to yourself as you imagined him standing on a training ground, still as a tree, simply rolling his eyes over and over and over...
Your own wandered over his face as he continued talking to Atreus. You noticed that his teeth seemed to gleam at certain angles. Maybe it was just the light... Or maybe he really did have golden teeth...? It wasn't that far-fetched, considering some other details about his appearance, such as his many earrings, his neatly braided hair, and the golden ornaments on his clothes.
So not only a sarcastic asshole, but also a vain one. Great. The whole damn package then...
"...is my job."
"Which is?", you heard Atreus ask.
"Protecting Asgard, of course. From any and all danger."
The young god raised his eyebrows. "And you think we're a danger."
"Her?" Heimdall nodded in your direction, and you immediately felt your muscles tense up again. Gods... you really needed to relax. Clearly the guy had no intention of (physically) attacking you anytime soon, otherwise he would have done so already. "Not even worth mentioning."
"Hey!", you instinctively called out, but well... he wasn't wrong.
"You, on the other hand..."
"Me?", Atreus said, surprised. "But you don't even know me."
Heimdall bared his teeth. "Ah, believe me, Loki, I've heard more than enough about you already. I do not need to 'get to know' you, just as I do not need to look inside your head to know that it is full of chaos. It follows you everywhere, sticks to you like fresh ashes. I could smell it from a mile away."
This time, it was Atreus who was tensing up. "You're wrong. You don't know me at all, I help people."
"Ooh", the Aesir scoffed, "you help people! Of course, right. And that's why you came here, yes? Not to... help yourself?"
You had to hand it to the guy, he seemed to know exactly which buttons to push to make you angry as all Hel. Which wasn't surprising, really, considering that he could literally see into people's minds. Not the best conditions for a potential fight with the Aesir god...
"Here, let me help you out", he continued. "You are here because you want to achieve your goal. And to do that, you manipulate and lie wherever you go. You may be young, but my, what a twisted little soul you have! I watch your mouth move, and I see cities burning."
By this point, Atreus was so tense next to you that he was practically vibrating, his hands clenched into tight fists. So much for "keeping a cool head"... Without further ado, you decided to intervene before things got out of control. It was a risky move; you hadn't really thought it through, nor were you aware of the possible consequences. At least not until you had unceremoniously positioned yourself between the two gods and once again locked eyes with the Aesir.
"We may have our own goals, sure, but if working towards them also helps out Odin in some way, doesn't that make us... allies? At least for the moment?"
No sooner had you finished than you realized how naive that must have sounded. Oh joy... You could hardly wait for the sarcastic remark that was sure to follow...
Heimdall's first reaction to your words was a hearty laugh (which didn't particularly surprise you), followed by: "Well, well, well. Would you look at that. A mortal trying to dictate what a god-"
And then he just... stopped.
You frowned when he simply stared at you, mouth half open and head slightly tilted. The sight was so comical that you felt the urge to wave your hand in front of his face to see if he was still mentally present. But again; not suicidal. So you just tried to hold his intense gaze as best you could, getting more and more creeped out by the second...
In the end, it was Atreus who broke the spell. "Uuh, Heimdall...? Everything... okay?"
"...Interesting. Very interesting", the Aesir finally muttered, eyes still boring into yours. "I think I understand now why you are here..."
You had to swallow and suddenly realized that you couldn't turn away either. It was as if those shades of purple held you captive. As if you were in some kind of trance, unable to escape their pull...
Then, a grin stretched across Heimdall's face and he loudly clapped his hands. And you flinched so violently that you thought the elevator was wobbling just because of you. But no, it turned out that this only signaled the end of your journey.
With a final rumble, you arrived at your destination, and Heimdall, still grinning, bowed slightly before saying: "Welcome to Asgard, esteemed guests."
And with that, he simply turned and walked away. As if the strange situation from just a moment ago had never happened...
Im blown out of my mind on the new GOD OF WAR: LAUFEY trailer that i HAD to make a fanart :D the trailer brings me back to 2018 hype~ BIG UPS TO SANTA MONICA STUDIOS I CANT WAIT-
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HEARTBREAKING: friends who i should be going to the movies and playing dnd and watching anime and cosplaying and going to the mall and having sleepovers and exploring the woods with live one hundred trillion miles away
HEARTBREAKING: friends who i should be going to the movies and playing dnd and watching anime and cosplaying and going to the mall and having sleepovers and exploring the woods with live one hundred trillion miles away
I have been so slow! Thank you all so much for your patence!!!
Other Notes!
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I overthought that mask so much. I originally wanted to to be based on a historical Scold's bridle but it looked a little too horrifying so I ended up making it look a little more like Shredder's.
it'll be $50 for bust in full color. Double the base price for an extra character in the scene.
All images will have a simple shape in the background for contrast HOWEVER if you want to add something more scenic of your choice, it'll be +$20
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labubus spotted at the anti-corruption protest in kyiv (because of the word play of labubu and NABU standing for national anti-corruption bureau of ukraine)
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