PSA: Set your Own Boundaries. Don’t Let People Control You.
This is something I have been noticing constantly with some of my mutuals, especially with those who have tendency to be people pleasers. After seeing a few instances of how this aspect of their personality has put them in rather unsavory situations, I decided to write this post up because I think it really needs to be said to all because it is incredibly important.
I recently saw someone sending an anonymous ask to my dearest friend saying “You never respond to anything I send you,”, which my friend got heavily affected just by those very words. There is also the notion in the RPC that there are many who don’t respond to what is sent to them and only answer select people…..Which is bullshit because you can be picky with which you wanna respond with. After seeing them break down, I felt this is going out of control & a post is to be made which is this very post.
Please set your own boundaries, set your foot down when you absolutely have to. What does that mean? It means to not let people walk all over you because you were unable to set your own boundaries on how people interact with you. Now what does that mean?
If you are uncomfortable with something, don’t follow through with it and say no.
Only able to answer select meme asks? Don’t worry, just answer the ones you can answer and you can either not answer the rest or save them for later.
Don’t agree with something? You are free to express your disagreement, no matter how ‘unpopular it is’.
Diverting from what majority of the fandom likes to think about a canon character/concept/whatever headcanon wise? Go ahead, write it. You are free to express disagreement with fanon.
Therefore, if someone is out there trying to force you into the other way other than the direction you wanna feel comfy in, please drop them. They are not you. They have absolutely no right to control you in any form. I am saying this as someone who used to not set her own boundaries & was a bit of a people pleaser; going with what everyone thinks rather than what I think and even allowed myself to believe in the words of someone using suicide to control me & keep my attention and energy on them 24/7. After I found out this person has been lying and manipulating me the entire, that is when I decided to set my own grounds & not let people control me in such manner.
So…..I started to set my own boundaries:
I set what I am good & not good with. If I am not good with something, I explain.
If I cannot respond or wanna drop something, I explain.
If I sense bullshit from my gut, I listen to it. Honestly, please listen to your gut and if your gut is saying this is not ok or anything off, it is 99.99999999% of the time correct so please listen to your guardian angel the gut.
If I feel I cannot answer certain things, I try to explain that I cannot.
If anyone violates or pushes your boundaries, don’t give into what they want. If you keep at it, people will start taking advantage of you & you will be consumed by giving what people want rather than focusing on your own comfort and your own needs. If it is getting to the point your followers are starting to control your life & make you mentally miserable, please step back from tumblr & take a break so you can learn how to set your boundaries.
But Sche!! This sounds so hard!! I just cannot be mean to people!! Look, I get you, I get your sentiments all too well. But, do you think it is really worth giving your energy to people who don’t allow you to be yourself, control your own blog at your own comfort and all? I felt so much better when I started to set my boundaries, listen to my gut & learned how to say no to anything I cannot handle at all or at the moment. It is hard but rewarding once you get out of the people pleaser mindset.
tl;dr Please run your blog as you see fit. Don’t let others dictate your comfort or push you around. You don’t owe anyone anything. Period.