Just a Little Frostbite~

Hello there! Just call me Matthew. Would you like something warm to drink? [Independent askblog for Vampire Canada][Askbox: Open][M!A: None] [Please do not repost artwork.]

[valtsv]

look i don’t know how reliable a source of information this website is but the idea that you can easily get rid of vampires in your home just by telling them they’re not welcome anymore is extremely funny to me

[valtsv]

if a vampire came into my house and tried to drain my blood. well i would simply say no thank you.

[valtsv]

unless the vampire is hot of course, in which case feel free to make yourself at home

[decayingmutt-deactivated2019091]

[cumaeansibyl]

I remember asking about this question once and someone told me that in True Blood if you rescind an invitation the vampire is “forcibly removed” from your house (or words to that effect)

and I have to admit I expected something much more violent than this, but somehow that would’ve been less dramatic? like if he was flung backward through the door it would’ve looked pretty cool but the DRAMA here is 10 times as fucking ridiculous

[micaxiii]

OK BUT

Please love yourself and read @breebird33​‘s webcomic Patrick The Vampire

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

vampire headcanons?

[deanu]

I’ve made a post about this before on my blog AGES ago BUT I’ll just copy/paste it here. If vampires were gonna drink anything /besides/ blood AND survive it would be whole milk. I’m a science major. Hear me out.  Unless your vampires have to drink blood because of a supernatural curse or something, they’re more than likely biological vampires (viral, genetic, etc), right? So, Milk has the same basic components as blood does: proteins, immunofactors, fats, sugars, vitamins, minerals, etc. so a vampire could potentially live off of milk, or at least be able to supplement/curb human blood feedings with milk. 

Blood transports these nutrients PLUS gases (O2 and CO2), and I’m assuming your vampire doesn’t NEED the Gas Transport function of blood. Milk more or less does the same thing (sans Gas Transport) I.E. transporting nutrients from mother to offspring because the offspring still can’t eat solid foods and drink from a cup, now can they. I’ll include Blood Nutrients and Milk Nutrient Facts below. The only way I could see having a biological vampire and them needing blood (and blood only) is if it’s the kind of vampire that needs their old blood replaced by fresh blood to keep their organs working, but then the whole “drinking” blood doesn’t make sense, and they’d need a blood transfusion method of some kind. Number stuff: 

blood components: -water ~92% -other solutes (ions, gases, nutrients, etc) ~2% -proteins ~7% -fats (blood can contain 200-240 mg/dl blood cholesterol. This depends on age, diet, and how recently the human has eaten) Milk components: -water ~85% -proteins ~3.3% -fat ~4.1% -0.7% minerals so as a vampire you may be missing out on some proteins and a bit of water, but you could make it up with a larger consumption of milk and/or supplementation of blood drinking. Cow milk is Diet Blood™

[ask-sweater-vamp]

[witchscarlet]

fuck it a vampire with a gun

[witchscarlet]

count glockula

[ask-sweater-vamp]

I know I said I’d take better care of myself, but… 

It looks like I wasn’t careful enough again… What should I do…?

[valtsv]

the real reason vampires and ghosts wear those floor length capes and robes is so they can hide the heelies they wear at all times

[valtsv]

vampire: *gliding menacingly towards me*

me: *throwing gravel and twigs on the ground behind me as i run so he’ll hopefully jam his wheels and eat shit*

[valtsv]

*vampire voice* skate or die, mortal

[ask-aphnorway]

hey guys, can you like or reblog this if you are an ask blog. I just want to follow some people, i feel like im not up to date who is active and who is new here etc.

[ask-sweater-vamp]

Fun fact about Matthew: He has a natural talent for hypnosis, usually using it to erase memories. His eyes aren’t the only method he has to hypnotize, either, but he has far less control over the other method due to its potency. 

[ask-sweater-vamp]

I know I said I’d take better care of myself, but... 

It looks like I wasn’t careful enough again... What should I do...?

[ask-sweater-vamp]

((Always remember to take care of your fangs!))

[ask-sweater-vamp]

dearest sweater vampire, what is the best kind of sweater to have? i see you've found a very cute fluffy one recently, but do you have any other favs aside from that?

“Oh, there are so many good ones! Ones with fluffy linings are probably the best, but there are so many nice styles out there~” 

“Oh! And I can’t forget how nice hoodies can be, too! Nice big pockets, tight knits, and the strings are fun to play with. They might not be super fashionable, but they’re perfect comfortable casual wear when it’s just a little chilly!” 

[ask-sweater-vamp]

((GIVE! ME! MORE! FANTASY! MATTHEW!))

[ask-mahou-canada]

does "put some clothes on" count as a wish?

“Eh, whatever. If it gets me outta this.” 

“Always gotta do it the hard way, sheesh.” 

[ask-sweater-vamp]

((Eh....what was I drawing again? I think the idea was to catch him out somewhere at night, but I lost focus at some point. Those vampires sure are mesmerizing.))

[my-darling-boy]

I was going to rewatch 1931 Dracula again tonight and just as I turned it on a BAT started flying around at my window and wouldn’t go away and I’ve never seen a bat at my house before and let me tell you I’ve been so gay touched starved this quarantine I was about ready to risk letting a wild bat in my room if it meant it could possibly be one tall, Sexy vampire

[my-darling-boy]

Ah rabies

[my-darling-boy]

But what if the bat was from my secret gay vampire admirer

[kayvsworld]

Thinking abt immortality and how meticulously you’d have to keep track of all of your shit so some nosy historian didnt spot your old journal or coat or copy of a book and call an infuriating time-based finders keepers

“It’s two hundred years old” they say. “It’s essentially public property” they say. It’s a letter you sent to your friend and it’s in a museum now and you’re screaming

[galwednesday]

Why are vampire stories always I Want To Drink The Sexy Neck Milkshake and never two vampires texting about the passionate letter one wrote to the other in 1863 but never sent that the other just saw in the Smithsonian’s fall exhibition on Love Through the Ages and what the fuck, Claude, why didn’t you say anything

[kayvsworld]

THANK YOU!!! asking the REAL questions

[vampyretitties]

what is it about vampires that is “sexy” really? is it the fangs? the immortality? the period specific clothing? all signs point to yes

[sfitty]

the mystique and allure of an intelligent creature of the night

the breathtaking awe of their abilities

everything about vampires is wonderful

[cockroach-mlm]

no need to be poetic, we all know its the neck biting. thats hot

[sfitty]

that too but also everything else

[kneegrow-chan]

What you don't think werewolves don't bite??

[sfitty]

they do

but not in a sexy way. more like in a tear your fucking throat open

[my-darling-boy]

I was going to rewatch 1931 Dracula again tonight and just as I turned it on a BAT started flying around at my window and wouldn’t go away and I’ve never seen a bat at my house before and let me tell you I’ve been so gay touched starved this quarantine I was about ready to risk letting a wild bat in my room if it meant it could possibly be one tall, Sexy vampire

[my-darling-boy]

Ah rabies