welcome to atzdisciples (lix’s) masterlist! i’ll be adding and posting a lot more soon so this will definitely come in handy :3!
ateez ——
hongjoong - coming soon …
seonghwa - coming soon …
yunho - coming soon …
yeosang - coming soon …
san - once a trainee always a trainee (pt 1 , pt2) , birthday sex
mingi - “i’m not a bottom!” , stalker! mingi headcanons
wooyoung - friends with benefits chronicles
jongho - coming soon …
ot8 - ateez dick sizes
duos/trios - seonghwa in drag (matz)
sf9 ——
youngbin - coming soon …
inseong - coming soon …
dawon - coming soon …
jaeyoon - coming soon …
zuho - coming soon …
rowoon - coming soon …
taeyang - coming soon …
hwiyoung - coming soon …
chani - coming soon …
ot9 - coming soon …
duos/trios - coming soon …
a/n: there is more groups to come and if your here looking for my skz fics … i would like to forget about those times 😭😭 the only reason i put sf9 down is because i have like 4 fics im working on right now. AND if any of you have requests pls let me know and i will try to get them done soon :3
hai my angels 🤍 i just wanted to let everyone know that i am working on 40+ fics rn and i will try and get all of them (at least one) done soon!! im having really bad writers block recently and i haven’t been writing :(
tags: smut, body worship … mentions of vaping, drinking and ot8
in which, what better way to celebrate your boyfriends birthday than giving him your body?
it was your boyfriend, choi san’s, birthday.
you always went all out for it. inviting all his friends and still spending time with him after the party, though he was usually wasted and it didn’t last for very long.
one year he got too high he was scared to speak to you until he finally went to bed. on the couch.
this year, you decided to do something different.
no alcohol, no drugs and … no friends?
san agreed to all of it but the no friends part, the actually though you were joking when you first mentioned it.
you had a lot in mind but one thing you knew for sure was that you were going to fuck him that night.
the night of his birthday, he sat on the couch obviously bored out of his mind.
“are you seriously not inviting my friends?” he pauses to look up at you who is just walking into the living room, “i mean not even wooyou—“
he freezes as you lean against the hallway.
your naked, “listen, i didn’t invite your friends because i want you do myself.” your voice is dark, almost scary enough to send a shiver down san’s spine.
she shifts on the couch as his eyes wonder your body, “i— wow..” he shakes his head and laughs in disbelief.
you step closer slightly, “so .. will you?” a sly smile crawls across your face.
he nods, scrambling towards you. he wraps his arms around your body, lifting you up. your legs instinctively wrap around his hips. he’s aggressively kissing you as he slowly walks back to the bedroom.
he mumbles against your lips, “i had no idea you had this pla—“ you cut him off with another kiss.
he lays you down on the bed gently before pulling himself out of his sweatpants. he’s already hard from seeing you.
“is my baby ready?” you laughs softly but he quickly shuts you up as he slaps his cock against your needy, wet core.
jesus. he was big. you knew this but it felt like everytime you swore it got bigger in both length and width.
his voice is soft a whine that’s filled with desire, “i want not a word from you … please?” his voice is a hushed needy whisper.
you nod in agreement as he shoves his cock inside of you. his head falling back as he lets a a moan that sounds as if it came from his dick itself.
you were a tight fit for his girth. but who said that stopped him?
he slowly starts picking up his pace. finding the right momentum and rhythm.
his hips snap against your as you cry out, “i— please san…!” you whimper.
he grabs your jaw as he thrusts harder and faster, “what did i say? not a word.” he growls, his voice filled with the same energy it always did. practical lust.
you moan softly as your teeth sink into your bottom lip, preventing any noise to come out.
he rams into you harder and faster. he starts whimpering himself.
you feel the knot in your stomach growing more persistent. your climax is coming quickly than you expected.
your back arches, “are you — gonna cum — jagiya?” he says between whimpers.
you nod desperately.
he pulls out before he slaps your cunt with his hand a few times, “i’ll tell you when you can cum baby… now rub your clit.” he demands coldly.
your hands tremble as you begin rubbing your clit, “that’s a good girl.. don’t cum now…” he bites his lip as he watches, his own cock twitching from the lost friction.
he starts rubbing himself before he grabs your hand and tosses it to the side, ramming himself into you again.
you moan loudly, your back arching quickly.
he nods, “that it.. let me see you cum all over my cock, hm?” his voice is slightly raspy.
you clench around him as you whine, you cum around his cock. your arousal coating him quickly.
his own climax comes very soon after. with one final thrust he shoves his cock in one more time, his seed coating your insides white.
he pulls out, shooting thick white ropes of the last of his climax onto your stomach and chest.
this is a night neither of you will forget.
happy birthday choi san xoxo, angelic y/n.
a/n: it’s 3:38 at the time of publishing this and oh my god when i tell you im so tired 🥹 i know his birthday is in 5 days but id rather be early than late! my mingi oneshot got so much traction and im so happy that it did! thank you all so much 💙
synopsis: you and jongho were having dinner tonight, but you decided to push his buttons tonight by being difficult, acting like a brat to set him off.
the car hummed along the highway, speeding pass the other cars. you both were returning back home from a fancy restaurant after you kept fucking with him the whole night.
you tilt your head down to see his hand gripping your thigh, his fingers tapping rhythmically against the fabric. you look over at him and god, he’s fucking pissed. his jaw was clenched tight, and his eyes were dark, something cold and predatory behind them.
“what’s wrong?” you asked innocently, tilting your head like you haven’t been giving him a hard time tonight.
he didn’t reply so you tried again, “jongho—“
“be quiet.” he spat out sharply, cutting you off. yeah he’s really mad tonight. you shift in your seat slightly and his grip gets impossibly tighter, keeping you in place. you squirm in his grasp to push further, the movement leading up to him slapping your thigh and gripping it again, your skin starting to sting and get red underneath.
you whine, “but—“
“i said be. quiet.” he cuts you off once more, making you pout and cross your arms, your attitude getting worse by the second. “don’t give me that shit.”
“or what? what are you going to do?” you say confidently as you plaster a teasing smirk on your face, making jongho want to wipe it off your face right there, right now. you know exactly what he’s going to do, and that’s exactly what you want. a punishment.
a sharp inhale comes from him, “oh is that it? you wanna keep acting like a fucking brat? go ahead.” his hand gripped around the steering wheel, his foot pressing down slightly, putting more pressure into the gas. you swallowed, knowing what’s going to occur as soon as you get back.
as the engine cuts off, you can only hear the remaining sound of your heartbeat. he gets out the car as soon as he’s parked into the garage, slamming the door, making you flinch. your thoughts get cut off as he grabs your wrist and drags you out the passenger side, slamming your door as well. you almost tripped over your own feet as you got snatch out but he kept you upright, dragging you towards the door.
he grabbed the keys from his suit pockets, grumbling something as the key slid into the door with a metallic rasp, the door clicking as he unlocked it. the heavy oak groaning softly as it swung inward.
as you both got inside, he gave you very little time for you to kick your heels off before he guides you roughly towards the bedroom. he shoved you into the room, making you stumble, switching the light on before sliding his suit jacket off, rolling the cuffs of his white dress shirt.
he walks to the foot of the bed, waiting for you to come over to him. you open your mouth but before you can say anything, he cuts you off:
“who said you can talk? brats like you don’t deserve that privilege.” his voice laced with venom, turning back to glare at you. he reaches out for your wrist and yanks you towards him, closing the distance before he sits on the edge of the bed. “over my lap. now.”
the force of him pulling you makes you stumble again, but he catches you this time and guides you until you’re body is draped across his thighs. his hand pressed on your lower back, sliding to the curve of your ass possessively.
“this is what you wanted right?” he growled, “flirting with that fucking waiter.. like you’d throw yourself and give yourself with a pulse. like a whore.”
“n- no.. i—“
slap. his hand crackling on your ass, making you gasp. he hiked your dress up to your waist and hooked his finger into the waistband of your panties, dragging them down and discarding them somewhere around the room.
“i find that pretty fucking hard to believe.”
he glides his hand back up to your reddened flesh and slaps again. “count.”
“one,” you choke out, voice already wavering.
he doesn’t make you wait much longer after the first blow. the second strike lands on the opposite cheek, then a third, fourth, fifth rapidly, causing a burning heat across your cheeks that make you squirm.
he pauses to spread you legs, forcing them apart and trailing his fingers to your inner thigh, finding you embarrassingly wet.
“how pathetic..” he murmurs, “you’re dripping for me, baby.. you’re that desperate for me to put you in your place?”
he spanks you again, harder than the past blows, and you yelp, “six!”
his fingers finally find your folds, gathering your arousal up, then pushing in two digits without warning, curling them up and hitting your sweet spot dead on, making you see stars and grind back onto his hand, seeking friction.
“stop moving,” he warns, stilling his fingers until you finally stop moving. “you don’t deserve to chase your pleasure. you’ll take what i’m giving you right now and you’ll thank me for it, brat.”
he pulls his fingers out and continues spanking you, the dual sensations driving you crazy, pain and pleasure washing over you until you’re sobbing.
“please—“ your voice shaky, “please, sir..”
“please what?” he asks, pressing his fingers back into your heat, thrusting into you slowly, “you want me to stop? or do you want me to make you cum all over yourself like the desperate slut you are?”
“please!” you sob, “want to— hah.. want to cum—“
he laughs, dark and breathlessly, removing his digits slowly just to make you feel every inch of the loss and whine. “no. you think you can act up all night and think that you’re gonna cum so easily? such a dumb little thing you are. you haven’t earned it yet.”
he shoves you onto the carpet, placing you between his spread thighs. you look up to see him unbuckling his belt, his cock straining against his boxers, a wet spot forming against the fabric. he frees it with one hand as the other grabs a fistful of your hair, locking your head in place.
he slaps his cock against your cheek, “open.”
before you even part your lips completely, he shoves his cock down your throat, not giving you an ounce of time to adjust to accommodate his size. tears start to well up in your eyes as your throat start convulsing around his length, until you give his thigh two squeezes.
he pulls back to let you gasp for air, tears streaming down your cheeks, “hands behind your back.” he orders, and the second you comply, he knots his fingers tighter into your hair and starts fucking your mouth, using you like a toy, his hips snapping to meet your face as you gag and drool around him.
“look at you,” he groans, looking down at you hungrily, “ruined. all because my cock down your throat.. this is exactly what you needed, hm? needed to be used like the whore you are.”
his words make you moan around him desperately, the vibration causing him to curse under his breath and pull out suddenly. he hauls you up by your arm and shoves you face down on to the bed, ass up on full display for him. he removes your dress, throwing in on the floor.
“don’t move.”
you hear him say before the sound of fabric rustling starts, clothes being removed and discarded onto the carpet with your dress. then you suddenly feel his hand on your hip, his thick length pressing against your entrance, making you whimper.
“my girl has been such a brat tonight..” he murmurs, leaning over your back and kissing your shoulder, “it’s about time who i show you who’s in charge here.”
the stretch burns but god, it feels so fucking good. he pushes in slowly, letting you feel every inch of him inside you, filling you up to the brim, making you sob and claw into the sheets. he lets you adjust this time before moving, his thrusts deep and hard, making the bed shake.
one hand reaches around your hips and rubs circles around your clit, syncing with his thrusts while the other hand tangles into your hair, pulling your hair back. “take it,” he growls, “take it like a good slut.”
after two more denied orgasms, he groans as he feels your pussy clench tight around him, milking him for all he’s worth, making his thrusts lose rhythm.
“fuck, baby.. gonna cum—“ his words coming out gritted, “going to cum all over you—“
he pulls out and gives himself a few strokes before cumming over your back, hot stripes of his load painting your back. before you even can process the emptiness inside you, his hand comes down hard on your swollen clit.
the sudden pain mixing in with pleasure sends you over the edge, your body convulsing as you squirt helplessly onto the sheets, your release violent and overwhelming. he slaps your pussy again, and again, drawing out your orgasm until you’re squirming under him.
“that’s my girl.. such a pretty little mess..”
your legs finally give up and you collapse onto the mattress, your body trembling violently, his cum drying up on your back.
“you okay, baby?”
you look back at him and nod, “yeah… yeah i’m okay.”
he gets up and carries you in his arms, taking you to the bathroom and setting you up on the counter while he runs a warm bath for you. his touch is gentle now, contrasting from earlier. he runs his hands against the marks on your body, pressing soft kisses on them before picking you back up and settling you into the water.
“you did so good for me..” he whispers as he washes you up, “so perfect for me..” his hand running through your hair, massaging your scalp gently and rinsing you off before wrapping you up in a towel.
he takes you back to the room after drying you off, rubbing in lotions onto your body, grabbing one of his shirts and slipping it on you, the fabric containing his scent.
he tucks you under the cover and slides in next to you, stroking your side and kissing the top of your head softly.
“sleep, baby. i’m right here,” he cooed, “i got you.”
“love you..” you mumbled softly before drifting off softly, making him smile.
he held you tighter, “love you too, sweet girl.”
a/n: hiii! first post on here kinda nervous.. anywho, this is for my baby lixie cuz i love her so much mwah <3 ntm on me, i haven’t made an x reader in a whiiile.. but anyway nghhhh dilf jongho.. i might try to make a dilfteez series cuz 1. i love dilfs 2. i love ateez 3. im fucked up!! okay but in ALL seriousness though, i hope you enjoyed this nya~ :3
in which: you have a dream about your best friend that shines him in a new light.
pair: jongho/afab!reader
word count: 7.3k
content: college au, sex, protected sex, completely consensual
rating: R — nsfw | mdni
“Listen, all I can really say is that if she wanted to do well on the project, she would’ve pulled her weight,” Jongho grumbled.
You and Jongho were getting lunch in between classes. The two of you usually talked about classes during your break, and that day, you decided to bring up the last group project that you worked on. Jongho had to carry his team while you ended up having a blast with your own, making him all the more salty.
“Yeah, but that’s no reason to make her cry,” you pointed out.
“It’s her fault for not doing the work.”
“Jongho, she was your girlfriend. You didn’t have to be so mean.”
“Was, thank God,” Jongho let out a sigh of relief. “Honestly this whole dating thing is such bullshit— I just want to get my degree and get out of here.”
“Wow. How romantic,” you said sarcastically and rolled your eyes.
“Shut up,” Jongho retorted while throwing a fry at your face. “It’s your fault I was dating her in the first place.”
“I said go on one date with her. No one told you to ask her to be your girlfriend.”
“Yeah, well… Shut up.”
You shrugged, a smug smile appearing on your face as you realized that you won that argument. Jongho took a bite of his burger, annoyance written all over his face as you rubbed your smug smile. Jongho chose to fully ignore you at that point, making you turn to your phone to see that you were going to be late for your next class if you didn’t haul your ass out of there.
“Hey, I gotta go. I’ll see you tonight?” you asked him.
“Yeah. See ya,” Jongho responded with a nod and a light wave.
There was a Tuesday night tradition you, Jongho, and a couple other friends from school had— Trivia Night. One of your other friends worked at the bar that hosted the trivia, which is how you came to know of it in the first place.
That being said, even though you went for trivia, you guys never actually played. It was more of an excuse to go drinking in the middle of the week than anything, which meant every Tuesday, you and your friends were drinking way too much and screwing yourselves over for classes the next day.
“Hey, Joong!” you said, your words staring to slur together. “Let’s do a shot together.”
“Yeah! All of us!” your friend, Mingi, added as he hugged you from behind.
“Fine, last round, and then I’m sending you home,” Hongjoong replied while rolling his eyes, a playful smile on his face.
“Good idea. Y/N’s been getting a little handsy with me,” another friend, Yunho, said as he brushed your straying hand off his thigh— you couldn’t help it; you were an affectionate drunk.
The five of you clinked glasses and took your shots, Yunho and Jongho doing it with ease while you and Mingi made faces as the liquor burned your throats.
“Hey, so did you guys look into your classes for next semester?” Jongho asked.
“Not yet,” Yunho shook his head. “I’m guessing you have?”
“Yeah. We have to take the senior colloquium, so why don’t we all try for the same time and recitation? Keep us sane in our last semester of college.”
“Alright, that sounds good,” you giggled and hugged Jongho. “It’ll be fun to have a final class together.”
Mingi settled for nodding while also giggling. Jongho wanted to talk about the matter further, but you and Mingi were just far too gone to have a proper conversation at that point, so he just settled for talking to the group about it when you all were sober.
You were still clinging to Jongho as he sat quietly and thought about classes while sipping his beer, your head on his shoulder, your arms wrapped tightly around his waist. You couldn’t help but stare at him as he was lost deep in thought, and your drunk self thought it was the perfect time to nuzzle your nose in his neck.
“What? Why?” you complained as Jongho got out of your embrace and grabbed your arm to put over his shoulder.
“Because you’re done.”
“How do you figure?”
“Because I know. Let’s go home before you yak on the bar again,” Jongho shut you down and started dragging you out of the bar. “Yunho, let me know how much we owe you after you close the tab.”
“Will do!” Yunho responded cheerfully as he watched Jongho drag you away.
“Bye Yuyu, Mango, Joong!” you managed to say before leaving the establishment.
The walk home was atrocious for Jongho. You refused to walk in a straight line and kept trying to pull him towards any bar that you passed, and at some point, Jongho had enough and made you get on his back so he could piggyback you back to your apartment. His patience was wearing thinner as you started playing with his hair and tickling his neck, but you were his best friend, and you were drunk out of your fucking mind, so he was going to be there for you.
By the time Jongho got you home, you were practically falling asleep on his back— he had a very comfy back, not going to lie. He put you down right in front of your door, but instead of reaching for your keys, you slumped onto him, his chest catching you before you went tumbling down.
And then, you blacked out.
You woke up the next morning with a horrible hangover and absolutely no memory of how you got back from the bar in the first place— you remembered Jongho walking you home, but how you ended up in your bed was a complete mystery to you. There was a nagging feeling in the back of your mind, that you did something you shouldn’t have, but you couldn’t for the life of you figure out what it was, nor did you have the time to ponder it because you had to get your ass out of bed and onto campus.
Your first class was absolute torture, your headache intensifying as the lecture went on and on, and by the time the class was over, you were ready to fall over. You trudged out of the classroom to see your friends waiting for you— they usually waited for you after your Wednesday morning class so that all four of you could grab lunch— Yunho immediately pulling you in for a hug.
“You look like shit,” he commented while hugging you.
“Wow, really? I had no idea,” you responded with heavy sarcasm.
“What the fuck happened to you last night for you to look like this?” Mingi asked.
“I have no fucking clue,” you groaned. “All I remember is leaving the bar…”
But, your statement was drowned out by Mingi as he dramatically grabbed his chest and gasped, “Did you and Jongho go and drink more without us?!”
“Yeah, no. Y/N was too wasted for that,” Jongho shook his head. “I took her home directly.”
“I guess the hangover is only hitting so hard because I’m not as young as I used to be,” you sighed loudly.
“…We’re all in our early twenties. Shut up,” Yunho said while rolling his eyes.
“I dunno man, Jongho acts like an old man a lot,” Mingi said with a slight giggle. “I think he’s in his eighties.”
As the three boys bickered, your mind lingered on Jongho’s words. He took you home directly, and you remembered that, but… How the hell did you get into your apartment? And why was the weird feeling still lingering?
“Hey,” you pulled Jongho out of the argument and to the side, the two tall men still walking without realizing you and Jongho were no longer walking with them. “Can we talk?”
“Sure,” Jongho agreed, the two of you moving to the side of the hallway.
“Did… Did something happen last night?” you asked. “Because I have this nagging feeling that I did something, but I… I don’t know what.”
“Don’t worry about it, and just sleep it off,” Jongho replied. “Look, I gotta get to class. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Right, yeah, okay…” you trailed off as Jongho left you standing there more confused than ever.
Because what did he mean by “don’t worry about it”? What the fuck did you do last night?
You decided to take matters into your own hands. After you were done with classes for the day, you went straight to the bar because, Goddammit, you needed answers or at least some clarity.
“Joong!” you called loudly the second you got into the bar. “I have a question for you!”
You plopped yourself down on one of the bar stools and looked at the bartender, a determined glint in your eye, but a heavy sigh on your lips.
“Geez, you look like shit,” Hongjoong commented on your appearance the second he stood in front of you.
“That seems to be the general consensus today… Ugh, anyway. Did I do something wrong last night?”
“What?” Hongjoong’s face twisted in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Like… Okay, I feel like I did something I shouldn’t have done last night,” you explained. “And I’m trying to figure it out.”
“You were fine here— well, you were shit-faced, and Jongho took you home, and that’s about it,” the bartender recollected. “You didn’t do anything outta pocket.”
“Okay… I still feel like… I’m missing something,” you grumbled to yourself, but the man could still hear you.
“Why don’t you ask Jongho since he walked you home last night?”
“See, I tried doing that, but he told me “don’t worry about it”,” you said, exasperated, while using air quotes. “What the fuck does that mean— What should I not worry about?!”
“I don’t know!” Hongjoong held his arms up as if you were holding him at gunpoint and demanding answers. “The only thing I can say is ask him again, or maybe sleep on it, and it’ll come to you.”
“So helpful,” you couldn’t help but be sarcastic. “Fine, I’ll sleep on it. Thanks for the help, Joong.”
You got off the stool and were about to head for the exit when the bartender asked, “So you’re not going to get a drink?”
“Are you fucking kidding— No! Bye, Joong!”
“Hey, Jongho?”
The two of you were sitting on your couch— Jongho came over after he finished his classes for the day.
“What’s up?”
“Are you sure I didn’t do anything that night?” you asked him, your voice slightly wavering.
“I told you not to worry about it,” he responded with a sigh.
“No, but I’m going to worry about it because I want to know!” you exclaimed. “You being all vague and shit about it just makes me more concerned, and I just need you to tell me for my own sanity.”
Jongho let out yet another sigh. He looked straight at you, his eyes meeting yours. You never realized how pretty his eyes were until you made proper eye contact, and the bigger his eyes got, the prettier they became. Then, you realized that his eyes were not getting bigger, but he was moving closer to you. You leaned backwards, your back hitting the arm rest as he pinned you against it, his light exhale flitting past your cheek.
“You really want to know?” he asked, his voice lower and softer than usual.
“I… I do. I do want to know.”
Shocks ran through your body when he caressed your face lightly, his dainty fingertips rubbing lightly against your ear. He leaned in closer to you, making you squeeze your eyes shut since you assumed that he was going to kiss you. Instead, he whispered in your ear, “You told me you loved me.”
He leaned away, allowing you to look at him with complete and utter shock. You tried to brush off the tension building in the room and between your legs as you responded as light-heartedly as you could, “But I always tell you that I love you.”
“Yes, but…” Jongho placed his hand on your thigh and slowly moved it upwards, his voice dropping even lower. “Last night, you told me that you meant it, that you were in love with me.”
Your jaw dropped. Your eyes darted back and forth, and your heart rate picked up as you tried to make sense of the situation— his words, his actions, and your body’s reactions.
“I— I did?” you whispered.
“Yes, and then,” Jongho’s voice also hushed to a whisper as he leaned close to you once more, his hand going further along your thigh, nearing your crotch. “You kissed me.”
“I… I— I,” you stammered, not a single coherent thought left in your brain.
Your brain only got emptier when you felt his soft lips against yours, your body immediately melting into his comfortable touch. You reciprocated his kiss, your hands unconsciously moving from his shoulders to his neck, bringing you closer to him. Your body lurched towards his when you felt his hand move around to your ass, the man firmly cupping it while his other hand slipped under your shirt and traced the curve of your waist, a soft moan playing on your lips.
“Just admit it,” he said softly with his lips still pressed against yours. “You love me, and I love you, too.”
His teeth got a hold of your lower lip and tugged it upwards as his hand started kneading your breast, making you gasp. Then, his patience started wearing thin. He lifted your shirt and moved your bra up to reveal your breasts, his mouth immediately going right for your nipple, and as he sucked, his hands pulled your pants down to reveal your soaking cunt. You were moaning loudly at that point, Jongho’s name barely rolling off your tongue.
When Jongho slipped his slender fingers into you, your entire body reacted. Your back arched, your toes curled, and your hands ran through his hair and gripped it tightly, his fingers pleasuring you greatly. He kept curling them inside you, searching for your G-spot, and once he found it, you cried loudly and sat up in bed.
In bed?
You looked around. Jongho was nowhere to be found, and you were in bed, awake. What the fuck… was that? You blinked the sleep out of your eyes and shifted in bed, only to feel something wet between your legs. You lifted your duvet to see that you were sitting on clean sheets, but soaking up your panties was your arousal.
Did you seriously just have a sex dream about your best friend?
You were mortified with yourself. For the rest of that week, you avoided Jongho like the plague because every single time you saw him, guilt pricked at your skin, brain, and heart. How could you dream of your best friend like that and then see him in the same way ever again? How were you supposed to act normal around him?
And so, you avoided the shit out of him. Seriously. You made sure to use the other exit from your classroom so that you wouldn’t have to deal with the group walking with you, and you ditched all of your regular spots because, fuck, you had no idea how you were going to be normal around him when you couldn’t even be normal with yourself before sleeping.
Because, truth is, that dream did something to you. Any time Jongho popped into your mind, your cunt would clench, and your body would rush with heat; and if you thought about him at night, you desperately had to do something about it. So, basically, every night, you were touching yourself while thinking about your friend— your best friend. What the fuck was wrong with you?
You were forced to meet with the group on Tuesday— Yunho left you a very long, very angry, very drunk voicemail telling you that if you didn’t show up on Tuesday, he was going to murder you. You doubted him, but when you heard Jongho and Mingi try to hold him back in the voicemail, you decided it wasn’t worth risking it.
You and Mingi were the first ones there, the two of you sitting in awkward silence as Hongjoong served you your drinks.
“Okay, um, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Mingi asked after taking a solid sip of his beer.
“W-What do you mean?”
“You’ve been avoiding us all fucking week! Did we do something wrong, or like, do you hate us or—”
“Oh my God, Mingi, no,” you immediately assured the guy. “I wasn’t trying to avoid all of you! Just…”
“Just what?”
“I was avoiding Jongho…”
“What the fuck? Why?” Mingi’s tone went from accusatory to worried and sympathetic, making you relax a little bit.
“Okay, so, uh… The other night… I… I may or may not have had a sex dream about Jongho… And when I woke up, I just… I got super turned on.”
“Wait, was it a wet dream?”
“I don’t know… Can girls even have wet dreams?”
“Well… Sounds like a wet dream to me,” Mingi answered after pondering the idea for a little.
“Great. Either way, I can’t even look at him the same way anymore. Fucking kill me,” you groaned as you laid your head on the bar top.
“Wait, so why’d you even dream about it?”
“I don’t know, man! I’ve been friends with the guy for fucking years, and this is the first time I’ve ever dreamt about him like that— and what’s worse is that he was so fucking good in my dream! Ugh, I wanna die!”
Mingi, who found the whole ideal hysterical, was laughing his ass off as he watched you get more and more mortified by the second.
“Did you ever figure out what happened that night, Y/N?” Hongjoong entered the conversation, making Mingi’s laughter die down a little.
“No,” you sulked. “I never got the chance to ask him again… I asked him in that dream, though.”
That made Mingi laugh all over again. He was clutching his stomach and laughing until he started crying, and he continued to laugh his ass off even when Yunho arrived. Well, he was still laughing, but he was able to wheeze to Yunho, “Dude, listen to this—”
“Mango, shut the fuck up!” you kicked Mingi in the shin, although that did nothing to the guy.
“Y/N had a random sex dream about Jongho!” Mingi barely said before laughing all over again.
“Really?” Yunho asked— he didn’t seem surprised, though.
“Yeah,” you said sadly.
“Well, I guess it makes sense that you’d have a sex dream about him considering what you did,” Yunho pondered out loud.
Mingi stopped laughing, and you, Hongjoong, and Mingi all stared at the tall man, Hongjoong asking, “What the fuck did she do?”
“She kissed him.”
The three of you stared at Yunho with wide eyes and dropped jaws.
“What?!”
“Yeah, Jongho told me about it.”
Your brain, at that point, was erroring out as it tried to recollect the events of that night while Mingi, on the other hand, was so insulted.
“You knew about this and didn’t tell me?!” he asked, feigning injury.
“I thought he told you! What do you want me to do about it?”
“Just check in with me next time! We should share everything with each other, Yunho.”
Yunho and Mingi continued to bicker in the background as you finally, finally, remembered what happened that night.
“Y/N, you’re home,” he said quietly while standing you upright. “Where are your keys?”
“In my pocket," you said with a slight giggle— the jeans you had on actually had front pockets, so you usually stashed your keys in there so you wouldn’t have to wear a purse when you had those jeans on.
With a sigh, Jongho carefully dug into your pocket, his fingers lightly grazing your upper thigh. You couldn’t help but let out a little moan; his action was so minimal and unintentional, but it still felt fucking good. God, you were definitely wasted.
Then, a crazy thought entered your drunken brain. You realized that you needed to thank Jongho for getting you home safe. Granted, it was his job as your best friend (not really, but what are friends for?) to make sure you made it home, but you still had to thank him, right? So, right after Jongho unlocked your door and opened it for you, you grabbed him by the collar, and you thanked him by kissing him.
To be honest, it was the world’s most anti-climactic kiss. Your lips just pressed against his, and that was it. When you moved away, you could see that Jongho was in complete shock, his jaw dropped slightly. His eyes were darting back and forth as he tried to decipher what the fuck you just did. His hands, which were previously on your shoulders, dropped to the side, limp.
That’s when you made the situation worse. You pulled him towards you again and kissed him properly. It was a gentle kiss, your lips enveloping his upper lip, your hand moving from his collar to his neck to make the kiss the slightest bit more sensual. And, to your surprise, you felt his hands on your waist. He reciprocated the kiss, bringing his body closer to yours as he kissed you more passionately. You were practically melting in his arms the longer he kissed you, your brain officially erroring out as you lost yourself in him.
When the chain of kisses ended, you found yourself dazed. You truly didn’t know what to say or do, so you just patted his chest and whispered, “I… Uh… Good night, Jongho…”
Jongho seemed unfazed, as if he wasn’t just making out with you seconds prior. He nodded and patted your head while responding, “Good night, Y/N. Sleep well.”
“Yeah, you too…”
Brain fuzzy, you crashed in your bed, your face still rosy and your lips slightly sore from kissing your best friend. Your best fucking friend.
You buried your face in your hands when you realized what you did, your mind chanting “what the fuck?” over and over again. You felt someone’s hand on your shoulder, but there was no way you were going to be consoled so easily.
“Y/N, don’t worry about it. It was a tiny mistake,” Hongjoong said softly. “We all know that you’re not usually like that.”
“I’m sick and tired of people telling me not to worry about it,” you groaned. “And being drunk is not an excuse… I… What do I do?”
The four of you were silent until Yunho said quietly, “I think you should just talk to him.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, just talk it through. You guys are best friends, and I don’t like seeing the two of you avoiding each other.”
“Wait,” your head snapped up. “What do you mean each other? I thought I was avoiding him…”
“Why do you think he’s not here right now?” Yunho pointed out.
You gaped. Trivia was about to start soon, and Jongho was nowhere in sight.
“Where is he?”
All you did was kiss the guy, but you felt the guilt weighing on your shoulders not just because of the kiss but because of everything else you did following the kiss. The guy was your best friend for crying out loud. If it was just the kiss, you would’ve apologized immediately, and all would’ve been well, but the dreams just made it so much harder for you to do anything— even knocking on his apartment door was fucking difficult.
You somehow mustered the courage to do it, and after a couple of seconds, Jongho answered the door. He was wearing his standard class outfit: jeans, a hoodie, and a jean jacket; but he looked so fucking hot, so boyfriend material in them, that your heart actually skipped a beat or two.
“Hey,” Jongho spoke first, pulling you out of your head before you could spiral into a dizzy daydream.
“H-Hey, uh… Can I come in?”
Holding the door open, Jongho invited you in. You walked in hesitantly, awkwardly. You’d been in his apartment so many Goddamn times, so you shouldn’t have been so timid, but your anxiety truly got the better of you.
The two of you ended up taking a seat at his tiny dining table, the man sitting across from you. You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt as you looked down and tried to spit out something, anything.
“So…” you finally uttered. “I wanted to apologize.”
“For what?” Jongho genuinely sounded confused.
“I got really drunk the other night—”
“Y/N, it’s fine. I told you not to worry about it.”
“No! It’s not fine, Jongho,” you shook your head. “I— I came onto you, which was totally not cool of me, and I’m really sorry for that. I don’t like that you’re uncomfortable around me, which is totally valid considering what I did, but like… You’re my best friend, and it’s so weird that we’re avoiding each other like this…”
“Wait… Huh?”
“What?”
“I didn’t think you remembered, which is why I told you to not worry about it,” Jongho explained.
“I mean, I didn’t at first, but then it came rushing back to me like just now at the bar after Yunho told me what I did, and God, I feel awful for doing that to you,” you rambled.
“Why do you feel awful?”
“Because I kissed you without consent…? Isn’t that why you were avoiding me?”
“That… That wasn’t nonconsensual, Y/N…” Jongho started mumbling as the tips of his ears turned red.
“What… Um, what do you mean, Jongho?” you asked in a small voice.
“I mean…”
Jongho pressed his lips together and looked away, his ears turning redder as he ran his fingers through his hair. The guy was embarrassed as fuck, but he still managed to look so attractive that it made your heart, and your cunt, clench hard. He left his hand on the back of his head as he brought his gaze back to you.
“I kissed you back…”
Your jaw dropped slightly. Stammering, you asked, “S-So… What, uh.. What does that mean?”
“That I kissed you because I wanted to. Because I like you. And I was avoiding you because… Well, I didn’t want you to know that I, uh, had feelings… For you…”
Your face erupted into flames. You looked straight down at your lap, your eyes darting back and forth as you tried to make sense of the situation. The two of you were absolutely silent as clouds of embarrassment and slight tension filled the room.
“Wait…” Jongho broke the silence. “So, if you just remembered, then why were you avoiding me?”
“O-Oh… Because…” you forced yourself to get the words out— knowing him, he wouldn’t let you go without a proper explanation, and there was no way you were going to be able to lie to him at that point. Plus, even if you didn’t tell him, Mingi was going to, and it was definitely better that you told him than your dumbass friend.
“Spit it out, Y/N,” Jongho said, his voice breaking you out of your trance.
“Right.. Because I, uh… I had a sex dream about you… And now I can’t… Not see you… In… That… Way…”
And with that, you buried your face in your hands, trying to extinguish the red on your face; you could practically feel steam leaving your ears because of how embarrassed you were.
Jongho, meanwhile, was completely taken aback, but in the best way possible. If you were dreaming about him in that sense, did that mean you liked him back? That the feelings were mutual? That the kiss actually meant something whether you realized it or not?
While you were dying of embarrassment, Jongho hugged you— he thought he was reassuring you, but it only made you more shy and a little turned on feeling the way he hugged you securely to his surprisingly firm yet soft chest (you hugged him all the fucking time, so why you were only noticing it now was a mystery to you). You were so ready to let out a squeal— more like a dying dolphin noise— of embarrassment when you felt him choke down a chuckle and start petting your hair. Goddammit, was he trying to drive you insane?
Luckily, Jongho didn’t push the topic further (yet). The embarrassment slowly died down, and when you felt your heart unclench, you timidly hugged him back, and once you calmed down enough, he let go of you. Then, he fucking made your heart skip a million beats when he brushed your hair out of your face and looked at you with the softest eyes you had ever seen on him. You had seen him with plenty of girlfriends in the past, but this was the first time you had ever seen him display so much affection— and for you, of all people.
At some point, the two of you migrated to his sofa where you were sipping on water on one end of the long sofa and he was sitting in the arm chair next to the sofa like a fucking king. You had to keep your eyes on your water because if you got even the tiniest glimpse of his thighs and the way he was manspreading, you would fully combust.
“Y/N,” Jongho asked, his voice softer than ever.
“Yes!” you sat up attentively. “I-I mean, yeah…?”
You for sure thought Jongho was going to laugh at your actions, but he didn’t. He looked like everything was normal, but his ears were bright red once again.
“So…” he started. “In this dream… What happened?”
You choked on your water. You knew he was going to ask at some point, but you didn’t think he would actually ask you. You set the cup of water down on the coffee table in front of you and sighed softly before explaining the dream to him.
And as you explained your dream to him, Jongho’s face didn’t change in the slightest. He took all of your words in and just kept nodding, making it a little easier for you to tell him. Finally, after you finished retelling your dream— you only told him the dream that started all because God forbid he ever found out about you touching yourself while thinking about him in your dreams— he nodded and said, “Oh, wow… Hopefully, I live up to the way you dream made me out to be… Well, only if you’re okay with that.”
You blinked and froze, the words slowly starting to sink in. Was he asking for consent? Oh my God, did he want to fuck you?!
Without realizing it, you nodded slowly, your body taking over your mind. Then, you whispered, “I’d… I’d like to experience it for real…” giving him the verbal consent that he wanted.
Jongho held out his hand, willing you to hold it. He tugged your hand to make you get up and stand before him, and before you knew it, you were straddling him, your ass pressing against his knees. He was looking up at you with the softest, sparkliest eyes that you’d ever seen on him, making your heart skip a beat but in a way that was different from the way your wet dream version of him did.
With one hand on your back and the other weaving his fingers through your hair, Jongho led your head to meet his, his lips pressing against yours softly. He kissed you slowly, passionately. You were holding onto his shoulders at first, only for you to move your hand to his face and cup his cheek, the kisses deepening, your tongue slipping into his mouth as you felt your body slowly start to heat up.
His hands moved from your hair and back to your thighs, the palms of his hands rubbing against your clothed thighs so slowly and sensually that electricity zapped through all of your nerves. He let out little gasps and groans in between your kisses, his fingers pressing into your thighs when you tugged upwards on his lower lip.
Jongho was a lot more calculative with his actions in real life than in your dreams. His hands trailed from your thighs to around your butt, only to rest on the small of your back, his fingers teasing you by tugging at the waistband of your pants but not actually moving them down. You whined lightly against his lips, your hands gripping the collar of his jean jacket to get him to stop teasing you and start stripping both you and him down.
What sold him on moving faster was not the threat of your grip, but the way you were rolling your hips into him, the slightest movement making the bulge in his pants grow bigger and tighter; and it certainly did not help when you ran your fingers along his neck, one finger lingering on the little mole on his neck.
His intensity increased immediately. His hands went under your thighs and shifted you so that you were straddling only one of his thighs. He pushed down on your waist so that you were fully sitting on his thigh before running his hands up your shirt, his fingers brushing along the sensitive spots on your back.
The two of you only stopped kissing when you forced him to take off his jacket and when he helped you get out of your shirt, his eyes scanning your body as you tossed the shirt to the side.
“W-What? What is it?” you whispered, suddenly self-conscious and slightly reluctant to take your bra off.
“You’re stunning, Y/N,” he breathed out, his hands tracing the curve of your waist.
The compliment made you all sorts of shy all over again, making you bury your face in the nook of his neck. Jongho used that opportunity to unhook your bra, the straps slipping off your shoulders the second the band released. You ended up slipping the bra off, leaving your entire torso exposed. You felt the blush on your face get more intense when his hands and lips roamed your body, the man’s eyelashes fluttering as he left tiny, soft kisses along your skin.
Your hips resumed rolling, your clothed cunt rubbing along his thigh as his hands cupped and clutched your breasts. His hands kneaded your breasts continuously as he left little pink marks along your collarbone, chest, cleavage; and finally, when his mouth found your nipples, his hands moved back to your ass and held the underside of your ass securely as he sucked and nibbled on your tit.
“Jongho!” you cried as you flung your head back. “I— Angh— I—!”
You couldn’t form a single thought the second he started moving the waistband of your pants down. The only thing you could do was forcibly move his head up so that he was forced to look into your eyes, his dark hair covering his sparkling eyes slightly.
“I want you to fuck me already,” you whispered— more like whimpered— while grasping the collar of his shirt.
Wordlessly and effortlessly, Jongho stood up with you in his arms, your legs automatically wrapping around him as he carried you to his bedroom. He laid you down on his bed gently before starting to slowly remove his own clothes.
It was dark in his room, but thanks to the moonlight and the lights from the city, you were able to see his muscles and toned body reveal themselves as the clothes came off, and when he took off his pants, you saw that his cock, his girthy cock, was impatient and ready to go— you couldn’t even imagine the amount of self-restraint he was using if his cock was that red and angry.
Jongho turned to his nightstand and produced a condom. He tore the packet open and tossed it somewhere before rolling the condom on and getting on the bed next to you.
“C’mere,” he whispered as he laid down.
Soon, you were straddling him once more, your wet cunt hovering above his erect cock. At first, you thought he was going to ask you to ride him, but instead, he pulled your arms down so that you were essentially pinning him down, his lips making contact with yours as your chest pressed against his. His fingers ran through your hair and held the back of your head as he pushed your face closer to his, allowing his tongue to slip into your mouth.
You were so distracted by his tongue dancing with yours that you didn’t even realize his hands moved to your ass and his cock, lining up your entrance with the tip before pushing you down slowly, the girth of his cock spreading you so wide that you thought you were going to tear.
You cried against his mouth as he filled you up, your ass pressing against his thighs as he remained still inside you. Your walls clenched tightly around his fat cock, making him sharply inhale in between kisses, a little grunt escaping him shortly thereafter.
After a couple of seconds, you were able to relax your pussy just enough to start moving comfortably, your ass slapping his waist lightly as you moved your waist up and down. You moved slowly and gently at first as you moaned against Jongho’s lips, your chest rubbing against his, your nipples getting more sore by the second.
But, you were going a little too slow for the man underneath you. His hands, still on your ass, held onto you tightly as his waist jerked upwards. Your ass slapped against his waist so hard that the sound echoed in the room, and it felt so fucking good that your lips left Jongho’s so you could cry out in pleasure.
Jongho wanted to hear those cries more, so he continued to ram his waist upwards, and as he did so, he moved your ass so that he was continuously rubbing against your G-spot, making your orgasm arrive way sooner than you expected. You moaned loudly and dropped your head into the nook of his neck as you came, your cunt creaming around his dick.
You were panting heavily as Jongho sat up, his cock still deep inside you. Yet, he didn’t move. You remained seated on his lap as he gave you a second to recover and blink the stars out of your eyes as he moved his lips to your neck, peppering small kisses along your soft skin. His arms wrapped around you, his fingers pressing lightly into your waist and back, his nails tickling you ever so slightly. You rested your arms on his shoulders and let out euphoric sighs as he kissed you all over, leaving the occasional pink mark on your skin as he worked his way around the blank canvas of your body.
He started leaning into you the more he kissed you until he had you pinned to the bed. He was hovering above you when your back settled into the mattress, his hands laid flat right above your shoulders. The two of you just stared at each other, your mouths slightly open as you breathed in unison. Jongho’s hair was covering his eyes slightly, but you could still see them sparkle as he gazed into your eyes. His soft touch brushed against your temple as he moved your hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear before cupping your face and kissing your lips lightly, a small smile appearing on his face.
You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and brought him closer to you, your lips yearning for him to kiss you more deeply, more passionately; and your waist shifted slightly and impatiently as you waited for him to fuck you. The second he locked lips with you again, his hips gyrated into yours, the light slaps of your waist meeting his filling the room.
Jongho’s pace slowly started speeding up, and the intensity of his thrusts increased exponentially as your cunt started taking the shape of his cock. Your insides started heating up to the point where you thought the friction was going to start a fire within you, and every time his waist rammed into yours with a satisfying slap, you let out a gasp mixed with a moan, your head pushing back further into the mattress.
Your legs wrapped around his waist completely, allowing him to thrust even faster into you. Jongho kept gasping your name softly as his orgasm neared, the melodic sound of your name leaving his lips making your body tingle all over and your toes curl. You hugged him even closer to you so that his chest was against yours and his nose was rubbing against the crook of your neck, his hot breath tickling your skin.
“You’re close, aren’t you?” Jongho gasped as you clenched around him.
You bit your lower lip and nodded, stars reappearing in your vision. Just seeing you bite your lower lip was enough for him. Jongho snapped his hips into yours with such force that made you cum hard, your walls fluttering as your arousal squirted out. Jongho, meanwhile, also came, his cock twitching as his cum filled the condom.
As you recovered from your high, Jongho pulled out and removed the condom before stroking himself a couple more times, ropes of cum decorating your torso as he finished completely on you, a groan of pleasure and relief rumbling in his chest. Then, wordlessly, he got off the bed and disappeared into his apartment.
You were able to push yourself up by the time Jongho returned with towels and water. He handed you the glass, and you took tiny sips of the water as you watched him wipe you down.
“Tell me something,” he said to you. “Was that as good as your dream?”
Jongho looked up at you as he waited for you to respond. So, you cupped his face and led him towards you to leave a lingering kiss on his lips.
“No, it was better.”
You thought you would be waking up from another dream, but no. This time, when you woke up, you woke up to see your best friend’s sleeping face right in front of yours, his soft features relaxed and beautiful. He looked so peaceful, so pretty while sleeping that it kind of made you jealous that he could look like fucking Sleeping Beauty.
You shifted slightly, immediately making the sleeping man hug you closer to his bare chest, his soft skin making you shiver slightly. And when you felt his gentle exhale flit past your ear before he buried his nose in your hair, every single nerve in your body tingled happily.
As Jongho continued to sleep, you observed him, your eyes landing on the little freckle on his neck. You absentmindedly traced your nail along it lightly, tickling him and subsequently waking him up.
“Mmm, good morning,” he uttered, his low morning voice echoing in your ear.
You’d had many sleepovers with him in the past, and you’d heard his morning voice many, many times in the past, but having him talk right into your ear like that was too sexy, too stimulating for you that early in the morning, your heart and cunt fluttering.
“Good morning, Jongho,” you whispered back.
Hugging you even closer, Jongho let out a happy exhale before leaving the faintest of kisses on your temple, making your heart skip and making you realize that you were falling for him.
in which, mingi swears he’s not a bottom, or submissive, but god he’s definitely both of those.
“i’m not a bottom!” mingi shouts as the tips of his ears glow a sheepskin pink.
“you definitely are darling..” you pat his back as he sighs in defeat.
he whines, “what if i prove it to you?” he smiles softly as he goes to twirl your hair around his finger.
you look him dead in the eyes, with something stronger than need.
he submits.
he drops to his knees with his hands carefully caressing your thighs. he nuzzles up to your waist, breathing in your scent.
“hmmmyeah? your such a good boy for me aren’t you?” you cross your arms over your chest as his fingers move slowly and gently towards your core.
you almost fold as your thighs squeeze together slightly.
you fall back onto the couch behind you, spreading your legs.
“i’m hungry…” mingi mumbles with a soft stuffy whimper leaving his lips.
mingi folds. he grips your waistband tightly, his grip loosens slightly as he tugs your sweatpants down.
your sweatpants fall to your ankles as mingi whimpers soft things against your skin.
things like, “please baby..!” and “i know how you taste… but let me know again..!”
he moans, not a whimper or a whine. he moans. a full guttural moan that makes a shiver go down your spine.
“what is it you want, baby?” your voice his soft and gentle, condescending if you will.
mingi nods, a surge of arousal rushes through his body.
“i need you..” he groans, hooking two fingers on your panties before putting them to the side.
your head rocks back as you bite your lip to hold back moans. this is the most control mingi has had in ages.
you can’t speak and neither can mingi. he inches closer, positioning his mouth near your warmth.
“go… ahead … princess..!” you whimper softly, your hand never leaving his head.
mingis tongue darts out, his tongue lapping your wet folds that makes you shiver.
he scoots closer and closer, eating you out like there’s no tomorrow. his breathing becomes uneven.
your thighs tremble with arousal. you feel your orgasm building slowly in your abdomen. his tongue works hard, circling your clit and teasing your needy entrance.
you wrap your fingers in his dark hair as he squeezes your thighs tight.
“m—mingi…!” you moan as your back arches slightly.
he nods against your warmth with a predatory growl that shakes your core, “your doing so good..” he mumbles softly against the inside of your thigh.
he trails kisses around your entrance before going back to sucking on your clit.
your climax is closer than ever. you squeeze your thighs against his head as you try to pull away from him.
though, he grips your hips pulling you closer to his mouth.
you shudder out a whimper, your climax edging closer and closer. practically on the tip of mingis tongue, tasting it, savoring it.
you erupt in a moaning fever. your orgasm shakes though you.
mingi groans against your thighs, your arousal covering his nose and chin.
he slaps your thigh as he leans in to kiss you, making you taste your own release.
maybe mingi isn’t, “just a cute little bottom” after all?
a/n: hai i’m working on so much right now :p this is mainly for my friend zoe who is working away right now so this will be a nice surprise when they get off work LOL :3 ENJOY!!
in which, seonghwa dresses up in drag as a joke between their (matz) friend group, but hongjoong can’t contain himself.
the loud ruckus of 8 men around a circle table on hongjoongs balcony is deafening.
drinking, smoking, laughing and playing truth or dare.
these events only happened every once in awhile due to everyone being employed and well … busy.
wooyoung giggles as he slaps his hand on the table, “seonghwa hyung.. dress up in drag for us will ya?” wooyoungs words are slurred slightly, his tone bubbly and light.
the table erupts in laughter as seonghwa vigorously shakes his head, “absolutely not!” he laughs softly.
hongjoong places a small hand on seonghwas mid back, “awhh come on hwa!” he laughs.
“it’s a dare!” wooyoung is still laughing, “a triple dog dare!”
the house seems to shake with “AHH” and “OHHH,” everyone standing, jumping and shaking seonghwa.
“fine fine FINE!” he laughs, standing up and brushing off his lap.
“you know where my closet is..” hongjoong laughed softly before turning back to his drink.
everyone settles back in their seats, on edge to see what seonghwa will dress up like.
in hongjoongs closet, seonghwa stands still, rubbing his forehead with his free hand on his hip. he sighs before walking over to a drawer and opening, finding a collection of jeans and long pants.
not the drawer.
seonghwa knew that hongjoong has a drawer of dresses and skirts for .. some odd reason but he never really thought about it.
finally, seonghwa opens a small door and finds a large number of dresses.
“jackpot…” he mutters to himself before scrolling through the catalog.
eventually he wore a black thick strapped mermaid gown with lace detailing on the bodice and a dramatic floor-length train, accessorized with a ruby and diamond necklace and matching earrings set in silver, and completed the look with louboutin heels.
he looks at himself in the mirror, he always grew out his hair to hide his face, he’s pulled back his hair into a nice half up half down and… damn even he thinks he looks nice.
the heels click on the marble floors as he walks back to the group, he takes a deep breath before rounding a corner to show himself to his friends.
the laugher and conversations pause before clapping, cheering and random yelling.
“damn seonghwa!”
“he cleans up nice as a female!”
“ouu okay you look nice hyung!”
“its unnie now!”
“holy fucking shit.”
hongjoong freezes.
he’s never seen seonghwa like this and he wouldn’t mind seeing it all the time.
seonghwa does a little spin, posing as a model does.
“soooo… when can i take it off?” seonghwa laughs nervously.
“hopefully never, sit down, your not taking it off the rest of the night!” wooyoung demands, pointing at the empty chair across from him.
“what!” seonghwa protests, “i didn’t agree to this?”
“well now you do!” wooyoung smiles as he walks over to seonghwa to guide him to his seat, his hand resting on his hip.
seonghwa shakes his head before sitting down in the chair.
the night is filled with laughter and playful flirts towards seonghwas look.
“alright im gonna head out guys.. im done for..” mingi stretches and stands, quickly towering over the table of men.
one by one they all stand after mingi leaves, pulling the same excuses they always did.
it was now down to just seonghwa and hongjoong, sitting in the nice appreciated silence.
“you look nice..” hongjoong speaks softly, his tone the same whiny tone he always has when he’s drunk.
seonghwa shakes his head, the earrings hitting his cheeks.
hongjoong leans closer filling the already small gap between them, “you don’t think so?” he tilts his head slightly and bites his lip.
“hongjoong… you know why i grow out my hair..” seonghwas tone seems serious but his words are slurred together.
hongjoong nods, “i do i do..” he smirks slightly, “you like dressing up like this?” he gestures towards seonghwas outfit.
“eh.. it doesn’t bring me benefits or anything..” he shrugs as he looks down at his lap and actually realizing how long he’s been in this dress, “ah i should take this off!”
just as seonghwa goes to stand up, hongjoong stands with him aswell, grabbing him and pulling him close.
“let me help you..” his voice hissed as his hand grips against seonghwas hip just a little tighter.
seonghwa blushes, “i- i think i got it jagi..”
“calling me ‘jagi’ now?” hongjoong giggles, “please?” he tilts his head like a puppy.
seonghwa has never felt any sexual attraction towards hongjoong nor any men for that matter, but seeing hongjoong drunk and needy like this sent shivers down his spine.
seonghwa doesn’t say anything, he just grabs hongjoongs hand and leads him to his room.
“i want not a word from you..” seonghwas voice hissed strict and heavy.
hongjoong nods as he lays down on his bed, “what if i don’t want a word from you either?” hongjoong looks intimidating now, his eyes look like he’s been possessed by something sickening.
seonghwa malfunctions, “i-”
“that’s right, now come here.” hongjoongs voice is commanding, like a military drill sergeant.
seonghwa swallows the frog in his throat and steps close and onto the bed with hongjoong.
“such a pretty girl..” hongjoong hisses as he reaches out for seonghwas face, pulling him in for a kiss.
seonghwas body melts against hongjoongs, his knees around hongjoongs hips and the dress is slightly balled up at his waist.
hongjoongs hands slide down seonghwas body, making seonghwa moan slightly into the kiss.
hongjoong starts moving seonghwa against his hips, making him whimper against the kiss too.
this has gone too far and neither of them are going to remember this.
“come on.. take this off will you?” hongjoong kisses seonghwas neck as one of his hands slide back up to pull on the strap of the dress.
all the liquor and drugs seonghwa had tonight is making its final settlement, “fine fine i- i will..” his words are slurred together, so bad to the point where if seonghwa himself was sober, he wouldn’t even know what he said.
seonghwa removes the dress, tossing it onto the floor as he straddles hongjoong again, this time only in his boxers.
“aish.. your gonna be the death of me…” hongjoong whines as his hips roll against seonghwa.
“come on.. i don’t have all night you know!” seonghwa laughs, scooting down on the bed so he’s perfectly aligned with hongjoong.
he slowly starts unzipping hongjoongs jeans with a little smile on his face.
he tugs on his jeans pulling them down, hongjoongs cock slaps against his stomach making him cry out.
seonghwa wraps his mouth around hongjoong sucking him slowly, “fuck... hwa..” his voice is strangled and whiny as his fingers curl in seonghwas hair.
seonghwas cheeks hollow, taking him faster. his head bobs as hongjoongs head falls back against the pillows behind him with a throaty groan that turns into a laugh.
“you are so.. good princess…” he whines, gripping the sheets next to him so hard his knuckles turn white.
just as seonghwa goes to speak. he blacks out.
his memory ends there.
he doesn’t know what happened.
he wakes up, everything had on that night is on the floor along with hongjoongs. his head tilts in confusion before he looks over to his side to find hongjoong passed out with hickeys littering his neck.
“wake the fuck up.” seonghwa says, his tone a lot more angrier and cold than last nights sweet bubbly tone.
seonghwa shakes hongjoong until he stirs, “what..?” he groans as he rubs his eyes.
“what did we do?” his voice is stern as he stands, quickly covering himself.
hongjoong looks equally as confused, lifting the covers to find himself naked, “i- i don’t know?” he defends.
“don’t you have cameras or something?” he pauses as he shoves his body into his clothes that were folded on a chair in the corner of hongjoongs room, “find out.” he scolds.
seonghwa leaves without question. he’s angry with hongjoong and himself for whatever happened, all he knows is that he sucked hongjoong off.
he doesn’t call a taxi to get back to his home, he walks the 6 blocks in the late morning rain.
he sits in his living room for hours, watching nothing but the clock as it spins.
his phone buzzes with text messages from hongjoong but he doesn’t want to reply.
eventually there’s rapid knocking at the door and it’s hongjoong.
“listen.. i— whatever we did can stay between us!” hongjoong whines though the door.
“go away.” he growls like a moody teenager.
“hwa please… i promise just open up..” he knocks on the door again, his head leaning against the door as he knocks.
seonghwa groans before crawling his way to the door, “do you not get it?”
“get what…?”
“your straight hongjoong!” he laughs nervously his voice cracking, “you probably just fucked another straight guy!” he runs his temples with one hand.
“sor—” seonghwa doesn’t let him finish.
“no listen because i’m not gonna sit here and watch you cry and whine your way back into my life so you can see me in drag again!” he shouts even louder, “either leave … or — or — or i’ll strangle you!” he sobs.
hongjoong gets angry, pushing seonghwa farther into his home to he can step in, “you think i’m not as equally disgusted with myself!” he scoffs.
“your asking for it you fucking piece of shit.” seonghwa lunges forward, choking hongjoong just tight enough to where he can still breathe.
hongjoongs hands grip around seonghwas shoulders like a lifeline. slapping, punching and trying to kick him.
“s—stop..” hongjoongs words come out dry and forced as he taps on seonghwa twice, signaling that he needs to be let go.
seonghwa pushes harder, grips harder. he completely blocks off his airway which sends hongjoong into a panic.
“you tricked me!” he shouts as hongjoongs grip on his shoulders slowly becomes weaker, “why hongjoong! why!” his shouts break into sobs.
hongjoongs eyes flickers shut and his arms go limp, “hongjoong i-” seonghwa realizes the matter of what he just did.
he stumbles back with his breaths coming out shaky and nervous, tears roll down his face slowly.
he crawls back over to hongjoong, “please..” he shakes him, his tears falling onto hongjoongs face.
seonghwa lifts up hongjoong slightly and pulls him into a hug, his limp body heavy and uncomplying.
seonghwa starts doing chest compressions, “please come back to me..” he sobs.
a long stretched out breath comes from hongjoongs mouth.
he’s back.
seonghwa cries in victory, wrapping his arms around him in a hug.
hongjoongs body is still stiff, limp and heavy. seonghwa finds this out when he tries to lift him up.
“jesus christ man..” he says as his knees wobble, “let’s get you on the couch..”
hongjoong is heavy, but the nice kind of heavy. meaning he’s lean, build and strong himself.
seonghwa practically has a panic attack next to hongjoong, staring at his body while holding his hand like it would fly off if he wasn’t.
“hongjoongie…. please..” seonghwa pleads under his breath, preying to whatever his would listen.
just had he goes to give him more chest compressions, hongjoong sits up. delirious and confused on where he is.
“he—huh….?” hongjoongs voice is .. well strangled.
seonghwa wraps his arms around him in a hurry like he’s a life line, “oh hongjoong i’m so sorry i love you so much!” he sobs into hongjoong ls shoulder.
he blinks, before hugging him back.
seonghwa spends the next hour apologizing to hongjoong with kisses, head and being obedient. something he never complied to often.
a pity “she” does not exist, it’s a shame he’s not a fag. the only girl hongjoong ever loved was seonghwa in drag.
A/N: if you can tell i get tired half way through im so sorry 😭😭 this was rushed but its finished finally!! i have so many drafts to share with everyone and i cant wait to write them! thank you all for reading my crazy stories, even if it involves seonghwa choking out hongjoong 😭 i was literally googling if you could live after being choked and .. no BUT ITS FICTION SO WHO CARES!
in which, i can’t think of anything …. it’s headcanons 🥹
- who …. loves watching you sleep
- who …. can’t contain himself when around you
- who …. catches a boner when he “senses” you near him
- who …. sneaks into your apartment while your sleeping to kiss your forehead goodnight
- who …. takes polaroid pictures of you while your in public and if someone asks him what he’s doing, he says he’s a photographer
- who …. has a shrine of you in his closet
- who …. kills any hook up you have, no matter if it’s a one night stand, a date or just a night out.
a/n: keep an eye on that last sentence .. maybe i’m gonna make a fic off of it???? anyways have fun with this because i completely spilled it out of my ass 😭 i have a seonghwa fic in progress and 20 other fics to be done soon! ++ i graduated!!! i have a little more time to write BUT i am working over the summer so updates might me very slow! thank everyone so much again i love you all!
tags: angst, jerking off/handjob, early 2026 time frame, violence, 3rd wheel, gay awakening, sex mentions, making out, suggestive talk/hand placements, whining, whimpering, vaping, sobbing, canon woosan & yungi
in which, its now 2026, their 8th year as 8 members is approaching and yet, your still a trainee.
【pt 1】
it’s been almost 8 years since you’ve last heard from your “best friends”. you always check their instagram and youtube to see what they’ve been up too.
fans shipping members together, writing fanfics, and sharing their predebut pictures with you in the background. all things you should have been included in aswell.
the fomo is real. you’ve tried to dm San and Seonghwa but, they never answer.
the messages sent by them are long forgotten. their old kakao talk IDs don’t work anymore.
you try everything.
but they never answer. you genuinely start to lose all hope, until you remember, all trainees stay in the KQ building even after debut.
you ask people.
“hi uhm… i was a trainee, well i still am, but i was a trainee back when uhm ateez was training…. do you think i could see them?” you fidget with your fingers nervously.
“uhm…. what was your name?” the woman asked, typing and clicking on her computer screen.
“oh right… Y/N..” you state, your heart practically coming out of your chest.
the lady clicks around some more before putting a little smile on her face, “it’s not certain, but-”
“thank you! oh thank you!” you burst into tears, laying on the ladies desk.
“i can see… what i can do for you sweetheart..” she laughs as she stands up and pats your back, “go back to your dorm and i’ll talk to some people don’t worry..”
well, it’s officially been a month since that happened. and you haven’t seen your friends yet. just as you lose hope, the same manager from 8 years ago, who is now ateez head manager, knocks on your door.
“hey, Y/N right? it’s been some time!” he exclaims, closing the door behind him, “still a trainee? i didn’t expect you to be!” he smiles softly.
“sadly…” you pause to sigh softly, “why are you…. here?” you say to him, shifting on your bed slightly.
“well i heard from the great grape vine you wanted to see ateez again, is that correct?” he crosses his arms over his chest, hes not a very intimidating individual.
“i— uhm yeah!” your ears perk up and your heart beats with a quickness. “i do.”
the manager smiles, holding out his hand for you to take, “i have a group of people waiting for you in their dorm.”
you begin to cry, taking the man’s hand as he guides you to a part of the company you, as a trainee, couldn’t enter. your led towards a mysterious door way, there’s a small wood sign hanging from the dorm that says, “ateez dorm” and underneath it it has the room assignments.
as the manager opens the door, you see all 8 of the men sitting on the couch, gossiping and talking about upcoming events.
the dorm pauses their conversation to look at you.
San can’t breathe as he stands up.
“Y-Y/N?” San runs over to you, practically jumping over the couch, “i thought i would never see you again!” he hugs you tight, his build alot more muscular than you can remember.
“i- im sorry..” you say silently, sobbing as you hug him, the manager nods and slowly exits the dorm.
he pulls back from the hug, looking in your eyes before speaking, “what are you sorry for?”
just as you go to speak Seonghwa speaks up, “wait is he the one we shared a dorm with in 2018 before debut?” San nods, not breaking eye contact with you as he wipes tears away from your cheeks with his thumb.
“what?!” Mingi stands in shock, looking at both you and San.
that’s when you really come to realize that, ateez really did cherish you and love you.
just as you think San goes into kiss you, Wooyoung reaches over the couch to pull San away, maybe the rumors were true?
“i- im sorry Y/N…” San takes a deep breath, rubbing his forehead as Wooyoung glares at you, “the fans rumors are true..”
he goes to speak again but you cut him off, “what about our past?” you can’t look at him anymore as Seonghwa comes up behind you, hugging you tightly.
“there— it’s always been Woo…” San admits, his eyes closing to avoid eye contact.
you lean against Seonghwa in disbelief, “what?” your voice cracks, Seonghwa hugs you tighter and you can feel his tears dripping onto your shoulder.
“i made you a song, it— im sorry..” San tried to save himself but he can’t, he’s broke your not so lovable heart. “Now this house ain’t a home… it— it was made for you…” Sans voice cracks as he takes a deep breath in.
“i figured!” you shout, getting angry now, “that piece if me that never left?!” your shouts turn into sobs, “it’s the only song by you fuckers i can listen too!” Seonghwa grips you tighter, your shoulder damp with his tears.
“Y/N! please… i’m sorry!” San reaches out got you but Wooyoung stops him.
you sob more and more, “i did never leave!” you yell, gripping Seonghwas arms tighter but his arms tighten around your rib cage making you wince.
“OW fuck…!” you push Seonghwa off of you in defense, “i— i’m sorry hwa..” you try to apologize but that’s when Seonghwa points at your side and gasps.
blood.
the red color crawling through your shirt really contrasts with the blue shirt you were wearing. you try and cover your side but everyone’s seen it.
“what is- was that?” Yeosang says, standing up from the counter of the couch, “show us..” he walks over to the audience crowded by the door.
“i— i can’t..” you cry, wiping your eyes.
“i don’t care.”
“your gonna care when i show you!”
Yeosang eventually grabs your hands and grabs your shirt, pulling them both up with a quickness.
scars cover your right side rib cage, some look like they were done yesterday while others look like they were done 8 years ago.
San can’t help but drop to his knees sobbing his head in his hands as he sobs, whispering that it’s all his fault.
the room is almost deadly silent, even Sans sobs seem quiet in the large dorm. Seonghwa comes up behind you, ushering Yeosang away from you, your shirt falling over your scars again gently hiding them like they’ve always been.
“how long have you done that?” Seonghwas voice is scary, deep and nervous.
“what?”
“HOW LONG HAVE YOU DONE THAT?” he’s shouting now, you can’t speak.
“9 years..” you mumble.
“how long…” Yunho speaks up, his voice cracking nervously.
“over 9 years..” you say a little warmer and louder.
Yunho looks at you, then at your rib cage before rushing over to you with an aggressive hug, “i’m so sorry… i wish i noticed..” Yunho sobs into your shoulder, holding you tightly.
soon Mingi joins in on the hug, then Yeosang, Jongho, Seonghwa, Hongjoong, San and then Wooyoung. all 8 boys are hugging you with a tightness as you sob in the middle.
you take a deep breath after a while, you’ve calmed down slightly. everyone slowly backs away, ushering you to the couch to sit down and really collect yourself.
San is by your side at all costs, never leaving even when the rest of the group left to get food.
“i’m so sorry… i— i should have told you sooner..” Sans voice is low and weak.
“it— it’s fine i just wish you didn’t lie..” you sigh, your hands in your face.
“can i— can i kiss you now?” San places his hand on your thigh, looking at your eyes then your lips.
you don’t respond, you just kiss him, leaning against him with your hand on his cheek.
god you’ve missed him.
his hand inches slowly up your thigh, its final destination on your hip, his thumb rubbing small circles.
“fuck— i— ngh..” San tried to speak through the kisses but can’t.
only then did you realize what was happening.
“am i a side piece?” you back away from San to really look at him, he still looked the same after all these years.
“i— what?” San begins to grow nervous.
“i’m being serious, am i?”
“what no?”
“then why could you not even look at me earlier?”
“wooyoung—”
“it’s always wooyoung this wooyoung that, why can’t you have your own opinion, huh?”
you argue with San for what seems like forever until the group comes back with food, the smell of spices floating through the air.
“whatever.” you scoff and walk over to the rest of the group, who seems very happy to see that your still here.
you start to think the manager has forgotten about you, it’s almost midnight and no sight of him. it doesn’t bother you it’s just strange.
you’ve decided to sleep, it’s late, the only person willing to share a bed happens to be San. not that anyone had anything against you, they just…. didn’t want to share their beds, reasonable right?
wrong.
everyone as a queen bed, their just greedy and don’t wanna share!
as the time slowly creeps closer to 12:30 to begin to settle in Sans bed. he still had the same nighttime routine after all the years, wash face, brush teeth, put on a face mask and then he finally lays down. you watched this routine many times while still in training and you couldn’t believe he still did it.
“well, it’s bed time…”
“i know..”
“can… we at least not be awkward?”
“i guess…?”
it in fact was awkward.
you lay facing the right side while San sleeps facing the left side. you try to ignore the fact that you were a side piece and a practical 3rd wheel in your own relationship, so you snuggle up to San, breathing in slowly, smelling his face wash it happens to also be the same one he used years ago, you smile.
your right where you were ment to be and right where you want to be, forever and always.
San mumbles something, you don’t quite understand it or even hear it.
“hm? what was that?” your voice is low and filled with tiredness.
“i said…” he pauses, taking in a deep breath, most likely smelling your hair, “i said goodnight, i love you.”
you nod, your eyes fluttering shut due to the weight of them, “goodnight San, i love you too.” you mumble but still audible.
your body slowly shuts down, your feet go numb as it slowly traces up to your thighs then to your shoulders.
your drifting off into sleep.
the next morning, you stir with your back to San, his arms around you tightly with his hand over the spot on your rib cage that still stings slightly.
“mmmhh…” San also stirs just a little slower than you.
“come on Sannie..” you push off of him slightly trying to get up but he pulls you back down.
“5 more minutes jagi… please?” his voice his tired and slurred, but something about him calling you jagi again makes you want to cry.
“i— okay fine..” you agree reluctantly, laying back down slowly, the sun streaming through the curtains slightly, the sound of birds outside of the window gives you a feeling of reality.
you lay there for an eternity, slowly hearing the rest of the dorm wake, the other two in the shared room also stir.
Mingi is the first awake, seeing your eyes open, he smiles at you before slugging out of the room.
San is the second to wake, wrapping his arms around you tighter before sitting up in bed and slipping out of the room with you following slowly behind.
about 10 minutes later Seonghwa slinks out the room with his hair a mess.
“you look rough Hwa..”
“i cried before bed so obviously.”
“well okay damn.”
“i feel like crying again just because your here.”
“is that a good or bad thing?”
“good, i promise it’s good.”
Seonghwa wraps his arms around you for another hug, your arms wrap around his shoulders, one of your hands finding his hair that’s strangely soft and smelling quite good too.
you sigh against Seonghwa, loving this more than anything.
and you really thing about it, Seonghwa didn’t really change from debut either, his hair is longer, he dresses just a little more feminine but that’s about it. he’s still so pretty but also so fucking hot. seeing him this vulnerable and sad makes him look even more prettier than he already is.
soon as Seonghwa lets go, San, Mingi and Yunho hug you too. you wonder why everyone is so sad all of a sudden, you can feel the tension in the room. its strong and warm, giving a slight uncomfort to the room. you feel the eyes of the rest of the dorm on the huddle of silent cries and sighs. the huddle backs slightly, before leaving one by one. San staying longer than the rest.
he whispers in your ear, "I love you... I always have.." he places a soft kiss on your ear before he steps back, Wooyoung exiting his room finding San immediately and placing a soft kiss on his cheek and mumbling a soft, "good morning jagiya," under his breath.
San grabs his jaw lightly, kissing him fully. you walk away at this point, not only do you not want to watch two men kissing at the fucking crack of dawn. you hear Wooyoung laugh slightly, probably laughing at Sans non existent joke. your eye twitches slightly before you make your way the the kitchen to see Mingi and Yunho making out against the fridge.
"some things never change dear God.." you hear Mingi laugh that slowly turns into a moan.
you make yourself coffee like the old days, black and iced. you sit on the couch, engrossed in your phone and tiktoks.
"yah whatcha watching?" Sans voice is low as you feel his presence behind you, he leans against the couch as he looks at your phone screen.
you just happen to be watching Sans most recent tiktok, you didn't even notice that you were watching, "oh meeee? why don't you like it.. here.." he takes your phone but its still in view, he likes, favorites and reposts the post. he smiles before commenting, "if only y'all knew how he tasted.. y'all would go LIVIDDDD I tell youuuu [sticker]"
"what the fuck was that San?" Wooyoung is peering over his shoulder, making both you and San jump, turn, and jump again.
"oh oh right yeah.. uh.." He gallops to Wooyoung, pulling him into a tight hug, kissing all over his face, neck and collarbones. a soft whimper leaves Wooyoung as you turn back to your phone, scrolling past every ateez video you see now. you can't bear to see what they are doing together for the fans.
its almost 5pm now, some of the members have left and came back for their schedule and other things, you wanted to see ateez for maybe an hour or so, not a whole day. but the bright side is that you haven't relapsed cause well.... you're not home.
you start to wonder if the manager forgot about you until you get a call, the number is under the hybe building so... you answer.
"Y/N right?" the voice says over the speaker as you hold it up to your ear.
"uhm yeah.. why who is this?"
"oh right sorry.. this is the manager, the one who escorted you to the dorms..." he pauses, "I've gotten word from your trainer that he thinks your ready for debut."
you gasp, "so.. what does this mean for me?"
"you're gonna debut... just not with a newer group.." you hear the nervousness in the mans voice, it trembles slightly but just enough for you to hear it through the phone, "its an older group and honestly... I think you should have debuted in it to begin with but... I'm not the one to decide that.."
your heart races, your almost certain that he can hear it through the phone, "what... what group?" you take a shaky breath in as he talks again.
"well.. the reason I haven't gotten you out of their dorm yet is because I'm getting you used to the environment, and... well seeing how well you'll do with them in your life and wow... some sad stuff was said I cant lie to you." he pauses again, "you will debut with ateez. this will be a hard switch, cause they are in the middle of comeback season but I have your line ready and a studio ready for you to record."
you tear up, the words, "debut with ateez," is something you wanted to hear almost 8 years ago, you cant believe your about to spend the rest of your life with these idiots.
"we'll tell the fans in about a week."
"so when the tour starts?"
"yes when the tour starts."
after all, apparently once you became a trainee, you always knew you were gonna debut with these boys. you tell the boys about it and according to them, they've known for a while now. thats why they cried everytime they saw you.
maybe now your friends and family back home will be proud of you now that your not stuck under the spell of, "once a trainee, always a trainee"
-- --
A/N:
guys I completed this while sitting in the school library cus I didn't want to dissect :/ Im writing this at 1:59 and the bell rings at 2 ... THANK YOU AGAIN AND BYE I LOVE YOU ALLLLL
my first series :3 love her well pls she’s been in the works for some time now !
trope: sub! san x m!reader
tags: angst, jerking off, no sex, early 2018 time frame, violence, pre-debut ateez, 3rd wheel, gay awakening, sex mentions, making out, suggestive talk/hand placements, whining, whimpering, vaping, selfharm
in which, you're training alongside ateez, you sense their debut but KQ has yet to say anything to you about yours- you spiral, wanting to be 9 with ateez and debut with your best friends, esp choi san.
The dorm is quiet in the mornings, soft sunlight streaming through the living room curtains making you stir along with 5 other trainees in the building.
You share a room with Choi San, Park Seonghwa and one trainee you swear doesn't speak, you don't know his name or even how old he is. You share a whole dorm with Song Mingi and Jeong Yunho which those two have known each other since birth and you swear on it. the other two are honestly background characters, you don't talk to them and you don't plan on it.
You heard from both San and Seonghwa that they are choreographing and recording their debut song, they cant tell you the song title but Seonghwa sings the opening line and damn, the growl makes you bite your lip.
You crawl out of your bed, careful not to wake the other three in the room as you crawl to the kitchen for a cup of warm coffee but you notice someone on the couch. Its San. You jump with fear before sighing.
"Holy shit Sannie... what the hell are you doing?" You place a hand over your heart before walking the rest of the way to the kitchen.
"Yah I'm in my feels, I woke up at like 5am and couldn't go back to sleep!" He complains, "I was meditating~" He says through a smile before he stands and follows you to the kitchen, he finds you trying to work on making coffee, leaning against the counter like you always do when your really thinking.
"mmmm yeah..." You say, not knowing he was behind you, his hands find your waist pulling you close with a deep inhale, smelling your shampoo.
"Im gonna miss you when I debut..." He confesses, placing a kiss on your ear before hesitantly pulling away to stand near you and observe your movements.
"Ah yeah.. I guess I need more training?" The butterflies in your stomach dont make this any better, making your words slur and sound needy as you turn to him, your coffee brewing slowly behind you.
"Jagi- you're perfect the way you are.. I- I'll talk to the company, I need you in this group." San looks serious, his eyes sparkling with lust, his hands reaching out to touch you again, his hands and arms wrapping around your waist.
You don't respond, you can't and you won't.
You might start balling so you let him hold you, your foreheads touching as his hand slowly makes his way to your cheek before leaning in slowly, your eyes flutter shut slowly as you kiss him. You both hold the kiss for what seems like ever, long forgetting about your coffee; the only reason you both pull back is the wake up call that screams over the speakers in the ceiling of the dorm making everyone in the dorm room groan and open their doors.
You pull away from San as Yunho and Mingi come barreling out of their dorm, the smell of your coffee waking you from your trance. You grab your coffee as the living room lights come on, you pour some of the coffee you brewed into a small mug with your name in Korean plastered on the cup; the same one that everyone in the dorm has.
You can feel Sans eyes linger on you as you walk over to the couch, sitting in the small spot you normally sit in, San following behind sitting oddly close with your thighs touching.
Mingi and Yunho are bickering as they also float onto the couch together, the other three stay back in the rooms, most likely sleeping still or sitting on their phones. Your phone buzzes in your pocket against both yours and Sans thigh, it makes you jump slightly before you pull it out and check it.
@wooyounggg___
yo, make sure Seonghwa, San, Mingi and Yunho are up, we got early calls this morning~
[ Read 08:37 A.M ]
You choose not to respond but San does, "Yah make sure that their up... jagi- I'm right here!" He chuckles, grabbing your phone and typing a simple answer.
@babybabyluv_
yaaaaa woo, don't worry were up~ ;)
[ Read 08:37 A.M]
You groan before laughing and taking your phone back, "Okayy Sannieeeeuh, not needed!"
“oh what? can’t handle some teasing?” San speaks slow, barely heard over the bickering and laughter of Yunho and Mingi, his hand resting on your thigh.
“acting like you couldn’t either?” You say, your hands trembling slightly as they touch his waist that feels stiff but soft, he whimpers softly before biting his lip.
The manager slips in, making two of you jump slightly before you turn back to your coffee, black and lukewarm. The manager looks around the living room, counting heads before sighing and heading to the rooms, shouting at the men, before 3 men emerge from the hallway looking tired. Seonghwa sits next to you, his thigh almost sitting on top of yours.
“sorry.. i think i sat on you…” Seonghwa apologizes, his hand resting on your thigh.
Holy fucking shit—
You have never felt more turned on in your life than now. Park Seonghwa who is the sexiest man you think you’ve ever seen, masculine but deathly feminine, small waist but wider hips and shoulders. Your mind races, as you look to your right, Choi San, an equally beautiful and sexy man, clear skin, small but strong, smallest waist ever. your honestly surprised you didn’t completely lose control there, rip off your pants and throat fuck both of them infront of the manager, Mingi and Yunho.
You snap out of your trance to find the manager explaining some rules that will be implemented as some of the trainees debut, you don’t listen, you know you won’t debut, your “not good enough” and your “visual isn’t there”, you shrug as you place your hand over your crotch, trying to hide your hard on without making it obvious.
after the manager finishes and leaves, the 8 men scatter but you, San and Seonghwa stay on the couch, you've finished your coffee but you cant get up, you don't want to admit you've gotten hard over the men next you you.
you wait until San pulls Seonghwa up, leaving you there as they walk back to their shared bedroom with you.
you basically run to the bathroom, locking the door behind you. you pull yourself out of your pants, whining at the cold air hitting your tip. you begin stroking yourself at the thought of San and Seonghwa before stopping, you think to yourself.
"men?" you mumble, looking at yourself in the mirror, you've never liked boys or even thought about it but just being here and training, you've thought about it more than once. instead of finishing off you tuck yourself back into your pants and grab the small razor blade tucked behind the mirror.
"I'm sorry." you say, the weight of the blade feeling heavy in your hand as you lift up your shirt, some of the scars look years old while some of them look like they were done last week. you glide the blade across your rib cage with a whence, blood pools at the sight. 2 cuts, 3, 4, 5, you go on for what seems like forever before tossing the blade down in the sink with a clank.
“yaaa jagi are you in there?” San says through the door, you jump before putting the blade where it goes, behind the mirror and fixing your shirt.
“ah yes sorry here..” You open and unlock the door seeing San standing there with a towel wrapped around his waist, veins and a faint trail of hair leading below the towel.
“oh thank you, i’ll be quick..” San pushes through the door, finding the slight blood splatter in the sink but he doesn’t say anything as you leave.
it’s been quite the past couple of years training, but you’ve never felt so alone with yourself. you think your gay, your self harming, you miss your parents back in your home country, you miss everything but no one misses you.
your forgotten, like what your manager said, “once a trainee, always a trainee”
a/n
OMGGGGG my first series :3 i’ve been working so hard on this and this is ONLY part oneeee im not sure how long i want this to be but i’ll definitely be working on part 2 AND my other projects!! part two will be placed at least in the year 2025-26 as this one it set in early 2018 to late 2017 :3
a/n - only reason i write this now is because im working on quite literally 10 other fics rn and i need to feed my audience SOME HOW!!
Seonghwa —
needy, huge and so fucking sensitive. around 6-8 inches, soft pinkish with a light curve, and DAMN his girth is to die for..
he pins you down to the mattress, his cock slamming in and out of you unconsciously, he tries not to whimper but he can’t help but break. he grips your neck choking softly before he gives way, his body moving with a slight shudder. he’s reached his climax. he goes from grunting to full on whimpering as he can’t stop fucking you. you take it all, inch by inch. he finally slows, falling down almost on top of you as he tries to not whimper. god he’s sensitive.
Hongjoong —
massive but not very long. i’d love to see him swinging around a 8-10 incher but he’s definitely a solid 5-7, his girth makes up for it. sensitive, slightly reddish but still pink and not very much curve. he loves missionary.
your feet are higher than you could ever imagine, hongjoong is pounding into you with real force. he grunts once before absolutely shaking and whimpering, he’s so pathetic. he can’t keep his pace steady as he holds your hips tighter, your legs naturally falling to his hips, wrapping around him wanting to bring him closer than he already is. he plays with your clit as he worships your body with words like, “please cum for me like a good girl,” and “please cum… i’ll be a good boy mommy..” very different but god it made your body shiver. he finishes onto your body, collapsing next to you with soft whimpers. “round two?” he suggests through very gentle moans.
Yunho —
GOD DAMN. he’s so fucking massive it’s not funny. 9-10 itches, girth is there but still thin; a fruity pink-brownish that twitches everytime you make eye contact with it.
he holds your hips as you ride him, he’d always love watching your boobs bounce when you rode him, he’d reach up and squeeze one before he whimpers and whimpers. WHIMPER WARRIOR I TELL YOU. he whispers under his breath as you ride him, “i’m so close,” “please harder,” and “mommy please i’ll cum!” silly words that turn both you and him on. he loves when you call him puppy, it makes him genuinely cum, everytime you’ve said it to him while fucking, he’s came within seconds. he loves how you cock warm him after you both finish, keeping him aware.
Yeosang —
average but his girth makes up for it. he’s so sensitive to your touch that a 3-5 minute blowjob or handjob makes him nut. BODY. WORSHIP. he loves your waist and loves your curves. he loves you.
he’s letting you be on top this time, you’re riding him with pure pride in your eyes while his eyes looks like he’s gonna finish any time soon. he grips your waist with an immense amount of strength that it leaves a bruise or two. he squeezes his eyes shut as he whimpers softly and quietly, he can’t take it much longer as your speed slows down and becomes more of a tease. he nuts within seconds. he’s so sensitive it’s to die for.
San —
GIRTH OUT THE WAZOO I TELL YOU! not only is he 6-8 inches he’s so girthy. he has a slight curve aswell DAMN his dick is to DIE FORRR
his hands roam your body, “fucking— i love your body..” he whimpers his through as he pounds into you, eventually his hands land on your boobs, squeezing softly before leaning down to put one in his mouth, his tongue swirling around the nipple. he moans and whimpers with one final thrust, whimpering as he feels your walls tighten around his girth, he shoots his seed deep inside of you.
Mingi —
any one who says mingis dick isn’t fucking humongous is lying. 10-11 inches. no questions, and not only is he long and thick, he knows how to use it. he loves watching himself pull in and out of you, mirrors everywhere. cowgirl or doggy style is his favorite by far.
he holds your hair, yanking on it ever so slightly as he pounds into you relentlessly. your face is in the pillow, whimpering and moaning, his moans matching yours as they stretch out. “aish… your my good girl aren’t you?” he whimpers slightly, looking to the side to see your face in the mirror. wrecked. he can’t help himself but go faster and harder. he finishes, his speed slowing but not stopping. he whimpers before he pulls out, leaving a small trail of cum behind.
Wooyoung —
MIRRORS MIRRORS MIRRORS. he’s got a cute gold rimmed mirror that sits right where the headboard is gonna be. 6-8 inches with decent girth, he likes teasing you but it only makes him more overstimulated.
he’s behind you, pounding into you like there’s no tomorrow, he slaps your ass every few slaps. he loves watching himself in the mirror, his facial expressions and how much noise he makes. he whimpers relentlessly, it’s like he can’t stop until he pulls out, he shoots his seed all over your back, but he doesn’t collapse, “i’m not done.” he shoves himself back into you. he won’t be done with you until he’s made you cum 4 times.
Jongho —
average but girth again makes up for it. he's definitely the freakiest out of all of ateez. whispers little words in your ear like, "youre so pretty while getting wrecked," and "youre such a good little slut," just to turn you on. he loves wrecking you with overstimulation.
he holds your jaw as he pounds into you, whimpering with each strong thrust. your legs wrap around him as he leans down to whisper in your ear, "your so fucking dirty, your my dirty slut aren't you?" he moans quite loud as he picks up the speed, just as you finish he keeps going, thrusting through his own finish but he doesn't plan on stopping. he cant. "I'm addicted to you I don't want to pull out.." he says as he continues fucking you raw, deep, hard, and fast.
THANKS for reading, this is basically headcannons and I don't portray all of ateez as doms it was just for the plot :3 Im working so hard to keep everyone fed and I will def have some done by the end of May or middle of May ! thanks again and I will def be lerking on evbs fics ;)
