Tony Makes a Porno—(Tony/Any/Everyone) TW: Non-Consensual Sex Tape Leakage, Infidelity as a Plot, Professor/Student as a Plot, Violent Foreplay, Consensual Non-Con, Sex Slave as a Plot
Werewolf AU—(Stuckony) TW: Bigotry, PTSD, Canon Deaths, Actual Cinnamon Roll Howard Stark
Wolves and Wings AU—(Stuckony) TW: Major Injury, Mention of Rape
Heyo I know I tout about how you just need a good pair of shoes and maybe a good sports bra but I figure I'll list what I run with and expound a little bit about each item here. I put an asterisk (*) on the ones I feel are vital:
1 - A good pair of running shoes*
Now, I just bought a good pair of On shoes (they're a Swiss brand), and they ran me a good $120 on sale. About $160 full price. These will last me a year, maybe two, depending on if I keep up running throughout the winter. Ultimately, however, running shoes should last you between 300-500 miles. But! I supinate (turn my feet out) when I run, and only about 5% of runners do this. I need special shoes with extra support. If you don't supinate or over-pronate (turn your feet in) while you run, you probably don't need to spend that much, though running shoes as a whole have gotten pretty expensive due to *waves hands around at everything*. I can only suggest going into a store and asking the employee what they would suggest for a budget running shoe. But considering your entire body depends on the safety of your feet/ankles, it's worth the money.
That said, the practical part: It's always good practice to purchase a half size above your normal shoe size. Your feet will swell and flatten as you run, along with sliding forward in your shoe. Having the extra space will keep you from developing blisters, black toenails, and general discomfort. Also, you don't want your shoelaces to be too tight. Loosen the laces in the middle so you don't disrupt blood flow, and if the half size larger causes heel rubbing, you can use the heel-lock lacing technique to secure them better around your ankle so there's less rubbing. (If rubbing persists, try the half-size down, or purchase some moleskin and apply it where the shoes rub.) Here is a link to the heel-locking lace technique, but there are plenty of videos available as well:
The extra holes on your shoes are called heel locks, runner’s loop or runner’s tie. It creates a super-tight finish & prevents heel slippage
2 - Running socks*
I always go on about shoes, but socks are actually just as important! School might have always told you to wear cotton socks to PE, but they're actually not great to exercise in; cotton doesn't wick moisture, it absorbs it, making your feet more susceptible to blisters, fungal infections, and bad odor. They're a little spendy for a pair of socks, but they're worth their weight in gold. I suggest at least one pair of running socks, though two might be better so you can wear one pair while the other is being washed. (If you can only afford one pair and don't do laundry frequently enough, I'd suggest handwashing them in the sink, rolling them up in a towel and squishing to get out excess water, then leaving them to air dry until your next run.) Running socks are usually a mixture of Merino wool and synthetics, and the wool will wick the moisture rather than absorb it. This will ultimately make for healthier, safer feet.
3 - A good sports bra*
Listen, I'm a size where I could fucking knock myself out with my boobs if I didn't strap them down. I typically wait until there's a sale on sports bras before I buy them, though. If you're running, you'll want a high-impact sports bra. When trying them on, jog in place, jump a few times, even jog up and down outside the fitting room if you feel comfortable, and focus on how supported you feel. Like any other bra, most of the support is in the band, so make sure that part fits properly. I'll admit, sometimes my boobs are a little too squished, but I'll put up with it if the band feels properly supportive.
4 - Anti-chafing stick
I wear this on my thighs when I'm wearing running shorts, but some people may find it helpful in other areas, like under your arms or on your bra line. It's crazy where you'll find out you can chafe once you start running!
I'll be honest, I prefer Gold Bond Friction Defense, but they don't make it the same as they used to, so I think I'm gonna give Megababe Thigh Rescue a try after my current stick runs out. It's pretty highly rated so I'm willing to take the chance. (I hate Body Glide so please don't suggest it to me. I understand a lot of people like it but I don't like how greasy it feels.)
5 - Lip Balm
Listen, we've all done a bad job breathing. In through your nose, out through your mouth, breath in through to your diaphragm, blah blah blah. Sometimes I fuck up and my lips get dry. It's enough to drive a body crazy! I have a stick of Burt's Bees that I keep specifically for runs, tucked into the pouch on my water bottle in case I need to reapply on my longer runs. You don't have to use that brand, of course, but keeping a spare lip balm on hand definitely won't hurt.
6 - Hat with a brim (or sunglasses)
I don't like running with sunglasses, personally. They're just not comfortable for me, to the point where I went out and got contacts to wear while I run because I HATED my glasses on my face and I can't see well enough to run without them. If sunglasses are also not an option for you for whatever reason, I suggest a hat with a brim! They have hats in the sports section made for sweating and so you get good air flow, but if you wash your hats regularly, basically any hat could be used while running.
I have several baseball caps and one visor to block the sun when I run. I prefer the visor when it's warmer out, so my head doesn't get too hot, but it's nice to have a full coverage baseball cap when it's a little cooler out to keep my head warm. The visor has an elastic strap like a headband, which I like better than the firmer straps of other visors, but that's personal preference!
7 - Water bottle with pouch
I own two Camelbak Quick Chills and one Nathan Quick Squeeze, all with the included pouch. I prefer the Camelbaks and wouldn't have bought the Nathan if my sibling hadn't mistakenly believed one of my Camelbak's was there, but it IS a good backup water bottle when I can't find the other two.
I bought them with the pouch specifically so I didn't have to worry about holding onto things. The pouch holds my lip balm, house key, and two dollars cash in case I find I need to find the bus for some reason. Ostensibly it could also hold my phone, but I prefer to carry it in my other hand. They're large enough I can also put a snack for longer runs in it.
8 - Sunscreen*
30SPF at least. I have something called Korean Sun Milk my sibling gave me for my face, and then spray on sunscreen for the rest of my body so I don't have to ask anyone for help on my back when I wear racerback tank tops or shirts with keyholes in the back. I grab what's on sale, usually, but I have to admit if you can afford Blue Lizard, it's the best sunscreen I've ever used.
Remember, you need to put it on fifteen minutes before going outside and reapply it every two hours if you're going to be out that long! The first thing I do is put a sports bra and shorts on so I can apply the sunscreen (outside because I'm messy lol) and then spend the next fifteen minutes finishing getting ready.
9 - IDENTIFICATION*
This isn't as important if you run in a gym or someplace else where someone can see you if you fall. However, if you're going to run outside, you should have some form of identification. God forbid something happen to you, but if it does, you should have some sort of identification card on you with your name, emergency contacts, and any medical conditions you might have. They have ID bracelets you can have made, but I just keep a slip of paper inside my water bottle pouch (another reason I specifically get water bottles with pouches). You can also carry an ID (driver's license, school ID, etc) on you instead of filling something out by hand. But if you're going to run outside, like on trails or the road, it's really important to have some sort of identification on you!
I always say that the thing which sets Sargent apart as a portrait artist is that he draws/paints literally every subject - no matter their gender, social position, life vs representational drawing etc - like he is right that minute realising he's desperately in love with them. And it rules every single time.
Went to the grocery store with my kindergartener. We weighed some bananas: 2 pounds even. We weighed a watermelon: 4 pounds even. We weighed some mangos: a little over 1 pound. We weighed the watermelon AND the bananas: 6 pounds even.
“That’s funny” said the child “because 2+4=6 and two pounds and four pounds is six pounds. It’s like the same as math!”
“What happens if you add 6+1?”
“SEVEN”
“What if we put one pound of mangos on the scale?” <mangos added>
“IT’S THE SAME!!”
“OK, what’s 7-4?”
“Three?”
“What if we take the four pound watermelon off the scale?” <watermelon removed>
“Mama! Are you telling me math works In Real Life? Think of all the things you could measure!!”
anyways tmi/nsfw warning but since it helped me and my therapist hadnt considered the idea before im willing to bet a lot of others havent either so im gonna share:
if you have vaginismus and struggle with dilating regularly i highly recommend looking into wearable toys. theyre generally vibrators that hook onto your clothes or your person in some way, and they're intended to be worn long-term and in public which means you can safely+comfortably just put it in and go about your day without having to sit down and do the whole production of dilating on its own. theyre usually curved to follow your body and soft/flexible unlike the dilators which are straight and stiff, so theyre imo easier to get in and less uncomfortable to ambiently exist with, and the long term aspect gives your body more time to adjust to having something there. and frankly the vibrator part is helpful too, a big part of vaginismus therapy is teaching your body that sensations there arent actually painful like it thinks so introducing positive stimulus helps it relax, bc functionally it kind of is a type of massage lol. but yeah again i know this is oversharing and tmi but i also know this disorder majorly sucks to have and feel like you cant make progress on so if it helps anyone else then yeehaw
actually ive decided these tags are important enough to go in the post body
image id under cut bc it wouldnt fit in alt
image ID: screenshot of tags reading "#now obviously this is limited to once you hit a point where you can fit the vibrator itself "but once you do this is a speedrunning tactic LMAO #im torn on community labelling this bc on the one hand it is for sure sexually themed but on the other hands its medical advice #advice that i wouldve killed to be able to know as a minor bc i already knew i had it at that point i might add #and something thats p common to learn early on because when you cant fit a tampon in for no reason on your first period #you go 'what why not everyone else can what am i doing wrong' #or well i guess more intense cases like mine are more likely to be discovered early‚ ik for some ppl its more 'tampons are fine but #anything bigger is intense pain' so they dont find out until they lose their virginity #or after if they just assume its supposed to be painful which is p common too #hm yeah i will not be community labelling this and am going to specifically say to any vagina'd minor reading this: if your first time #is intensely intensely painful‚ THAT IS NOT NORMAL no matter what the other person says!! and there are excercises that exist that #can make it easier!!! #and also: forcing your way through the pain will make your condition worse in the long run because it reinforces to your brain #that any interaction down there = pain so the muscles lock down even harder next time #if it hurts really bad and you can do so‚ go to your doctor and ask to be referred to a pelvic floor physical therapist for potential #vaginismus and they should be able to help #you can also research self treatment methods online bc its primarily just dilating‚ kegels‚ abdominal/thigh massages‚ stretches‚ and #bowel health (any tension in neighboring regions will ripple effect back to your pelvic floor so indigestion can make things more difficult) #(hence also the abdominal/inner thigh massages‚ those muscles being tight pulls towards your chest and knees respectively which again increases tension in the pelvic region) #a physical therapist will help you set a timeline and pace yourself as well as assign homework excercises to fit you but #the general stuff that can be found online is helpful regardless #and also remember: any progress is good progress. since my first appointment i have been very bad about doing all my excercises #the amount i should be but ive already made ridiculous progress #oh part of the physical therapy too would be yknow. doctors getting their fingers all up in your business so thats another reason you might #prefer self treatment however personally i can confirm it gets wayyy less awkward after the first one i soend my appointments rambling #about terraria now #youll feel embarassed but dont‚ remember that this is their entire job and youre probably the fifth cooch theyve touched today #so this is just a part of their life‚ its not weird for them #also specifically if anyone is near Spokane i recommend core pelvic physical therapy w julia salazar shes a complete delight". end ID
alao i don't know enough about vaginoplasty to feel comfortable saying whether the first tip would be useful for that dilating too but its something to keep in mind at least, i cant see any reason why it wouldnt work the same though
i dislike "hey rb this actually" type things so if you dont want to thats completely fine esp considering a good chunk of it is abt vibrators lol, however it would be greatly appreciated as vaginismus was never mentioned in school / health class for me and ppl really do end up assuming (or being told by assholes) that the pain is just how it works and they have to push through it to be normal, i learned abt it somewhat early on bc mine was so severe i straight up thought i simply Didnt Have A Vaginal Canal and wanted to see if that was a thing, but for a lot of people its more subtle where penetration is /possible/ just not /comfortable/ so they think "ah this must just be how it works, everyone must experience this when they have sex so i just have to deal with it", which sucks on its own but is also something often taken advantage of/encouraged by abusive partners. or those with low/no libido* often find out when they reach the age for their first pap smear and either are in way more pain than normal for it, or are just straight up unable to complete it and then have to wait until after therapy finishes to get that test, so i want to give anyone i can a head start on that realization lol. and even medical stuff aside, the mental impact of not being able to engage in sex the "normal" way despite wanting to is really rough on its own, it's even been really rough for me and i'm transmasc so to a certain degree ive found it gender affirming not being able to do it """the girl way""", but at a certain point that just became a sprinkles-on-a-turd kind of thing yknow lol
*can also include those with active libidos who just choose not to sleep with anyone, but theyre a bit more likely to find out via masturbation whereas someone without probably won't feel the need to explore what's going on there as much
also i wanted to add vis a vis the physical therapy part, the "having a doctors finger in you" part does feel weird and awkward and embarassing and yes probably will hurt a bit when youre first starting out, but they will go as slow as you need and it really is helpful, because from that they can tell you what areas to focus pressure on with the dilator, test muscle control, make sure youre doing kegels/breathing exercises right, and gauge your progress while making sure youre not pushing too fast, so if youre willing/able to push thru the awkwardness of it then it really is worth it
i know this isn't under this blog's theme at all but i feel like we do dip into general medical stuff a lot, and this is something pretty personally important to me so i wanted to share it here too
oh actually one more thing to add, if you're transmasc go through planned parenthood for your referral if you can, they should be able to find you a trans-friendly location
@excessive-vampires hey of course<3 i know it fuckin sucks to deal with so anything i can do to help others with it ill do my best
with that i saw your reblog earlier and was working through forming a response so i just wanted to say firstly im really sorry youre stuck in that situation and that your doctors treated you like that, secondly im not sure if you wanted advice on working around that so if not feel free to disregard all of this but if yes:
firstly dilators - if the issue is:
> not knowing what to get - i got the intimate rose dilator set off amazon and my physical therapist made happy noises when i showed her so they get two thumbs up, id estimate the smallest one is abt the size of a pencil
> they would open your mail and get angry - see if you have any friends nearby who would be willing to let you ship it to their house and then pick it up in person
> if they found it in your room they would get angry - try to think as far outside the box as you can on hiding spots. like say an old pair of boots buried in your closet or something, what are the chances of them checking somewhere like that yknow?
> worried theyll catch you doing it / no lock on door - i usually wait until my housemates are entirely gone or 100% certainly asleep before dilating, its not a noisy activity on its own you go really slow. and even if that means you can only do it once a month, thats ok, like i said any progress is good progress. when i first started out working on it p young i literally couldnt fit much of anything at all and would just occasionally toe the line like every few months, and even that slowly got me to the point where i think shortly after graduating highschool when i ordered the dilators i was able to do the first size after like a week
if none of those solve it and dilatings not a possibility thats def unfortunate but not the end of the road. as for the rest of the exercises none of them involve material stuff so they should be pretty easy to do discreetly if you want (except the massage thing but theyd have no reason to suspect its pelvis involved as the tools used are used for regular massages too lol, and failing that you can still do it with your hands its just not as ideal). so with that here's a rough breakdown of the exercises im supposed to do, and again this is just the general stuff so i cant tell you how many days a week you would do these. and also disclaimer that i very much am not a medical professional, just regurgitating what i remember of the instructions from my doctor. anyways!
kegels:
breathe in through nose 2 seconds, out through pursed lips 2 seconds while squeezing, release and repeat 5 times
then
take slow steady breaths drawing them down into your stomach rather than your chest, do these continuously independent of kegels. pattern is squeeze for 5 seconds, release 10 seconds, and repeat that 5 times
do one set of each of these standing, sitting, and laying down flat on your back with pillows under your knees to elevate your pelvis. originally i was supposed to do all of that eight to ten times a day but that rapidly evolved to "whenever i can remember to in whatever position i happen to be in right now" lol
the abdominal/inner thigh massages are primarily intended as a cupping exercise but you can also use a Gua Sha tool if the cups hurt (like me, they pull my stomach hair so i got one also off amazon, its the shiny metal rock shaped like a paint pallette. for the cups this one looks closest to what she had and you just squeeze it then place on your skin so it creates a seal, release the bulb to create suction, and then slide it around as described below), or she told me the thigh part can also be done with a massage gun. but essentially you just make sweeping motions around your abdominal region, if you start at the bottom on one side you sweep up around your bellybutton on that side to the top and vice versa, if you imagine your stomach in quadrants you wanna spend abt 3 mins going over each corner. then you also wanna do the cardinal directions and just sweep from the outside towards your bellybutton, also 3 mins each (i do not do these in any particular order truth be told im truly just rubbing a slimy rock around on my stomach lol). inner thighs are similar, you just sweep up towards your pelvis. and use massage oil/lotion/something otherwise itll get uncomfortable and chafey, ESPECIALLY the silicon cups my skin hurts just thinking abt that lol
for stretches she told me -
1 minute daily: priformis figure 4 stretch, deep squat stretch, half kneeling hip flexor side bending stretch, supine hamstring stretch with strap, happy baby pose, and adductor butterfly stretch
10x pushup-y things daily: prone on elbows stretch
i googled all of those real quick to make sure those keywords lead to diagrams or guides that looked mostly right so those should be a p good rough guide
the breathing exercises are just more of the stomach breathing thing, you lay down with one hand on your stomach and one on your chest and just concentrate on taking deep breaths without the chest hand moving for a couple minutes
if you had to pick just one of these though i would primarily go for the kegels, for the first month that was the only thing i remembered to do every now and then and id still made a fuckload of progress by the second appointment, theyre entirely undetectable by anyone around you so you can do them whenever and wherever you want, and as far as i know theres not really any way to do them wrong or like. overdo them? worst thatll happen is youll get too tired to keep doing them and the result will be ... you relaxing, so thats also a win lol
another tip is if you cant get dilators but still want to go that route and can fit your pinky: put it in until it starts to hurt and no further, even if thats only a single centimeter and just chill there until it relaxes, focusing on deep breaths and releasing tension in the area (also make sure youve gone to the bathroom prior so you wont get scared of relaxing too much and tense up bc that can hurt a lot w something in you if youre not prepared). itll feel like it never will but i promise eventually it will chill, even if that time is another day youll still have made progress. if you do get it relaxed though then you can try for a little deeper, again stopping as soon as it hurts and waiting for it to adjust. one thing that can help is directing sustained pressure down towards the bottom of your pelvic floor, it will hurt some but in a different way like a really intense backbreaking massage does, and as such will also steadily drive the tension out. vaginismus is lowkey your pelvic floor being one big muscle knot anyways so yknow lol. also if its not going well dont force yourself to continue forever, like give yourself a 15 minute timer as a goal but allow yourself to tap out whenever you need. and conversely if you make it to 15 mins and find youre still feeling fine you can choose to bump that up, the world is your oyster
for bowel health she recommended i get a magnesium supplement, the brand she recc'd is CALM specifically the raspberry lemon flavor, you just mix i think a teaspoon of it with however much warm water you want so if you dont like the taste you can just take it as a shot like i do, or she said adding it to tea and stuff is fine too, and you just drink that before bed every night. its not prescription or anything you can get it at costco or again amazon (all of these companies certainly have their own websites you can order direct from but i am broke as fuck so we do what we can lol)
that's all i can think of right now, make sure to use way more lube than you think you should, and i hope this helps and that your situation looks up soon💜
bringing this back again in honor of a) me finishing my physical therapy a couple months ago 🎉🎉🎉 and b) me finding out that i did not find out about mine by myself! someone sent me an ask in i think 2016 telling me about it after i made a post talking about how i was worried something was wrong! so it makes me sososo happy this post has also done that for others ;0;
Hot tip for future parents: you actually have to guide your kid to adulthood. Feeding them and waiting for them to grow up is not enough since they are not house plants. A little more thought and care is required.
for those lacking certain "adulting" skills, especially things around the house, check out:
mom, how do i...?
and dad, how do i...?
^ there are tons of other resources but these two will teach you some personal hygiene, home or apartment repairs, easy recipes and basic cleaning techniques, even how to schedule doctor's appointments
if youre a renter i cannot recommend the trans handyma'am enough, mercury is a lifesaver, and her channel and accounts are always accepting new questions
there are so many resources, a lot that you dont have to even ask for, just know how to look 🩷 much love
