BLOOD ON MY HANDS @austinmaimes - Tumblr Blog

Ava ✉ Dick Fingers

Ava: If I don't have arms than I don't have hands. And if I dont have hands than your chances of me ever giving you a handy will be down the toilet.

Ava: And lets face it, the only part of me that I'd ever allow to touch you is my hand.

Austin: But... you'd still have a mouth?

#( — text message. )#( — text sent to ava lockwood. )

Ava ✉ Dick Fingers

Ava: Hell no? And you wonder why I never text you.

Ava: She was telling me I was working my outfit. And I kind of need my arms to continue to work outfits.

Austin: Who the fuck needs arms?

Austin: They literally aren't good for shit.

#( — text message. )#( — text sent to ava lockwood. )

Ava ✉ Dick Fingers

Ava: No but it did brush up against me when she turned to go do an interview.

Ava: So basically I've been blessed tonight.

Austin: We need to chop off that part of you, and freeze it now.

#( — text message. )#( — text sent to ava lockwood. )

Ava ✉ Dick Fingers

Ava: What would you say if I told you I just got a hug from Nicki Minaj?

Austin: Did you touch her butt?

#( — text message. )#( — text sent to ava lockwood. )

hoechlin

#( — self destructive. )

shilohcollins:

“You have to have wronged me to have me wanting to chop off your dick? Interesting. Here I thought not wanting your male anatomy touching me was enough of a reason.”

“It’s called a joke. You know.. those things that you don’t take seriously? Sometimes you laugh at them, but most of the time you just don’t get actually offended or annoyed by them.”

#( — shiloh collins. )#( — interactions. )

kellermaisie:

I can honestly say that your old jokes used to be ten times better.

I contradict! My jokes have always been shit.. but I still try for some reason that I will never understand.

#( — maisie keller. )#( — interactions. )

Text || Contacts

Remi: You know I think I could've figured that out with the first two words.

Remi: Well i'm glad that I am not alone. Everyone else worships her.

Austin: I like saying it in full though.

Austin: They all worshiped T-Swine too and now everyone hates her. It'll past.

#( — text message. )#( — text sent to remi reagan. )

romanxguerra:

“Save it for the health club, pal.”

“Nah I’m good with saying it now!”

#( — roman guerra. )#( — interactions. )

owenxr:

Success rate of that line has got to be pretty low.

It’s not, actually. I met my wife using that line.

#( — interactions. )#( — owen richardson. )

officialdanfisk:

“Interesting choice. I would’ve suggested National Geographic or TIME Magazine. I don’t see how marketing human bodies is any better than spreading rumors but then again, they’ve featured great interviews too. I think I still have a copy of Miles Davis 1962 interview on it… found it at a vintage store. They’ve featured Martin Luther King, Jr. there too. It’s a pity the publication is no longer living up to the standards it used to once upon a time. ”

“You really think that people care about that stuff? Welcome to America, my friend.. where people are so uneducated and so stupid that they’d rather look at pictures of naked girls than learn read about some interview someone had about what their favorite food is or some shit. —I highly doubt people really pay attention to that part of the magazine.”

#( — daniel fisk. )#( — interactions. )

eskilmoore:

“It’s like an accessory… for a video game… for Fallout 4.”

“Yeah... no idea what Fallout is either.”

#( — eskil moore. )#( — interactions. )

bethtremonti:

“How about you just… don’t, Austin. Just don’t.”

“Ouch, someone is feisty. Come on, Beth, you can’t say you haven’t thought about it.”

#( — bethany tremonti. )#( — interactions. )

joolsdiangelo:

Finishing a sip of her drink, Jools placed her tumbler down heavily on the bar before turning to face him. “Three options here doll, one of which ends with me kneeing you in the balls, ye ken? One - you tell me that you’re actually referring to rain. Two - you tell me you’re talking about your cock. And three - you back the fuck off. Choose wisely.”

“I think I pick.... none of the above. Come on, you don’t have to get so uptight about it. I’m at a bar, I’m drinking, having a good time and joking around. So relax and why don’t you have a good time too. Trust me, it’s a lot better than the level you’re at now.”

#( — giuliana di angelo. )#( — interactions. )

scarlettbekker:

Is it supposed to rain?

#( — scarlett bekker. )#( — interactions. )#he's just like.... really?

lucas-casillas:

“The joy of being young and reckless, enjoy because soon you will be in my shoes and is not fun” He chuckled “Sure, here, I do have to tell you I like my coffee, Colombian, strong and creamless, so it’s not like Starbucks” He serve some to the guy.

“Honestly, I don’t think I’ll make it that far. Not saying you’re that much older or anything, but with my track record I probably won’t make it till next Christmas!” He teased. “That is just fine with me, I’m not much of a Starbucks type of guy.”

#( — lucas casillas. )#( — interactions. )#thanks boooooo #and isn't he the cutest?

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BLOOD ON MY HANDS