STARGAZER.

[avallcnis]

the beta keeps turning off and on, so whilst I am going to TRY and be here... tumblr might decide I have no rights and stop turning it off randomly. On the plus my Arthur blog is, somehow, my only blog not to be effected by beta so far. So I’ll be here a bit more consistently.

Until then though I’ll be here while I can!

[lilithmemes]

𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒.

these  are  some  of  my  favourite  quotes  i  found  on   pinterest   ,   that  are  either  on  boards  of  mine  or  i’ve  seen  on  friends  their  boards.   feel  free  to  change  pronouns  if  needed.

❛   i  haven’t  met  all  of  me  yet.   ❜ ❛   you  can  forgive  yourself  now.   ❜ ❛   can’t  you  just  leave  me  alone.   ❜ ❛   you’re  really  cute   &   that’s  not  even  the  best  part  about  you.   ❜ ❛   i  wanted  him / her  to  kiss  me.   ❜ ❛   so  ,  good  news  - -   i  saw  a  dog  today.   ❜ ❛   she  didn’t  deserve  death.   i  did  -  i do.   ❜ ❛   i  wish  i  could  just  protect  you  from  everything.   ❜ ❛   you  feel  like  home.   ❜ ❛   i  look  at  you   &   i  just  love  you   &   it  terrifies  me.   it  terrifies  me  what  i  would  do  for  you   ❜ ❛   i’d  probably  still  adore  you  with  your  hands  around  my  neck.   ❜ ❛   no  one  would  hurt  you  again   ,   or  i’d  kill  them.   ❜ ❛   maybe  he  deserves  a  second  chance.   ❜ ❛   people  say  that  i  am  heartless.   ❜ ❛   i  would  destroy  myself  to  fix  you.   ❜ ❛   do  i  disgust  you  ?   ❜ ❛   i  am  not  a  stranger  to  the  dark.   ❜ ❛   i  would  destroy  myself  to  fix  you.   ❜ ❛   what  a  plot  twist  you  were.   ❜ ❛   i  really  just  want  to  lay  with  you   &   hold  you  so  tight   &   make  sure  nothing  bad  happens  to  you  ever  again.   ❜ ❛   you  don’t  know  what  you  got  till  it’s  gone.   ❜ ❛   i’ll  stop  wearing  black   ,   when  they  make  a  darker  colour.   ❜ ❛   i’m  depressed.   i  need  a  cookie.   ❜ ❛   am  i  supposed  to  feel  something  ?.   ❜ ❛   i  wanna  get  in  the  bed   ,   go  to  sleep   &   pretend  this  day  never  happened.   ❜ ❛   i  think  he / she’s  very  lonely.   lonelier  than  he / she  lets  on.   maybe  lonelier  than  he / she  even  realizes.   ❜ ❛   you  are  not  your  father.   ❜ ❛   he / she  is  not  a  villain.  he / she  is  just  a  boy / girl.   ❜ ❛   i  think  i’m  going  to  kiss  you.   ❜ ❛   don’t  give  up  on  me.   ❜ ❛   you  are  enough.   a  thousand  times  enough.   ❜ ❛   do  it  because  they  said  you  couldn’t.   ❜ ❛   you.   it’s  always  you.   ❜ ❛   i  thought  you  were  dead.   ❜

[avallcnis]

The offer to see my sword still stands. ;^)

“I believe I’ve already agreed to take you up on such an offer, no? That it isn’t in the manner you mean is hardly my fault– I’m not the fighting sort of course.”

[avallcnis]

Also, I totally understand if people who’ve previously chosen to interact with me now choose not to with this in mind. I appreciate shipping is important to a lot of people, however with Merlin it’s a complex thing that I feel I’ve misrepresented this fact :^(

[avallcnis]

So... yeah... I read Arthuriana and remembered I’m weak as fuck for this nasty man.

This is effectively a soft reboot. I’m happy to say all my previous threads/interactions with people happened, with the condition I am not shipping. Most of the reason I dropped Merlin for a few months is because I ended up uncomfortable due to shipping and expectations placed on me that I was unable to fulfill due to the nature of how Merlin is.

I am not changing how I interacted with people in the past because all of that was entirely IC as Merlin is a hugely flirtative person, however I will not be pursuing romantic ships currently as I feel there’s been a fundamental misunderstanding on Merlin’s nature and I also feel like I contributed to this personally.

With this in mind I will be active on this blog again, along with being on my Proto Arthur blog! If people wish to discuss any of the above with me on a personal level my dms are, and always will be, open to my mutuals.

So hewwo once more o/

[avallcnis]

ludullu‌:

       Satisfaction resonates in Gilgamesh’s hum, rightfully won by placating request in addition to a command that would have left ruler less than pleased. Such is the delicate balance Merlin knows how to tread, carefully weaving audacious approach with respectful tenderness in a dance very few could ever hope to master with Gilgamesh. Yet Merlin does, and for it he’s rewarded with another languid steal of lips, of mouth eagerly parted and tongue dancing in wild twirl of heated sentiment. A part of him believes himself to be enchanted, enraptured in all Merlin simply is by nature; he whose presence is an intoxicating thing, leaving him unable to quell the gentle, steady tremble of his heart. How terrifying.

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To be imparted with such sound as that, one he swallowed greedily-- hungrily-- as tongue moved to slick dance of other’s design was, truly, a blessing. Gilgamesh was a man who felt much and felt it wildly, feral intensity unmatched as Merlin coaxes something sweet and familiar from him with hitching groan of own (what that ‘something’ might be he does not think on, does not dwell on lest implications catch something of his charade and unravel it at his feet). To he who is a beast of stolen emotions it was only natural to be drawn to man like this, to seek from him all he might give and return all that Gilgamesh might wish to take.

Except there is a warm curl of something foreign, something undesired, unwelcome, and buried sharply lest he find compromise in it.

It is a battle long fought at such pretty words.

“Do we?” He mused, roughened voice hitching at assault to ear. On another day, in another lifetime, and with another person he would have shirked as much before teeth had chance to ensnare. Here he does not. Here he instead considers quietly at husky rumble imparted, body set to a quiver for he knows they do not have all the time in the world for all Merlin may well be eternal. Gilgamesh, by comparison is ephemeral, haunting yet tragically fleeting beauty and danger all in one. They do not, but something within dearly wished they did. “Of course.” He agrees at last, violet seeking crimson.

Legs wrap about other’s waist once he is drawn close, bracing elbow behind self to lean up and shepherd other back if only slightly. If Gilgamesh finds it in himself to draw him closer then of course, of course Merlin shall not deny that, shall only ever draw nearer yet until inseparable unity is found. New position offers little more than gentle challenge as Merlin chases him for kiss, soft stubbornness as he shifts against in once more search of friction. “A treasure?” He sighs, catch of teeth to lower lip, soothing with tongue thereafter. “What high praise from you, dear King who owns all that is to be treasured.” Past. Future. Present. Nought has ever been denied to Gilgamesh and Merlin is not about to begin such, not even as he presses closer with bump of nose in efforts to goad him into rearing back if only slightly.

Entirely why there is no reason for. None bar drawing reaction in kind at other, at stirring something from him at audacity presented. “By all means. Indulge as you please.”

[avallcnis]

ludullu‌:

       What a familiar stumble, a familiar sight: the splay of opalescent hair, paler now except in the prismatic catch of firelight. The molten movement of violet as it rakes his form, vermilion wandering in languorous perusal in return. The catch of breath in his throat at chime of laughter, like musical peals of a most brilliant instrument. One he takes pleasure in hearing intimately, dipping his form down to leave Merlin bereft of space save for his hand as it maps the gentle ripples of Gilgamesh’s abdomen.

       True to Merlin’s quest, he earns a rumble of appreciation deep in the throat of supernal monarch. Sage King finds chases lips once more, nestling himself between Merlin’s legs. ❝ Have I ever? ❞ Teasing in turn, or perhaps it is more akin to a display of natural arrogance he possesses; a haughtiness displayed in every confident movement, even, as hips roll against other in accentuation.

       Fingers tug knots of shawl loose in practiced precision, nose coaxing Merlin’s head back against the bed’s embrace so that Gilgamesh might mouth against his throat once more, pinching skin between his teeth in telltale mark before gently sucking the skin about his proffered wound. And still, fingers could never work quickly enough — he will hardly ever understand it, how the magus could adventure about in such clothing.

       It draws him away enough to huff again, nostrils flaring in a discontent voiced often enough between their nightly escapades. ❝ You wear far too many layers. ❞

When he welcomes other unto self it is gladly, other finding home against him with barest of motions earning a breathy sigh. His body sings for the other, craves him as surely one might a drug, and he finds no shame in such. He, a creature of lust, of depravity, or reckless and desperate want which is wholly directed toward Gilgamesh for better or worse. That it is welcomed and reciprocated, well, all the better at the end of the day.

“No,” he chimes, appreciation for sound he earns himself from other man before he is pressed back into easy submission. There was something to be said for one who knew their desires and had no shame in claiming them, mark branded upon his neck deftly and as surely as they always were. That Merlin could simply heal the hurt was a matter never dealt, instead allowing mouth to work against him as he shifted himself at the pleasure which sought to mount. Which wished, desperately, for Gilgamesh and all it was he had to offer.

No, this man had never disappointed. By his very nature he could not, for divinity would always hold such illustrious appeal to the demonic. His mere existence was satisfaction enough, alluring and heady as he laughed once more with cant of hips in search of something. Anything.

“So remove them.” Fingers reach, curling into hem of Gilgamesh’s pants and drawing him closer, bringing bodies surely in alignment. Just as other was demanding so too was Merlin, reaching thereafter with tenderest caress of cheek. “Please.” Is reedy request, unashamed in the want which edged melodic tones.

[avallcnis]

ludullu‌:

       My dearest of Kings.

       For one whose life has been in servitude of kings (in so far as Gilgamesh can glean from Merlin’s future), such endearments are a weighty thing – and one Gilgamesh bears as mantle of pride and freely given affection alike, irregardless of what truths it encompasses. Truths… truths that make inhuman heart featherlight in his chest, for all that he deigns to ignore the blossom of such a sentiment for this creature before him. This creature that would sooner claim him in return, fingers questing through golden locks, gently against barren chest. Gilgamesh is a beast who snarls at touch, yet for Merlin, he leans into it; into the steady cant they chase so easily, so naturally between them.

       His response is a low growl, lips taking this vantage to nip at jaw, at the smooth expanse of neck’s column; he tongues the spot where skin lurches in pulse, feeling the rhythm against his mouth, open and famished for the opportunity to sink his teeth in. Instead a metallic claw finds the catch of fabric, tugging hips closer to his own, and lips linger only a moment more before crimson searches violet for the same unearthly hunger.

       ❝ I intend to. ❞ The absence of his hand upon Merlin’s neck means only its presence elsewhere; to join the other at hips, to guide backward to soft surface of silken bed in an eagerness for his quarry. ❝ But to offer a needy creature such as myself anything I desire is the most dangerous game you might ever play, Merlin. Are you certain? ❞

No opportunity was ever missed by other as growl draws shudder, a reverberation of body before lips and tongue seek to make claim to him. It is a quest he consents to, incline of head offering starved man all the room he might need to have his fill, to find his fulfillment as he draws Merlin closer, closer-- not close enough he thinks, shepherded back with sure steps until back of legs hit bed. Until he allows himself to topple, dragging King with him.

He might only offer breathy laugh to those words as he shifted upon fine silks, hand traversing once more to bared chest presented above him. The entire affair was perhaps a quandary for Gilgamesh in every way was the hunter in situation, beast driving his prey into desired position until opportune strike was found. And yet, just as surely, so too was Merlin. Gilgamesh was perhaps the truest prize he had ever had the pleasure of.

“Is that a promise? I’ll trust you not to disappoint me~” Thus far he had not, and nor did Merlin think he would ever, but to tease was his nature. One fulfilled surely between words and hands set to wandering, clever fingers searching familiar body for tender places which might coax sonorous response. 

[avallcnis]

ludullu‌:

       How the imputation would draw ire if Merlin were any lesser individual; alas, he receives only a huff of breath against the soft onslaught of lips. Gilgamesh seeks purchase in gently demanding sweeps of movement, the brush of tongue in a yearning for more. From Sage King is coaxed the curl of opaline tresses between fingers and golden claw alike, hand moving to trail the caress of thumb against line of jaw, along pointed ear, finally burying into the soft locks at the nape of the cambion’s neck.

       —And he sighs openly, lips parting against Merlin’s, offering succinct entry of his own; what a dance it is, however, for he of capricious divinity! To tease such a rarity like the desire to be taken, only to part from the magus whilst gifting the languid drag of teeth against lower lip and the lingering curve of his smirk.

       ❝ For you. ❞ Husky simplicity. Gnawing hunger. Infernos in serpentine crimson. Heartbeats in an iron cage. It all spells the danger Gilgamesh is so achingly attracted to, that which is made manifest in the devastatingly beautiful demon before him.

It is an intoxicating thing to find ones self under such ferocious attentions of a man such as he, one who is divine, who is steadfast, who is unyielding right until he does. Until Merlin is offered right to take in kind, to chase taste of him with daring tongue, permission heeded and used as wholly as one might have expected of one with his nature. This is a dance he knows for Gilgamesh has granted privilege of learning his particular crescendo, has shown him the tempest to which he moved.

That Merlin now moved with him? He would say it was only right for one serving their King, even one so terribly cruel as to part from him so soon. Too soon.

“Oh,” he chimes, delicate and soft in a way which belies all that he truly is. He is neither of those things, yet as he presses close and ghosts fingers against thrumming heart it might be easy to mistake. “Then if I am what you need, my dearest of Kings, perhaps you should take what is yours.” As he leans up once more hand curls to nape of other’s neck, bringing him just close enough for soft puff of breath to caress ear. “Whatever it is you desire, of course.”

[avallcnis]

ludullu‌:

       @avallcnis, where are my kisses.

“You needy creature.” He says this of course, but it hardly stops him brushing close to capture lips with own. Why, he thinks, should he ever deny such a request? There was no reason at all.

[avallcnis]

tenjima‌:

     The Avenger hummed to themselves as they concentrated on replenishing their mana. It wasn’t a process that could be accelerated but that didn’t stop Nobunaga from deciding that meditating would be the best solution at the moment. But it appeared that the chimeras wouldn’t be an issue for the moment, which gave them time. Now, if the flowery mage could shut up… “And I’m certain that you could put that tongue of yours to better use. For example, you could cut it off and choke on your blood so that we can concentrate. That would be a good manner in which you can prove yourself useful since you’re not the killing sort.”

     The temperature near the Demon King increased and small fires would erupt here and there, gone as quickly as they appeared. After a minute, it had calmed down and the Demon King was opening their eyes once again. “Um, wait. It’s strange. That’s not the sort of answer one would expect from a creature of demonic origins.”

“Is that what you’re into, my dear? Choking? My, I suppose I would have expected nothing less from the likes of you!” It is enough to earn open laugh, attention lost upon the struggling beasts ensnared as they were. What a moody creature this Demon King was-- though, really, most who called themselves ‘King’ could be prone to bouts of ire. It was an unfortunate condition, one entirely unbefitting of those in such a position. He supposed their flaws were not his issue, not even as temperature pitched higher.

Like a child having a tantrum, he thought. “My origins are not merely demonic, though that is a charming way of putting it. I am an Incubus, through and through.” He was, quite resoundingly, a demon in the truest sense. One tainted with humanity. “You’re quite a poor ‘Demon King’ if my answer is truly that much of a surprise.”

[avallcnis]

Sees Merlin getting kicked in the face by a Fou that came out of nowhere in the middle of a battle. "Quite the loyal familiar you have, huh?"

Well! That! Was rude! “Ah, yes.” Something of of a sheepish laugh, reaching to scratch at back of head. “Alas we cannot all choose our other halves, so here we are~ He’s a rude little cretin.”

[avallcnis]

ardenssolis‌:

     HE…HE HAD NO idea and yet he told him to ‘earn the privilege’ of touching him? Frustration became more prominent upon his features then, annoyance probably easily tasted in the very air itself. ❝You make it seem as if I have to woo you just to be able to do something as simple as brushing my fingers through silken locks.❞ And he was aware that it was probably nigh impossible to woo Merlin in the first place. So, would that not mean he would basically be wasting his time? He loved challenge, but only when the reward outweighed the effort. This all seemed so time consuming with very little to gain.

Whether he tastes it or not is neither here nor there, not when he chooses to ignore it. He was prodding something far more deadly than a lion and he knows, understands the very real danger that poking at someone like Ozymandias might bring. “Perhaps I simply wish to be wooed~”  Though he can at least understand this sentiment. “Hm, I assume you’re thinking ‘that man cannot be wooed’, which is entirely correct. You’re thinking too much of it. Simply give me something of equal value to the right you want.” That was a goal far easier to achieve.

[avallcnis]

ardenssolis‌:

     'EARN THE PRIVILEGE.’ THE sheer gall of this Cambion to utter this to him of all people! And just as Sun King had said before, that smile was tossed in his direction – unreadable even to him as to what it meant. Not that it mattered. Either way, he would have scoffed the moment he saw it in all its false innocence. ❝Earn it…❞ he repeated, eyes narrowing slightly in thought. When it came to wants, he naturally did not have to exert any form of effort. Everything he ever took an interest in fell into his lap with ease, though that in itself could be so dreadfully dull after a time, even if it was expected. Pulling away, he released the other, allowing hand to return to their person once he saw his flirtation did not hit its mark as he had hoped it would. ❝Pray tell, what should I do to gain this, then?❞

He certainly took that better than anticipating, even as contact was withdrawn. It was hardly a thing that left him bereft, but genuine amusement did dance upon him at the reaction. How fascinating that he was humored at all though, even for all the ebb of frustration he finds there. “Oh, I’ve no idea really!” He’d not gotten that far, and indeed now he was here he supposed he should come up with something. “Surprise me~ You seem to be full of them.” For better or worse, complicated man harboring terribly complicated actions.

[avallcnis]

marsarrim‌:

“it’s nothing bad, I think. simply the curiosity of a king who had to realize the world is much bigger than what he believed when he was alive” such a terribly naive time he had lived in. to think how many places there are in the world… and he had once considered himself well traveled.

“you spent time in uruk, right? heard our legends, our songs and stories. I was just curious if you’d share some of your own - from what I can see britain has a rich history and folklore. it does not even need to be a historical tale… but when I hear of foggy meadows and forests, of hills that have so many variants of ‘green’ …I just want to hear more of it. and your voice is terribly soothing …that asking you seemed the right choice.”

Stories of his country? Or his time? One of those things the King would get, but one? One, alas, would have to be found in books which were often far removed from accuracy. That or he supposed the elder could simply find another who had lived it, which wouldn’t much surprise Merlin. Not with how terribly curious this man was.

“If you’d like, though we will be here for a very long time.” Smile of easy warmth, reaching to brush blonde from other’s face. “Is there nothing else you’d rather have?”

[avallcnis]

ardenssolis‌:

     ❝IS THAT SO?❞ HE tilted his head to the side. The concept of ‘asking’ for something escaped him usually, for why should he ask when he could just take whatever he desired without so much as a fuss? Although this was not to say that he always did such things without thought for another’s feelings. He did have some semblance of manners when it counted (sometimes). It just depended on what that was. ❝Very well then. If that is what you wish.❞ With nothing else said, he uncrossed his arms, reaching out to take Merlin’s hand in his and lifting it to his lips. Soft skin brushed against top of palm, feather light and teasing to match the mischief in his gaze as his gold purposely met exquisite lavender. ❝May I be allowed to touch your hair, Magus of Flowers? Will you permit me to act upon this desire freely?❞

Now that was a surprise, or at the very least almost. Almost, if only because they other could be horribly mischievous when the mood struck, and the mood did indeed seem to strike often. So, not surprised entirely then as hand was taken, as barest brush of lips was offered. How used to the concession of others was this man? No doubt it was born and bred into him. “Earn the privilege.” Comes smoothly, silken as he finds liquid gold with flicker of smile. He should have denied, if only to be awkward. Some things though were not worth that level of fuss, and some things were entirely worth the chase. Whether Ozymandias felt this matter was worth the effort, well, that was up to him.

[avallcnis]

ardenssolis‌:

     ❝SO BLUNT!❞ HE HUFFED, arms crossing over his chest like a disgruntled child at the other’s rather dismissive statement. ❝You could have least embellished your response a little!❞ The thing about having conversations with Merlin was that he was sharper than most, picking up on the smallest of things and poking at it. This topic was one that he would not relinquish so casually no matter if there had been intent behind why Ozymandias asked this or not. ❝I will not. I like the way your hair feels between my fingers. Besides, if you had wanted me to stop, you would have brushed my hand away by now, offering me that infuriating smile as you denied me so softly. You are one of the only few who show such impudence in my presence without so much as the slightest hint of shame.❞

“Why should I feel shame?” Ozymandias spoke truth here then, for had Merlin wished him not to he would not have allowed it, would have made position clear and brooked no argument on such a matter. Discomfort at something did not inherently mean a flat denial, or at least here it did not. “You are a Pharaoh certainly, but that does not give you the right to do and take everything you so desire. Not freely, and not without asking.” Though he supposed other likely thought it did, arrogant cretin that he was.