Loved the title "happy ending prayer circle" HAHAHAHAHAH Yes we are holding hands! Everything is fine!!! It's gonna be okay
No because my biggest fear is that they won’t get a happy ending. I want them to be together in the end sooo bad. Like what sacrifices must I make for them to be okay, I’ll do it!!
It doesn’t help that they keep scaring me with all these emotional situations and the dnd format means that literally anything could happen.
That said, as a storyline the angst is very juicy and I appreciate how well it is brought to life.
Do you ever think about how Imogen said that Laudna saved her and how she didn’t know how much longer she would’ve lasted if Laudna hadn’t come? How Imogen could have embraced Predathos because they discussed using the powers offered to them but decided not to, asking Laudna to keep her tethered? How destroyed she was when Laudna died or when they were separated and how she didn’t truly rest until she got back to her?
How does it make Imogen feel when Laudna insists that she’s a dead end, that Imogen has her whole life ahead of her and she’s supposed to just carry on when Laudna’s gone? Does she think that Laudna saved her but now when she’s in danger of getting possessed forever, Imogen’s love isn’t enough to make Laudna want to fight for her future?
I just think it might be pretty shitty and invalidating when you love someone, consider them to be one of the most important people in your life and then that person keeps telling you that you’re wrong for thinking so highly of them. That you should be prepared to lose them.
Obviously Laudna wouldn’t say that and she desperately wants validation that Imogen loves her too but she’s insinuated at least twice now that their relationship has a time limit.
She's spent 30 years with Delilah who has told her repeatedly that Laudna is hers and they're connected. The first time she ever had the chance to get rid of Delilah it required a very powerful cleric and tons of money, all of which led to a fight against Delilah for her freedom.
When she woke up there was an arrow pointed at her and an army waiting to take her down if Delilah was still there. Which she was, just weakened. Even after all that. And now she's struggling to resist Delilah's desire for power.
(It does make me think though if Delilah was always going to come back or if she would have stayed weak inside of Laudna forever if Laudna hadn't consumed Bor'Dor)
Until there is concrete proof that they can get rid of Delilah without hurting Laudna, I don't think she can let herself dream of a life she might not get to have. Laudna isn't looking to get herself killed, she just has a hard time believing she can have a life beyond Delilah and they need all the help they can get for Ludinus.
A little rough excerpt from an unfinished fic of mine
-
Imogen woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside. She lifted her head and peeked her eyes open just enough to see the sun streaking through their shitty curtains and bathing the room in bright natural light. Imogen dropped her head and let out a huff. She buried her face into black, silky hair, which made Laudna let out a tired whine.
“Sorry. Did I wake you up?” Imogen asked quietly.
“We should probably get up anyway,” Laudna replied, her voice still hoarse from sleeping. She made no move to remove herself from Imogen’s embrace though.
Imogen giggled and wrapped her arms tighter around Laudna, pulling her nearly on top of herself into a hug,
“We’re in no hurry. What’s stopping us from sleeping in?”
Laudna made a disgruntled sound but melted into Imogen’s hold.
“You know how much I hate wasting the day away.”
“Just one day won’t hurt.” Imogen argued.
Laudna finally opened her eyes, lifting her head to meet Imogen’s happy gaze. Her lilac eyes sparkled in the sunlight and Laudna felt any frustration instantly wipe away with on look from her girl.
“You said the same thing last weekend, darling.” Laudna gave her an amused look.
“And?” Imogen shot back, grinning widely now.
Laudna sighed heavily before shifting around to get more comfortable in Imogen’s arms. Her hand wandered onto the bare skin of Imogen’s taut stomach, exposed from Imogen’s sleep shirt riding up during the night. Laudna mindlessly ran her hand up and down, not missing Imogen’s content sigh at the action. She blindly reached back to pull their blanket over them to combat the chilly morning air.
“How can I ever deny you anything?” Laudna lamented, even if she was not the least bit bothered.
“Are you complaining about getting extra time to cuddle?” Imogen gasped comically.
She started to ever so gently run her fingers through Laudna’s hair. She would never get over how easily her fingers glided through her hair, any tangles easily unraveled with a little patience.
“I never said that.” Laudna quickly replied.
Imogen closed her eyes, taking in the feeling of Laudna’s meager yet comforting weight pressed against her. Laudna’s skin was still slightly colder than Imogen’s but after a whole night of sleeping in each other’s arms, her body heat just about matched Imogen’s. It would go back to her normal chill by the time they got up and sat down for breakfast so Imogen basked in the feeling while she could. She could hear the birds quieting down and the first murmurs of people gathering on the streets to get on with their day.
-
The girls are so angsty it is so much easier to write hurt/comfort about them but I will always choose good old fluff over angst.
I need to write them being domestic together for my own sanity.
Do you ever think about how Imogen said that Laudna saved her and how she didn’t know how much longer she would’ve lasted if Laudna hadn’t come? How Imogen could have embraced Predathos because they discussed using the powers offered to them but decided not to, asking Laudna to keep her tethered? How destroyed she was when Laudna died or when they were separated and how she didn’t truly rest until she got back to her?
How does it make Imogen feel when Laudna insists that she’s a dead end, that Imogen has her whole life ahead of her and she’s supposed to just carry on when Laudna’s gone? Does she think that Laudna saved her but now when she’s in danger of getting possessed forever, Imogen’s love isn’t enough to make Laudna want to fight for her future?
I just think it might be pretty shitty and invalidating when you love someone, consider them to be one of the most important people in your life and then that person keeps telling you that you’re wrong for thinking so highly of them. That you should be prepared to lose them.
Obviously Laudna wouldn’t say that and she desperately wants validation that Imogen loves her too but she’s insinuated at least twice now that their relationship has a time limit.
I feel like Imogen is trying so hard to avoid ever telling Laudna what to do that it’s actually hurting their relationship more than helping.
She wants to give Laudna total agency without influencing her decisions because Delilah has already been manipulating her for decades and Imogen doesn’t want to accidentally do the same.
Like Imogen CLEARLY hates Laudna freely giving Delilah more power but instead of actively discouraging Laudna’s incredibly harmful behavior she has told her every time that it’s okay if she “uses” Delilah.
I think Laudna is far past getting to make choices though. If she doesn’t want to do something then Delilah will make her or manipulate her until she gets her way. Laudna is in way too deep, which means she keeps falling into Delilah’s traps.
“Maybe Delilah can tell me something useful about the powerful rock” / “The sword is cursed, you can be the one to protect Orym”
Laudna isolates herself from everyone to avoid giving Delilah the shard? Delilah spends the night pretending to care for Laudna and telling her she’ll be there for her. (Or something like that it’s been a while since that ep happened)
Laudna finally has people around that genuinely care for her and Delilah has been subtly finding ways to taint those relationships and make them doubt her. If that bitch doesn’t get too powerful and take over first, I think her general plan is something like breaking Laudna mentally by slowly creating a you vs them situation (“They could never understand.”)
On the other hand I think maybe Imogen is so agreeable with Laudna’s thing because she’s worried that if she’s not on her side then Laudna will think she’s completely against her and pull further away.
Imogen is waiting for Laudna to choose to live on her own but I really think she (and the others) should be actively reassuring her that’s she’s still wanted without Delilah, even if she’s “weak”, even if she’s “not useful”. Imogen tell her that you want that damn cottage and are willing to fight for it not that you’ll miss it!
But again, Imogen might not want to put that pressure on Laudna that if she can’t resist than she’s failing all of them. This is her way of telling Laudna that she’ll stay no matter what. She’s her teather, her anchor.
Imodna angst and Laudna Delilahfication so good that it genuinely made me think about stopping watching c3 until it’s finished so I could feed myself on spoilers to avoid potential emotional damage.
I can’t bring myself to watch e95 yet because I’m too sad about Laudna. Bbygrl deserves so much better.
I have always been a lurker but Critical Role has me going so insane I want to put my thoughts somewhere. So this account is for me to scream into the void about CR
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