mentally ill, semiactive february 2026

greyson • adult • he/him

[b0n3s-b1tch]

disclaimer!!

this blog is mainly for venting about my mental illness. this was an ED account, but as that is not my main issue anymore i dont have much to say about it. im bad at trigger tagging, send me an ask or dm if you want something tagged and i will do my best.

this account isn't 18+, but i am and i may occasionally post about my partner (and our reltionship) and i do post frequently about CSA/SA trauma in my past. be super aware of this, user discretion advised.

block dont report. nothing here is meant to encourage harm towards yourself or anyone else, i need a place to vent uncensored. also, use you block button liberally online!! i do, and i will block you if i dont like you or your vibe. no hard feelings! i just want to curate my internet space, esp when my posts on here are quite vulnerable.

about me!

greyson

19 years old

in full time college

he/him (ftm nonbinary)

queer adult

in an polyam/open relationship

hobbies include video games, writing, smoking weed. favorite show is house md and favorite artist is sofia isella (fav song below!)

diagnoses applicable on this vent blog include:

C-PTSD, HC-DID, OCD, and anorexia nervosa*

Autistic and adhd (medium support needs autism, big feelings about aspie supremacy and higher support needs erasure)

pwNPD/BPD (i love you cluster b ppl <3)

physically disabled and chronically ill

recovering addict: 3 years off pills, cali sober 95% of the time

*this used to be a blog for this. i cycled through recovering and relapsing for a long time, and finally recovered after medically transitioning :) trans kids w EDs- HRT is fucking magical and you deserve the life you want to live. do what you need to to get it. there is always still time.

[b0n3s-b1tch]

i think im gonna try antidepressants again at least for a few months because ive been so fucking down recently and i just dont have it in me to power through without smth different

i forget when im in a depressive episode how little i think about suicide when i am not. like its not never but god it was every other thought in my mind two weeks ago and today ive only thought of it twice and i pushed it away without fixating or "putting it in a mental box" (ocd compulsion lol)

[b0n3s-b1tch]

omg i keep forgetting to do the intake paperwork for IOP how am i supposed to focus on it when its stupid therapy shit and i could instead. play minecraft

[b0n3s-b1tch]

are people serious about wanting to make cheating on your unmarried partner a crime thats so crazy to me

i saw someone say that "cheaters should go to jail because when i get cheated on i am smashing things, driving recklessly, yelling at people, and i dont think i should be responsible for that because they did that to me" and like. babe thats crazy you are still responsible for your actions lmao and even making it illegal wouldnt absolve you from that

also how many times has a boyfriend cheated on you in order to have basically a routine for it perhaps you need to pick people who are more loyal and trustworthy?? what is this

[b0n3s-b1tch]

ugh i forgot my afternoon meds thats annoying im gonna feel tachycardic at like midnight if i take them now but i need to do a bunch of stuff

[angelbumbum]

does anyone know how to stop that part of your brain that needs you to do everything perfectly all the time or it makes you feel the great shame

[anatheyma]

#dailyaffirmations

[vita-min-bunniii]

women dont need to have perfectly smooth armpits because they are women and not infants and this is Fact

[emolgana]

incredible stuff happening out there

[lanaflowerz]

[b0n3s-b1tch]

ugh i feel like such a fucking edgelord sometimes why is my brain so embarrassing i've been saying the corniest depressing shit recently and i swear its not on purpose and i am not trying to be poetic or anything its just my thoughts as they come up and theyre all really embarrassing and i feel like the goths in southpark and like i am begging for attention

even this feels humiliating and i have this blog to post the stupid and embarrassing shit and do that sort of stuff because its so private and non-obtrusive or existent in my real life when i close the app

[weaselknievel]

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

[hotvampireadjacent]

[prophetic-writer]

I'm sorry but I have one draft that I never finished but I laugh every time I see it

[hellsquills]

Writing Tip

Neither do i

[eviliens]

Unreliable everyone

[orcboxer]

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

[arroscnleche]

soy yooo tu ángel de la guarda holiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. 🥺 y si no te protejo, me van a: #¡despedir! 🫢 y eso No esta Chido 🙅‍♀️jajaaa Entonces. 🙏investigue acerca del tema y resulta que: ¡puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! 😯 ¡Uh oh! 😆 Hay más que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demás, ¡pero no puedes teneral! 🤨 ¿Queeeé? 🤷‍♀️ Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas "accionistas." Y bueno. 🙏 empeze a matar personas,

[tracing-rivers]

c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou 😇 bon 🙏 alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. 🥺 et si je te protège pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! 🫢 et ça c'est pas Pas Super 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Donc. 🙏 j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% évitable ! 😯 Oh-oh ! 😆 Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interférer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accès ! 🤨 Quoooi ? 🤷‍♀️ Apparemment ta mort a été préméditée par des milliers de trucs appelées des "actionnaires". Du coup.🙏 j'ai tué pas mal de monde,

[clockworkspider]

hiiiiii 😇 我是亲的守护小天使！okay🙏 嗯。您在差不多半年会饿死哈🥺 若我不能救您我会被#炒鱿鱼！🫢 那可不行哦🙅‍♀️ 哈哈。所以昵🙏我查了一下人类饿死的原因，然后发现：诶呀呀😯亲的死是可以避免哒！😆 这世上有足够食物给亲吃，一点儿也不需要影响别人的生存率哒！但不给亲！🤨 怎么会这样昵？ 🤷‍♀️ 原来，亲的死是被一帮叫“股东”的东西计算好滴！ 所以昵🙏 我杀了一些人，

[berdymane]

Sou euuu eu sou seu anjo da guarda oiiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 então. em uns seis meses, você vai morrer de fome. 🥺 E se eu não te proteger , eu vou ser: #demitido! 🫢 e isso Não É Bom 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Então. 🙏 Eu dei uma pesquisada sobre as causas de morrer de fome, e descobri que: Sua morte é completamente previnível! 😯 Oh oh! 😆 Tem mais comida do que o suficiente pra te sustentar sem interferir com a sobrevivência de mais ninguém, mas você não pode acessar essa comida! 🤨 Queeee? 🤷‍♀️ Aparentemente, sua morte é premeditada por milhares de coisas chamadas "acionistas." Então. 🙏 Eu estive matando algumas pessoas,

[misterybusiness]

ik ben het, je beschermengel, hoiiiii 😇 oké 🙏 dus. over ongeveer 6 maanden ga je dood doordat je verhongert. 🥺 en als ik je niet bescherm, word ik: #ontslagen! 🫢 en dat is Niet Goed 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Dus. 🙏 ik heb er even gekeken naar oorzaken van verhongering en wat blijkt: Je dood is gewoon te voorkomen! 😯 Oh oh! 😆 Er is meer dan genoeg voedsel om je in leven te houden zonder het overleven van anderen te verhinderen, maar jij mag het niet hebben! 🤨 Waaat? 🤷‍♀️ Blijkbaar is jouw dood al van tevoren bepaald door duizenden dingen genoemd "aandeelhouders." Dus. 🙏 Ik ben bezig geweest met mensen vermoorden,

[feralphoenix]

やっほ！きみの守護天使だよぉ～ 😇 OK 🙏 実はきみ、六か月後に飢餓で死んじゃうんだって 🥺 きみを守れなかったら私、到頭#首だよ！ 🫢 首とかダメでしょ 🙅‍♀️ (苦笑)それでね 🙏 飢餓の原因を調べてみるとね、きみの死因は全然回避できちゃうよ！ 😯 やば～い！ 😆 誰の分を奪わずにきみがお腹いっぱい食べていけるだけのごはんが普通にあるのに、きみが手に入っちゃいけないんだとか！ 🤨 あれえぇ？！ 🤷‍♀️ 実はきみの死亡が、「株主」っていうやつによる計画的犯行らしいんだあ。というわけで！ 🙏 私、人を殺しまくり始めたんだけど～、

[u3pxx]

ito akooo ako ang anghel na tagatanod mo mustaaaaaa 😇 sige 🙏 ngayon. sa paglipas ng anim na buwan, mamatay ka dahil sa matinding pagkagutom. 🥺 at kung hindi kita maprotektahan, ako'y #masisisante! 🫢 at hindi yun Maganda 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Kaya. 🙏 Siniyasat ko ang mga sanhi ng pagkagutom, at ang totoo pala ay: Kayang maiwasan ang iyong pagkamatay! 😯 Naku! 😆 Mayroong higit sa sapat na pagkain upang mabuhay ka nang hindi nakakasagabal sa kaligtasan ng iba, ngunit hindi ka pinapayagang magkaroon nito! 🤨 Ano raaaw? 🤷‍♀️ Mukhang ang kamatayan mo'y dulot ng libu-libong mga bagay na tinatawag na "mga shareholders." Kaya. 🙏 May ilang tao na akong pinatay,

[cheezeynoodles]

ini akuuu aku malaikat pelindungmu haiiiiii 😇 oke🙏 jadi. sekitar enam bulan lagi, kamu bakal mati kelaparan. 🥺 dan kalau aku gak ngelindungin kamu, aku bakal: #dipecat! 🫢 dan itu Nggak Bagus 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Jadi. 🙏 Aku neliti penyebab-penyebab kelaparan, dan ternyata: Kematianmu bisa banget dicegah! 😯 Waduh! 😆 Ada lebih dari cukup makanan buat nopang kamu tanpa ngeganggu kelangsungan hidup orang lain, tapi kamu gak boleh memilikinya! 🤨 Apaaa? 🤷‍♀️ Ternyata, kematianmu direncanakan oleh ribuan yang disebut “pemegang saham.” Jadi. 🙏 aku udah bunuh orang,

[irondive]

[reeeneeereee]

(person who suspects they have ocd voice): what if every time i think something is an ocd symptom im actually faking it and stereotyping and ruining the lives of people with real ocd and im a terrible person