[simplyghosting]

Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment Man situation.

[gallusrostromegalus]

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

[starathsbunker]

#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus

I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious

[gallusrostromegalus]

A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)

Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.

[cm8x-insanity]

I couldn't get these two and their dynamic out of my head, @gallusrostromegalus I doodled them (guessed on their collars)

[gallusrostromegalus]

OH MY GOD MY CATS HAVE FANART

[dinomoder]

This is the best ad for Project Hail Mary I have ever seen. Like if I was on the fence about watching or reading it, this would convince me to do so.

[whyenn-reader]

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

[whyenn-reader]

the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.

[friendlyfatigue]

remember when linguini brought a rat he found back to his apartment and got all embarrassed and was like it’s not much. to the rat

[teratocrat]

paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for experimental elective dental surgery where they fill my mouth with shark teeth so i can give worse blowjobs

[adultlikers]

[porksweats]

e me a mail

[fortooate]

make the attachment a pic of a snail

[jumpingjacktrash]

give me two gifs

of critters in clover

[nuclearcarrots]

then photoshop them on the CLIIIIIIIFFS OF DOVER

[laurasinele]

I still reference this post today. And yes, when I say I reference it I mean I sing it.

[faggot-rat]

Aborted Descartes voice: I would've thought...if I was.

[reactionfaces]

[crap-userrname16]

[not-available-for-comment]

Haven’t had a chance to watch the tutorial yet, but I’m seriously considering making this for my gf’s niece

[bruzum]

[ravioliet]

i literally love saying "ON IT BOSS!!!!!" whenever someone asks me to do something like i'm some sort of henchman. it doesn't matter if they're my boss or not for real even because in the moment they are, and whatever they requested of me i'm on it

[mini-wrants]

Outdoor in sun perfec t place for president to do speech! Outdoor very warm very soft put old man on green lawn under sun. Put old man in warm sun. no problem ever in warm sun because good view and audience can see long speech. Nice podium outdoor sunny perfect place for old president can trust warm sun to give nice view to President good luck to President. friend sun.

[jame7t]

Caterpillars aren’t exciting enough it should be random what comes out of the cocoon. And for my third wish make my tits bigger again

[musicofthe-ainur]

Am I the only person who thought this was really fucking funny

[eleemosynecdoche]

A lot of the really funny moments in Lord of the Rings come from Tolkien playing with language like this, where we have relatively formal, archaic, “high” language responded to with informal, modern, “low” language. 

[modernclaire]

another hilarious example:

[lotrmusical]

my absolute favorite example of tolkien switching registers in this way is

[dukeofbookingham-deactivated202]

[awakefor48hours]

Every once in a while, I wish the friendship meter from the Sims was real so that way when people tell me "I used Chat-GPT" they can visually see just how much respect I just lost for them in that moment.

[berkelbites]

One time an acquaintance told me she entered Snape's star chart into chatgpt and I could physically feel that meter dropping three separate times over the course of her sentence

[teathattast]