He's here, the Phantom of the Opera!

Astrid Jacobs (Meg Giry) is thrilled to be joining the cast of Phantom! A newcomer to the show, she hopes "to tell a new story with an old one." [ A 1x1 OC RP blog. ]

[balletxbadass]

brooklyn-reynolds‌:

Brooklyn giggled, her nose scrunching as Astrid pecked her nose. God, she would probably make a comment about how sickenly cute they were being if she was watching them. But she wasn’t watching. Oh no, this time she was actually part of the cute couple. She nodded at Astrid’s question. “Of course you can tell her. I think she would be the last person to tell anyone about this. I trust her.” She smiled, her hand slowly running up and down Astrid’s arm. It sounded like Astrid had been just as lost as Brooklyn had been. Both of them asking advice from their friends. And that advice had made them meet up here and confess their feelings for each other. She made a mental note to thank Casper later when she would go off to tell him all about what had happened in the park.

“Brookstrid? Is that going to be our ship name?” Brooklyn laughed, flattered that Astrid had even thought about it already. They were both in so deep. “Anyway…I’m not sure how I want to handle this. I think I will tell my family and a few close friends first.” She bit her lower lip. “Do you think we could keep it a bit lowkey at first? See if we’re going to work out…and then we can change our Facebook status to dating. Rub in everyone’s faces that we’re the cutest couple to ever exist.” She smiled weakly. Scared was probably the right word to describe how she was feeling. There were always people who made nasty comments about the LGBT-community and Brooklyn wasn’t sure if she could handle it, considering her past.

The blonde tried to push the negative thoughts to the back of her head, focusing on Astrid instead and pressing a sweet kiss to her cheek. Oh right, they were trying to be lowkey. So far it wasn’t working. “So, babe, when do you want to go on a date?” Brooklyn had used the petname many times before, but this time it felt different. It made her smile. “I can call you babe, right? Or does sweetcheeks sound better? Or lady lover? Or scissor partner? Or monkey? Or honey bunny? Or pookie?” She playfully poked Astrid’s cheek, laughing. Coming up with pet names was already being amusing.

She giggled as Brooklyn laughed at the ship name. “Well, my name can’t go first. Then it would just start with ass, and that’s not romantic at all.” She sounded like an idiot and she knew it, but she didn’t care. She was so happy. Even with tears still leaking from her eyes, she was grinning so hard her cheeks hurt. She wasn’t going to lose Brooklyn. They were going to stay together, they were going to be together. How could she be anything but thrilled?

When Brooklyn started talking about what she wanted, however, she forced herself to get serious. The was important. “That’s totally fine. You get the set the pace on that stuff, okay? I know I might not look it, but I’m actually very good at being lowkey.” She winked, booping Brooklyn on the nose. “And, hey ... If there’s anyone you’re scared to tell alone, let me know, okay? I’ll totally be with you, 100 percent.” She was thinking of Brooklyn’s parents specifically. She didn’t know the Reynolds, but she remembered how her own parents took it when she came out — which was basically to blow her off and pretend like it wasn’t real. It wasn’t as bad of a reaction as she could’ve gotten, and she knew that, but it still stung, and no one deserved to go through that sort of thing alone, like she had to.

Talks of dates and petnames pulled her into a happier mood. At the mention of pookie, she dissolved into giggles. “Anything but that,” she sang to the tune of The Tango: Maureen. “No, but seriously. Call me what you want.” She leaned forward, whispering conspiratorially. “Except the scissor partners thing? More trouble than it’s worth, in my not-so-humble opinion. You have much to learn, but you have a very good teacher.” She winked, then nudged her. “Not like I’m going to rush you into that or anything, though. Seriously. We can start with dinner.” She wiped at the drying tears on her cheeks. “I probably look like a wreck, though. Do you want to just, like, go back to our hotel room and order an obnoxious amount of room service?”

[balletxbadass]

brooklyn-reynolds:

She hadn’t even paid attention to anything happening around them, but when Astrid mentioned that people were probably filming them, Brooklyn took a moment to take in their surroundings. There were some people watching them from a distance, clearly curious about what was happening. Not that she could blame them, it surely was an interesting sight. Her eyes quickly darted back to her best friend who was now hiding her face. “If you’re going to be a meme, then that will definitely become my new favorite.” She almost cringed at how cheesy it sounded, but she just wanted to cheer Astrid up and stop her from hiding herself even further.

Fortunately, Astrid had the same thing in mind and finally looked at her. Brooklyn tilted her head a little, her thumbs gently running over Astrid’s knuckles as the dancer held her hands. She frowned a bit at Astrid’s words, confused by what she was trying to say. “Just take a breath..” she assured her, smiling softly at the other woman. Brooklyn’s chest warmed up at Astrid’s next words, them being the exact things Brooklyn wanted too. “You’re adorable,” The blonde concluded, a quiet, nervous giggle escaping her throat. “And you are stuck with me for as long as you can handle me, but if you grow tired of me or need a break…let me know, please?” She wanted them to communicate clearly, to make sure that they were both feeling comfortable with the next step they were taking.

Brooklyn let go of Astrid’s hands, pushing a strand of hair behind Astrid’s ear as she leaned closer. “Sssh, you don’t even have to ask..” she tilted her head a bit further, her fingers resting on the other woman’s neck as she closed the distance between them. Ignoring the tears that still fell from Astrid’s cheeks, she grinned against Astrid’s lips, happy that they had finally talked things through and had agreed to take things to a whole new level and see if it would work out. The kiss didn’t last long because Brooklyn pulled away, smiling brightly. “I could get used to this, you know. You’re a pretty good kisser. And from now on, you can kiss me anytime you like. No more asking.” The blonde teased, putting her arm around Astrid’s shoulders and pulling her closer. She pressed a sweet kiss to Astrid’s forehead, brushing some hair away from her face. “I kind of told Casper that I might have feelings for my best friend. Can I tell him about…us?”

But if you grow tired of me or need a break…let me know, please? Astrid bit the inside of her cheek, wanting to tell Brooklyn that would never, ever happen. But those sorts of empty promises didn’t alway do any good. Of course you planned on never leaving the person you loved, but sometimes shit happened. “I promise. Whenever I’m by your side, know that it’s because I 1000% want to be there. And ... And I’ll trust that it’s the same for you.” She let out a deep, long breath. Trust was hard, especially after all this. But Brooklyn was trying really hard, and she knew that, so she’d try hard, too.

Then, they kissed. And oh, it wasn’t quite as magnetic as that time in the hotel room, especially since she was pretty sure that she was still crying and snotting all over everything. But the fact that Brooklyn didn’t care and did it anyways made something warm and comfortable glow in her chest. She giggled a little when Brooklyn said that she didn’t have to ask. “Oh? In that case ...” She leaned forward, making like she was going to kiss Brooklyn on the lips ... only to divert and peck her nose at the last second.

At the mention of Casper, she nodded. “That’s fine. Uh, counter-question though, can I tell Stephanie? Because I sort of asked her for advice on this whole thing, too ...” She laughed, shaking her head a little. “Outside of them ... how do you want to handle this? Because you know, I’m out, but I totally get if you don’t want that yet. So if you want to keep what we have private, or just among a close group of friends, or if you only want to tell people who ask, or if you want to tell everyone we know, or if you want me to shout it from the rooftops, hire a skywriter, get a plane to drag a Brookstrid forever banner across the sky ...” She grinned, clearly joking, and brushed some of Brooklyn’s hair out of her face. “I’ll do whatever you want, as slow or as fast as you want. You just gotta let me know.”

[balletxbadass]

brooklyn-reynolds:

Brooklyn had expected many things to happen, but having Astrid sobbing wasn’t one of them. She had never seen her cry in the first place. Okay, maybe she did expect Astrid to maybe tear up a bit, but have her full on sobbing? That wasn’t part of the plan. It took her by surprise. How was she supposed to continue her little serenade with Astrid crying against her shoulder? It was clear from Astrid’s words that they were mostly happy tears, but Astrid crying wasn’t a sight that Brooklyn liked. She gently put her arm around Astrid, pulling her closer. She felt a tear tickle down her neck and that’s when she realised she had to stop singing. Brooklyn was afraid that her voice would break if she had to continue.

“So, with a thousand sweet kisses…I’ll cover you.” She whispered the last words, her free hand reaching out to gently stroke Astrid’s hair. The blonde remained silent for a bit, swallowing down the lump in her throat. The emotions of all this were all getting to her as well, but she was going to stay strong. For Astrid. “Why are you crying?” Brooklyn gently pushed Astrid away from her to take a look at her face. She smiled softly at the sight. Somehow it was adorable. “Look at you…so beautiful.” She spoke from her heart. Astrid simply looked beautiful, even with red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Her thumbs brushed the remaining tears off her cheeks.

“I want to give it a shot. You and me. See if there’s more than just a friendship.” Brooklyn confessed, staring into Astrid’s eyes. “And if it doesn’t work out then….then I want us to laugh about it…as friends.” No matter what, she didn’t want to lose Astrid. She was too close to her heart. Their friendship was too precious. “Is that what you want, too? Because if you don’t, then that’s totally fine. I don’t want to force myself onto you like I did when I kissed you. Your opinion matters too and I don’t want you to feel like I’m the one calling the shots in our friendship, because it goes both ways.” She rambled, her insecurity about all this showing. “I just want to make you feel comfortable and if that means having the most awesome friendship with you then I will choose that any day. I’m rambling, aren’t I?” A nervous laugh escaped past her lips.

Astrid whined a little when Brooklyn called her beautiful, hiding her face in her sleeves. “Y-You’re full of shi-it,” she mumbled, voice muffled, still wobbly with tears. But there was a little laughter in there, too. Leave it to Brooklyn to find her beautiful even when she was full on ugly sobbing. “I’m c-crying because you’re rid-hiculously romantic, and I don’t even know-ow how to handle this right now.” She reached out, poking Brooklyn on the tip of her nose. “Pe-eople are definitely filming this, though, aren’t they? Oh, God, I’m going to become a meme.” She pulled up the hood on her light sweatshirt, feeling grateful that it was actually cool enough that she was still wearing one. She pulled it down over her eyes, wincing a little at the damp feel. Would the tears ever end?

Certainly not with Brooklyn talking like that. But, still, she tried to suck it up enough to make herself somewhat coherent, tugging her hood down so that she could look Brooklyn in the eyes again. “Brook ...” Tears were still streaming down her cheeks, but her voice was steadier, at least. She reached out and took the other woman’s hands in hers. “I’m ... shit at relationships.” She groaned, hanging her head. “Wait, wait, I didn’t mean it like that!” She shook her head, grinning ruefully. Brooklyn serenaded her and Astrid gave her that. She sighed, trying again.

“I mean, what I’m trying to say is ... whatever fear you have in your head, whatever mistakes you’re scared of making ... don’t be. Because I swear, I’ve probably made all of them and worse, and I came out fine on the other side. There’s nothing you can do to scare me away. You’re stuck with me, for as long as you want me.” She sighed, squeezing Brooklyn’s hands. “So ... yes, I want to give us a go. And maybe it won’t work, maybe in a week we’ll decide we’re better off as friends, but for now I want to ... to go on dates with you, and treat you right, and hold your hands like this and ... and kiss you.” She looked Brooklyn right in the eyes, ignoring the way her own watered. “I really want to kiss you, actually. Like, right now. Can I kiss you? Or is it too fast, or ...?”

[balletxbadass]

brooklyn-reynolds:

Brooklyn let out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding when Astrid said she had forgiven her. Her eyes focused on her hands as Astrid spoke, not showing any sort of reaction. But when she felt Astrid’s eyes on her, she looked up. Their eyes met for a brief moment, until Brooklyn darted them back to her lap. Out of the corner of her eyes she noticed movement and saw Astrid reaching out for her with her hands. It was as if Brooklyn was frozen on the spot, not being able to move. She wanted to take Astrid’s hands to show her that they were getting okay again, but she just couldn’t move. Instead she looked up, her sad eyes watching Astrid as she spoke. Her words were sweet and gentle even though Brooklyn could see the pain behind her eyes.

Seeing Astrid so close to tears made Brooklyn want to cry as well. She hated seeing her friend in pain and it made her feel even worse since she was the cause of it. She knew how awkward they must have looked to anyone watching them from a distance. Both of them with their hands in their lap, trying not too get too close to each other. But touch was what made Brooklyn feel most comfortable, whether it was a simple hand-holding or an arm around her shoulders. Brooklyn needed to feel the warmth of someone’s arms around her. So, instead of saying something immediately, she wrapped her arms around Astrid’s neck and hugged her tightly. “I don’t want to lose you either.” She whispered, taking a moment to breathe in Astrid’s scent. Oh, how she had missed this. Even if it had only been a few weeks, she had missed the tight embraces they shared.

After a few seconds, Brooklyn pulled away, a hand running through her hair nervously. “When I kissed you… I just-I freaked out. My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest and my head-my mind was racing. I had to calm down, that’s why I ran away.” She turned so she was facing Astrid. It took her moment to come up with what she wanted to say next. “I can’t say how I feel about you. I want to tell you, but I don’t think my words would make it completely clear. It’s just too messy up here.” She pointed to her head, “So, instead… I’d like to sing it.” The blonde cleared her throat and took both of Astrid’s hands in her own. “Live in my house, I’ll be your shelter. Just pay me back with one thousand kisses, be my lover and I’ll cover you.” It was difficult to sing without music, but the words came straight out of her heart and when she looked into Astrid’s eyes she knew exactly who she was singing it for. She raised her voice a bit, gently squeezing Astrid’s hands. “Open your door, I’ll be your tenant. Don’t got much baggage to lay at your feet, but sweet kisses I’ve got to spare. I’ll be there and I’ll cover you.”

The second Brooklyn wrapped her arms around her, something in her loosened. Like an avalanche on the verge of collapsing, for a second she thought she might be able to hold it together. But then Brooklyn started singing. And everything she had been holding back, all of the worry and fear and hope and the love -- most of all, the love -- came spilling right out of her eyes. The tears of sadness and worry that she managed to hold back all of this time didn’t stand a chance against the tears of joy this made. Brooklyn wanted her. She was serenading her in the middle of a park like some sort of ridiculous romantic comedy, and Astrid loved every minute of it.

Unfortunately, there was a reason Astrid did her best to hold in her tears most of the time -- and that was because once she started crying, it just got harder and harder to stop. It wasn’t long before she was full on ugly sobbing, burying her face in her sleeve to try and muffle some of the ridiculousness that was currently forcing its way out of her mouth. This was probably ... not what Brooklyn was expecting. She was fully aware of just how ridiculous she probably looked, which made her laugh, a weird choking noise mixed in with the sobs.

“Y-Y-You are s-s-s-such a n-n-nerd!” She finally wailed, when she was actually able to make words happen. She leaned against Brooklyn’s shoulder, trying to hide her face behind the other woman’s hair. “A very c-cute nerd, though,” she mumbled.

[balletxbadass]

brooklyn-reynolds:

Life-changing moment

The last thing Brooklyn had expected to find in her dressing room was a letter. It didn’t take her long to figure out who wrote it. But the words hit her right in her heart. Astrid wanted to be involved in her life, in whatever way possible and even if Brooklyn wanted to end their friendship, she would be okay with that too. Brooklyn didn’t want their friendship to end. She wanted the complete opposite. She wanted to be friends with Astrid for the rest of her life, but deep in her heart she knew that she wanted just a bit more. The words that Astrid had written gave her a tiny spark of hope that Astrid wanted that bit more as well. Brooklyn was scared. Scared of meeting up with her best friend and discuss what had happened and what the future held for them. But here she was, her hands tucked away in her coat and the folded letter hidden in the pocket of her jeans. Brooklyn ran a hand through her long blonde hair as she entered the park that Astrid had mentioned in her letter. She stood, observing the park for a moment to try and see if she could spot her friend.

When her eyes fell onto a familiar blonde sitting on a bench further in the park, Brooklyn began doubting herself. Maybe she shouldn’t have come here. Maybe it would be better for the two of them if they never spoke of what happened ever again. But all Brooklyn could think about was how she would disappoint both Casper and Astrid by chickening out. “Past the point of no return.” The actress whispered to herself as she walked in the direction of Astrid. She carefully approached her friend, her heart beating quickly and her mind filled with different thoughts. She automatically leaned down for a hug but decided against it at the last moment. It would be the most awkward hug she had ever had and right now she just wanted to feel as comfortable as she could.

“Hi..” Brooklyn said quietly, taking a seat next to Astrid, but making sure to keep some space between them. She crossed her legs and played with her own fingers in her lap. She tucked her hair behind her ear and stared blankly ahead of herself. What was she supposed to say? Pour her heart out right away? Let Astrid take the first step? No. Brooklyn had to be the one to take the first step and she knew she had to. “I’m sorry…about what happened and how I behaved afterwards,” Brooklyn didn’t dare to look at her best friend, ashamed of herself, instead her gaze dropped down to her lap. She took a deep breath before continuing. “It wasn’t fair and you didn’t deserve any of it.” She swallowed. It wasn’t the perfect way of starting a conversation, but Brooklyn was glad that she had managed to speak correct sentences.

Astrid tapped her foot nervously as she sat on the park bench. What if Brooklyn didn’t show up? What if she did show up? She had no idea what she was supposed to say. Should she start the conversation, or should she wait for Brooklyn to? What if she messed this up even worse and wound up losing her best friend? What if she just straight up didn’t show up at all? They’d have to see each other in the dressing room later, and she wasn’t sure how she’d handle that. Or the rest of the tour, for that matter. But as it turned out, she didn’t have to worry about that. Brooklyn did come, and it wasn’t too long of a pause before she got to it. When she did, something loosened in Astrid’s chest. The doubt that had been clouding her mind was just a little bit easier to see through. Brooklyn was her best friend. She could do this.

“Thank you for apologizing,” she said. Her tone sounded a little stiff, but it was just because she didn’t want to blow off the apology. She knew it took a lot for Brooklyn to say that and she didn’t want to shrug it off with a simple it’s okay because it wasn’t okay. But ... “Of course I forgive you,” she said in a rush. “I get it, Brooklyn -- I get how confusing this must be for you. When I first started realizing I was attracted to girls, I was confused, too, I --” The words were out of her mouth before I could stop them. “That’s -- That’s not to say ...” She took a deep breath, and let it out. Did it again. She turned and looked Brooklyn right in the eyes, reaching out but not quite touching the other woman’s hands.

“Look, Brooklyn, I’m not assuming anything here,” she said. “I get that -- that sometimes things happen, and you aren’t going to, like, hurt my feelings, no matter what you say next. But I think it’s important for you to know ... kissing you felt right. It felt really right. And I’d definitely be okay with ... with exploring that. If you wanted.” Her chest felt weirdly tight. “I’m not telling you that to try and pressure you into anything, though. It’s just ... I think it’s important, that you know how I feel, and ... and I really did mean what I said in the letter. If you didn’t feel anything, or -- or even if you did feel something, but now just isn’t the right time -- you don’t have to explain it to me, or anything like that. I’m friends with lots of people I kissed, really, you’re not going to have to worry about me hurting or pining after you. Nothing you do is going to make me care about you any less, so please -- please stop pushing me away. I’m sorry if it’s selfish of me to ask that of you, I know what I said in the letter, and I’d still do it if it was what you really needed, but I don’t -- I don’t want to lose another friend.” She was dangerously close to tearing up, her voice tiny and small. She pressed her hands into her lap and pushed her lips together.

[balletxbadass]

Messed up

[balletxbadass]

stephanie-ramsey:

The response Astrid gave her genuinely surprised her. She raised one eyebrow and let an amusing smile play on her lips. “I never heard that one before. I’m flattered, but I don’t swing that way. Plus, I’m sure there’s someone else that you would rather kiss.” Stephanie threw Astrid a playful wink, feeling surprisingly at ease with Astrid’s exclamation of wanting to kiss her. It was entertaining to watch how Astrid then came into a fit of hysterical laughter at her own words. She didn’t question it, it was probably some sort of joke on Astrid’s end that Stephanie didn’t get. “Exactly. All you have to do is give her the space and time to read it. Don’t pressure her into reading it and don’t mention anything about the letter either. Otherwise she will still feel pressured.” She smiled softly.

“Yeah, it’s not only good for Brooklyn, but also for yourself. It’s not good to keep everything inside, it helps to write it out on paper and say everything you want.” Stephanie spoke from experience. She had kept a diary for a few months after Emily’s father left her and wrote all the thoughts she had at the moment. It helped her deal with stuff in some way. The brunette leaned forward and hugged Astrid gently, slowly rubbing her back as she did so. “Oh, you don’t have to. It’s kind of my second job to listen to complaints and give advice around here. Sometimes I feel like the mother figure around here, y’know?” She joked, pulling away from the blonde before the hug got too long and would turn awkward. “Besides that I think it would be much more fun if you took Brooklyn out for dinner. Don’t tell her, but I’m already shipping you two.” Stephanie chuckled.

Astrid had her serious doubts on the matter of Stephanie’s sexuality, but now wasn’t the time or place for that. (Well, okay, it was never the time and place to question someone’s sexuality other than your own, but still. Now was especially not the time for that.) Instead, she just gave other two finger guns and a wink, complete with a smile that was even halfway on its way to being sincere. “Sure, sure. Just don’t come complaining when you realize that you missed a golden opportunity,” she joked. And it really was a joke, she realized. Her feelings for Stephanie were — well, okay, more than a little complicated, but when she compared them to how she felt for Brooklyn? There was no comparison. She just hadn’t let herself think about it.

Still, the other woman’s hug was warm and appreciated, and she was a little sorry when she finally pulled away. When she made a shipping comment, she groaned. “Please tell me I won’t find graphic real person fic in your files if I look,” she said. “But no, seriously. Thank you.” She squeezed Stephanie one more time before letting go. And after Stephanie left, she got to work. She typed things out in the notes on her phone so that she wouldn’t waste too much paper. Once she was finished, she grabbed a pen and paper and wrote:

Brooklyn,

I’m not mad or upset with you. I sort of wanted to get that out of the way first. I get that what happened between us is confusing, and I want you to know that I’m not expecting anything from you. Whatever you need me to be to you, I’ll be that. If you need me to be your friend, I’ll be the best damn friend you ever had. If you need me to be something more, I’ll be that, too. If you want to try at something more and then decide we’re better off friends, I’ll be totally 100% fine with that, no hesitation. If you need us to not be friends at all anymore ... that will hurt, of course it will. But I’ll do that for you, too. But what we’ve been doing, the way we dance around the topic, the way we can’t even hold conversations about the weather anymore ... I really don’t want to keep doing that. I do want some sort of answer. Even if that answer is an “I don’t know” or a “I need more time to think,” you know? Just some sort of step forward, something to break this horrible awful awkwardness between us because I HATE it.

I’m not going to come after you for an answer tonight, don’t worry. I’m going to give you your space all tomorrow, for as long as I can (we do have a show to do that night, eventually ...). But at 4 PM, I’m going to be at that pretty park we drove by in the tour bus. If you’re ready to talk, you can meet me there. If you aren’t ... I guess that’s sort of an answer, too? I don’t know. Ultimatums are shitty, and I don’t want you to feel like 4PM tomorrow is the ONLY TIME WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS EVER, CASE CLOSED. It’s not. It’s not like I’m going to stop talking to you or being your friend if you don’t show up, but ...? I’d really like you to show up. Because I do want us to start moving past this. Whatever direction we go is totally up to you. As long as we’re going somewhere ... you know?

- Astrid

[balletxbadass]

Messed up

[balletxbadass]

stephanie-ramsey:

Stephanie raised both of her eyes at Astrid’s fustrated comments. That was not exactly what she was expecting from the blonde, but she understood that she was feeling frustrated. She listened to Astrid’s rant, nodding every once in a while to show her that she was still listening. She was feeling a bit at loss herself as well, how was she supposed to help when she had never gone through something similar? Yet, Stephanie felt responsible for helping the two girls. They were her friends after all. “Listen, I’ve got an idea. It might be a bit strange, but it’s just an idea. You don’t actually have to do such a thing if you don’t like it.” The brunette leaned forward and showed the dancer an apologetic smile, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly before leaning back in her seat.

“How about you write her a letter? Write everything you just said to me, tell her how you feel about this. Tell her that you don’t want to push her into anything, but that you’re there for her whenever she needs you. Maybe at the end you can ask her to meet you somewhere. Pick a place where you both feel comfortable and have some privacy so you can talk things through if she shows up. Leave the letter right here when you know she’s going to be alone in your dressing room.” She smiled softly. “Trust me, she will read it. Everyone would be curious if they found a letter adressed to them, that doesn’t exactly happen every day.” Of course there was still a possibility of Brooklyn not showing up if Astrid asked her to show up, but for some reason Stephanie thought Brooklyn would definitely show up. “A letter will give her time to read it and think things through. It won’t be as much of a confrontation than a real-life conversation and it’s a much better alternative than some lame text. A letter is more personal, you know?” She wasn’t expecting Astrid to agree with her, but Stephanie was just trying to give her a nudge in the right direction.

Astrid wasn’t really expecting Stephanie to have a solution. She didn’t want to ask one of her, because she knew she would be being unfair. She just wanted someone who would listen to her complain. So she was pleasantly surprised when Stephanie did come up with a solution. “Stephanie, I could literally kiss you right now.” She paused, then wrinkled her nose. “Whoo, poor choice of words.” A giddy, semi-hysterical laugh crawled up her throat, and she tried and failed to disguise it as a cough. But she did feel relieved. It felt like a relief to have something to do. “That’s a really good idea, is what I’m trying to say. You’re right, it will give her a chance to hear what I have to say and think about it without feeling like I’m waiting for her response or judging her or anything. It’s a really good idea.”

She took a deep breath. It was a bit of a relief to find that she could, actually. Something around her chest felt a little bit looser. Not gone, but far more manageable. “Even if she doesn’t answer ... I think it will make me feel better to write it to her. Get all of my thoughts out one way or another, y’know?” She smiled at Stephanie. “Thank you, Stephanie. I should complain to you more often.” She reached out to the other woman for a hug. “I owe you and Em a dinner or something. After all of this craziness dies down one way or another.”

[balletxbadass]

Messed up

[balletxbadass]

stephanie-ramsey:

Stephanie nodded. Of course she could keep a secret. Astrid made it sound like something horrible had happened, like they had hidden a dead body. Now, Stephanie wasn’t sure what she was expecting to have happened, but when Astrid said that Brooklyn had kissed her, it all made sense. It took her some time to process everything that Astrid said to her. About losing Brooklyn in particular. It was something Stephanie couldn’t imagine happening. The two girls were inseparable, that’s why it stood out to Stephanie that lately they hadn’t been so close. “You won’t lose her, Astrid. Like you said, she’s your best friend. Best friends don’t leave each other like that, they stick around longer than you think. I bet she has at least thought of you ten times today. Wondering how you were feeling about what happened.” She spoke softly, a small smile on her face. She didn’t know what Brooklyn was thinking about everything that happened and that wasn’t making any of it easier.

“Maybe she’s taking some distance from you to give herself and you some time to think about what happened. Maybe she’s trying to protect your friendship.” The brunette crossed her legs, her hands resting on her knee. “You shouldn’t worry about being the one to apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong. It was her who kissed you first and it’s like an immediate reflex to kiss back. That’s not your fault. What matters is if you wanted to kiss her back or if it was indeed some sort of a reflex.” Her eyes scanned Astrid’s face for any sort of hint. “Personally, I think you should wait until she comes to you. Don’t try to push her into talking cause then it might frighten her. Try to keep the conversation light between you two, talk about the show, make-up or even the weather.” She let out a soft chuckle. The weather really was a lame subject to talk about. “But when she’s ready to talk, then let her know you’re there for her and that you’re not going anywhere. And that you respect any choice she decides to make, even if she wants to take some time off your friendship. I know it might be hard, but she needs to know that she can confide in you.”

Best friends don’t leave each other like that. “Except they do, Stephanie! I’ve had it happen, before ... Ugghhh!” She made a frustrated noise, burying her face in her hands, because she felt like she was just going to lose it and she needed to do something to vent that feeling that didn’t involve sobbing until she made herself sick. She hated crying, she could never stop once she started, so she tried to avoid it whenever she could. Even though she had sort of felt like crying ever since Brooklyn just decided to up and stop talking to her. She hated it, especially since they couldn’t just avoid something like you could avoid a drunken hookup in college. Not that she wanted Brooklyn to avoid her, because of course she didn’t. But that would almost be preferable to this awkward cold-shoulder stuff she was putting her through.

“How is making me feel like trash protecting our friendship?” She snapped, before feeling immediately bad about it. “Making me act like trash, too — sorry, Steph, you didn’t deserve that.” She ran a hand through her hair, wincing at the stiff feel of it -- she still had the heavy duty hairspray that she used onstage. “It’s just — I’ve tried that, being calm, keeping conversation light, but it’s just so — so awkward, having that hang between us. We’re both just totally useless at conversation, and every time one starts I can see her waiting until it ends. And I swear, I swear I never come at it confrontationally. This shit — sexuality is really confusing, take it from the queen of trying on labels and tossing them out when they no longer fit. I would never, ever try to make her feel bad about anything like that, but ... but how am I supposed to let her know that when I can’t even get her to stay in the room with me?” Astrid clenched her fists hard. “I just — I need closure on this, Stephanie. I need closure or I’m going to lose my fucking mind, or my lunch, or — or I don’t even know.”

[balletxbadass]

Messed up

[balletxbadass]

stephanie-ramsey:

Stephanie had arrived early to make sure Matthew and Natasha got their costumes on time. She was positive that she was the only one at the theater…until she heard a loud whine as she passed Brooklyn and Astrid’s dressing room. She curiously raised an eyebrow and turned her head around the corner to see what was up. It was Astrid. And it looked like she was throwing a tantrum the same way Emily did. Stephanie found it surprisingly entertaining until Astrid stated that she needed to talk to someone. Despite it being entertaining to see how Astrid throwed a tantrum, Stephanie was still a mother and cared about everyone of the cast. Astrid being one of the few that she cared most about. 

“Yes, of course!” the brunette quickly replied, stepping inside the girls’ dressing room and closing the door behind her. She had nothing else to do anyway and even if she did, Astrid would come first. “What’s going on?” the woman sat down in Brooklyn’s chair that was close to Astrid’s, turning her body to face her friend. “Does it have something to do with Brooklyn?” She had noticed that Astrid and Brooklyn hadn’t been as close lately, in fact it seemed like there was some sort of tension between the two girls. Even though Stephanie didn’t like interfering with other people’s lives, she was still wearing her mom pants and wanted to help.

Astrid’s eyes widened as the other guessed Brooklyn right off the bat. She had been planning on keeping her friend’s name out of it -- she didn’t want to out Brooklyn to anyone or make the situation worse. But she knew that if she tried to step around it, Stephanie would see right through her. “That’s ... a complicated question,” she admitted, rubbing the back of her neck. “But -- you can keep a secret, right? I just -- If Brooklyn finds out I told anyone, it might hurt her more. And I don’t want that. I’m not telling you to gossip or anything, I just -- I don’t know what to do, and I need someone with a level head. So, yeah. Just know that I don’t feel great about telling you this without her permission, and -- and keep that in mind. Definitely don’t tell her I told you or try and use this information when talking to her later. Just, entirely, pretend you don’t know. Even if you mean well, that’s just going to make things worse. If any good end is going to happen, Brooklyn needs to come to terms with it on her own, no nudges or anything like that.” She knew people who did that, and she didn’t want that for Brooklyn.

“It, of course, being ...” Astrid paused, then took a deep breath. “Brooklyn kissed me. Like, totally. She initiated it, and -- and then she just totally freaked out on me. And, like, okay? I get it. Maybe she decided she didn’t actually like me like that, or she just wanted to try things out and changed her mind. I get that, totally. Not offended by it. But she won’t even talk to me now. And I just -- I care so much about her. She’s my best friend. And I -- I even told her -- I hate losing friends because my sexuality gets in the way.” It hadn’t happened like it usually happened, granted, but it still happened. “I don’t want to lose Brooklyn too. I just want my friend back, but I don’t know how that can happen when I can’t even get her to stay in a room for five minutes for me to apologize or whatever I need to do to fix this.”

[balletxbadass]

Messed up

Well, fuck.

That thought -- or variations of it -- had been on Astrid’s mind since the kiss. She just didn’t know what to do about it. She hadn’t meant for things to wind up like they did. She certainly didn’t want to do anything to make Brooklyn uncomfortable. She had really, really liked kissing her -- but more than that, she liked being her friend. Why did she have to mess everything up? And the worst part was, Brooklyn wouldn’t even let her talk about it. All she wanted to do was apologize and beg for things to go back to the way they used to be, but every time she even tried, Brooklyn ran from the room like she was on fire.

Astrid whined loudly, pressing her palms into her face and kicking her legs up and down like a kid throwing a temper tantrum. Why the fuck not, she was alone! There was just Stephanie, and -- wait. Shit. “Oh, uh, hey.” The other woman had clearly only been passing by. In retrospect, she probably should have closed the door before acting like a petulant child. On the other hand, she was kind of grateful that Stephanie had showed up. “Uh, do you have a second? I feel like I’m gonna break something, I need to talk to someone about this.” She wanted it to come out sounding tough, but her throat felt really dry all of a sudden. She grabbed her water bottle and drank from it to try to try and hide the fact that she was maybe, slightly losing it, just a little.

[brooklyn-reynolds]

Kiss me

[balletxbadass]

brooklyn-reynolds:

She sighed dramatically when Astrid told her she was disappointed. “You have such high expectations of me, how am I supposed to fulfill those?” She playfully stuck her tongue out at her friend. “I guess I could give you a lap dance.” Brooklyn sat up and settled in Astrid’s lap, her legs on either side of the dancer’s body and her head resting against the other girl’s shoulder. “But I’m not going to give you that satisfaction.” She whispered, her mouth close to Astrid’s ear. Their friendship came with a lot of laughter between them. Whenever Brooklyn had a rough day, Astrid always managed to put a smile back on her face. She was her best friend and Brooklyn couldn’t wish for a better one. Astrid was her person. Just like the two doctors on Grey’s Anatomy always said.

Brooklyn brought her hand up and played with Astrid’s hair absentmindedly as she got lost in thought. Thoughts that were about Astrid. How amazing she was and how lucky Brooklyn felt with having her as her best friend. She felt comfortable around her, she made Brooklyn feel loved like nobody had ever done. Even though they loved to tease each other, Brooklyn knew that at the end of the day they had each other’s backs. She admired it. She admired Astrid. In a moment of pure adoration for her best friend, Brooklyn sat up straight. She wrapped her arms around Astrid’s neck and blue eyes stared deeply into Astrid’s orbs. For some reason, Brooklyn leaned closer and her eyes flickered to perfectly shaped lips. She didn’t think about what she did next, she just did it. The blonde tilted her head a little and closed her eyes, leaning closer until her lips met Astrid’s. And for the first time in a long while, Brooklyn felt butterflies in her stomach.

At first, Astrid thought this was just the natural extension of trying to fluster her. Which, if it was, was totally working. Her brain pretty much short-circuited the second Brooklyn’s lips touched hers, so that she couldn’t even react. But then, she realized that this wasn’t just a playful peck meant to tease. This was a kiss. A real kiss. Brooklyn was kissing her.

... Alright, then.

Astrid didn’t honestly know what the right course of action was here. And when she didn’t know what to do, she tended to trust her gut. And right now, her gut was telling her to kiss Brooklyn back. (In all fairness, that might have been a different part of her body entirely, but she wasn’t going to argue with it.) She put her hands firmly on Brooklyn’s waist, not holding or restraining but simply feeling. She tilted her head a bit to the side and leaned against her, kissing her back softly but surely. When her long hair fell in her face, one of her hands came up to brush it away, and she let it linger on Brooklyn’s cheek. This felt right. Brooklyn’s weight on top of her, the feel of her lips, all of it felt right. Her hand curved perfectly to fit the other woman’s cheek. Their lips pressed together like they were made for each other.

[brooklyn-reynolds]

Kiss me

[balletxbadass]

brooklyn-reynolds:

“Steak can be great though! I’d rather have a good steak than a horrible dessert, if you catch my meaning.” She threw her friend a wink, a chuckle escaping past her lips. Brooklyn felt comfortable like this. Her and Astrid sharing a room, complaining about men and sharing the worst sexual innuendos. Of course, that’s basically what they did in their dressing rooms, but there was always the idea of someone eavesdropping while they could speak freely in a hotel room. As long as they didn’t start shouting, because then chances would be high that one of them would be placed with someone else. Their director had warned the two of them before. They had been laughing too loud and disturbed other cast and crew members by doing so. Brooklyn and Astrid had promised to be less loud, but they couldn’t help it that they were having the best times of their lives while sharing a room.

Brooklyn groaned dramatically when Astrid said it wasn’t going to work. “What am I supposed to do now? It was my only plan…” she let herself fall forward, her forehead resting against Astrid’s shoulder and her arms just hanging beside her body. The actress dramatically slumped down Astrid’s body until her head was resting in the other girl’s lap, her ankles hanging off the edge of the bed and her shirt riding a bit up her stomach, her bare skin showing. “I might as well die now in the arms of the only person I have ever loved. Hold me, Romeo! Don’t let your precious Julliet die like this, hold her one last time.” Somehow, she managed not to burst out in laughter. Instead she put on her most dramatic facial expression, placing the back of her hand against her forehead. “Please…” Brooklyn whispered, her blue eyes staring up at Astrid.

“Girl, I feel you.” She loved sex as much as the next person, sure, but that didn’t mean that was all there was to the relationship. Why else would people talk about how fun the beginning of the relationship was? That was when you were really getting to know each other, connecting with each other on a real level. Like how she and Brooklyn were always learning new things about each other! It was just as important as doing anything physical. Astrid always did her best to communicate and have fun with her partners on top of giving physical affection when they wanted it. That sometimes led to her putting way more work into the relationship, but that was a risk she was willing to take.

As the other dramatically slumped, Astrid snickered. Then she straightened and put on her best Shakespearean voice. “Ah, dear Juliet, why art thou yet so fair?Shall I believe that unsubstantial death is amorous, and that the lean abhorred monster keeps thee here in dark to be his paramour?” She silently thanked high school theater, where an utter lack of capable guys meant that she played Romeo her senior year. That line had always stuck out to her, simply because of how extra it was, so she remembered it. Dissolving into giggles at the end of her speech, she leaned back with her hands behind her head. “But really, that was your only plan to fluster me? I’m disappointed, Reynolds. I was expecting more creativity.”

[brooklyn-reynolds]

Kiss me

[balletxbadass]

brooklyn-reynolds:

After the few weeks of touring Astrid was the one person Brooklyn had spent the most time with. Not only did they share a dressing room, they also went out for coffee together, hung out after the show, went for walks together and now they even shared a room. It almost felt like they were dating. They cuddled as much as they could and flirted with each other as well. Brooklyn had heard people whisper about her friendship with Astrid behind her back, but Brooklyn knew better than them. She and Astrid were best friends, nothing more. In fact, the dancer had a crush on Stephanie and Brooklyn couldn’t be happier for her. She even teased her about it, but deep inside there was a slight sense of jealousy. Why couldn’t Brooklyn be the one to find love? She needed someone in her life to show her that relationships were fun and filled with love, not with her crying herself to sleep almost every night and feeling miserable. There was no doubt in her mind that the person who got to date Astrid would be the luckiest person in the world. Brooklyn felt blessed with a friend like her.

The actress stared at the wall as she listened to Astrid explaining what it was like to kiss a girl. “Guys want one thing only and that’s sex. They kiss you because it leads to sex and that really frustrates me. They need to keep it in their pants. A kiss is meant to show love and yeah, it can be passionate but you know….at least to me sex shouldn’t be the real reason behind a kiss.” Brooklyn said quietly, her hands resting in her lap. She smiled a bit when Astrid told her that she was biased. “I know you’re biased, babe. I know your fantasies about Steph, about how much you want to kiss her.” The blonde pulled away from her friend, sitting on her knees and placing her hands on either side of Astrid’s waist. “As long as I’ll stay your number one like you said, I’ll ship it. If not….then I’ll tickle you to death.” Her lips formed into a smirk as she slowly dragged her fingers over the dancer’s waist, softly tickling her over her clothes.

Astrid snorted a little at Brooklyn’s analysis of men. “Right? It’s like rushing through a filet mignon to get to dessert. Like, I get it, dude, dessert is awesome, but why don’t you shut up and savor your steak for a second?” She was happy to go along with this -- this was what girls who were friends did, after all. They complained about men, can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em. Except Astrid ... Well, she could live without ‘em. And the more Brooklyn talked, the more it sounded like she could as well. Or was she reading too much into things? Was she getting her hopes up? Wait, no, she wasn’t hoping for Brooklyn to suddenly go for girls, ugh, that made her sound like some sort of anti-gay cliche. Or like one of those awful friendzoned dudebros, maybe. But ... If Brooklyn decided to explore that part of her sexuality ... she wouldn’t exactly be unhappy ...?

Of course, the conversation quickly turned to Stephanie. In fact, Astrid couldn’t help noticing just how often Brooklyn made the conversation go there. She made Astrid’s vague, sort-of crush sound like an all-consuming pining. It was a little interesting, actually ... but before she had time to analyze that little nugget of information, Brooklyn’s slender fingers were poking into her sides. She giggled, but not because of the sensation. “Brook, babe, you’re gonna have to try harder than that! I’m a dancer, remember? Lots of grabbing, twirling ... Those nerve endings are pretty much dead.” Astrid wiggled her eyebrows. “It’s going to take more than that to fluster me.”

[brooklyn-reynolds]

Kiss me

[balletxbadass]

brooklyn-reynolds:

Brooklyn comfortably laid her head against Astrid’s shoulder, her arm loosely lying over the other girl’s stomach. There was something natural about the way they laid there. Brooklyn was used to being cuddled up against someone else, the guys she dated were all taller than her. Even though she was taller than Astrid, she was perfectly fine with lying just like this. “Well, you’ve got plenty of months to get used to this. Unless you’re going to get it on with Stephanie soon and share a room with her.” She teased, but deep inside there was a bit of jealousy. Whenever she was Astrid and Stephanie together, her stomach tightened. Brooklyn had tried to shrug it off, but the feeling wouldn’t go away.

The actress looked up from her spot against Astrid’s shoulder, her bright eyes meeting the dancer’s. Her eyes - again - flickered between her lips and eyes, but this time she didn’t panic. Instead she wondered. She wondered what it would be like to kiss a girl, not necessarily Astrid, but a girl in general. “What’s it like to kiss a girl? Casper told me that it’s soft and gentle, but let’s be honest here. Surely girl on girl is different, right?” Brooklyn didn’t know what had washed over her. Of course she had thought about kissing a girl just to see what it would be like, but she had never spoken her thoughts out loud. She knew, or at least hoped, that Astrid wouldn’t judge her for being curious. “I’ve thought about trying it. Just for once. Like…I know I’m straight, but kissing a girl….that’s something everyone should try sometime. I guess. Or am I being weird again?” The blonde scrunched her nose up at her own words, pulling her arm away from the girl and instead just sitting next to Astrid in her embrace, her own hands fumbling with each other.

Astrid nuzzled her face into Brooklyn’s hair, grinning. “You know you’ll always be number one, babe,” she said. And she meant it. Relationships were important to her, but so were friendships. She wasn’t the type of girl who got a new partner and promptly forgot all of her friends existed until the inevitable breakup crying sessions. Maybe ... Maybe that was why it was so easy for her to shrug off the idea of Stephanie right now, as attractive as she was. Maybe it was a little pessimistic, but Astrid couldn’t see a future with the two of them in it. They’d be able to have fun, for awhile, but ... Stephanie couldn’t be her forever person. They were just too different. And usually that didn’t bother her -- Astrid was a live-in-the-moment kind of girl -- but it was sort of hard not to think about when she was pretty sure that she was holding her real forever person here, in her arms right now. Like ... like those two doctor BFFs on Grey’s Anatomy, or something. You know. Platonic forever people.

She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts, that Brooklyn’s question caught her entirely off guard. She was so shocked, she couldn’t even formulate an answer before Brooklyn was going on a rant that sounded like ... Well, it sounded a lot like the sorts of things Astrid told herself, before coming out. Was Brooklyn struggling with her own sexuality? Astrid had no idea how to approach this situation. Excitement for her friend figuring something new out about herself warred with the worry that anything she said would come across as her trying to turn the other woman. Plus, she knew from experience that putting it to blatantly -- nah, that’s gay -- usually just made you more sure that you were straight if you weren’t ready to come to terms with it. This would have to be dealt with delicately. “It’s not weird at all, dude,” she shrugged. “I mean -- it’s natural to be curious, I think. A ‘grass is always greener’ situation, y’know. Or ... I think it’s sort of cool, when people want to try new things. Opening yourself up to new experiences like that, y’know, you get to learn new things about yourself. No matter what you figure out, it’s cool.” Her heart was beating fast. She hoped she was handling this situation okay. “You can always ask me questions like that,” she assured the other. “Or talk to me about ... whatever. Oh! To answer your question, it’s like ... yeah, kissing girls is softer, but it’s sort of more than that. Like, when you’re kissing a guy, they have a tendency to sort of ... take on a certain role, you know, they tend to kiss with a lot of force and sort of, they have a direction they want to take it and they just take it there and expect you to go along for the ride. But with girls, there’s none of those expectations, you’re -- you’re just together, it’s more about the two of you than any preconceived notions. It’s more -- more free, I guess? At least in my opinion. That’s probably why I prefer girls ... although, you know, I guess that makes my opinion pretty biased.”

[brooklyn-reynolds]

Kiss me

[balletxbadass]

brooklyn-reynolds:

Brooklyn listened carefully to Astrid’s words, feeling bad that Astrid had gone through that stuff. She wasn’t going to make her suffer again. “Babe, I really have one line. As long as you don’t get grabby in intimate places, you’re good.” She smiled softly at Astrid’s next words. “And I don’t want to lose you either.” She gently rubbed Astrid’s shoulder for a short moment. “There’s nothing wrong with a bit of spooning, right? I mean….as long as you don’t snore and keep me awake all night while you sleep peacefully.” Brooklyn joked, playfully bumping her shoulder against Astrid’s. “And babe, you know I’m all-in for flirting and would definitely return the favor.” To prove her point, the blonde threw the other a wink. This night was supposed to be fun, like a sleep-over between two best friends. Except, they would sleep since there was a rehearsal the next day and they had to get their dressing rooms ready. “So, now that you know my line. What do you say about that cuddling?”

The actress crawled further upon the bed, still in her normal clothes, she could always change into her sleepshirt later. “What are you waiting for? Cuddle me!” She chuckled softly from her spot against the headboard. Brooklyn was glad that the mood between the two of them had lightened up. They could always talk to each other about serious matters and Brooklyn was glad that Astrid had told her about what had been bothering her. Yet, something still felt off. Probably on her own part. She had been the one who had stared at Astrid’s lips and had made the girl panic. She had no idea why she had done that. Maybe she had been too caught up in the moment. Maybe she was so desperate for love that Astrid seemed the right person in that moment. But Brooklyn was straight, she had never had feelings for a girl before and that would probably never happen. Her and Astrid were best friends. Being best friends came with rumors of being gay, especially when one of the two has a history with girls as well as boys. Brooklyn laughed about it, knowing very well that she and Astrid were nothing more than close friends. The people who saw more between them were wrong.

Astrid giggled, shaking her head. “Ain’t nothing wrong with a little cuddle sesh!” She sang out cheerfully. She was glad that the other was being so cool about all of this. it made it much easier for her to grab the comforter and fling it over the two of them, obligingly wrapping her arms around the other. Brooklyn was actually a little taller than her, which was unusual -- Astrid was pretty sure every girl she had ever dated had been shorter than her. But, still, it was in her instinct to take on the more “dominant” role, letting Brooklyn rest her head on her shoulder while Astrid sat propped up by pillows. Somehow, that was just what felt most comfortable.

“Girl, I could get used to this,” she said, light and teasing. “Better warn Raoul that he doesn’t get sole cuddle rights.” She really was just teasing, but there was an air of truth to it. If Brooklyn and Casper did start dating -- and it felt like only a matter of time; who wouldn’t want to date someone like Brooklyn? -- Brook would probably want to share a room with him. And that was totally cool, but she still hoped there would be time for sleepovers now and again. There was something very comforting about feeling the warmth of Brooklyn’s body next to her.

[brooklyn-reynolds]

Kiss me

[balletxbadass]

brooklyn-reynolds:

Blue eyes followed the dancer’s movements around the room. Astrid seemed nervous, like something was going on and when she spoke up, it all made sense. She was worried about Brooklyn. Worried that she was getting too physical for Brooklyn’s liking. “Babe,” she held both of Astrid’s hands in her own. “I know I can tell you anything and you should know that you can always tell me if I get too touchy feely or say things you don’t want to talk about.” She squeezed the other girl’s hands. “You know I’m a physical person. That I would much rather just cuddle up with someone instead of talking about what’s going on. And you’re the one who’s willing to give me exactly that in our friendship. We don’t have to talk about it. Sometimes a hug is enough.” Brooklyn let go of Astrid’s hands, leaning back on her hands instead as she looked at her friend. “And in the rare case that I don’t want to hug…trust me, you’ll notice. Don’t worry.” She assured her friend, flashing her a soft smile.

In a short period of time Astrid had grown to be her best friend, a person she could tell everything to. The person that could sense whenever she needed a tight hug or kind words from someone. Those hugs and sweet words had been happening more often lately. Brooklyn wasn’t sure why, it just all came natural. “I can be overwhelming at times and if I am and you need a break from me…just let me know, okay?” She said softly, sitting up straight on the bed, her feet swinging over the edge. The urge to hug Astrid was high, but right now Brooklyn was afraid to make the move. Maybe Astrid was giving her a silent hint that she didn’t want Brooklyn to cuddle with her or let alone hug her. “You know…if you want me to…” she nodded towards the small couch at the end of the room. “I can sleep on the couch, you can have the bed. You need to have a better rest anyway, since you have to dance and stuff.” She shrugged.

Astrid shook her head. “Babe, no! It’s not that I don’t want to! I’m always down for cuddles, seriously. It’s just, you know ...” She shook her head a little. It was stupid to think that Brooklyn was going to read anything more into this than just a friendly cuddling session. Which was great! Astrid didn’t want her to think of this as anything more, because that would cause a problem. “I guess I’m just not used to, well ... I’ve had a lot of straight girl friends, who I’d be all touchy with and they’d act like it’s fine. But then one day I’d cross this invisible line that I didn’t even know existed, you know? And then they’d stop talking to me, and I wouldn’t understand why, and then like months later I’d learn that I creeped them out and they thought I was flirting even though I didn’t realize I was, and, I don’t know. I guess I just worried that something like this ...” She gestured to the bed they sat on awkwardly. “Would be your line. And you’re my best friend, and I don’t want to lose you. But I’m being pretty stupid, aren’t I?”

She was being incredibly stupid. Brooklyn was her friend. She could trust Brooklyn. And it wasn’t fair for her to saddle all of this baggage on her, as if it was her problem. And maybe it was, just a little bit, the fact that she couldn’t stop thinking of the way Brooklyn’s eyes had darted to her lips that night. But that hadn’t meant anything. Just like the two of them sharing a bed didn’t have to mean anything. “I guess what I’m saying is ... I’m totally down to snuggle up in this bed with you. If, you know, I didn’t just make it weird, like a total dorkface.” She wrinkled her nose a little, trying to lighten the mood. She hadn’t meant to make things all heavy, anyways. It had just sort of happened.

[brooklyn-reynolds]

Kiss me

[balletxbadass]

brooklyn-reynolds:

After a bus ride that took longer than expected, Brooklyn was exhausted. The cast and crew had to pair up together for a hotel room so they could save some money. When everybody had gotten their keys and left to go to bed, Brooklyn and Astrid were the only ones still sitting in the lounge because apparently there was no double room left. “Why does this always happen to us?” The actress whined, throwing her head back against the leather chair she was sitting on. The words had only just left her mouth when someone came over with a key, saying that they had figured stuff out and got them a room. “Thank you! Lets go, babe!” Brooklyn was a little too excited to have a sleepover with her best friend. They had spent the bus ride next to each other for hours, but they couldn’t discuss the things that were happening between Casper and Stephanie since Casper was sitting behind them. Now that they would have some privacy, all things could be discussed.

Brooklyn made her way into the hotel room, dragging her suitcase behind her and placing it near the door before taking a few more steps inside the room. One thing immediately stood out. There was only one double bed. This while the director of the tour had specifically asked for two single beds, so there would be no weird things happening. “Looks like we’ll be getting our cuddle on tonight.” With a playful smirk she looked over at Astrid. The two of them hadn’t spoken about what almost happened at the after party. Brooklyn kept telling herself that she just got caught up in the moment and that it meant nothing serious. She tossed the key onto the small table near the end of the bed and hung her coat over a chair, stretching her arms over her head and falling face first onto the bed. The blonde let out a playful moan at how good it felt to be finally near a bed. “I could totally fall asleep like this, but I shouldn’t! We’ve got some cuddling to do first.” She turned around and sat up straight, undoing her shoelaces and kicking her shoes off.

There was something different between her and Brooklyn. It was impossible to pretend that there wasn’t. Ever since the afterparty, glances lingered a bit too long, hugs were a bit too tight. And as much as Astrid wanted to pretend that it wasn’t happening, she found herself seeking reasons to touch Brooklyn -- to latch onto her arm or to stroke her hair. It was fun, in a way, knowing that it wasn’t serious. And every time she tried to warn herself, This is how crushes on straight girls start, she just couldn’t muster up the will to be worried. Because it was Brooklyn. And no matter what, she didn’t think that Brooklyn would hurt her. She just couldn’t imagine a universe where it happened. In fact, she often worried that the girl was putting on an act, pretending to be more okay with the affection than she was, just to keep from hurting Astrid’s feelings.

So, when Brooklyn started talking about cuddling, Astrid had to force a grin. “Babe, you know I’m always up for a good cuddle sesh. But ...” She slipped out of her flats and flopped on the other side of the bed. “You’re great about us. And I love how open and accepting you are, like, seriously, you have no idea how happy it makes me. But I just want to make sure ... You know you don’t have to, right? That if anything I do ever makes you uncomfortable, you’re allowed to say so?” She pulled her hair out of the messy topknot she had it in, running her fingers through it self-consciously. “I just worry ... That sometimes I come on too strong, and that you feel like you’ll have to stay at my level or you’ll hurt my feelings. And that’s not true. You know?”