* ‎ ‎ ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑎 ‎ ‎ 𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑛𝑒.

alex is thankful for the moment of silence that settles between them. he needs it to gather his thoughts so he doesn’t sound like a stuttering mess next time he opens his mouth. still, he keeps glancing at her and smiling. he just can’t help it, not when she looks so soft and cozy. one look at her, dressed in his t-shirt and sweats, and all he wants to do is wrap his arms around her waist, bury his face in her curls and cuddle her. which is strange because he usually doesn’t get attached easily. if anything, he’s withdrawn and emotionally closed-off, so why is he acting like a smitten schoolboy and falling in love faster than ever? this girl is unlike anyone he’s ever met. she’s special, exquisite in every way possible. “yeah? alright, we have a plan then. it’s real cold out there. you’ll have to snatch one of my sweaters, too, i think,” he offers, setting his cup of coffee down but keeping his palms on it, warming them up. outside, snow’s beginning to fall again, little flurries dancing in the air, making the morning seem even more magical. “i’m glad we had the common sense to walk here last night instead of driving. we got the tattoos, at least we didn’t get a DUI as well.” gotta focus on the positives, he thinks.

“why, thank you. i have my moments, but i think you bring this side out of me.” blushing when she compliments him, calls him a cutie, he doesn’t want to push her away. he wishes they could spend all the mornings to come just like this. and still he hurts her feelings every time she peers deeper and deeper into his mind and heart. there’s a part of him that refuses to let her in, that’s afraid of rejection and heartbreak. “hey, you’re making me melt,” he laughs, gently grasping her wrist as she tickles the spot under his chin, squeezing affectionately before laying her hand back on the table. “thanks. i’ve got some experience. it’s usually not this much fun, though.” cooking for one person gets boring, is what he means. “you should come over more often now that you know where i live. stop by for dinner or lunch.” stay for breakfast. “i barely remember last night so it doesn’t count as a sleepover. we have to redo it sometime. hey, maybe next week we’ll get our ears pierced?” he jokes, watching curiously as she moves the plates around, only realizing what she’s doing once she picks up her phone. his heart could just burst, pride welling up deep inside his chest. no one’s ever made him feel so appreciated.

“ah, right, must have fallen out of a garbage truck or something,” he laughs, happy to play along. in fact, he’s so happy that he pulls the oldest trick out of them all and calls out. “oh! it’s a little dirty right here.” he reaches over the table and gently presses his finger to the collar of her shirt, trying to get her to look down so he can tap her nose and say gotcha! “yeah, really.” confirming in all seriousness, he even nods his head for emphasis. she really does look beautiful in his t-shirt and should just keep it. “don’t think i’ve ever seen you like this before.” not all dolled up but domestic, laid-back and soft and cuddly. he likes this look on her. “you’re very welcome, miss wayne. hope you like your yolk a little runny ‘cause that’s how i like mine so i thought…” he trails off, stunned by her beauty once more, letting her take this picture in peace. “hey, give it to me for a second. i want to show you how cute you look,” he asks once she’s done, reaching for her phone so he can take a picture of her.

“i'll have to snatch one of your sweaters, you think?” a little knowing smile plays on helena's lips. “okay, sweater boy. make me sweater girl.” little laugh sounds from her, it just caused a sense of happiness to hit her square in the chest because she's never had a boy to worry about how cold she is. it's such an intoxicating feeling. “just kidding, i'm already one. i'll just be a sweater dress girl now.” gesturing to the t-shirt of his she's wearing, the way the bottom touches her knees.

warm eyes glance to the window, contrasting the snow outside of it, getting lost in her thoughts for a moment before coming back to him, “i just broke up with my cheating boyfriend, i should be sad. but is it weird that i'm not?” helena thinks out loud, brows furrowing questionably at herself. “well, you're right. i can't have that on my record. a crazy tattoo sounds better than a tarnished record.” that made her less neurotic about the tattoo problem she still had to deal with, so she had to thank him for that one at least. what was she supposed to do? keep it? pretend it's not there? she bets the pain to get it off won't even be worth removing it.

“mhm, that's true.” saying quietly. moments. like last night, that's still vague but enough to remember she got really upset at him. which means he must be moody, maybe like her mom. she's watched her mom and dad's good and bad moments, a lot of those bad ones having a lot to do with her mom closing off and dad getting upset about it. and then there's been some moments where even her dad does it back unintentionally. even harry could be that way. so she's a little wary of that– if he's moody or not. smiling quietly at the way he puts her hand back down though, “good, melting is good. no one needs to be frozen.” saying vaguely, might have to do with her fore thoughts but it easily pertained to what he just said.

“of course, i don't see why not? i'll do it. thanks for the invite.” she'll just text him, make sure it's okay, and if it is then she supposes she'll head over. maybe. if she doesn't get frightened by the feeling in her chest growing tighter and tighter the more she looks at him. the picture on her phone probably wasn't a good idea either. “oh, okay. you want a turn.” amusingly speaking, sliding him her phone over. feeling a little bashful because why does he want a picture of the way she looks? she's sure it isn't that cute.

#4lexnilsen

on-the-sideblog

Rachel Zegler by Ssam Kim

#⎨ ₊˚ 🦇 ⎬ ── * 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙. ( musings. )

kosmogrl

b1rd1e

tmi doesn't exist to me. I love information

b1rd1e

This is what TMI means to me

#⎨ ₊˚ 🦇 ⎬ ── * 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙. ( musings. )

meowmorials

bentnbroken on Flickr (2009)

#⎨ ₊˚ 🦇 ⎬ ── * 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙. ( aesthetic. )

kaceyrps

RACHEL ZEGLER on INSTAGRAM

kaceyrps

RACHEL ZEGLER on INSTAGRAM

alex nilsen moves through the kitchen with the easy confidence of an experienced chef, cracking eggs one-handed, slicing avocados without casting as much as a glance at the knife, toasting bagels until they’re just the right shade of golden. back when he was a little boy, fixing breakfast for himself and his baby brothers was more of a chore than anything. at first, all he could make was a bowl of cereal. it had taken him some time to expand his skillset, learn how to make oatmeal and scrambled eggs and pancakes. his father was an incompetent man, could barely pour himself a cup of coffee without spilling, and as much as he loves that man, he can’t quite get past the fact that a ten year old was a better cook than an adult… anyway, now it’s not really a chore. he loves being in the kitchen, making food for the ones who are dear to him. he could fix breakfast for helena wayne every morning. but a girl like her would never… he cuts himself off, focusing on spreading the mashed avocado evenly on their crispy bagels, sprinkles some pepper and salts them by feel, then crowns each one with a perfectly set egg, yolks still tender because that’s how he likes it best and hopes she will, too.

he’s plating everything, setting two cups of coffee (black with a pinch of cinnamon for himself and a well-balanced one for her) on the spotless counter, when he hears footsteps approaching and can’t help the smile that blooms on his lips the second their eyes meet. “hi there,” he greets her, his heart stuttering because she looks so soft and dreamlike in his sweats and t-shirt. it will be one hell of a challenge, pretending they’re strangers nowthatshe’s slipped herself into his life like this. she looks awfully domestic. he marvels at her for a moment too long and something in him settles, deep and irreversible. this, he thinks, is what he’s been dreaming of all along. too scared to admit it even to himself. “your what? sorry, i —” he turns around swiftly, putting the pan in the sink while hiding the rosiness that overtakes his visage. he needs a moment to pull himself together. there’s just something so very special about a girl you really like wearing your clothes…

“i forgot all about that. we should check out where it’s parked and i’ll just drop you off there.” or walk her there if it’s close by. he circles around the counter to the small table by the window, sets their plates there and pulls out a chair for her. the view isn’t spectacular, and maybe it’s for the best, because even if it was the lake michigan itself out there, he wouldn’t be able to admire it, not with this beautiful girl sitting in front of him. “why, thank you.” lord, he’s blushing like a fucking schoolgirl just because she called his outfit tolerable. this is insanity. “i mastered the art of dressing myself in kindergarten and been doing fairly well ever since,” he laughs, figuring he should say something about her outfit but… who knows what might come out of his mouth now? “your t-shirt looks awfully familiar,” is all he says, bringing the cup of coffee to his lips to hide his smile. on a second thought, he quietly adds, “you should keep it, looks way better on you.”

eyes take in that look he's giving her, helena notices the smallest things, the way his gaze grows softer. she was expecting something indifferent, maybe disapproval? at her dressed up in his clothes and instead she's standing surprised, gauging him with this look on his face. and is he truly at a loss for words, too? why? it causes a shy smile to grace her features. she's suffering a major case of whiplash – just a few minutes ago he was being the kind of guy she's not into with those personality ticks he was throwing off & now here she is swooning at his cooking and being stared at that way. she doesn't remember harry looking at her like that. which reminds her... why is she even contemplating if alex is someone she's into, she can't be. it's just wrong and weird.

“wait, yeah, you can do that.” he can drop her off because she'd rather much do that than walk right now, since she still doesn't feel the best even thought she's feeling better. “thank you,” a happiness touches her voice at him pulling her chair out for her, more surprise lifting her brows, because he's acting a lot like the boy she liked in the beginning. “you really can be a cutie, alexander. when you're like this.” helena grins, tickling underneath his chin before sitting down. good god, she loves a gentleman.

“no, this is extra nice, don't downplay your talent.” that obviously he can possess on choosing outfits, when he wants to. when he looks so well dressed, putting up with his attitude is tolerable and the nice plate of food he made them makes her forget all about the attitude he was irking her with to begin with. there is nothing more attractive than a guy who can dress up and take control of the kitchen sometimes, instead of stand there acting clueless how to feed them unlike harry with his nonsense he had of not even understanding how to turn on a microwave. & then the act itself, it's so... oozing in attraction.

“oh, this? this is something i just found lying on the sidewalk somewhere.” she plays, glancing down at her shirt with a laugh. “really?” brows lift again, more surprise filling her tone. “me?” looks better on her? she nearly forgets the food exists in front of her – especially when it feels so nice while she's concealing how heartbroken she is over the reminder of harry and his treatment & eyes are lighting up once she comes back to earth, clapping and clasping her hands in a soar of excitement. “i already know i'm going to love it, thank you chef alex. this looks very gourmet and delicious... wait! i shall document this moment forever before we mess it all up,” scooting his plate over, she waits for him to sit too so she can fish for her phone out of his sweatpant's pocket and excitedly snaps a candid picture.

#4lexnilsen

“twist the narrative? oh, come on, you can just admit you have a crush on me. the kind of crush that had you crawling into my bed last night. you snuggled me, all on your own,” the blond teases, looking her up and down. it amuses him how shy she is, how she’s trying to cover herself up even though she’s still wearing her undergarments. has she never been to a public beach? how’s lingerie any different from a bikini? it doesn’t phase him one bit, and he’s the one who grew up in an ultra-religious household. ignoring her comments about the highly unhygienic tattoo parlor, that’s the part that bothers him the most. after all, dirty needles can transmit diseases such as HIV or hepatitis or tetanus… he gets chills just thinking about it. “perverted mind? hey, you’re the one thinking about the size of my penis so…” he points out, laughing because she’s so easily annoyed.

“yeah, well, you didn’t give me room for explanation.” besides, he did say that she could join him. she’s the one who turned down the offer. “oh, great, just don’t tell him that you spent the night at my place. he’ll hate me even more than he already does.” there’s no denying that ace is a very smart dog, smarter than most humans if he’s being honest. he’s very protective of helena and wary of alex so if he learns she ditched his fury companion for a man… the last thing he needs in his life is a jealous german shepherd. “i’ll drop you off.” on his way to the library. “oh, and i’m finishing up around seven if you want to get another tattoo?” he jokingly suggests, rolling his eyes. “you’re suppressing these feelings now but… you’ll come around.” he walks out of the room, making kissy sounds just to push her buttons some more.

“no reason at all, just feel like i’ve tormented you enough for one morning. and nah, you’re not allergic to me. the word you’re looking for is… addicted. addicted to me.” laughing, their voices carry easily through the thin wall. “a well-balanced coffee, can do,” he muses, shaking his head at how detailed her answer is. most people would simply reply with something like black or with cream and two sugars. he won’t admit it out loud but he finds helena’s personality even more attractive than her looks, which might be hard to believe since she’s the most beautiful girl in the world but it is true. he likes her sense of humor and how eloquent she is, how witty. shaking his head, trying to focus on picking his clothes for the day rather than daydreaming, he ends up going with black dress pants, leather loafers, and a thick, warm sweater in a rich, caramel tone. all paired with a tweed jacket that he’ll slip into later on. he rolls up the sleeves of his sweater and clasps an old-fashioned watch onto his left wrist. giving helena some much needed privacy, he heads to the kitchen to fix them each an avocado and egg bagel, and some well-balanced coffee. that still makes him laugh to himself.

#4lexnilsen #ty i love ur giffy too <3 dnskk its so cute too #and me too!! the banter is everything #LOL she is *and the woman was too stunned to speak* meme

staring at him in disbelief, doe eyes narrow before features crease and then nothing else but amusement can spill up as a laugh involuntarily erupts, “oh, you are so full of it...” it's really just funny, purely funny at this point before helena points a finger & cocks her head, “so full of it i'm beginning to think you like me.” a smirk tugs at her lips, he's acting just like a case of: boys like to bully when they like a girl super well. she doesn't agree with that stupid logic, but apparently there's some twisted truth to it. “EWW, alex.” shutting him out with that loud protest of disgust and embarrassment, she doesn't want to think about his autonomy, then she'd be the weird pervert. that's so disrespectful and weird, right? it's weird. “you're so arrogant, nilsen. it'd probably kill you to gain an ounce of modesty.” saying behind the door, finally moving over to undress and slip into the shower after piling her hair up on top of her head since she just washed it yesterday and she figures she can wash out the hint of bar smell later tonight when she has time to tend to it.

finally after washing all the filth off her skin, she turns the water back off and finds a towel to dry off on then moves over to the mirror to fix herself with the makeup in her purse she grabs from his room and lets her dark waves fall back down. once she's back in session looking like a decent person again, teeth cleaned from the vomit, skin clean, presentable with mascara, blush & red lipstick that match her cherry nails– she arrives in the kitchen in alex's sweat pants and a soft t-shirt she stole.

“what about my car? i still have to find it off my iphone, too.” helena reminds after she creeps up behind him on silent feet, the thing she kept on her mind to tell him after he said he'd drop her off. though, she didn't expect whatever her eyes lands on now once her gaze finds him... a well dressed man and even the watch she notices on his wrist, barely anyone wears watches anymore, & she can't help but appreciate that fact about him and just how... ugh, dare she say? handsome he looks wearing it. while COOKING. “wow...” the wayne girl, speechless. “when you're dressed so nice, you actually look so tolerable.” or more like, she wants to tolerate him when he looks that attractive in a nice outfit, a dressed up man is always the way to her heart THEN adding the cooking and she's just a weakened wreck. helena doesn't let all of that slip, though. but she does compliment without letting him gain too much ego, surprise all over her face as she slowly sinks down in a chair. admiring how nice he looks is undeniable so she may as well discreetly admit it. plus, he deserves to know that too, she's stubborn & grudgy but she's not mean.

fxrvernxw

“ah, it’s getting serious but we’re just two strangers, makes sense,” the blond teases, wrapping one towel around his hips so she can stop making a scene and using the other to dry his curls, stifling a smirk that’s beginning to form at the corner of his lips. amusement bright in his eyes. “we woke up in the same bed, aren’t things already domestic?” he can’t help but chuckle, finding some serious pleasure in the idea that he’s annoying her. “oh, come on, helena… you were kind of asking for it. you brought up the subject of hard things first. can’t expect me to miss an opportunity like that.” he won’t admit it out loud but he really likes the sound of her laugh, almost as much as he likes the sight of her flushed cheeks and furrowed brows — she looks so cute when she’s annoyed with him! he only rolls his eyes when she makes the comment, implying he’s small. “trying to rile me up, huh? too bad i’m not insecure enough to fall for this, but nice try.” he gently taps her nose, mouthing boop before laughing and turning back around to put deodorant under his arms and pat some cologne into his skin.

“no, i’m not trying to make you feel bad, just explaining why i’m kind of in a rush and pointing out why you don’t have to be,” he sighs, realizing he might have sounded a little too harsh, contemplating whether he owes her an apology and deciding against it. it would make her ego skyrocket. “alright, fine, fine…” throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation, he can’t really argue with the point she’s making so he simply ignores it and changes the subject. “you can shower now. i’ll go get dressed and fix us some breakfast.” he isn’t really hungry, not with his head still throbbing and the taste of alcohol lingering on his tongue regardless of how thoroughly he’s brushed his teeth, but advil shouldn’t be taken on an empty stomach. “keep telling yourself that. you got it tattooed because you have a big, fat crush on me, stranger,” he teases with a laugh, trailing to the door. he wants to give her the privacy that she’s so desperately fought for and so he doesn’t turn around while adding, “you allergic to anything? eggs? avocado? and how you like your coffee?”

#⎨ ₊˚ 🦇 ⎬ ── * 𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐘 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐄 .ᐟ ( vis. )

“absolutely not. no matter how many times you try to twist the narrative, when it was you who got us intoxicated, into some probably highly unhygienic tattoo parlor then it was probably your idea i sleep there just like all the above.” helena grumbles, crossing her arms and folding her leg over the other as she leans her back against the cold wall, feeling weird and out of place standing in just her undergarments around a boy. “it still doesn't excuse your perverted mind.” swatting his hand like an annoyed cat at his BOOP, “are you certain? perhaps you're lying, perhaps it's really eating you up inside. since you're so good at hiding things.”

“oh. well, then you could HAVE said that. you didn't have to be so rude and put me out in the cold.” saying with irritation still stinging her voice, even though now there is some logic in it but still. “but it's not as if i don't have places to be– i have to get home to ace. he needs a proper bathroom break, watered, fed, confirmation i haven't just abandoned him.” knowing her overly dramatic and sensitive german shepherd, he will think that and start worrying himself sick. ace is like a human wrapped in fur and pointy ears, plus they're always connected at the hip. “in your dreams, right?” since he apparently wants it to be a reality for himself so desperately.

“...why? are you trying to poison me now? what's the gimmick– why are you suddenly being so nice...” eyeing him skeptically, well his back, as eyes look him up and down. unwillingly to admit the muscles are disgustingly attractive. “i'm looking at the only allergen.” helena plays, “eggs and avocado are amazing. and i like my coffee iced or hot, i'm not really choosy with temperature unless it's summer then it's always iced. a splash of heavy cream and a little bit of sweetness so it's all well rounded. not too strong, not too sweet, a balance.” she informs, finally leaning up from the wall to push the door closed.

#4lexnilsen #LLOLLL

cherylblossom

RACHEL ZEGLER for New York Magazine's ‘The Culturati 50’ (2025)

“ah, when her love language is torture! this right here is proof of my undying love for you. deftones out of all bands... the ultimate sacrifice.”

#LOLLLLLLL laughing at this jkdjkdkdsdk #4lexnilsen

"i wasn't doing it on purpose, just to get that clear because i'm not that sadistic. but– i still openly claim to enjoy you were having a panic attack without me in your life. i can't believe it, though... you wearing a deftones hoodie AND taking me to the concert? ...you really are in love with me."

“oh, alexander? getting serious now, are we?” the blond laughs, shaking his head and sending droplets of water flying across the bathroom. it’s been a while since she called him alexander and it makes his heart flutter in a strange way. “hey, that’s domestic abuse, you know?” rubbing the top of his head that now feels a little tender, he retaliates, sacrifices his washcloth and throws it at her, aiming for her face. “remind me why are you still here? staring? lingering in hopes of catching a glimpse of other hard things?” making crude remarks on purpose, just trying to get her to leave. besides, it’s kind of amusing, watching her face turn bright red. “what’s this smell? new perfume you’re wearing? jealousy by helena wayne?” he teases, using his hands to wash the rest of his body now that his washcloth’s gone. he doesn’t think he’s been boasting about his experiences with women, he’s not that kind of person. maybe he did sound a bit arrogant but there’s a fine line between arrogance and honesty sometimes. “sorry i don’t want to be late for work. not all of us can live off of a trust fund, yeah?” losing all hope that she’ll ever hand him the shampoo that’s now on the floor beside the toilet, he unceremoniously walks out of the shower, shivering and leaving puddles of water around his feet, to retrieve it.

“is that what you really think of us? so you got my initials tattooed because i’m a complete stranger, hm? makes sense.” huffing, he returns to the shower and stands under the warm stream. he squeezes a generous amount of shampoo onto the palm of his hand and massages it into his scalp, squeezing his eyes shut and tilting his head. “i would’ve been done with it by now if you just left and waited your turn.” he won’t say it out loud but he’s glad she won’t put him in a chokehold and drag him out the bathroom because they both know she’s very much capable of that. “it didn’t offend me, alright?” he grumbles, rinsing the remaining shampoo from his blond curls. oh, but it did offend him. mostly because he’s not indifferent toward her, because she’s more than just a stranger to him. he can’t quite explain what he’s feeling yet, but it’s something other than a crush, and it’s not hatred either. he gets mean and tries to push her away because he thinks she deserves better, because he doesn’t want to be straight up rejected, because these feelings he has for her terrify and confuse him. “i just think it’s ridiculous,” he admits, shutting the water off and reaching for the towel, stepping out of the shower, “insisting that we’re nothing but strangers when you got my initials tattooed and stayed the night.”