Ask Casino World

Ask Casino World, a battenna centred roleswap au by @Arkos404 Asks are: OPEN

[battennaswap]

so unhelpful

ASK: wait but i thought that cat guy from before was friend?? are you also him?? like some alternate personality or something???? (/ref) ASK: Friend can split into two? How does that work…. ASK: so... friend is, multiple?

Friend: That's right! Now you got it!

Battat: Haha, yeah these guys are not gonna be any help. Let me explain everything…

Battat: So they may look different, act different, talk different, be TWO instead of ONE, but thats still the same old friend. you got it? yeah? good

Battat: Seriously though… youve never been two for these meetings before. Whats up?

…

Friend: We just didnt feel very cat-like today

[battennaswap]

everyone makes that mistake the first time, dont worry about it

ASK: um… who are those guys?

Battat: Psht, isnt it obvious? that's -

Friend: Oh my! You dont know who we are? Even though we have already met so many times before? That cant be right!

Friend: Have we perhaps not formally introduced ourselves? I believe so… it must've slipped our minds. Our reputation does precedes us around these parts. Well,

Friend: No time like the present!

Friend: We're FRIEND!

[battennaswap]

creep...

ASK: To battat, does battat ever find (cat)friend a little creepy?

BATTAT: A little creepy? that guy is a FREAKSHOW! he's always… looming everyone with a permanent cheshire cat grin, appearing and dissapearing on a whim, spouting cryptid crap and refusing to elaborate… he's just the worst! but thats part of the appeal, isnt it … what do you two think? …i thought youd say that

[battennaswap]

apologize...

ASK: hey mr. battat! would you ever, uh, consider apologizing and being nicer to your employees? that tv guy (tenna) was just doing what you asked him to do…

ASK: Battat, why were you so rude to Tenna? When you were berating him, what was the purpose of doing that?

BATTAT: are you serious? what you people dont get is that if i let dumb mistakes like that slide my employees will just get lazier and dumber! im HELPING them! Besides, it was his fault anyway. i TOLD THEM the office was off limites for the day, and he just interrupted anyway.

FRIEND: no you didnt

BATTAT: what? FRIEND: you didnt announce that the office would be closed for the day

BATTAT: yes i did! i even wrote it down so i could remember to tell you to announce- okay i see what happened well- that just makes this whole ordeal your fault for being late in the first place! now wipe that smug smile off your face and get me some coffee!

[battennaswap]

the rubiks cube is probably like... a dancefloor or a strip club

BATTAT: Huh? puzzles? is this about the other ask? you know i was just talking about-

listen, we dont- we dont do that. games and puzzles dont work the same for us as it does for lightners.

we are the pieces in a puzzle, so to speak. we cant play by ourselves. and the lightners havent...

anyway if i had to pick a LEAST favorite, itd be definitedly be jigsaw puzzles. those guys are sleezeballs

[battennaswap]

Hello, I wanted to ask if I could dub some of your comics! I really like this AU, although I'm not much of a voice actor and my motivation can be unpredictable, so I'm asking anonymously in case I don't finish it lol

Just want to make sure it was okay with you if I do! :]

yeah ofc! send me a link if you do do it, no pressure tho, i understand how motivation/energy/time can put projects on (indefinite) hold lol

[battennaswap]

pet

ASK: so you like being pet, friend? y'know, like scritches under the chin…. a stroke of the fur….. ASK: hey friend! does mr. battat pet you like a cat? if not, he totally should!

FRIEND: HAHA! sorry to dissapoint you folks, but i employ a strict look but dont touch policy! may i remind you, im the HOST! not the CAT! im a FRIEND! not a PET! BATTAT, muttering: grumble… pets can be friends….. grumble

[battennaswap]

questions Friend wont answer

ASK: to friend, not to be rude, but why is your head so…. boxy? Square? cube shaped? FRIEND: …what an odd question

ASK: why is friend suspiciously TV-shaped BINGO: another one, lets see it. BINGO: why is friend suspiciously TV-shaped…? BINGO: tv shaped? FRIEND: vetoed.

[battennaswap]

Battat, Friend, what are your opinions on tenna?

no strong opinions, they dont even know the guy...

(immediatedly after battat berated ant) BINGO AND GM, thinking: damn this guy sucks BINGO: um… okay, anyway, we have another ask: battat, friend, what are your opinions on tenna?

BATTAT: i have no idea who that is KNOCK KNOCK BATTAT: oh rune, not again. it better not be another idiot- FRIEND: hello! BATTAT: oh. friend. FRIEND: dont look so sour boss! you missed me too much? im only a couple minutes late BATTAT: 16 is not a couple! …not that i noticed. BATTAT: what were you doing anyway? giving away more of my booze?

FRIEND: haha, not at all! i bumped into ant, he asked me to give you these reports. that you requested. BATTAT: oh. FRIEND: i was also having some problems with the coffee machine. but i figured it out! BATTAT: ooooh. BINGO: um… mr battat? the ask? BATTAT: huh? oh, right. about tenna. BATTAT: what is he, some ribbick that works five floors down from us? i have no idea who that is. i employ half the darkworld, how am i meant to remember all my employees names? friend, you know who this guy is?

FRIEND: tenna is ant's last name. the surveillance operator BATTAT: …okay so apparently smiles over here does know the name of every employee. first and last. weirdo BATTAT: anywho, i actually do know this one. he's… okay. does his job well enough, nothing too offensive. jittery guy. man this coffee is good BATTAT: what about you smiles, any thoughts? FRIEND: …ant works both as a TV host and as a security guard. he doesnt visit the casino as a guest often. keeps to himself. BATTAT: thats not your opinion, youre just stating facts! BATTAT: welp, you heard the cat. we dont have a strnog opinion on every single whats-his-face. you wanna know more about the guy? go talk to him yourselves

[battennaswap]

Hey Battat!

How does it feel having such a strong, cool, and reliable Friend to help you out?

battat gets cranky without his... coffee

ASK: Hey Battat! how does it feel having such a strong, cool, and reliable Friend to help you out?

BATTAT: wait. wait wait wait wait. hold up. lets get this right first of all: he's not cool second of all: he's not stro- okay i guess he is strong. but he's massive! being strong is the bare minimum third of all: HE IS NOT RELIABLE! do you see him here? NO. its just me and a big friend sized EMPTY SPACE! what kind of darkworld boss doesnt have a single friend by their side?! insane! as of now he's FIFTEEN MINUTES LATE! what if there was an emergency?! what if i wanted a coffee?! what could he possibly be doing thats more important than his JOB?! how am i supposed to know he didnt just up and DISSAPEA-

BATTAT: huh? someone's coming in. is it him? ANT: um… mr battat? i brought the- BATTAT: oh. its not. HEY BLOCKHEAD! cant you see im in the middle of something?! BATTAT: this had BETTER be an emergency! ANT: w-what? n-no, its just the lightworld reports you ask- BATTAT: WHOYOU THINK YOU ARE ANYWAY?! BARGING IN HERE?! I TOLD YOU LOT the office is CLOSED TODAY- ANT: what? when? BATTAT: NOT LIKE ANYONE EVER LISTENS TO ME! NOT LIKE I SIGN YOUR PAYCHECKS OR ANYTHING! ANT: SORRY! sorry im. yeah. leaving. i'll just bring these later! its fine. its- yeah, sorry for the disturbance. sorry. haha

BATTAT: i guess compared to the average idiot i employ, friend is acceptable

[battennaswap]

lightning round!!

ASK: battat, do you not like when friend flips his frown upside down? BATTAT: its "flipping his smile upside down." and NO. it looks stupid but also off putting and- dont listen to whatever that damn cat says i only found it funny the first time! (he still thinks its funny)

ASK: which characters are open to questions? GM: anyone thats been previously introduced! (there are some exceptions) BINGO: the blog is a project personally approved by battat & friend, so they just demand everyone cooperate (theyre the employees running the blog) (not cannon)

ASK: battat is so hot omg he could make an addict out of me any day of the week 🥰🥰🥰🥰 the eyebags and stress compel me BATTAT: THIS ONE ISNT EVEN A QUESTION! whats it doing here?! (bingo and gm got in trouble later)

ASK: i thought the casino owner would be…. taller than that…. BATTAT: eh?! you making fun of me?! do you have any idea who i am?! ill make you PAY! ive got CONNECTIONS! ive got FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES! BATTAT: …but the friend is just that guy over there. FRIEND: hi! BATTAT: hey friend

[battennaswap]

Hi Mr. Battat! Do you ever smile? …And does Friend ever not smile?

me when i lie

ASK: Hi Mr. Battat! Do you ever smile? …And does Friend ever not smile?

BATTAT: sometimes friend will… "turn his smile upside down" by spinning it

FRIEND: Mr. battat always has a big smile when he's reviewing the casino's weekly profit!

[battennaswap]

To Battat

Do you have any hobbies or interests you indulge in outside of running the casino? Or is it more of a full time job? I mean, I assume you have at least a few employees youd trust to manage the casino for a bit if you ever felt like taking time off.

he has one interest

ASK: To Battat. Do you have any hobbies or interests you indulge in outside of running the casino? Or is it more of a full time job? I mean, I assume you have at least a few employees youd trust to manage the casino for a bit if you ever felt like taking time off.

BATTAT: Interests…

FRIEND: Mr. battat's schedule is inconsistent. He works until the job is done, which can eat into his break time. But when he does rest, the casino is able to survive on its own until he's back.

BATTAT: Hey, smiles. are you battat? theyre talking to me FRIEND: haha! my apologies BATTAT: you dont sound apologetic 💢

BATTAT: Lets see… its difficult to have hobbies on a schedule like mine. Generally if im not sleeping, working or smoking im… well… BATTAT: i suppose i enjoy… solving puzzles

[battennaswap]

Where's Jongler and Pluey?? What are they doing around here??

The ones everyone has been waiting for... wait, these guys?

ASK: Where's Jongler and Pluey?? What are they doing around here??

JONGLER: Um, hi. We'se on da break room. Having ours lunch break

[battennaswap]

Are there lots of pippins there? Are they mostly gamblers or are they employees? Apart from the boss and/or his relatives

A bit on the workers (and the boss) of the Bet Palace

ASK: Are there lots of pippins there? Are they mostly gamblers or are they employees? Apart from the boss and/or his relatives

Battat: Yes, pippins make up a large portion of the total darkners. As to your other question, they're both. One needs money to gamble with, after all. That applies to… almost everyone. All of casino world's citizens are gamblers. That goes double for Bet Palace's employees The casino is the biggest employer this side of the Dark World. Most of the folks work, have worked or will work khere. The casino is, of course, open 24/7. The employees work in shifts. That way, everyone has their shot at playing. Darkners work for money, spend it on the casino, then work to pay off any debts they have have accrued… if they can resist betting it all and 10x their earnings, of course. After all, you only need to get lucky once. Pretty nifty, huh? The system feeds itself! Piece of cake to run, right? NOT AT ALL. Every day theres a new fire to put out. Managing these idiots is a thankless job, but somebody has got to do it

[battennaswap]

(to FRIEND)

so does mr. battat not show his face much? sounds like you play the starring role

friend is another cog in the machine, while battat is the engine

ASK: (to FRIEND) so does mr. battat not show his face much? sounds like you play the starring role

FRIEND: The starring role? Oh, youre too kind! But its not like that at all. Mr. Battat might not regularly make an appearance on the casino's floor, seeing as he does most of his work from the comfort of the upper floor's office, but i guarantee he's the star of the show! he does it all! from disciplining employees to rewarding winners. His name is on every wall… on worker's paychecks and on player's debt settlements agreements. You cant escape him. This is his world, and his influence trickles down to everyone regardless of rank. Although i definitedly have my own fair share of duties, im but an assistant who aids him in making the magic happen.

[battennaswap]

the show is back on the road

FRIEND: Hello cherished employees! im sure youve been working tirelessly, and i noticed a lack of questions sent my way, so i decided to drop in and offer assistance in managing your fun little project-

Gm, typing: "We, at the blog management HQ, formally apologize for the hiatus. We are proud to announce that the show is back on and the blog will be back to being updated regularly. Thank you for the patience"