Adventures of an Amateur Ace Detective

Your name is JANE CROCKER and you’re going to be the world’s best PRIVATE EYE. Or perhaps the world’s best COMEDIENNE specializing in character and situational comedy. You might even become the world’s best CONCERT PIANIST. Or maybe you will take over the family business and be the world’s best BATTERWITCH. Wait, no, the batterwitch is certainly not real. She is a ridiculous story told by your friends and, much like tales of CRYPTOZOOLOGY, totally FAKE. Well, you’re certainly going to be the WORLD’S BEST something. Your friends and family completely support you and all of your dreams. Your dad is especially proud of you, even when pursuing your dreams PUTS YOUR LIFE AT RISK, which it does quite often. But that’s really nothing to worry about, you’ve gotten used to dodging the assassination attempts.

[timaeustechnocrat]

My only real association with April Fools is the fact that for whatever reason my Bro used to get super fucking quiet that day and he never explained why. Like, not normal Bro “Fuck off, I’m working” quiet, but something almost sad, I guess. I never really thought about it at the time because I figured it was just another one of his ironic things I was too young to grasp, but in retrospect it was a little weird.

Needless to say, there were no funny pranks, ever.

[battersleuth-blog]

I cannot even begin to imagine April Fool's Day without funny pranks!

Gosh, Dirk, I think this is the saddest story you have ever told about your Bro.

:(

I'm sorry, I would have mailed you something deceptively innocent and yet explosive, if I'd known.

[timaeustechnocrat]

I apologize for depriving everyone of my completely melodious voice today, but my throat is killing me.

[battersleuth-blog]

Oh no! You keep staying in bed and now you have a sore throat. Dirk, you should really go to a doctor, I think you’re getting sick. :(

[timaeustechnocrat]

I know it probably looks that way, but I’m feeling fine, sore throat not withstanding. I’m definitely not sick, but I appreciate the concern, Jane.

[battersleuth-blog]

Fine, but just you wait and see. You're going to get the flu or something else gross and highly contagious with an attitude like that.

Don't expect me to send you soup when that happens!

[timaeustechnocrat]

I apologize for depriving everyone of my completely melodious voice today, but my throat is killing me.

[battersleuth-blog]

Oh no! You keep staying in bed and now you have a sore throat. Dirk, you should really go to a doctor, I think you're getting sick. :(

[cestblanche-blog]

battersleuth started following you

bonjour et enchantée! c:

[battersleuth-blog]

I'm sorry, I don't speak French.

But bonjour to you, too!

[timaeustechnocrat]

The Hunger Games: Thoughts

So I finished The Hunger Games on the bus ride to and from Santa Monica with Noiz - Which was fucking awesome, by the way.

Here are my thoughts.

Cutting this, even my totally accurate re-do of the cover, because I don’t want to spoil people. Don’t say I never did anything for you.

Read More

[battersleuth-blog]

I haven't read it, but I'm sure it will be much more... interesting with your edits and additions!

Though your body of work does suggest that in the end you will have dystopian totalitarianism conquering love, I wonder if your recent endeavors will change that.

Just imagine it: Dirk Strider, starry-eyed romantic.

[adamantmercenary-blog]

No no no don’t worry at all. It’s cheering to see someone so like her in good spirits!

[battersleuth-blog]

Well, I try! Not every day is this great, but nothing has blown up and my friends are acting pretty normal — for them.

Am I like her in other ways? That would be weird, but I guess I don’t know much about my family outside the Crockers.

[adamantmercenary-blog]

She very much liked to bake and she played a mean druid in our dungeons and dragons games, and she noticed things not everyone else did. That was probably owing to her love of mysteries and such. You have a similar manner of speech as well!

[battersleuth-blog]

Well, I do love baking and a good mystery!

Not to be narcissistic, but she sounds like she was a really excellent person. I'm not as interested in games as some of my friends, but I do enjoy them. I especially like the ones we can play together, though we've never played Dungeons and Dragons.

[allesfit-deactivated20130731]

Heaven and Earth intermarried: Nemophila Harmony at Hitachi Park, Japan

Source and more photos

[battersleuth-blog]

What a beautiful blue!

[adamantmercenary-blog]

You look like a good friend of mine. Unfortunately shes no longer with us i am regretful to say.

[battersleuth-blog]

Oh! I’m sorry! :( 

I didn’t mean to bring up something like that, I was just curious because you’re the first of two people to say I look like someone they knew.

[adamantmercenary-blog]

No no no don’t worry at all. It’s cheering to see someone so like her in good spirits!

[battersleuth-blog]

Well, I try! Not every day is this great, but nothing has blown up and my friends are acting pretty normal — for them.

Am I like her in other ways? That would be weird, but I guess I don't know much about my family outside the Crockers.

[adamantmercenary-blog]

Jane. That is a good name.

… Quite sorry i almost forgot to give you mine! Joel roland harley quite at your service.

[battersleuth-blog]

Thank you! You’re very dashing, or at least your manners are.

Do you mind me asking who you think I look like?

[adamantmercenary-blog]

You look like a good friend of mine. Unfortunately shes no longer with us i am regretful to say.

[battersleuth-blog]

Oh! I'm sorry! :( 

I didn't mean to bring up something like that, I was just curious because you're the first of two people to say I look like someone they knew.

[battersleuth-blog]

There is an unofficial holiday devoted to cupcakes and a specific sex act.

I just don't know what to say about that, but I thought it deserved a blog post all the same. Apparently it's a response to another unofficial holiday devoted to steak and another sex act?

I guess my only response is wondering why either of these things is totally necessary. To be honest, it's a little bit gross! I don't really think it would a good idea to combine food and oral sex. Wouldn't it be counter intuitive, not to mention repulsive??

Should I put this entry under a cut? I wouldn't want my dad to see it! Dad, please, please don't read my blog!!

[adamantmercenary-blog]

…

Pardon my saying but i believe you look like someone i knew! That… That is quite strange.

[battersleuth-blog]

That is really unusual, but I don’t mind you saying it!

I’m Jane, it’s a pleasure to meet you.

[adamantmercenary-blog]

Jane. That is a good name.

… Quite sorry i almost forgot to give you mine! Joel roland harley quite at your service.

[battersleuth-blog]

Thank you! You're very dashing, or at least your manners are.

Do you mind me asking who you think I look like?

[battersleuth-blog]

I've never worked with Nutella before, so I thought I would do something simple. I use a plain table knife to frost cakes with buttercream frosting and other soft frostings and I use the same kind of knife to put butter and other things on bread, so I thought a table knife would work well to frost the brownies. The Nutella was very sticky, but it melted on the brownies (fresh out of the oven!) and it was very easy to frost. I was a little over-cautious though, since the pan was very, very hot.

A tip I always use for brownies is to cut them with a plastic knife when they are still hot, because that's when they are at their softest. It will be very easy to get these out of the pan when they cool!

Who wants some?

[battersleuth-blog]

I'm baking while I do other chores. :B

I'm also taking pictures this time, so I'll be able to show you all my Nutella-frosted brownies when they are done.

[brazenbiochemist-blog]

battersleuth started following you

…oh whoa, hey.

HA HA WOW, you look familiar—-wrong person though, yeah. Sorry. What’s your name?

[battersleuth-blog]

Hi!

You're actually the second person who's said that recently. How weird, right?

Anyway, it's nice to meet you, ma'am. My name's Jane.

[battersleuth-blog]

adamantmercenary started following you

Hi! Thank you for following me.

[adamantmercenary-blog]

…

Pardon my saying but i believe you look like someone i knew! That… That is quite strange.

[battersleuth-blog]

That is really unusual, but I don't mind you saying it!

I'm Jane, it's a pleasure to meet you.

[battersleuth-blog]

adamantmercenary started following you

Hi! Thank you for following me.

[sherlockdame]

I’ve discovered how much fun Photoshop and the pen/fill tool can be, took me long enough to figure out how to use it XD

I wanted to try something a little different making these guys, I’ve also made Problem Sleuth and I’m working on Nervous Broad. I’ll be posting PS in a minute!