Bearded Cat

19

[bearded-cat]

I want someone to put their hand inside of my chest and pump the blood manually

[bearded-cat]

Someone just told me that the shape of my face is really pretty and i will never forget it

[bearded-cat]

So... because of my hypothyroidism i gained a lot of weight in little time (17 kg) and so my skin got stretch marks. I dont mind the ones at my hips that much because i have had some in that zone since 14, and the ones in my stomach, even though have been weird gettung used to, i can hide. But i’ve got stretxh marks in my arms, and every time i look in the mirror i see them, i cant hide them, and they are big af. Idk, they just make me sad, its like a constant reminder of the ammount of weight i gained and it makes me feel shitty, like i did something bad to myself.

I just needed to vent.

[bearded-cat]

i want to be happy but i also dont want to stop being sad

[bearded-cat]

I started taking prozac and euthyrox recently and getting out of bed has gotten so much easier

[bearded-cat]

idk what it is but season 3, episode 6 of please like me might just be my favourite one

[gothicprep]

why is your cat green?

She’s built different 😌

[gothicprep]

Look i tried to laugh it off, but I haven’t stopped thinking about this message because… my cat literally isn’t green

like where is the green

[gothicprep]

Oh Christ

[sapropel]

This is the color your cat is

[lazygravez]

colors i eyedropped directly from op's cat

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

I drew a tree using only colours eyedropped from OP's cat.

[karakats]

every time i see this post all i see is some green alien kitty with antennae so i had to draw it

[bogleech]

I originally thought those were supposed to be mushrooms, implying that this cat is moldy

[tanuki-pyon]

Moldy forest cat

[will-o-the-witch]

New cryptid just dropped

[bearded-cat]

Anyone else wish they had some secret life twist? Or is my life just too boring?

[bearded-cat]

Actual thing that just happened:

Me:

Coffee Maker: **noise**

Me: shit, you scared me

Coffee Maker: **softer noise**

Me: stop it

Coffee Maker:

Me: thanks love

Im so lonely im having conversations with my coffee maker.

[kaijuno]

Wait this is funny

[red-faced-wolf-deactivated20251]

This humor is so fucking advanced yet so fucking simple at the same time

[bearded-cat]

I was sad, so i took a deep breath in, and then the room started to move. There’s an earthquake. Do i have powers?

[bearded-cat]

You think you respect artists until you want to be one and then suddenly you feel like a failure.

[alisonzai]

video series

[anxietyproblem]

[bearded-cat]

i recently came to the realisation that i might have a food addiction and now a lot of my old posts are less comedic

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Opinion on clowns?

they’re pretty problematic as exotic pets, plus they do a lot of damage to local ecosystems if allowed to escape

[jumbiewumbie]

and they taste weird

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

they’re naturally toxic. clowns meat is not safe to eat unless prepared by a professional, and even then it’s more of a novelty food. some cultures consider it a delicacy but i can’t ethically endorse that

[biggest-goldiest-fish]

Y'all. Clowns are used as decor. WHY ARE YALL EATING CLOWNS

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

yeah as taxidermied decor. that doesn’t mean you can’t eat the meat

[askthedevicer]

someone came into my restaurant with a clown once claimed it was a service animal. I dont know what service it provided, and my manager wasn’t willing to go over and confirm

it just stood there. staring. smiling.

[haunted-by-a-trickster-deactiva]

Please, if you an interest in clowns, donate to help them, don’t try to raise them yourself, and don’t support breeders.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

sometimes i think Hannibal is the most unlikely synopsis to ever make it through production. “we’re going to explore the early years of a pop culturally infamous serial killer from a established franchise of books & film, but we're re-imagining him as the romantic anti-hero of a gothic narrative in a lush, hedonist modern setting."

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"we will explore his character through long philosophical conversations about the nature of humanity and violence, invest heavily in lavish symbolism-laden dream sequences, and portray gore and cannibalism as stunning works of art, captured by the most exquisite cinematography you have ever witnessed."

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"what starts out as a conventional psychological thriller is transformed (alongside increasingly homoerotic imagery and allusions to greco-roman art & mythology) into a tragic gay love story we snuck past the censors. Also we got that hot Bond Villain to star.”

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#Bryan Fuller got to indulge in every fanfic writers' dream of retconning his most extreme headcanons into actual canon #and he went absolutely buck wild and i RESPECT that 

[dummerhummer]

'yes this is the same franchise as that guy who tore off someone's face and wore it like a mask. same character actually. we've made some changes'

[bearded-cat]

My deepest fear is cannibalism (idk either) but this really sold me on finally watching hannibal