Rachel ducked her head away from Santana, nearly turning her back to her new friend, her embarrassment simmering around her. To be entirely honest, she wasn't entirely sure what she expected as advice -- of course they hadn't had that sort of a relationship, of course she wouldn't know his fetishes, of course there wouldn't be anything mindblowing -- but still she had somehow expected something more useful after going through the anxiety of bringing it up. And, anyway, Santana's suggestions of taking control of him and -- er -- oral sex -- were hitting a bit too close to the truth of their sex life for Rachel to do much else but hide behind the nearest display.
"O-oh," she stammered, trying to force the hesitance and awkwardness from her voice, trying to recall the blood from her cheeks to her brain somehow. "I don't know -- I just thought -- I mean, I don't have a lot of experience," she finally blurted out, her small attempts at justification somehow dissolving into a confession. "I mean, there was Finn, and Sam, and Jesse, and a few other guys, but they were all so -- so conventional, you know? Of course you know, at least for Finn and Sam, I would suppose. And Noah doesn't seem to be. Or, at least, his reputation has never seemed to be. It's not like he would ever talk about it with me, because he loves me too much or something, which is truly idiotic because sex is very important in a relationship and if he wants me to live out a fantasy I'd be more than happy to, provided it's at least somewhat in my comfort zone because I know there are certainly sexual fantasies which I would definitely be uncomfortable trying to reenact even for my future husband, but I don't think that's the issue here." The flush rising over her face as she rambled sank back as she whirled back on Santana, her anxiety now giving way to the focused train of thought streamrolling through her mind. "Surely he must have mentioned something. I want to make him happy -- I need to make him happy -- and I still even get nervous initiating it. I just -- San, help me," she pleaded quietly, sadly dropping her gaze to the pieces of lingerie still clutched in her hand, now seeming so hopeless and frumpy in comparison to her wild expectations, not even noticing how she had somehow begun using her new friend's nickname.