Finding A Berry
“I was teasing,” Puck said as he tried to defend himself. Of course he knew that he was mean but he would never be a guy who could just go and totally submit to a woman; especially a woman like Rachel. She wasn’t really anything to him. Yeah, he liked her but he didn’t even if know if they were friends. Were they? He was her fake husband and she was his fake wife but that didn’t necessarily make them friends. Most of their conversations had gone south so no; he didn’t think they were friends. That meant that his instinct to fight back, even just a little wasn’t going to be suppressed. He snorted a little at the ‘really love me’ part of her comment. That would have been one hell of a weird conversation. Really love her? Yeah, that wasn’t exactly something that he could just do at the drop of a hat, even if he had started to develop feelings for her.
When she started rambling he realized just how drunk she was, but even for a drunk girl she was honest. It seemed that her guard was down a hell of a lot more, which in all honesty, surprised him. She just kept rambling and he didn’t stop. “You don’t have to tell your dad the truth.” That was something that he felt like he had said for the millionth time. “We can keep this little charade up, because I don’t think that you should marry Jesse. He sucks and I don’t like him.” He was being nice there and well, he was half expecting her to go on this whole rant about how he doesn’t know him and blah, blah, blah. He didn’t care because no matter what he didn’t like the guy and seeing Rachel have to marry some dick like that pissed Puck off. So, he was going to try his hardest to stop her from telling her dad the truth and be nice. Hopefully was able to actually do it otherwise things would get even worse.
Great. Now she was comparing him to some bimbo. He didn’t even know who she was talking about but he was sure that she was a bimbo. “I’m not that mean.” That was a lie but again, he couldn’t just sit there and take it. He was stubborn and that was that. “I’m glad I don’t have boobs.” He said honestly, though there was a bit of humor in his voice. He’d be a dude with boobs, which wasn’t okay in the least. “If you hate it so much then just quit your job.” Puck was pretty sure that Rachel could just get another job. All she seemed to do was bitch so he figured that she should just quit, forget the bimbo, and forget Jesse. Well, maybe not that last part since her father seemed so hell bent on making sure that she married Jesse. “Rachel,” he said, stopping and turning to her. “Your life doesn’t have to be this way. You aren’t stuck with this shitty hand that you’ve been dealt. I want you to be happy.”
"I can't quit," Rachel argued in a tone that implied it should be the most logical thing in the world, that thinking otherwise was utterly ridiculous. "I have to work there because that's where Jesse works and my dad will, like, disown me if I quit because he says I have to spend time with Jesse before the inevitable wedding. And it can be really annoying to have him plan this whole wedding even though he knows that Jesse doesn't even talk to me really. But he doesn't care and it's stupid. It's so stupid and exhausting and..." All at once she just heaved a heavy sigh, her entire body slumping a little bit. And then, as though she had given up entirely on the idea of walking she sat down on the curb of the sidewalk, her feet in the street. Resting her arms on her knees she laid her chin on top of them, her face set in a frown. Maybe going out with Kurt had been a bad idea, not because Kurt had left but because she had drank so much and she had to go to work the next day. And all of that was going to be worse to deal with if she still didn't feel good. All of that on top of how much she normally hated it there wasn't something that she was going to enjoy having to deal with.
"I want my mom," she admitted suddenly, her voice sad but not as whiny as those words might come out from some people. It was the first time in a long time she honestly could remember thinking that things would be much better if her mother was there for her. She use to wish she was there all of the time when she was little but as she got older she was more accepting of the fact that she just wasn't going to get to have her mother to turn to when she really needed someone to talk to about certain things. But she wanted her mother then more than ever. At least she'd have someone in her family she could talk to about everything. Even if her mother might have agreed with what her father was doing- she would never know for sure as she barely remembered what her mother was even like- she would at least be able to tell her how she felt without worrying too much. Her father was there to listen to her a lot of the time while she was growing up but it wasn't the same. It would never be the same. Mothers and daughters just have a different type of bond than a daughter could ever have with her father. And there were certain subjects she just wouldn't bring up to the man who raised her. There were certain things he would never understand.
"I need to go home," she decided even though she made no move to stand up from the curb. She didn't move much at all except to turn her head to look at Puck for a moment in silence, her eyes just lingering on him as though she were studying him but she was really trying to decide how to say what she wanted to say in that moment. Gathering her thoughts in a cognitive way was much harder than she had expected it to be though that really shouldn't be that surprising. "I'm sorry I'm a nuisance," she said after a bit, turned her head so she could rest her chin on her arms again. "I wouldn't want to be fake married to me either. I'm loud and I'm bossy and I'm selfish. And I'm a perfectionist and I want things too much and I don't listen. I wouldn't want to be fake married to me either. Or real married. I'm a pain. I'm sorry."