There Are Far Better Places

There are too many things that I wish I were, too many people I wish I was, too many things I wish I had, too many insignificant thoughts to put in this box. Abbey. 19, Windy City.

[betterplaces]

I miss you again. I know I shouldn't, but I can’t help it. I know that having you was sometimes a comfort blanket, but I realize that a lot of the time it wasn't. I just wanted more than you gave me, it was never enough. And I don’t know why it was so hard for you. I was so open and honest all the time, but you couldn't give that back to me. Soon I’ll be home and we’ll both know that we’re only a small drive apart, but I can't do that again. I can't do what happened last summer over again, it wasn't worth it. At least thats what I keep telling myself. 

[unplacate]

[05am]

[betterplaces]

fkdajfkdjafkdlsa why why why do you do this

[betterplaces]

Stratford, Ontario. 

[betterplaces]

I took this photo with a shitty generic brand disposable camera from a drugstore when I was junior in high school - I enjoy stumbling across it on my newsfeed

[betterplaces]

I am so sick of being nostalgic all the fucking time. I can't go through my day or even a single hour without being sad or missing something in the past. I constantly compare now with then, and then with the future, thinking that nothing will be as good or fun or memorable as how things used to be. I feel like everyone is moving on with things, and I see friendships beginning to dwindle, and conversations withs said friends starting with “I feel like I haven’t seen you in so long” or “we never hangout anymore”. I don’t know how to function as myself without being comparative in every aspect. I compare people to people, people to myself, memories to the present, and so on and so forth. How am I supposed to move on successfully with my life if I can never stop being sad about what I don't have anymore. 

[betterplaces]

Vienna waits for you...

[betterplaces]

Tomorrow is my last day of high school. Everyone tells you before you go into high school that it's going to fly by. I just always thought "yeah I'm sure" but never actually believed it. I mean how fast can 4 years really go? I was proved wrong, in every sense of the word. I go to college in a few months, and then it's another 4 years. I don't know where time has gone.

[betterplaces]

what's the point

[impertynent]

[theniftyfifties]

[betterplaces]

I really need to stop this whole "getting my hopes up and thinking things will actually work out" thing I have been doing for the past few months with you.

[betterplaces]

I just want to know what you're thinking. I want to know if it's all just wasted time. I want to know if your skin is blue like mine.

[betterplaces]

It's hard to sit here, day after day, and wonder if something is meant to be; or if the events that appear to be fate or destiny are simply "earthly events". I just sit here and think about how things would be if that one thing didn't happen. What if I hadn't gone out that night? What if I hadn't turned that direction? Lately I have just been stuck in this stupid and morbidly frustrating state of confusion and borderline hopelessness wondering whether or not I should just let nature take its course or if I should choose my own "fate" or "destiny". How do you tell earthly events/happenings apart from destiny or fate? It's driving me absolutely insane... and I think I am about to give up

[randomshitthatmakesmehappy]

[breitefantasie]

[breitefantasie]

vintage †

[betterplaces]

same shit, different fucking day