Cishetphobic And Proud

Another discourse blog!! 21 bisexual/transman (he/him) Cishets aren't LGBT!! Anti-terf and anti-transmed!! And MAPs can die! Also this is a side blog, so i follow back from a different one

[kristina100000]

this is honestly unbeatable

[biconrosalina]

lmao its funny how past me had good judgement about people just about the wrong things

I have no idea what this is referring to

[aphobickuromi]

If you live in Massachusetts and can foster a cat please DM me, I’m getting kicked out of my home and can’t keep him for a while I want the best for my baby boy I’ve had him since I was little and he’s my angel

[aphobickuromi]

Please help me I’m running out of time I want charlie to be okay I love him so much

[aphobickuromi]

I hate to ask but my mom and I are dirt poor and can’t afford any apartments without help I need out of here soon please share this or donate if you can this is dire

Help a single mom pay for an apartment organized by Donna Segal

Hello! I’m Donna and I’m a 54 year old disabled Jewish single mom. I live with my… Donna Segal needs your support for Help a single mom pa

[aphobickuromi]

If you reblog only the cat part of this and callme a piece of shit in the tags then stay off my blog

I’m a soon to be homeless minor and you freaks thinks it’s ok to bring up discourse in this time

I only fucking posted it here cause it’s my most popular blog and want the best for me and my cat

If you’re willing to fucking call a homeless minor names you’re not a fucking good person

I’m sorry you disagree with my opinions but I literaly would help anyone and throw aside their lgbt opinions

I’m gonna be in the streets and y’all act like this

Fuck you honestly

[gaylor-moon]

Oh wow so ace people doxx and outt minors in the closet for disagreements with opinions now?

[gaylor-moon]

[biconrosalina]

Can y’all in the notes read the fucking room and stop trying to be like “actually asexuals ARE oppressed and LGBT!!!” when this post is about minors who got fucking doxxed and outed. This isn’t the time for y’all to debate, this is the time for y’all to shut the fuck up and see what happened and clean up your community (and donate to these kids!!!). This isn’t just a few bad apples if SO MANY of you guys in the notes can’t even understand how serious this is. You can’t even drop a stupid fucking debate topic to just show some empathy.

[stfudiscoinfernoed-archive]

One of the arguments about ace/aro inclusion is something along the lines of “it doesn’t matter that cishet aces/aros aren’t effected by homophobia or transphobia because cis lgb people aren’t affected by transphobia.” The basic implication that the community is made of different groups of people with different needs, so, hey!, adding another group shouldn’t be a big deal.

If you believe that premise, it shakes out, but only if you believe the premise. While it’s true each letter in LGBT needs to be treated a bit differently and has some unique needs, particularly the T, it’s also wrong because homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia are extremely interrelated and aphobia is not. You can’t properly address biphobia without addressing homophobia and transphobia. You can’t properly address transphobia without addressing biphobia and homophobia.

And aphobia? Addressing aphobia does jack shit to address biphobia, homophobia, and transphobia. In fact it can actually do harm because it creates a false narrative about how acceptable LGBT sexuality is to wider society and denies how our sexual lives and we as sexual beings are simultaneously fetishized and dehumanized.

[sanrioqueer]

How come when other LGBTQ reclaim and refer to others as f*ggot and d*ke, they recognize that they’re only referring to others who have reclaimed that slur

But when queer people call ourselves queer, we’re suddenly forcing it on everyone?

[teehee27292928716]

they hate how inclusive queer is thats why. they cant tell who the "correct" lgbt's are with that word.

[biconrosalina]

Sorry OP this isn’t at you just teehee, but where are you getting that from?? I explained to you earlier why many don’t like the derogatory history of the word queer. That’s all there is to it, some people just don’t like the word and its history as a slur. OP even said when using queer it should only be referring to those who reclaim it. And in order to reclaim something, it has to have been something negative previously. But anyway, it’s not about “hating inclusion,” queer people are certainly lgbt and welcome.

Only downside is now queer is starting to become the word to refer to ANYONE who is lgbt. Like in certain acedemia circles they are calling lgbt history queer history for example. It’s not about an individual calling themself queer, that’s all fine and good. We know y’all are only talking about yourself and other members of the queer community.

Basically when the rest of us are grouped under the queer label when we really don’t wanna be called queer, it doesn’t feel too great lol

[teehee27292928716]

you people are obsessed with me s2g

[biconrosalina]

Ok

[sanrioqueer]

How come when other LGBTQ reclaim and refer to others as f*ggot and d*ke, they recognize that they’re only referring to others who have reclaimed that slur

But when queer people call ourselves queer, we’re suddenly forcing it on everyone?

[teehee27292928716]

they hate how inclusive queer is thats why. they cant tell who the "correct" lgbt's are with that word.

[biconrosalina]

Sorry OP this isn’t at you just teehee, but where are you getting that from?? I explained to you earlier why many don’t like the derogatory history of the word queer. That’s all there is to it, some people just don’t like the word and its history as a slur. OP even said when using queer it should only be referring to those who reclaim it. And in order to reclaim something, it has to have been something negative previously. But anyway, it’s not about “hating inclusion,” queer people are certainly lgbt and welcome.

Only downside is now queer is starting to become the word to refer to ANYONE who is lgbt. Like in certain acedemia circles they are calling lgbt history queer history for example. It’s not about an individual calling themself queer, that’s all fine and good. We know y’all are only talking about yourself and other members of the queer community.

Basically when the rest of us are grouped under the queer label when we really don’t wanna be called queer, it doesn’t feel too great lol

[transcephalopod]

does anyone else find empowerment in completely and utterly rejecting q*eer as a label and refusing to be associated with it

[teehee27292928716]

u dont like using a word, how bold of u

[ilovebananas422]

Lots of people feel empowerment from rejecting a label put on them. Its not just a word to them.

[teehee27292928716]

queer is just an identity bro these q slur people are wack

[ilovebananas422]

An identity is a label. Some people dont like labels. Its not just because its queer. Lots of people attracted to all genders dont use labels. Nothing wrong with bi/pan, you just dont like to label yourself as that.

[teehee27292928716]

that guys whole thing is how awful the word queer is luv. how about we dont demonize queer

[transcephalopod]

queer is actually a pretty awful slur on its own without me doing anything to do

[teehee27292928716]

its not a slur bro

[biconrosalina]

Ok let’s get into the history of the word

It literally meant strange and perverse. Weird or unwell. From the very beginning this word started out it meant something negative. You literally can’t debate that.

And look! The first time it was used to describe someone gay was in the 19th century. And hm! It says it was used in a derogatory way! Because it was! It referred directly to Oscar Wilde around his sodomy trial! I’m sure you know the history of his sodomy trial so I won’t go further into it.

Further into the 19th and 20th century following Oscar Wilde’s trial, queer was used more and more as a derogatory term for gay men. This is a fact. You can not debate this, it was used as a slur from the very moment it became used to describe gay people. The word started with a negative meaning, and was continued to be used negatively towards a specific group. Literally a slur. And the funny thing about slurs is they can be reclaimed on an individual level but never on a complete scale.

We’ll address that you say lesbian is used in derogatory ways as well. Sure it is, but that’s not comparable. The word lesbian derived from the island lesbos. It is not an insulting negative word. Similar to how gay originally meant happy and cheerful, again not insulting. Even if they are used in a derogatory way, the words themselves do not have derogatory origins or meanings like queer does. They do not have a history of being designed from conception to be derogatory when in use to describe gay people. They are not slurs like queer is.

[something-too-much]

Hey inclus! Come pick up your fuckin trash!

[another-exclus]

wow. fantastic. love it.

[imbutch-deactivated20180419]

every lesbian when they realized that they didnt have an interest in boys when every girl in middle school/high school did:

[not4u2knowbut4u2weepandwonder]

[queerautism]

What fucking universe do you all live in that asexuality has more awareness than being a lesbian and how do I get there

[aceyinspacey-central]

Damn I’d do anything to get to a Universe with more awareness for Asexuality, demisexuality, and aromantics than lesbians, gays, bi, etc. THE TIME FOR MORE ACE/ARO AWARENESS IS NOW!!

[bone-thief]

[bloodsisters-deactivated2023013]

homophobic pastor: all gay people should die 

someone on tungle dot hell: Does that mean bisexuals get to die twice?? Are asexuals immortal? Haha do pansexuals just die over and ove 

[bloodsisters-deactivated2023013]

This website is punishing me

[meangirlnurse]

#I’M IMMORTAL

The point of this post is to criticize people who decide it’s hilarious to make jokes like this about violent homophobia. Congratulations – apparently you don’t need to worry about being murdered for being gay. How fucking fun for you. I’m glad you’re having a great time.

[biseckuals]

ppl on here make a post like “bi culture is HATING men and hating ur attraction to men! 🤢🤢🤮 liking m-🤢🤢 liking men🤮” and think it’s the epitome of bi positivity. bi men dont exist anymore? y’all are comfortable being biphobic like this? and for what? to appeal to biphobes who want us to downplay our attraction to the opposite gender to be “valid” in this community..? bi men i am so sorry

[another-exclus]

Starting to confront people who reblog the brainrot add ons to the "don't call people queer if they don't reclaim it" post. Going well so far (:

[another-exclus]

Cool

[dozybi-deactivated20200426]

Inclus really be like "you disagree with me on the hugely personal and often trauma-associated issue of slur reclamation so actually you don't deserve boundaries or empathy :)"

[itched]

hey can anyone tell me what the fuck this is supposed to say my eyes are bleeding

[itched]

is ‘homophobic bi people who won’t date their own gender’ like... an actual thing that exists.... because it reads like a massive strawman

[biconrosalina]

It’s definitely not common but ppl like this do exist. Usually it’s bc they’re dealing w internalized homophobia/biphobia where they know they’re sga but afraid of committing to a similar gender relationship

[itched]

it doesn’t really seem fair to call them homophobic in that case then surely :/

[biconrosalina]

Oh yea I completely agree, they need support and reassurance (internalized homophobia/biphobia is hell, I’ve been there) not whatever this person is pulling. Original tweet is very disgusting

[itched]

hey can anyone tell me what the fuck this is supposed to say my eyes are bleeding

[itched]

is ‘homophobic bi people who won’t date their own gender’ like... an actual thing that exists.... because it reads like a massive strawman

[biconrosalina]

It’s definitely not common but ppl like this do exist. Usually it’s bc they’re dealing w internalized homophobia/biphobia where they know they’re sga but afraid of committing to a similar gender relationship

[cowardly-bisexual]

So if there's no difference between "bisexual" and "pansexual," why does it matter what labels people use? Not trying to be critical, just curious about why this debate needs to happen.

the truth is, no one wants to be bisexual. we’re not blind, we know that everyone thinks we’re lying, we’re sluts, we’re attention seekers, we’re stupid, we’re apolitical, we’re here to fulfil their fantasies and then be discarded, we’re gross, we’ll give you STIs, we’ll cheat on you, we’re unstable, unreliable, we don’t know ourselves, we’re unwoke, we’re fake gay, we’re fake straight, everyone is fascinated with us but no one likes us, no one takes us seriously, no one believes our pain and our struggles and we don’t belong anywhere

we know exactly what kind of ideas people will associate with us as soon as we call ourselves “bisexual”, we know how hated and tainted that word is and that’s why so many of us shun labels, say vague things like “i just like people” or “I’m queer”, that’s why there are 200 new labels than mean bisexual but use different words, because we’ll do anything to run away from the pain of how the world sees and treats bisexuals

even in leftist spaces, bisexuality is the one issue that is still a fair target, that you can say anything about, people can say we’re just scared of fully coming out, we’re perpetuating patriarchy, we’re transphobes, we’re binarist, whatever, you can literally say anything and no one will stand up for us, including bisexuals because we’ve internalised all those messages and don’t believe we actually deserve respect or care, we don’t believe bisexuality is political or important or worthy  

it takes years of intense work and dedication to accept you’re bi let alone to feel pride in your bisexuality

and that’s why having another label that means bisexual but isn’t bisexual is so fucking harmful, because it prevents us from addressing and tackling biphobia - both internalised and societal - by distracting us and by pretending we can run away from it by simply using a shiny new label

making up a new word for bisexuality means you think bisexuality is disposable, worthless, optional, not worth fighting for, it’s disrespecting and discarding decades of bisexual history and activism and it’s alienating bisexuals from the existing bi communities all over the world

it’s shallow in the long term and will have incredibly harmful long term consequences

[andlostinmeaning]

Except they don’t mean the same thing which is why you can ID as both and also fuck this for just policing people’s labels at all. You don’t get to tell people who they are.

Just STOP blaming other queer people for the stigma in general. The people you are attacking are not the biphobes responsible.

[dozybi-deactivated20200426]

So we don’t get to tell people who they are but apparently it’s a-okay for pansexuals to regularly tell bisexuals that we’re regressive, transphobic, nbphobic etc. And don’t act like it doesn’t happen because that is the lived experiences of many, many bisexuals including myself. If you have any differences between bi and pan that don’t boil down to either transphobia/biphobia or semantic differences about the finer details of how you experience attraction (which granted is important to some people but definitely not worth throwing an established LGBT identity under the bus for) I’d love to hear them.

If you’ve never experienced the intense biphobia perpetuated by the pansexual community then I’m happy for you but don’t tell the rest of us that we’re wrong or we can’t speak out about it. Your “everyone is valid uwu just let people use the labels they like” is a lazy piece of pandering that excuses and emboldens people who adopt labels that actively harm huge parts of the community and refuse to think critically about what they’re doing and why they’re doing it. OP put together a very well-worded, important and heartfelt post about many bi people’s experiences in the modern LGBT community and all you can reply with is “pansexuals are valid but your lived experiences of oppression aren’t because they might hurt someone’s feelings :(” like really. Do better.

[andlostinmeaning]

You can’t attack the WHOLE pansexuality label because some pansexuals are dickheads. That’s called bigotry. Also there was not one valid point in that post. Not one. It was all attacking the wrong people. It is not biphobia to not want to label yourself bi if you don’t want to. Like seriously fuck off. I didn’t say the oppression isn’t real. I’m fucking bi myself. I KNOW it. I’ve LIVED it. But pansexuality is not the enemy

[andlostinmeaning]

And I’ve been a social activist for the community for a decade now and I have never encountered any harm from any label existing BUT I have consistently seen and experienced exclusionary posts like this. THAT is the real harm

[andlostinmeaning]

And the majority of pan people I’ve encountered online including myself ALSO identify as bi. This conflict is fake like most in the queer community probably created by TERFs like every other bullshit exclusionary content

[andlostinmeaning]

Here’s an idea. Attack harmful ideas and the people that actively promote them and not a whole group of people unless you want to be seen as a bigot with no reason 🙃

[dozybi-deactivated20200426]

Pansexuality IS a harmful idea and the people who promote it are, mainly, pansexuals. That’s the point. I’m not going out of my way to “attack” anyone by discoursing, I’m trying to get the word out to bi youth that they don’t have to be drawn in by this faux woke semantics game that only serves to worsen the internalised biphobia that heteronormative society imposes on us anyway. If pan people see me talking about how their label was founded on the basis of biphobia and transphobia, an actual irrefutable and well-documented fact, and get all upset then that says more about them than it does me.

If most pan people you know also identify as bi then why was this separate community created in the first place? Couldn’t be because of biphobia I guess. Oh and the audacity of implying that a nonbinary person is using TERF rhetoric by literally just talking about their own experiences. Because our lived experiences are just “fake conflict”. Because y'know, we bis aren’t smart enough to actually have an opinion on anything, we must just be puppets for transphobes. Performative and disgusting.

[andlostinmeaning]

People accidentally use TERF rhetoric ALL the time. The make their arguments in a way to not sound TERFy at first to young people before they start with the more obvious TERF knowledge. And how does that make sense that identifying as pan and bi at the same time is biphobic…. what? Honestly just no. It’s clear you are in your bubble and have heard a lot of bullshit. I highly doubt your “fact”, especially as you keep labelling queer a slur you very clearly don’t know queer history and you clearly have indoctrinated other TERF rhetoric. But also the origin is useless in the conversation which is why I’m not bothering to even argue it. I know much more about the origin of other labels but don’t know the origin of the word pan but even if that was the origin it’s irrelevant to this conversation. That would only make the origin transphobic and biphobic. It’s actually ironic because you’re doing the same thing you are saying pan being are doing to you saying that…… anyway, hit me up if you want an actual conversation later. You’ve made me feel worse because bigotry is horrendous to hear especially when it’s infighting. It’s atrocious that the TERFs have succeeded so much without people realising.

[biconrosalina]

Hey yeah shut the fuck up with this “Terfy” nonsense. Either something is purposely perpetuated by a TRANS EXCLUSIONARY movement exclusively or its not. And bi vs pan discourse has absolutely nothing to do with the violent transmisogny that terfs enforce.

Don’t you fucking dare water down the word Terf to try and feel like you’re winning this discussion. Terf is a fucking VIOLENT accusation. Terfs have a body count. You’re disrespecting trans women everywhere by calling something like this “Terfy.”

Bisexual people expressing our frustration with biphobia incited by pansexuality existing is not and never will be equivalent to terfs.

[andlostinmeaning]

It is a fact that TERFs do what I said and that it’s TERF rhetoric. You can’t get mad at me for just saying what they do

[biconrosalina]

You’re so stupid it is unreal

Terfs also say things like women deserve safe and supportive environments. ig that means anyone who says that same statement is supporting terf rhetoric 🤷🏻‍♂️

Use ur brain. Two groups can say similar things but with completely different meaning and intent based on the context of their groups and beliefs.

[cowardly-bisexual]

So if there's no difference between "bisexual" and "pansexual," why does it matter what labels people use? Not trying to be critical, just curious about why this debate needs to happen.

the truth is, no one wants to be bisexual. we’re not blind, we know that everyone thinks we’re lying, we’re sluts, we’re attention seekers, we’re stupid, we’re apolitical, we’re here to fulfil their fantasies and then be discarded, we’re gross, we’ll give you STIs, we’ll cheat on you, we’re unstable, unreliable, we don’t know ourselves, we’re unwoke, we’re fake gay, we’re fake straight, everyone is fascinated with us but no one likes us, no one takes us seriously, no one believes our pain and our struggles and we don’t belong anywhere

we know exactly what kind of ideas people will associate with us as soon as we call ourselves “bisexual”, we know how hated and tainted that word is and that’s why so many of us shun labels, say vague things like “i just like people” or “I’m queer”, that’s why there are 200 new labels than mean bisexual but use different words, because we’ll do anything to run away from the pain of how the world sees and treats bisexuals

even in leftist spaces, bisexuality is the one issue that is still a fair target, that you can say anything about, people can say we’re just scared of fully coming out, we’re perpetuating patriarchy, we’re transphobes, we’re binarist, whatever, you can literally say anything and no one will stand up for us, including bisexuals because we’ve internalised all those messages and don’t believe we actually deserve respect or care, we don’t believe bisexuality is political or important or worthy  

it takes years of intense work and dedication to accept you’re bi let alone to feel pride in your bisexuality

and that’s why having another label that means bisexual but isn’t bisexual is so fucking harmful, because it prevents us from addressing and tackling biphobia - both internalised and societal - by distracting us and by pretending we can run away from it by simply using a shiny new label

making up a new word for bisexuality means you think bisexuality is disposable, worthless, optional, not worth fighting for, it’s disrespecting and discarding decades of bisexual history and activism and it’s alienating bisexuals from the existing bi communities all over the world

it’s shallow in the long term and will have incredibly harmful long term consequences

[andlostinmeaning]

Except they don’t mean the same thing which is why you can ID as both and also fuck this for just policing people’s labels at all. You don’t get to tell people who they are.

Just STOP blaming other queer people for the stigma in general. The people you are attacking are not the biphobes responsible.

[dozybi-deactivated20200426]

So we don’t get to tell people who they are but apparently it’s a-okay for pansexuals to regularly tell bisexuals that we’re regressive, transphobic, nbphobic etc. And don’t act like it doesn’t happen because that is the lived experiences of many, many bisexuals including myself. If you have any differences between bi and pan that don’t boil down to either transphobia/biphobia or semantic differences about the finer details of how you experience attraction (which granted is important to some people but definitely not worth throwing an established LGBT identity under the bus for) I’d love to hear them.

If you’ve never experienced the intense biphobia perpetuated by the pansexual community then I’m happy for you but don’t tell the rest of us that we’re wrong or we can’t speak out about it. Your “everyone is valid uwu just let people use the labels they like” is a lazy piece of pandering that excuses and emboldens people who adopt labels that actively harm huge parts of the community and refuse to think critically about what they’re doing and why they’re doing it. OP put together a very well-worded, important and heartfelt post about many bi people’s experiences in the modern LGBT community and all you can reply with is “pansexuals are valid but your lived experiences of oppression aren’t because they might hurt someone’s feelings :(” like really. Do better.

[andlostinmeaning]

You can’t attack the WHOLE pansexuality label because some pansexuals are dickheads. That’s called bigotry. Also there was not one valid point in that post. Not one. It was all attacking the wrong people. It is not biphobia to not want to label yourself bi if you don’t want to. Like seriously fuck off. I didn’t say the oppression isn’t real. I’m fucking bi myself. I KNOW it. I’ve LIVED it. But pansexuality is not the enemy

[andlostinmeaning]

And I’ve been a social activist for the community for a decade now and I have never encountered any harm from any label existing BUT I have consistently seen and experienced exclusionary posts like this. THAT is the real harm

[andlostinmeaning]

And the majority of pan people I’ve encountered online including myself ALSO identify as bi. This conflict is fake like most in the queer community probably created by TERFs like every other bullshit exclusionary content

[andlostinmeaning]

Here’s an idea. Attack harmful ideas and the people that actively promote them and not a whole group of people unless you want to be seen as a bigot with no reason 🙃

[dozybi-deactivated20200426]

Pansexuality IS a harmful idea and the people who promote it are, mainly, pansexuals. That’s the point. I’m not going out of my way to “attack” anyone by discoursing, I’m trying to get the word out to bi youth that they don’t have to be drawn in by this faux woke semantics game that only serves to worsen the internalised biphobia that heteronormative society imposes on us anyway. If pan people see me talking about how their label was founded on the basis of biphobia and transphobia, an actual irrefutable and well-documented fact, and get all upset then that says more about them than it does me.

If most pan people you know also identify as bi then why was this separate community created in the first place? Couldn’t be because of biphobia I guess. Oh and the audacity of implying that a nonbinary person is using TERF rhetoric by literally just talking about their own experiences. Because our lived experiences are just “fake conflict”. Because y'know, we bis aren’t smart enough to actually have an opinion on anything, we must just be puppets for transphobes. Performative and disgusting.

[andlostinmeaning]

People accidentally use TERF rhetoric ALL the time. The make their arguments in a way to not sound TERFy at first to young people before they start with the more obvious TERF knowledge. And how does that make sense that identifying as pan and bi at the same time is biphobic…. what? Honestly just no. It’s clear you are in your bubble and have heard a lot of bullshit. I highly doubt your “fact”, especially as you keep labelling queer a slur you very clearly don’t know queer history and you clearly have indoctrinated other TERF rhetoric. But also the origin is useless in the conversation which is why I’m not bothering to even argue it. I know much more about the origin of other labels but don’t know the origin of the word pan but even if that was the origin it’s irrelevant to this conversation. That would only make the origin transphobic and biphobic. It’s actually ironic because you’re doing the same thing you are saying pan being are doing to you saying that…… anyway, hit me up if you want an actual conversation later. You’ve made me feel worse because bigotry is horrendous to hear especially when it’s infighting. It’s atrocious that the TERFs have succeeded so much without people realising.

[biconrosalina]

Hey yeah shut the fuck up with this “Terfy” nonsense. Either something is purposely perpetuated by a TRANS EXCLUSIONARY movement exclusively or its not. And bi vs pan discourse has absolutely nothing to do with the violent transmisogny that terfs enforce.

Don’t you fucking dare water down the word Terf to try and feel like you’re winning this discussion. Terf is a fucking VIOLENT accusation. Terfs have a body count. You’re disrespecting trans women everywhere by calling something like this “Terfy.”

Bisexual people expressing our frustration with biphobia incited by pansexuality existing is not and never will be equivalent to terfs.