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stella ⋆ he/she/it ⋆ ND ⋆ alienkin ⋆ queer ⋆ minor

[boyalienn]

shitty intro post:

hi, my name is stella.

generally low empathy + struggles with tone

6teen. alienkin. U.S. based. gmt-4 timezone

AuDHD, questioning BPD + NPD

radqueer, proship/profic, paraphile, transID

no dni follow your own

more details / interests / beliefs / etc under the cut

he/him | she/her | it/its | xe/xem | xae/xaer

oil/oils | mud/muds | rot/rots | gore/gores

trans guy, androgyne, fem cub, xenogendered

im queer, i like dudes and chicks and enbies

i also like non-human beings

punk rocker, communist, pagan, folk witch

single + looking for a relationship. feel free to pursue (no older than 19)

byi: i struggle pretty badly with empathy. i am obsessive and get attached to people easily. i struggle with reading tone and context clues. either be direct or be okay with me guessing and going for it. im also a REALLY anxious and nervous person lmao. i infer context based on what you say to me, and i'll use tone tags if you use them (probably). im also generally not so good for the mental health. and i have passive suicidal ideation + maybe not so passive homicidal ideation.

closest moots: @daddys-gorewhore, @gutted-kitten, @sillyalienwhoeatsglass, @kityy-katz, @deadfawndonteat, @4lienfr0me4arth, @aloneinhernirvana, @sweetiiangel, @syndifangz + more! I'll add as I go I'm so sorry if I didn't include you, I promise I'll get to you <3

fandoms: regretevator, fnaf, trying to get into breaking bad, trying to get back into invader zim and creepypasta, into deltarune and bfdi by proxy but i know very little about the lore atm. hamilton...? but the fandom freaks me out. i also like medical shows.

movies I've liked: IT, scary stories to tell in the dark, mean girls, the human centipede, terrifier, the ring, longlegs, marvel movies (especially ant man and the wasp)

bands/artists: streetlight manifesto, alkaline trio, a wilhelm scream, periphery, veil of maya, protest the hero, sublime, slightly stoopid, system of a down, catch 22, party cannon, mitski, ayesha erotica, leftover crack/choking victim, public serpents, radiohead, the smiths, incubus, deftones, common rider, saosin, the offspring, mindless self indulgence, the lawrence arms, descendents, operation ivy, the crane wives, adrianne lenker, beastie boys, dillenger four, every time i die, the flaming tsunamis, the flatliners, ISMFOF, lebanon hanover, dethklok, marina, millencolin, pierce the veil, sleeping with sirens, hawthorne heights, the specials, tigers jaw, tool, the used, the vandals, voodoo glow skulls + more

I LOVE MUSIC RECS. RECOMMEND ME MUSIC. MAKE ME PLAYLISTS I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER.

interests: poetry/literature, fragrances, music, music scenes, bugs, spirituality/magic, clowning, sanrio, makeup, manifestation, fashion, politics, languages, history, glitter, my fandoms, the paranormal, aliens, gore, more idk you have to ask me i can't remember

politics: communist. i think we should have communism everywhere, i think we should abolish capitalism and all hierarchies everywhere. loud anti-racist, feminist, etc. cops are class traitors. abolish prisons. land back for native americans. there is no ethical billionaire. obviously fuck trump. fuck the united states as a whole. im in love with che guevara. im always learning new things. please educate me, please give me resources, book recommendations, advice, anything.

transIDs:

cisADHD, cisAutistic, cisObsessive, cisBadMemory, cisChronicallyOnline, cisLearningDisability

trisAddict, trisApathetic, trisStalked, trisParanoid, trisPanhallucinations, trisNPD, trisBPD

transAwesomesauce, transJiraiKei, transEnderman, transCutieMarkHaver, transRoadkill, transSoftSpoken, transAdmired

permaRotting, permaObsessed, permaWeirdo, permaSleepy, permaProblematic, permaGlittery

NSFW!!!! if you don't wanna hear about my sexual interests then stop reading here.

biggest kinks if you fw me like that: forniphilia, bondage, cnc, pet play, dehumanization, sadomasochism, free use, breath play, fear, ownership, possessiveness, stalking, somnophilia, blood play, combat boots, crying.

others: praise, degradation, body hair, body mods, chub, chastity/edging/orgasm denial, facesitting, body worship, rough sex, face fucking, body hair, overstimulation, humiliation, watersports, conditioning, power dynamics, sensory deprivation.

hard nos: scat, vomit, forcefem, public in most scenarios, exhibitionism, sounding, anything with needles, ageplay in ANY form, "daddy", race play, incest, bugs, amputation, inflation, vore.

unless i discover something i seriously don't like, everything else is fair game.

switch heavily leaning submissive.

that's about it

[clair-desoleil]

"transrace was made to mock poc" ignoring transwhite/nullpoc beings

"transabled was made to mock the disabled" ignoring nulldisabled beings

"transage was made to be predatory" ignoring younger-to-older/ageless beings

"transIDs were made to mock transgender labels" ignoring transgender beings who identify with transIDs

[maladaptiveangelx]

I get jealous because I know I’m replaceable.

[boyalienn]

kinda important!!!! long text below the cut. talking about my age and transIDs. if we're mutuals I do ask that you read this, given you have the time, because transparency is important to me.

for pretty much the entirety of me having this blog, I have told people I am 16. to be completely honest, my bodily age is 15. why even call attention to it? when i start talking to someone new online, and I believe they have the potential to become important in my life (typically in a romantic sense), i like to be upfront with them about the most significant parts of my identity. i often tell people my "real" age, because i don't want it to create problems later on. recently, i had an issue where someone reacted negatively to this information, and i got the impression that they thought i was lying about my age on the internet just for the sake of it, which is what i want to clear up.

despite not outwardly identifying this way, i am transage. since i was around the age of 9 or 10, i have identified as anywhere from 1-3 years older than my bodily age. this is because of two factors; neurodivergency and trauma.

my whole life, especially in public school, i have felt alienated from my peers because of how different i am. in terms of how i viewed what happened, i see it as a mix of being transgender, nonhuman, and neurodivergent (autistic, to be specific). either way, it left me with a feeling of being other. when you already feel other in a social setting like that, and teachers/staff affirm this difference by telling you that "you are so much more mature than your peers", or "you're so good at taking care of people", or whatever, that changes the way you view yourself and how you interpret your interactions with people.

the larger and more significant reason i identify as transage, is due to trauma often called parentification. during 2020, i was in 4th grade, and i experienced a lot of traumatic events in my household i don't wish to describe, but parentification and neglect were big themes. i spent a lot of time taking care of my three younger sisters, two of which at the time were still in diapers, while i was doing online school because of COVID. i was 9 years old, and then 10, alone for many hours of the day, and expected to do things like change diapers, cook food, and care for them. my education was seldom relevant, as were my needs as a person and as a child. this was the really beginning to my internal world and interpretation of myself being flipped upside down.

additionally, during middle school, i was further parentified, and was expected to be a mediator, problem solver, emotional regulator, and at times a therapy figure for an adult in my life. a lot of times, if i could not fulfill this role, my household felt or was unsafe. this went on for all three years of middle school, and because i was entirely reliant on this person to drive me to and from my school which was too far away to walk to, provide me with my basic needs, and give me access to medical care (like prescriptions for my ADHD and my hrt), i did not have a choice but to comply.

now i can look back at this stuff, and know it's not my fault, but those kinds of events complete alter the way you see yourself. i don't CHOOSE this, and it is incredibly isolating to me to feel extremely different from my peers, and is sometimes even harmful to me as i am guilty of pursuing attention from older people to affirm that i am as "mature" as i feel.

all of this is to say, im sorry? i guess? i would say i'm sorry for lying but it's not really much of a lie in the first place. i was not transparent about that because i want my real, internal age to acknowledged in this one space i have for it to be acknowledged in. i think of myself as 16 in my head, i have to catch myself and sometimes even correct myself when talking about my age irl, and when i think of being 16, i think "yes, that's me."

i hope this clears up any confusion, and questions are always welcome, i simply don't want to be interpreted as what im not, whether that be 15 or a liar. thank you guys. kisses, platonically or otherwise xxx

[sugvr4blktboys]

happy fat boy friday guys🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

[boyalienn]

HELL YEAHHH

[0range0szkar]

you know you don’t actually have to be my friend right 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

You don’t HAVE to be my mutual

no one will care if you block me

if you don’t like me or are annoying by me

block me

it’s easy

it’s simple

it’s one button

you’re a bitch if you don’t like me and you ain’t block me yet

[boyalienn]

goodmorning tumblr i don't wanna do anything ever again but lay in bed. also my neck muscles are sore for god knows why

[avix3o3]

Baby wake up Springtrap is getting political

[drawntobooks1415]

!REUPLOAD!

The other image was AI, and I couldn't have my account being mucked up by that SLOP

(Image credits to person_500 on Pinterest!)

[boyalienn]

when does the species dysphoria stop.

[boyalienn]

daily affirmations:

im not a system

im not a system

im not a system

my childhood didn't affect me at all

the other voices in my head are irrelevant

im not a system

im not a system

[hero1nbob]

[boyalienn]

is getting my eyeballs tattooed a valid transition goal 🤔🤔🤔 maybe 🤔🤔🤔🤔

[rq-matt]

trying not to like peoples vent posts because it feels like i'm just going

[fairycosmos]

cradling the em dash in my hands what the fuck have they done to you

[boyalienn]

me with the semi colon. i am a chronic semi colon user. ai can never have it

[minotauri]

[louder than everyone] MAN I THINK IT DEPENDS!

[boyalienn]

do uou ever miss your home planet? do you have one? do you like earth? /genq /curious

i think i have a home planet, somewhere. i don't really know much about who i am or why i'm here, but i've come to believe that somewhere down the line an alien had offspring with a human and that eventually turned into me however many generations later. wherever im from, i miss it badly. i know i don't belong here, and i feel it everyday because i love my friends so much but i feel so different from them. i feel nothing like them even if we're really similar. i love earth though, i love this planet, i love the trees, i love the oceans, i love the animals and insects and plants. i relate to deep sea creatures and insects and fungi. sometimes i get scared that even if i figured out where im really from, they wouldn't take me back because im too human to exist or survive or be accepted there. questions are always welcome, feel free to ask follow up questions anytime about anything ^_^