Brandi Chantalle

[brandichantalle]

I gave up drinking last January. If I’m being completely honest, my drunk self was immoral and unimpressive. I asked God to show me myself, and He went hard on helping me recognize things I needed to become uncomfortable with and separate from. I learned that abstaining from something came easier than adding something more sustaining. So, this year, I challenged myself to read the Bible more. Yesterday I completed the book of Genesis, which may not sound like a big deal to many... but I’m 29, a believer in God/His word, & it’s the first full book of the Bible that I’ve EVER read. I was feeling crazy proud and reflective on the difference between this year and last when I stumbled on a note I wrote in August while refraining from the influence of social media and television. Visit my website, BrandiChantalle.com, to check it out. If you’re also working on silencing the external noise and honoring your inner voice, then it’s for you (too). Leave a comment on the blog if you check it out, and I promise to get back to you there. https://www.instagram.com/p/BtBLCa4lkmt/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1h9y3474juneh

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We'll be celebrating our anniversary toddler free this weekend, but I feel like our union can't be celebrated without championing Zora. It's no secret that we were certain about our commitment to her before we actualized our commitment to each other. Zora Rhondamarie truly is a game changer. Because she exist, I've had to be accountable for who I am and who I fail to be. I've had to show up and fight for the things I've claimed to want. I've had to prove myself, consistently. I've had to be clear on who I am so as to not dilute who she can be. What a glorious responsibility.

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Year 1, Lesson 1: Nothing from our past has stolen our value. | Last night my sister asked if we were celebrating our anniversary in a special way. I reminded her that midway through the year I didn't know if we'd make it to this anniversary, so I would surely be giving my break through praise and celebrating accordingly. I could talk y'all to death, but my message is redundant. The point is this: it was undoubtedly a trying year for us, but we stuck to the promise of choosing each other - and we're better for it. @Crsfrncs, you reflect everything I am - come hell or high water. Blessedly (I almost wrote lucky 🙄) for me, that means you reflect my ability to grow and conquer. Here's to us reflecting all that God is in years to come. ALL thanks to Him for protecting us from all the things we thought we wanted. | #BlackLoveGonGetThisWork #WhenYourBlackGirlMagicIsShowing

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The stories these pictures tell: I got married. I successfully surprised my husband with a birthday trip to Costa Rica. I did Zora's hair on a sidewalk in Brooklyn. I nursed her while getting my makeup done on our wedding day, compliments of the fabulous @ericanikole. I celebrated Black love happening in The White House. I laid lazily in bed and bathed in the glow of my Black AF family. 2016 was a trying year, for sure. Talk about growth and breaking bad habits. But man was 2016 beautiful and beautifully captured. 7 of 9 photos include Zora, because duh. 3 of 9 involve Zora nursing, also because duh. (That was our MO for about two years, and while I miss it sporadically, I'm glad that chapter is behind us. I'm also glad our last session was captured in picture form and made its way into this collage.) 2 of 9 photos include @crsfrncs, because he's usually the man behind the lens (he's legit taking photos of me as I read him this caption.. hence him being the photographer in 4 of 9 photos.) I really don't know why most of y'all aren't already following him - seeing as I took none of the photos pictured. With that being said, 3 of 9 photos were taken by the hands of other creative black men: #word to @kelbpics & @andrewthomasclifton. 1 of 9 photos depict The First Family, and I love that they made their way into this collage - because duh #goals.

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Habari gani, (Swahili for "What's the news?") good people! Today is the first day of Kwanzaa, and it's also my first time celebrating Kwanzaa with my paternal family. I was introduced to Kwanzaa by my maternal grandmother, and as noted on my most recent blog post (link in bio), "She was championing the God I only thought I worshipped by exalting Him, and only Him, on Christmas Day. She was also planting roots of heritage and self celebration by adding Kwanzaa to our holiday roster. She was creating a tradition I could take pride in, and affirming that neither holiday had to be mutually exclusive." | I'd love to know how those of you who observe Kwanzaa came to celebrate it and what it means to you. Leave your thoughts here or read the full write up on my blog and get busy in the comments section. I hope unity is in everyone's hearts today as we prepare to make our way into 2017.

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Today, one of my students (that likes to pretend he hates me) told me he was creeping through my IG and saw my husband gripping my thigh, as well as images of my stretch marks. Though I was a bit taken aback to confront my social media presence in that capacity, it turned into a brief aside with some of my female students about body image. A few weeks ago, a ring I wear led to a discussion on breast feeding: how it benefits the infant, can be a toiling journey, and its absence in the Black community. Just yesterday, the mention of AIDS in a book turned into a full out sex ed conversation. While my grandma shutters at the thought of my students seeing some of the things I share, I nestle into that discomfort and know the dialogue it sparks is something I wish I could have had with an adult during my high school years. So, should a student see this, know that I posted it just for you. Because I’m a real person outside our classroom, and because I’m a real woman working through my own issues with body image. And just as much I see the real you, it’s okay for you to see me too. Note: This picture was taken in January, before I cut off my waist beads and began working on loving myself without adornments. Queens deserve to be adorned, but without them - I’m no less enough. #TeachMrsFrancis #FrancisLostFiles2016

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Dear Summer, Bring that ass back. #FrancisLostFiles2016 | 📸 @crsfrncs

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Thanks to @itsjustbri, we got to tour The White House this morning. Zora doesn't know Obama has been in office the last 8 years, but I'll show her this picture one day as a reminder that a black family resided here, and their stay gave me great joy. | 📸 @crsfrncs (at The White House)

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That Christmas photo. | Because the Christmas tree parallels the Kwanzaa kinara, Zora's first ornament is a pink pony, and my 💖couldn't be more full.

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Taking it back to Costa Rica in June, because today we retired these rain boots for a pink pair that actually fit. I intended to sneakily size up, but they didn't have lime green ones in a 6. So, we just had to face reality. She's growing, and with growth comes the elimination of things that no longer fit. Life is hard when you're 2. Who knew? Let the record reflect that Zora knows what she likes, and I love her for it. 📸 @crsfrncs (at El Roble, Heredia, Costa Rica)

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This picture was taken three years ago from today, when I found out I was pregnant. Though Chris and I were nothing but a collective hot mess, we'd decided months earlier that we wanted a family. I punked out initially and popped a Plan B, but once it was off my radar, just two weeks after his mother passed and only an hour before we were supposed to meet @ciaraswirled and her hubby at the strip club, a test came back positive. As someone born with a nurturing spirit, I've wanted to be a mom since as far back as I can remember. I also wanted to be married. Chris and I were nowhere near ready for the load we took on in committing to both of those visions, and my first trimester was hellish proof. Physically, I felt great. Emotionally, I was a train wreck spewing black at Chris whenever the opportunity arose. Damn'ing him for being who he had already shown me he was when I wanted him to be someone else, someone I wouldn't regret bringing a life into this world with. Someone that didn't make me see myself and require me to grow in that truth. Three years later, we're about a month from celebrating our one year anniversary, and it scares me how happy I am with the life and love that we've worked for. He recently noted that I don't post as much lately, and it tickled me because it's not that greatness isn't happening - it's just that I'm so enveloped in it when it's occurring that I usually forget to capture it for posterity. Instagram Stories didn't help the matter a bit. I say all that to say, a quote has been on my mind heavy lately, and it's so fitting for the reflection that comes along with this time of year for me: "I know it seems like I write less poetry about you these days. But know this: I write you less now because I live you more." I hope y'all are out here living.

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The best part of waking up. #FrancisFaceSleepingDiaries #AttendingBedsideBaptist #CauseEveryonesMuhfugginTired

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"I don't need you on my team. I'm raising my squad." | One of the out takes from yesterday's pics in our renovated basement. Don't ask how long it took us to finally finish painting. Just know Chris did the damn thing with this wall behind Zora, and I did the orange one - then neglected it for months before the finishing touches were completed. #ZorasInstagram

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That defeated devil can't do me no harm. #BlackLoveGoinGetThisWork #NoSuchThingAsALifeThatsBetterThanYours (at U.S. Botanic Garden)

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With great excitement, I am glad to announce that my website, BrandiChantalle.com, is officially live! Use the link in my bio to look around. A few things you'll find: the introduction to my up-and-coming book, it's release date/title (Love Notes for Our Daughters is actually part 2!), and a recap/photos of our honeymoon. Much thanks to everyone who supported me thus far. Please be sure to subscribe if you'd like to be updated in the future, or just shoot me a message using the contact form if you want to let me know that you visited and felt compelled to leave me some love. Happy Mother's Day, and I am celebrating the feminine divine in every woman - all the while thanking my mother for being the OG ancestor and leaving me a spirit of abundance! PC: @andrewthomasclifton

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"What she wanted for her girls was more than that. She wanted happiness, however they could get it. Whoever brought it... There was nothing too good for her girls. Matter of fact, what folks never dreamt of would only just about do." | Ntozake Shange's Sassafrass, Cypress, & Indigo (at Patong Beach, Phuket.(หาดป่าตอง ภูเก็ต))

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