pretend-ious @brangst - Tumblr Blog

I wish I was the kind of person

To say fuck you fuck off I dont care

Figure it out yourself. Leave me alone.

Instead, I am the breadwinner

The responsible one

The eldest daughter who isn't actually one

The mom with no children

I cannot keep this up

When I can't even take care of myself

I feel like im going to explode

"mhmm" you say.

You can tell me that its my fault,

That i am overdramatic, too sensitive,

That it isn't a big deal,

That i should be the bigger person ,

But ive done that my entire fucking life

and it has gotten me nowhere. Done me nothing.

I am sick of being small

Im so fucking sick of neutral and mediator and easy and kind

When I get blindsided by betrayal and disrespect and ignorance and invalidation

If i could run away I would

If i would run away I would

If I would run away I would

My entire existence is invalid

My entire experience is invalid

Does this mean my reality is invalid

What is real? What is right?

Fuck you.

I am stuck here

I am trapped inside of this house

I am relied upon

I am shamed

I am trapped

vangogheye

(Chen Chen, Chapter VIII / Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray / Markus Zusak, I Am the Messenger / Holly Black, The Cruel Prince / Anne Carson, Glass, Irony and God / Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest)

My fav hobby is rereading my manic depressive shitposts and triggering myself

Have I ever, really, been loved?

I'm sorry. Idk what for, because you did all the wrongs,

But I am.

I fucking miss you.

I don't know what I feel. It is every single awful emotion all at the same time constantly and I am SO FRUSTRATED and overstimulated all the time. I'm so fucking tired. I don't want to do it.