Stuck in a Day Dream

Hi, my name's Summer, I'm single, and if you want to know anything else, just ask.

[spacehorrors]

it is also worth noting that this will be used to cover up the inaction on the cost of living crisis. expect a bunch of "uk coming together to mourn the queen" bullshit soon when families are choosing between heating their homes and feeding their kids

[spacehorrors]

not to mention how the funeral costs will show just where the country's priorities are but any political figures pointing that out will be demonised for being anti-monarchy

[bixbythemartian]

literally just saw an article on twitter about this

[bixbythemartian]

my bad it wasn't an article, t'was a video about how a bunch of people potentially freezing to death, starving, or at best going into massively overwhelming debt is 'insignificant now'. this is fucking disgusting and the BBC should be ashamed.

[hailqiqi]

ALL OF THIS

Pay close attention to what's being pushed through Parliament while everyone's attention is on the Queen. This is a great opportunity for them to pull some really nasty shit without the media circus noticing

[blossomfully]

How was I supposed to tell you what I was feeling?“ she said, “I didn’t want to ruin your day. “I am so many things but I won’t be the weight on your ankle, if I drown I won’t ask you to come with me.

S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #227  (via blossomfully)

[blossomfully]

But how can you miss someone when they are right beside you?“ She asks. “You can,” I say, “you can. When they are beside you but they are not yours. When they can leave without a moment’s notice and you do not have the right to ask them to stay.

Sue Zhao  (via blossomfully)

[blossomfully]

[blossomfully]

“If I could have done it all again, I would have loved you better. But I could not have loved you more.”

— Sue Zhao // “I loved you in all the ways that I could”

[blossomfully]

“I knew we were temporary,“ she said. “Sometimes people come into your life and all you can do is appreciate them while they’re there, and try not to get attached to the way they bring light into your life; and try not to miss them when they leave.”

— Sue Zhao // Nothing but Strawberries #7

[blossomfully]

“I,” she says, “am always stuck. I am always stuck between giving people everything because I am dying to create meaningful relationships, and giving them nothing at all because then if they leave, at least I’ll be left whole.”

— S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #138

[blossomfully]

“One day - I will tell you about the dream I had, where you and I were together and you did not leave, where I was not terrified and you were not numb, where things were the way we wished they could be and not the way they are.”

— Sue Zhao

[blossomfully]

““I don’t hate you,” she promised. “I swear I don’t. “It just hurts too much to be around you right now.””

— Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #27

[blossomfully]

““It never stops hurting, does it?” “What?” “Giving someone the best of you and watching them choose someone else.””

— S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #83

[blossomfully]

Is it really so difficult for you to imagine that somebody could love you? That they could stay?

[blossomfully]

Nineteen.

You fall in love with a boy who can’t pronounce your last name. Who never asks if you’re okay. Who kisses too hard and without permission. You mistake it for passion.

Ten days before Christmas he takes his passion too far. Throws it against the window; smashing glass as he goes. When he’s done, he leaves you to pick up the shards with your shaky hands. Then, he insists on driving you to the train station. You just try not to cry.

By Spring, the window has been replaced by double glazing. You never do tell your friends why. They still refer to him as the charming one. You prefer not to describe the blood on his hands.

You wonder about charm, passion and violence. Are they really so inextricably linked?

Is violence passion? You think. Is it just another word for love?

No. No. No. You’re sure of it now.

Why did you ever think it was?

Sue Zhao || “A Culture”

[blossomfully]

“What’s your greatest fear?” she asks.

“To be forgotten,” I tell her. “But not just that. To be forgotten by a person who I could never forget.“

[blossomfully]

Don’t settle. Don’t settle. You are worth 100%. Not 60%. Not 75%. Don’t settle for excuses. You will find happiness and it will be so much more than you ever imagined.

[blossomfully]

“Before you kiss someone for the first time, just wait. Take a second to look at them. They are so new, so unfamiliar. Right now you don’t know how they taste, how their hands will press against your skin, how they’ll breathe. You won’t see them like this again. Look at them wanting - the apprehension in their eyes. They don’t know either. In their mind you are uncharted territory. Isn’t that special? Keep it. That’s how you’ll never lose them. Every so often afterwards look at them through these eyes. Don’t lose that wonder. Don’t lose the spark.”

— S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #197

[blossomfully]

People are impermanent. The love of your life will leave you. On a Sunday morning, they’ll kiss you for the last time.

You won’t know it’s the last time, of course. You rarely do.

Later, when thinking back to it, you’ll try to remember whether they lingered for just a moment before they broke away. You’ll try to remember the placement of their hands.

Much later still, you’ll become stuck on the memory of how you met. How you fell in love with their mind. How they surprised you. How they challenged you to become a better person.

You’ll spend Friday evenings trying to disentangle them from your psyche. Like finding an endless array of their socks at the bottom of your drawer. Wishing they would disappear yet being unable to throw them out.

On bad nights, you want to scream. How could you? Of all the people in the world, you were supposed to stay. Out of all the temporality, all that transience - you were meant to be the exception.

You think about calling them, if only to receive a reminder of their voice on the answerphone. You almost do, but something stops you. You remember a poem you read a long time ago. It went something like - 

People are impermanent. The love of your life will leave you. On a Sunday morning, they’ll kiss you for the last time.

Sue Zhao | Nothing but Strawberries

[blossomfully]

Sue Zhao - @blossomfully