This is me at 21 years old. This is the day I graduated from the Detroit police academy at 4:00pm, went home and took a couple hour nap, woke up at 9:30 that night and reported to my first tour of duty at the 12th Precinct for midnight shift. Look at that smile on my face. I couldnāt have been more excited, more proud. Armed with my dadās badge that he wore for 25 years on my chest, one of my momās sergeant stripe patches in my pocket, my lucky $2.00 bill tucked into my bulletproof vest, a gun I was barely old enough to purchase bullets for on my hip and enough naive courage for a small army, I headed out the doorā¦my mom snapped this photo on my way.Ā
The next 17 years would bring plenty of shed blood, black eyes, torn ligaments, stab wounds, stitches, funerals, a head injury, permanent and irreparable nerve damage, 5 ruptured discs, some charming PTSD and depression issues and a whole lot of heartache. They brought missed Christmases with my family, my absence from friendsā birthday get-togethers, pricey concert tickets that were forfeited at the last minute because of a late call and many sleepless nights.Ā
Iāve laid in wet grass on the freeway for three hours watching a team of burglars and orchestrating their apprehension, Iāve dodged gunfire while running down a dark alley in the middle of the night chasing a shooting suspect, Iāve argued with women who were too scared to leave their abusive husbands until they realized they had to or they would end up dead. Iāve peeled a dead, burned baby from the front of my uniform shirt, Iāve felt the pride of putting handcuffs on a serial rapist and Iāve cried on the chest of and kissed the cheek of my dead friend, coworker and academy classmate even though it was covered in his own dried blood and didnāt even look like him from all the bullet holes. I know what a bullet sounds like when itās whizzing past your ear, a few inches away, I know what the sound of a Motherās shrilling scream is like when she finds out her son has been killed in the middle of the street and I know what itās like to have to tell a wife and mother of 3 that her husband was killed in a car accident while on his way home from work.Ā
Smells, pictures, sounds and sights are burned and engrained into our mindsā¦things we can never forget, no matter how hard we try; things that haunt our sleep at night and our thoughts during the day; things that we volunteered to deal with so that you donāt have to. Things I donāt want my sister, little cousins or YOU to even have to KNOW about.Ā
I never once went to work thinking, āIām gonna beat someone tonight.ā; āHmmmā¦I think Iām gonna kill someone tonight.ā I DID, however, go to work every night, knowing that I was going to do the best I could to keep good people safe, even if that meant that I died doing so.
We ALL need to start being more understanding and compassionate toward one another. Violence doesnāt cure violence and hate doesnāt cure hate. Iāve seen and experienced both sides of the spectrum since I left the PD and I get it. I truly do. But this all has to stop.Ā
Are cops perfect? No. Are there bad cops? Yes. But pleaseā¦understand that the vast majority of police are good, loving, well intentioned family people. They have husbands and wives and children and parents and pets and cousins and mortgages and electric bills and lawns that need cutting, just like you. They have hearts and consciences. They arenāt robots, theyāre not machines and they just want to help keep the wolves away from the sheep. I KNOW thereās people who donāt deserve to wear the badge but theyāre SO VERY few and far between. It breaks my heart to see all this hatred and anger flying around. All itās doing is encouraging more of the same.
Ā
If youāve read this far, thank you for listening. Iām not gonna sit here and tell you that if you hate or donāt support one side or the other, to unfriend me and never speak to me againā¦I hope those are the people who come straight TO me. Because Iāll be more than happy to hug you and pray or meditate with you. Iāll be more than happy to listen to your concerns and let you vent and empathize with your feelings. But then Iāll encourage you to help me find a solution to end all this nonsense because if weāre not part of the solution, weāre part of the problem. Love to all of you. ALL OF YOU. Weāre all SO much better than this.
āMerri McGregor, Law Enforcement, Harrison Township, MI
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