Mystery Ziplock Baggy of Beans

If you're waiting for a reply DM from me, I promise I'm trying lol •[Terfs/radfems go fuck yourselves] • [over 18] • Let me know if you need something tagged • Reblog/Like spams are a-okay! • If you're here for the crabs the tags are: #the party boys #scupa #gurkle • ✌

[bunnyb34r]

Therapist: The turtle from Mermaidia can’t hurt you, it isn’t real

The turtle from Mermaidia:

[wumbreon]

Something is wrong / you people can’t do anything

[asimplepotato]

god I don’t know what we’re gonna do. when mom and dad get home and see that we unflattened their pressed penny collection, we’re doomed!

[woodsdyke]

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

[cutecipher]

you cant run a magicians shop anymore due to the economy

[yossyislandd]

you stole my bank card and replaced it with a 3 of diamonds when i wasn't looking

[cutecipher]

but was that your card

[circumgutter]

[dogpuppy]

[rhulksdiscordkitten]

HELLO ?

[rhulksdiscordkitten]

Help I got the Temu labiaplasty and now my pussy is on backwards

[bunnyb34r]

Nice all the gifts I bought for myself (except the cheapo haul stuff) came today too 😅

And my aunt got me a dollhouse model kit thing 🥰🥰🥰 and two huge tubes of glue lmaooo it came with little tools and a pair of tweezers though, which was cool. But the giant tubes of glue cracked me up dhdhhfhfhf

[stupidpetface]

[squeakadeeks]

some nights by fun really is the most 2012 song ever because its like: "the US government didnt give a fuck about the soldiers it sent to kill and be killed all for politicking points. the whole thing was a farce, costing countless people their lives. also heres a 30 second autotune vocal solo where i just kind of make sounds into the mic for a bit with a crazy filter."

[shiftythrifting]

Cat pillow that's all back no face

Vinnie's North Sydney Australia

it's like one of those time out dolls but for cats

[evisxerate]

[postoctobrist]

have you ever been to a cat cafe? what do you think of the idea?

I worry about having a kind of ‘thinking the stripper likes me’ relationship with an animal

[bunnyb34r]

Lmao inch resting... both Brat cousins wished me a happy birthday. Which is funny bc mom put in the family group chat (that I am thankfully NOT in) ab us selling the house within the next week. Really thought they'd be throwing tantrums ab it bc Great Aunt raised them (and not well lmaoo) and they think THEY should have gotten the house. Well girls, if she wanted you to have it (like the car), she'd have put it in the will. She was very meticulous and careful ab what went into the will sooo... 🤗

And I know they at least were butthurt ab me getting the same inheritance as them lmaoo bc Great Aunt would watch me in the summers so she thought of me as one of her girls. Haha. Lmao even. 🤗

Anyway maybe they matured in the past 3 years. Or maybe they feel generous today and wanted to just say hbd sgdgdgd anyway

[threedollarsdotcom]

she took the haunted house in the divorce

[bunnyb34r]

I think you shouldn't be able to feel like shit on your birthday. Like the world and your body should just know and not let it happen sgdgdggdfb

[ashes2caches]

one time a guy friend told me he was quitting league of legends and literally two weeks later she was on estrogen. these events are intrinsically connected in my mind.

[eightyonekilograms]

There is still time [to stop playing league of legends]

[griffonatrix]