halloooo. i'm mike, && I go by he/him and she/her.
my main account is @maerids, this is just a side blog for me to just spam about dsaf, both art and talk. any dsaf art i post on my main acc will be reblogged onto here too lol
dsaf related requests are always open just throw them into my askbox and i'll get to them when I can
my art tag here by the way is "forklift certified"
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Heyyyy it's me again. Yeah, hi.
So @buttmuncher77's earlier post about Davesport as parents got me thinking too much about it, and, well, let's just say I wasn't planning on writing 1k words of doting-father Dave, but here I am!
Is it cheesy? Yeah, probably!
Full text below the cut if links and tabs intimidate you (me too, bud)
Dave and Old Sport Adopt a Kid
The two of them were stuffing child bodies into the dumpster out front. That was four bodies now. Just gotta get one more lone kid, should be easy enough.
But suddenly Dave’s neck whipped to the side as he stared at the corner of the building.
“Hold on one sec’.”
Jack shrugged and continued to push the boy’s corpse fully into the dumpster enough that it would close. But he suddenly heard a child-like yelp around the corner followed by a
“Gotcha!”
Dave held it up by the armpits from behind, but as he turned it around, his (metaphorical) heart unexpectedly melted while the scared girl nervously closed her tearing eyes from seeing her captor.
“Oh my god… you’re a me.
You’re a me!”
The confused child chanced an open eye and saw a gigantic purple smile staring back at her. Terrified for her safety, she whimpered and intensified her struggle.
“Sportsy! Look what I got!” he said coming back from the alley.
“What, what do you–
What… is that?”
The girl had purple skin.
“She’s a real live aubergine kid in the flesh! Reminds me o’ myself when I was her age!
Isn’t she just neat?”
“That’s… wow.”
But Jack pulled out his knife.
“Welp, then let’s get number five over with–”
Dave dumped the kid on the ground in outrage to slap Sportsy firmly in the face.
“–OW!”
“What the hell is wrong with you!?”
“Wh-What!? Whaddya mean, a kid’s a kid!”
“Are ya outta yer mind!? She’s a living, breathing person!”
But the girl had made a run for it seconds ago.
“Oh no, you get back here!” He booked it after her.
Jack stood there next to the dumpster flabbergasted.
“Employee, THERE you are! What are you doing loitering out here by the dumps!?
…a-and with a knife…?”
“Dave, we’re child murderers! Not kidnappers! She’s seen too much, we can’t just–”
“How DARE you! You wouldn’t rat on us, now wouldya?”
The girl shuddered as two rotten faces suddenly turned toward her, but she vehemently shook her head.
“Y’don’t really talk much, do ya?”
She stared back.
“What’s yer name?”
She looked down in front of her feet.
“Dave, she probably has parents looking for her! O-Or some kind of authorities–?”
“Tah, no way Jose! She’s a tried and true street rat for sure!”
He knelt to pet her on the head with pride. She persevered through it as if her life depended on it.
“Well kid, if you’re gonna give us yer name, now’s the time t’speak up! Otherwise, we’re gonna name ya!”
“Dave, don’t get attached to it. Don’t name her.”
“Geez, I didn’t realize my partner here was such a heartless bitch!”
“Wh– WE KILL KIDS DAVE!”
“I don’t see what that has to do with you bein’ such an asshole to her!”
Jack was stunned into silence.
“Aright, Pruny, it’s just an hour and a half left of our shift, and then we’ll show ya your new home!”
“What new home!?”
“Yours, genius!”
“No! Take her home yourself!”
“Please, I hardly have what one would consider a ‘home!’ She deserves a warm, loving abode with a soft bed and food in the fridge! One like yours.”
“Fine, we’ll take her to an orphanage then!”
The girl let out a nervous gasp, and Dave was livid.
“You really are heartless. Why the fuck would you ever say that!?”
Startled, Jack decided remaining silent would be the best way to de-escalate Dave’s unexpected outburst.
“C’mon, Pruny, let’s go find that creepy ass virgin and get you a new shirt. Which robot ya want on it?”
“‘Pruny?’ C’mon, don’t be mean to the poor girl!”
“Whaddya mean? I think it’s a cute name! A cute name for an adorable little aubergine girl!”
Dave bent to pick her up and put her on his shoulders, and he was met with surprisingly little resistance from the confused girl as he did so.
Jack decided not to argue. Arguing would mean suggesting a better name of his own, and Jack would have enough sympathy to give her any other name than Pruny.
And he knew that that would be the first step to attachment.
