cakes i would slap the fuckin shit out of

you ever see a cake and you just want to slap it like as hard as you fuckin can? does a neat, smooth icing job make you feel a little bit feral? do you want to slap every cake that has an ugly theme? do you or have you worked in a bakery and you've had it up to here with your job? or maybe you have intrusive thoughts about slapping every masterpiece cake that looks like someone spent TOO much time decorating it? maybe just to see what it would feel like? or maybe you just REALLY hate cake? this blog is for all of us. one like = one slap (submissions open) | main

[pinkfairiesteaparty]

[justpastryvideos]

x

[skating-jellyfish]

Honey wake up new fucking chocolate guy just dropped

[cakesiwouldslap]

(via pandoraxaviondahmer) PLEASE RATE

slap force 0/7 can’t you see he’s been through enough pain??????

[kidcore-nostalgia-cakes]

Yu-Gi-Oh Ice Cream Cake, 2005!

[cakesiwouldslap]

slap force 5/7 with warm winter's mitten and the greatest affection

[angelf00d]

[princessbento]

nothing girl

[cakesiwouldslap]

SLAP FORCE 7/7 extremely slappable, i desperately want to demolish its soft purity with a good smacking

[kalyug]

(twt threateningcakes)

[lady-feral]

I would like to submit

[cakesiwouldslap]

this is so much but i’ll do my best

slap force 7/7, 5/7, 5/7, 6/7, 4/7, 8/7, cautious 2/7, 6/7, 11/7, 5/7, and 7/7 average slap force is an even 6/7

overall, great collection of cakes with remarkably high slappability, the energy i feel burning in my veins while looking at them is immense AND terrifying. thanks

[dankmemeuniversity]

[cakesiwouldslap]

slap force 12/7 (both hands, 6/7 each)

[inward]

ur tellin me a strawberry pounded this cake

[catchymemes]

[cakesiwouldslap]

slap force 7/7

[cakesiwouldslap]

(via dadrielle) I present to you Barry B Benson’s son’s cake

slap force 9/7, implies existence of human-bee hybrid child and must be purged from this world

i do not nor will i EVER support the conception of their abominable offspring via bee-on-human fucking

[cakesiwouldslap]

slap force 10/7, EXTREMELY cursed cake

[cakesiwouldslap]

slap force 6/7

[cakesiwouldslap]

spoiler: it’s a baby

slap force 7/7

[cakesiwouldslap]

I need to know what sort of cake you would slap with a force of 1/7 !!

hmmmmm maybe this one

would very gently plap or touch but i’m no transphobe

[cakesiwouldslap]

for your consideration: putting your hand /through/ a cake. like pressing down on it until you reach the plate underneath

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀

[cakesiwouldslap]

Please explain to me your voting metric

0 - could not bring myself to slap this cake. i might eat it though

1 - want to tuch it: will gently plap the surface with the palm of my hand. not altogether a polite thing to do, but it is what it is

2 - i want to cause problems for this cake: a pat. i want the ‘plap!’ noise to be audible. surface damage definitely possible. definitely misbehaving

3 - might fuck around and slap this: a swift, firm patting. i am willing and intending to cause some surface damage to the cake

4 - i DEFINITELY will slap this cake: classified as a real slap. the surface will definitely be damaged, and the cake internally will suffer some damage

5 - i will slap this cake with urgency: a hard slap, the cake itself will sustain extensive damage. i fully intend to make a mess of the cake

6 - be glad this isn’t your face: a vicious slap, getting the full weight of my arm into it hoping to do a lot of damage to the cake. aiming to reach the surface the cake is sitting on

7 - power slap: slapping the fuckin shit out of this one, using as much force as i can from the shoulder, maybe even the back. this cake is going to be unrecognizable where i have slapped it, if not completely. hopefully i will have exploded the cake

8+ - beyond: i’m doing more than slapping the shit out of this one. i am sending this cake to hell. this cake is castiel gay-confessing to me and it deserves what it’s about to get for daring to look at me like that

[cakesiwouldslap]

𝓘𝓽'𝓼 𝓪....... cake

slap force 5/7