mxrrin:
she feared what was happening with him, she worried at this amount of… hopelessness. pessimism, perhaps. it was… disconcerting. but it made sense, in a way. cal was complex, the way he saw the galaxy was something even she couldn’t comprehend, and now with his understanding corrupted by this time shift and imprisonment? she understood. but that only made her more desperate to free him.
merrin wasn’t sure when the last time she had felt this kind of desperation was.
the mood shifted. he didn’t… he was sure unsure of himself. it didn’t make sense– she had seen him fight, watched him face trials on dathomir. he didn’t see his strength, doubted it. merrin wasn’t sure how to handle that, how to convince him this was nothing he hadn’t faced before. a small smile stretched on her lips, an attempt at something reassuring, and she nodded carefully at his response. it was a start, “i know you will, cal kestis.”
the nightsister had already decided she wasn’t leaving, despite cal’s wishes. she respected him but… this was foolish. foolish to act as some sort of marauder. “and you’re important to me. which is why i’m not leaving, “ she stated simply, unconcerned with the possibility of her own capture. she was confident she could escape if need be. no, her concern was more with what would happen to cal if her presence was discovered, she didn’t want him harmed on her mistake. “it’s already decided. you can’t change my mind.”
merrin however was concerned with how… unstable he was. it was more than she expected. an arm moved under his to steady him, hoping that he was strong enough to hold at least some of his weight. her eyes flicked over to the device on his wrist, swallowing some. surely i wasn’t that powerful. nodding some, she locked her fingers with his, a reassurance, more than anything, closing her eyes to try and transport them away, eyes widening in– pain.
she kept her grip on cal but he had been right, whatever that was blocking her as well, sending a shock through her, and now doubt him as well. stumbling, she breathed heavily – “how– how can they do that?”
she’s a pinnacle of solidity, her voice so steady, her terminology so direct-- it hits him in the face like a splash of water, welcome, certain, confident. he’s forgotten what it felt like to be so assured of himself, to be so resolute in his beliefs and capabilities, in what it meant to be who he was, fighting for what he was fighting for. has he really been down here in this dungeon for so long? has he really been so disconnected from the force this much, such a gap in his understanding of it, such a detachment from who he’d been before getting locked up here, for so long?
he sees how unquestioning merrin is, how trusting she is, and feels ashamed for how worried he feels, how afraid. he’s a jedi, he ought to be better than this, and merrin reminds him of that even without saying anything, without accusing him. he’s a force of light, a force of good, a force for hope and optimism, not cowering in dark, distant worlds anymore, not hiding in shadows from his master’s killers. he doesn’t want to become who these people think of him as. he must return to himself, somehow. he has to get out of here.
he grips her hand even tighter as she sparkles and gathers her strength, but then her magic sputters out and she gasps, looking at him confused. even though he’d warned her, he still feels something crack inside his chest, a hope he hadn’t wanted to birth. he deflates, sighing. “i don’t know.” he looks back at his wrist, at the evil on it, the constriction placed on him. “it’s some kind of technology, i’d need tools to unhook it from me.” nevermind about how painful that might be. again he peeks behind her, wary of guards who are sure to come by any second now.
“can you try again?” he asks, his heart in his throat, this time pulling her closer. “maybe... can you choose which things to transport, merrin? say, if you touched the device, would you be able to transport only it, apart from my arm? or would that just take my arm with it?” he winces as he speaks, hoping what he’s saying is making sense. it’s a long-shot, but then, so is everything else.













