got it going on

camila aldea, twenty-six, nurse. — Let's convince ourselves it's all under control, a stone that we can break. But is this what we want? 'Cause we might miss the hate, I know it feels so good to make the same mistake.

[rjclayborne]

“I am nothing if not a miracle worker,” he chuckled, watching her smile for the first time since he’d arrived and what felt like months already. It didn’t matter that they talked every day or that they skyped as often as possible, nothing could compare to the real thing that he saw right then. Everything was better when they were together, rather than apart, and he needed her to see that he was in this with everything he had. He was there for her, for their kid, for everything even if it meant having to fly across the country every weekend, he’d do it.

“Nothing at all? That sounds to me like a challenge.” He managed to push open the door open to her bedroom, finding Django at the door barking at him excitedly as Ray continued to maneuver them into the room. “Did you here that pup? Your mom here thinks that there’s nothing I can say or do that’s gonna change her mind, do you agree?” He waited for another happy bark before he was meeting her eyes once more with a grin. “He agrees with me, two against one that I’ll be able to convince you somehow that I’m allowed to stay.” He kissed the tip of her nose, whispering softly as he dropped to his knees on the bed with her still in his arms. “Just watch me.”

[camilaaldea-blog]

Camila rolled her eyes at his comment about it being a challenge to him, though she couldn’t help but grin as well. As quickly as the anger had come to her, it was gone and all she could focus on was how happy she was to have him home despite the fact that she would practically have to force him out of the door the next day to make sure he actually went back to work. She wanted to be as selfish as she could be and tell him to stay home with her for the remaining eight months or so of the pregnancy, but she was anything but selfish.

“You know, a happy bark doesn’t mean he agrees with you,” she pointed out, sending a quick glare in the dog’s direction as he was happily wagging his tail and waiting for the two of them to pay more attention to him. “You can look at me like that and sweet talk me all you want but I’m not going to give in, not a chance. Try me.”

[rjclayborne]

Ray could feel the both of them visibly relax the moment she was in his arms, eliminating the last of the distance between them in a spontaneous decision to choose her over his job, over his career, and he didn’t regret a moment of it. It didn’t matter if she made him stay on the porch or on the couch, Ray was there for her and for their child they were going to have together. He might have to be on the other side of the country, but he wasn’t about to let her do this on her own. 

“Maybe, but you knew that when you let me into your life, Aldea,” he grinned as he pulled back enough to see her wiping at her tears. He hadn’t wanted to make her cry, but that didn’t mean it would be reason enough to leave. “So who’s the real idiot here? Still me.” He concluded with a light chuckle before he pressed his lips against hers, murmuring softly against them as he watched her rather than pull back again. “I missed you.” With his knees bent, he loosened his hold on her waist and wrapped an arm around her back and knees, lifting her up in his arms. “I missed you and I missed you and I missed you. Is that enough of a reason to come see you? Because I think so.”

[camilaaldea-blog]

Camila had never believed in the whole ‘home is where your heart is’ thing but having him close again was like coming home. He felt like home and everything that was good in the world, like a ray of sunshine that lit up her entire world. There was no place she’d rather be than in his arms, nor was there anyone else she’d rather do this with, with or without the constant worrying on her part. Raising a child with the love of her life was something she was looking forward to.

“I did know that, yet here we are, it’s a miracle, really.” Feeling his lips pressed against hers after what felt like an eternity away from each other had her almost going weak in the knees, like she’d forgotten the kind of power he held over here whether he knew it or not. “I mis--..” She was caught completely off guard as he suddenly lifted her up and she couldn’t help but smile, despite the tears that were still falling down her cheeks. God, he really was an idiot, but he was her idiot. “I suppose so, though I still think you should be going back tomorrow and nothing you say or do can change my mind,” she pointed out as she wrapped an arm around his neck, the other resting over her stomach as he held her up. “You’re not gonna be able to do this in about three months.”

[rjclayborne]

Ray needed her. It was more than when he’d shipped himself off to rehab, fixing himself up to be the kind of man that she deserved, but he needed her in his life to give it the meaning that he’d been lacking for so long that he couldn’t remember what it was supposed to feel like without her. Neither did he ever want to think about and their last phone call had been enough to shake him to the core, worried that he’d messed up everything to the point where even the plane ride had been too long of a time to go without speaking to her as he moved towards her with the soft tug on his hand.

“I’m not ignorin’ them, just acknowledgin’ that they ain’t the most important thing in my life right now. They haven’t been for some time now,” he murmured softly as his arms came around to hold her close, wishing that he had never left in the same thought as never wanting to leave her again. He knew it wasn’t possible, because she was right, but that didn’t mean he had to admit it right that second when he only wanted to envelop himself with her scent. “I wouldn’t dream of it. I’ll even sleep on the floor if he’s that upset with me for leavin’.”

[camilaaldea-blog]

Just as Camila had expected, she could feel the tears in her eyes as soon as Ray wrapped his arms around her and giving her the embrace she’d missed while he’d been away. The situation they were both in, not only her, as far as the pregnancy went was something she’d had a hard time wrapping her head around and with him on the other side of the country, she’d almost been going crazy with everything that went on in her head -- naturally something she’d blame on the hormons. There was no doubt in her mind that she’d be keeping the baby, but the thought alone scared the crap out of her and she wasn’t ready to commit emotionally to something the way she’d once done before when she’d lost it all.

“You’re an idiot, Clayborne,” she sniffled, her hand moving up to wipe away the tears that now seemed to be streaming down her face. To say that she was overwhelmed with everything would be an understatement, but as the anger faded, she could feel just how happy she was that he was there and that he’d willingly risked the movie to go see her. “No -- you’re sleeping in the bed with me, who else would I cuddle with and drool on?”

[rjclayborne]

It didn’t seem to matter to her that he was there or not, Camila had already made up her mind that he wasn’t needed to be there but on the other side of the country. Maybe that didn’t sit well with him, but Ray couldn’t have slept or worked on the idea that he could have done something to help, something to change everything that wasn’t sitting nicely between the both of them. That was why he was there, wanting to be with her and no one else, not even a movie that could potentially take his career to the next level if he chose to stick with it rather than be with her.

“Neither does staying there when I’m needed elsewhere. If they want to do somethin’ about me leavin’ for a week, so be it, ‘cause I ain’t about to stay there when I’m needed elsewhere. Or at least I thought I was,” he spoke softly, moving a bit closer to where she stood even with her arms over her chest. Ray knew what kind of trouble he’d get into if he stayed off set, but his people were already working on smoothing that over until he got back, not that they had much to go on other than an emergency back home. “It’ll be there when I get back, an’ if not, there’ll be other movies, other contracts to try an’ not break, but there’s only one of us.” He stepped closer. “How ‘bout I ask him nicely? Tell him that we haven’t seen each other in awhile an’ could use some time to talk an’ reconnect, think he’d listen to me then?” 

[camilaaldea-blog]

Camila didn’t want to admit to needing him, not when she was so used to being independent and caring for herself without the help of others. Feeling like she needed someone wasn’t something she was used to and quite honestly, it almost felt like a sign of weakness to the girl. But she knew he’d be able to see right through her, if she just let down the hostile wall she’d quickly built up around him the second she’d seen him standing outside her door. Taking a deep breath and counting to ten, she practically forced herself to calm down as she once again reached out for his hand, this time only to pull him close.

“You can’t just ignore your job duties, Ray,” she sighed, her voice now soft and quiet as she barely had the energy to keep arguing. Closing the gap between them, she let her arms slip around his waist as she buried her face into his chest where she stayed silent for a minute or two before pulling back enough to look up at him. “He’s also mad at you for leaving your job like that, you know. Don’t let his happy attitude fool you when he sees you.”

[rjclayborne]

Looking at her now, Ray wanted to cross the distance and hold her in his arms and never let go. He wanted to assure her that he was there for her, with her, and everything that came with them having a child together but he couldn’t do that on the other side of the country. Hell, he couldn’t do that from the other side of the room but that was as far that he got before he felt her wanting to push him right back out the door and where he came from. He wanted to ignore that feeling, hold onto that there was some part of her that wanted him there, even if for the night, before she was shoving him right back again when he heard her tell him that they were alright. He didn’t feel that way, still afraid that he’d handled everything wrong to the point where she couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him as he shuffled forward only another half step before he stopped.

“There’ll be other movies if that happens. There are always other movies,” he told her as if it was no big deal that he’d just flown out of there without any regard for the schedule that he was under contract for. It wouldn’t turn out well for him if he was found breaking it, but he didn’t care. He knew where he belonged and it wasn’t on a set when she wasn’t there. “Does that mean I get to at least stay the night?”

[camilaaldea-blog]

Camila absolutely hated keeping him at an arm’s length and she knew what it must’ve looked like when they were usually all over each other, having a hard time pulling away from another. But she knew that as soon as she felt him close, she’d completely break down and she didn’t want to do that in front of him. She’d already cried enough over the pregnancy as it was and every day she was sick with worry, but she wanted to be strong and focusing on how angry she was at him was distracting her, if only for the time being.

“But there’s a contract, Ray. One you signed,” she pointed out, her arms crossing over her chest once more. “That’d be like me not showing up to work for a week and then saying ‘there’ll be other shifts’, it doesn’t work like that.” She didn’t know why she kept arguing with him, because she knew he was going to keep making up excuses as he was just as stubborn as she was and they’d keep going around in circles until either of them had had enough. “Maybe -- but Django’s taken your spot on the bed so you might have to fight him.”

[rjclayborne]

He dropped his bag when she pulled him in, shutting the door behind him when he couldn’t so much as get a word in edgewise before she was coming at him with everything he should have expected and more. Considering the time of night, the circumstances, and the way that he’d handled their last conversation, Ray knew that he wouldn’t be walking into a warm embrace despite the fact that was all he wanted right then as he followed her further in and watched as his shirt hung low on her thighs, making him miss her all the same. “I’m thinkin’ that I needed to come see you, face to face, an’ make sure that you’re alright, that we’re… alright.” It wasn’t the whole truth, not quite, but it was as close to it as he going to be able to get with her until she stopped trying to attack him with him being there unexpectedly.

“The movie can wait, I had more important things to deal with than sit around and say my lines for the hundredth time.” He pressed his lips together, trying to gauge how she was doing despite the fact that she was keeping him at arms length. “LA will be there when I get back.”

[camilaaldea-blog]

There was nothing Camila wanted more than to pull him in close and let him hold her, to feel his arms around her again after having been apart for far too long and especially with everything going on. He was the one she went to when she needed comfort and with the pregnancy thing, she especially needed him but she didn’t want him to risk his job or risk getting a bad reputation because he simply up and left for something back home. “We’re alright,” she sighed, wanting to put his mind at ease before she went right back to lecturing him about his job. Maybe it was a way for her to ignore the pregnancy and the all the possible issues she’d stayed awake thinking about, to give her something else to focus on for once.

“And I will be here when you’re done with the movie but they can fire you, you know that, right? All they care about is getting their movie done and that should be your main concern as well.” A sigh escaped her lips as she moved her hands up to rub at her temples, she didn’t want to sound like she didn’t want him there but at the same time she couldn’t believe that he’d be so stupid to drop everything for her. “You’re going back tomorrow, Ray. No if’s, no but’s. You’re going.”

[rjclayborne]

A red eye flight and plenty of airline miles that he had no idea how they worked exactly, and Ray was exactly where he was supposed to be after the phone call that’d left him out of whack. Not to mention that she hadn’t picked up the phone or answered any of his texts since then, having to resort to Luke to check up on her to make sure that she was okay. She wasn’t. Neither one of them were with the kind of distance that elapsed between them as he made a decision to say fuck it to filming and go see her, knowing they’d find a way to rearrange the shooting schedule to do the scenes that didn’t require him or worse yet, they’d fire him and replace him with someone else.

Shit like that happened all the time, but Camila needed him and he needed to see her as he couldn’t remember what time it was exactly in this timezone as he knocked on the door once more, hoping that she was there. “Cami, open up, please.”

[camilaaldea-blog]

Camila was pulled unexpectedly from her dream world as Django started barking next to her. He had been sleeping in the bed next to her, taking up Ray’s spot as he was away, but was now barking at the door. With a loud groan, the girl swung her legs over the edge off the bed and got up, closing the door behind her to keep the dog from barking as she made her way to the front door. Still half asleep, she unlocked the door and pulled it open, her eyes widening at the sight before her. Any other day and she would’ve been happy to see the man standing at her door but he was home too early, and not just too early in the morning, but a couple of months early. As happy as she wanted to be to see her boyfriend, and especially at a time like this, the first thing she felt bubble up inside her was anger.

“And what do you think you’re doing here, Ray?” The tone of her voice was sharp as she reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him inside before crossing her arms over her chest. The comfort of wearing one of his shirts to bed was gone, and all she could focus on was why he was there and not at work, as he should’ve been. “Last time I checked, this isn’t Los Angeles and there sure as hell isn’t a movie set outside my door.”

[camilaaldea-blog]

Ray: [He broke at the sound of her voice, bending forward at the waist until his elbows hit his thighs and he shook his head. This wasn't supposed to happen like this with him gone all summer filming while she was well and truely alone. They were handling it when it was just the two of them but three?]

Ray: You're not alone. [He groaned in frustration.] I'm going to be there with you every step of the way. I'll....I'll figure something out.

Cami: [She shook her head, there was no way she could deal with having this conversation right now. She could feel every emotion she could possibly feel about all this build up inside her and she knew it was only a matter of time before she either snapped at him or started sobbing on the phone. She needed to be alone.]

Cami: You do what you have to do, Ray. [And with those words, she ended the call with the realization that nothing was ever going to be the same.]

[camilaaldea-blog]

Ray: [He could feel the tension through the phone and hated it. This was why he didn't talk often when he was in rehab because it wasn't the same as them being together in person but he couldn't be there for her, not now.]

Ray: You're not going to go through that again and you're not going to be alone. [Even if he was over a thousand miles away.]

Cami: [She couldn't help but let out a humorless laugh at the words spoken, the irony almost too good to be true. The only person she could trust with this this early in the pregnancy was thousands of miles away and he had the nerve to say she wasn't alone.]

Cami: It's funny you should say that, considering you're over there and I'm over here with my dog as the only company. So yes, I am alone and I'm going to be alone this entire summer when you're away and I can deal with that. [Her voice broke slightly as she had to fight back the tears.] I'll be okay, I'm good at being alone.

[camilaaldea-blog]

Ray: [This wasn't what he was expecting when he was awaiting her call earlier but Ray couldn't help the fact that the words were repeating in his head, even when he heard her say them one more time. She was pregnant which meant they were pregnant which meant that they were having a kid together.]

Ray: No, you don't have to repeat it again. I just, I need a moment. [He paused.] Are you okay?

Cami: [She took another deep breath to try and calm herself down as he spoke. She wasn't mad or upset at him, she was mad at the entire situation and while she'd thought that hearing his voice would make her feel better, she'd been terribly wrong. What she needed was a moment of peace and quiet.]

Cami: Do you think I'm okay, Ray? We've been stupid enough to not protect ourselves and now we have to deal with this. I've already lost one baby, I can't go through that again.

[camilaaldea-blog]

Ray: [He didn't know what to say. He was on the other side of the country from her, no one near close to knowing how to react, and pretty sure that she was freaking as much as him on the other side of the line as he made it to his trailer by narrowly avoiding some of the crew and locking the door behind him. He fell to the couch and let out a breath.]

Ray: Okay. Okay, so you're pregnant.

Cami: [Her eyes widened as he spoke, the frustration with the situation only growing with each word that was spoken on the other side of the line. Thinking about it, it probably would've been better to wait until he had some time off so they could sit down and talk about it but she'd freaked out so much that the only thing she could think to do was to talk to her boyfriend -- the same person that was now irritating her.]

Cami: Do I have to repeat myself? /Yes/, I'm pregnant, it's yours, obviously. So, you know, we're in this together.

[camilaaldea-blog]

Ray: [He dropped the phone. It wasn't on purpose, only that it slipped from his fingers as quick as the grin fell from his face as he grabbed it and pushed himself out of the chair and away from curious eyes and ears. Walking out of the trailer and into the lot, people were everywhere but all were too busy to pay him any attention as he head towards his own trailer, not even thinking about the script he'd left behind.]

Ray: You're... are you sure?

Cami: [His question had her groaning in frustration as she tilted her head back to rest against the back of the couch, staring up at the ceiling as she counted to ten to keep herself from yelling at him -- she had to remind herself that it was just as much of a shock to him as it was to her.]

Cami: I took two tests at work and two tests at home, unless all those tests are straight up lying to me, I'm pretty sure that there's a baby growing inside me as we speak, Ray.

[camilaaldea-blog]

Ray: [He grinned like an idiot, seeing himself in the mirror, and the looks of the artists around him that knew immediately who he was talking to as he sat up straighter and put the script aside on the vanity to give her his undivided attention.]

Ray: Hey babe, sorry, no. It's hard to hear anything 'cause I'm in the chair right now an' [He was interrupted by having to switch hands to accommodate the make up artist.] it's hard to hear anything so I don't think I heard you right?

Cami: [Knowing that she was going to have to repeat herself had her almost freaking out right there and hanging up on him, something that was so unlike her as she always faced everything that came her way. But this was different in a way she couldn't even begin to explain. Reaching out to pet Django behind his ear, she took a deep breath before saying the words once more.]

Cami: I'm pregnant.

[camilaaldea-blog]

Ray: [He was still reading when he heard the voice on the other end, immediately recognizing the voice but the words were lost on him as he jerked his head upwards and caught his reflection in the mirror with his make up team still around him, trying to work around the phone to his ear.]

Ray: Camila?

Cami: [A sigh of frustration slipped from her lips as she went to sit down on the couch, Django joining her soon after even though he wasn't allowed on the couch. She didn't even know if she could say the words again, let alone have the conversation that was sure to follow.]

Cami: No, it's your brother, Luke. Yes it's me, Camila, hi, hey. Did you hear what I said?

[camilaaldea-blog]

Ray: [He had his hands full of a new script, changes that'd come in last minute and would need to be nailed within the next few hours or else he and the rest of the cast and crew would be there through the weekend. All he wanted was for the much needed break to come up, the same one that everyone wanted, so he could spend a day or two back in Bayside before he had to be up there for the rest of the summer filming. His phone rang from on the vanity, his make up artist reaching for it and handing it over as he slid the button without looking and put it to his ear while he continued to read, mouthing the words under his breath.]

Ray: Hello?

Cami: [She stopped pacing as soon as she heard his voice and she even considered hanging up in pure panic at the thought of announcing her unplanned pregnancy but before she could do anything else, two words slipped from her lips before she could stop them.]

Cami: I'm pregnant.

[camilaaldea-blog]

Camila: [Camila had been pacing back and forth for the past thirty minutes, two pregnancy tests in her hand and her phone in the other, the panic slowly but surely settling in as those blue plus signs seemed to be getting clearer and clearer. As Ray had been away, she had kept herself busy with work -- so busy she hadn't noticed the obvious signs that were there until a co-worker pointed it out to her and now here she was, two pregnancy tests later and internally freaking out. Finally pressing the dial button, she started pacing faster as she waited for him to pick up, a part of her hoping it'd go to voicemail.]

[rjclayborne]

“One of many,” he replied as he took his hseat, eyeing her more than the food that was set out between them. He’d be lucky to manage a couple of bites before he was staring back up at her again. All her fault too, something he would have told her if he could concentrate for even a moment. “It’s all done. We can eat.”

[camilaaldea-blog]

Camila found herself looking back at Ray a bit too long before finally looking down at the amazing plate of food he’d made for her. “I haven’t even tasted it yet and I know it’s going to be amazing,” she smiled before finally taking a bite. A barely audible, content moan escaped her lips as she nodded her head -- she’d been right. “See -- this is almost better than sex.”