the day that broke me, but didn’t end me.
march 23, 2025.
our thesis proposal hearing.
the day i’ll never forget.
we walked into the room nervous,
but ready —
holding the paper we’d worked on for months,
hoping our efforts would finally be seen.
and then,
while one of my groupmates was still presenting,
ms. judy, the director, suddenly interrupted.
she started asking questions —
fast, sharp, and heavy.
our adviser, ms. eluois, spoke gently,
“ma’am, let them finish first.”
but ms. judy didn’t stop.
she raised her voice, louder and louder.
“no! what is the level are you looking for!?”
our group leader tried to explain —
trying to hold her ground respectfully —
but before she could even finish,
ms. judy shouted again,
her voice cutting through the air like a blade.
“no! i said what is the level are you looking for? no. 2?!”
that hit hard.
fucking hard.
we froze.
we were trembling —
our hands shaking under the table,
our hearts pounding painfully.
ms. eluois tried to defend us again,
calm but firm,
“no ma’am, you let them finish first. let them finish first.”
but ms. judy kept interrupting,
repeating the same question,
over and over,
as if she didn’t even want to hear the answer.
our hearts were already breaking,
but we still tried to explain —
still kind, still respectful,
even when our voices were starting to crack.
the tension kept rising
until sir dean, our chairman,
finally told us to step outside
so they could talk privately.
and when that door closed —
that’s when everything we held in
finally collapsed.
all the fear, humiliation, and frustration
we tried to hide during the presentation —
it all came out in tears we could no longer hold back.
we were hurt.
disappointed.
angry.
not because we were questioned —
but because we weren’t heard.
because we weren’t treated with the same respect
we tried so hard to show.
after that,
we left the building in silence.
no one said a word.
the air felt heavy,
the kind of silence that aches inside your chest.
we passed by C-Mall,
(the one near our campus —
we always pass it before heading home).
we sat there for a bit,
pretending to laugh about what happened,
turning pain into half-meant jokes.
but deep down,
we were all just trying not to cry again.
after that,
i went straight to IT Park terminal
to catch a bus to Consolacion.
i was still in my corporate attire —
black heels, navy blue coat, white inner top,
and a black pencil skirt.
i didn’t even bother to change.
i couldn’t.
i was too drained —
emotionally, mentally, everything.
my eyes were swollen.
my heart felt like it weighed a hundred pounds.
i sat by the window and closed my eyes.
i fell asleep —
the kind of sleep that doesn’t rest you,
just shuts everything off for a while.
when i woke up,
almost everyone in the bus was staring at me.
and then i realized —
i almost missed my stop.
i was already near Liloan.
that’s how tired i was.
too lost in thought,
too hurt,
too exhausted to even notice where i was.
some of them looked at me with pity.
some, with curiosity.
some maybe even with admiration.
and i didn’t know what to feel.
embarrassed?
or maybe just too numb to care.
when i got home,
that’s when it all replayed again.
the shouting.
the humiliation.
the look on our adviser’s face.
the way we tried so hard to stay calm.
even now,
when i think about it,
it still makes me tear up.
the frustration.
the disappointment.
the anger.
the unfairness.
it still hurts —
because we didn’t deserve it.
but that night,
when i was lying in bed,
i whispered a prayer.
“Lord, You saw everything.
one day, this will pay.
not by revenge,
but by Your justice.”
and i hold on to that.
because even when people act unfair,
even when the world feels cruel,
God never misses anything.
He saw me that day —
the trembling, the tears, the silence,
the way i still tried to stay kind
when all i wanted to do was break.
and i know one day,
He’ll make it right.
some days mark you forever.
that day broke me — but it didn’t end me.
i survived.
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