@mainact || continued from here...
Midori was depressed.
It wasn’t a new discovery, no -- he said the word enough for the whole world to understand it, after all. Yet, no matter how many times he said it, he never knew he would feel it crush down on him, not like this. Midori had high expectations, not only from his family -- but from society in general. People would look at him, think he’d go on to be apart of something big. But, look at his grades, his simple lack of motivation -- for practically everything, even existing. His appearance was just a big lie, and he wishes he wasn’t so damn attractive. Oh, he knows that people are naturally drawn to him, only to turn their heel on the first thing he says to them.
So then why was Tori Himemiya, someone with so much goddamned potential, willing to die for him? Midori was worthless, incapable of doing what he wants, telling everyone the opposite of what he wants -- he’s such a pushover, and he knows it. Sometimes, he feels like his entire existence was a mistake, that someone else should have just been in his place.
“W-Wait--” He was too late with the words, watching the smaller impale himself with the knife. He instantly feels the tears coming to his eyes, the horror moving to change his expression, hearing the words “now you can leave!” Midori shakes violently, knowing that he doesn’t want to leave, not without Tori. He doesn’t want to be alone -- not that he would be, necessarily, Ryuseitai would definitely be there to support him. But he would be a burden, and without Tori, he would feel equally as lonely as he would without Ryuseitai. The younger of the two holds the older, his thoughts swarming around him like snakes. He doesn’t want this, he doesn’t want this, he doesn’t fucking want this --
“YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FUCKING DIE!”
Midori isn’t sure why he suddenly shrieks, but he does. He yells out, from fear, from impulse, from anger, from self-loathing -- so many different places to come from, like using multiple different paths only to get to the same exact place. His tears are running down his cheeks like rivers now, and he doesn’t bother trying to tame them. He knows he’s suffering, he knows he’s useless, he knows he’s anything but good and happy. He’s known that for far too long, and he just wants it all to be over. He wants everything to simply end, he just wants to die -- a common phrase he’d practically spit from his mouth, not bothering for the backlash he’d get just for saying it.
He feels his hand begin to move -- almost on it’s own, but he knew what it was doing, and was okay with it. His hand moves closer, and closer, and closer -- not to stop for anything, or anyone.
Touch. He felt it.
Grab. He grabbed it.
He brought it closer to himself, and then...
Stab.
“...A...alone, at least...”
He feels himself grow weak, nearly dropping Tori from his arms as well. Red, sticky liquid spread across his clothes, onto the pink-haired boys, onto the floor -- everywhere, practically drowning the room. He pants heavily, nearly unable to breathe, feeling his nervous system alerting his whole body -- giving him immense pain. He coughs out blood, and his tears only grow larger, crying over the pain he had just gave himself. He wasn’t upset as to why he did it, not at all. He was so goddamned happy, he could feel a smile coming to his mouth, and he felt so fucking stupidly happy...
“Haha... I’m s... sorry... I m-must’ve... ruined your... your first year, h-huh...?” He feels horrible, thinking he deserves this, that he’d deserve to die in this terrible, painful way. “I-It... ha... really... really hurts...”
