watch me burn

depressed blob, waiting for serenity

[compulsive]

[especially]

[ellenaturel]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[recaption]

[understands]

[destroymylife]

[lolshr]

everything about me is disgusting

[understands]

[lifeinpoetry]

In therapy someone says depression is when a body turns into a robbed grave. Analogia entis doesn’t warm back your tea 7 hours after you failed to unzip your wrists again It just stills the wings of a rook caught in the wrought iron of your window. Its black glows each feather in the shape of new blood bordering your eye

— Scherezade Siobhan, from “Sertraline - I,” published in Pinwheel

[chaoscontrolmaster-blog]

And when the lights faded into blue That's when I got to see...              The Real YOU Faded darkened grey eyes Blue tinted irises glowing You smiled at me with that radiant glow I wanted to grab hold of your face and kiss you Sweet sugary words saiting my apetite Your love like an addiction My kiss, my special love My ONE.  

[dankmemeuniversity]

[poemswords]

[compulsive]

[strugglingdaisy]

A note to my body

I am sorry.

I have cut you, hit you, and burnt you. I have shoved more food into you than you can handle, jammed my fingers down your throat, and starved you for days until all you can see is stars.

I’ve consumed too much alcohol, too many substances, and exercised you into the ground.

But what I am the most sorry for is that I can’t seem to stop… no matter how much I want to be better for you, I don’t know how to stop this self destruction.

And for that, I am truly sorry

[unfortunately-awake]

[suzakukururugi-deactivated20190]

I don’t often see abuse posts about the opposite spectrum of post-abuse behavior, and it’s. Kind of a bummer bc those are still things people experience.

So shout out to :

people who feel like they have to aggressively defend the things that are important to them because they’re so used to it being torn down and taken from them - even if a friend was just kidding, it’s so hard to see it as just kidding.

People who are constantly on high alert for a fight and had to learn to treat everything like a debate because it was the only way they could stand up for themselves. People who have a hard time rationalizing not everything is an attack because everything used to be an attack.

People who are mad and furious over what happened and get completely consumed by rage no matter how hard they try to let it go. And who have to deal with people telling them they’re making it bigger than it was.

People who have to constantly front as being a badass or aloof because they can’t be seen as vulnerable in any way.

People who constantly fear they’re just like their abuser because they lash out at a moment’s notice to defend themselves

There’s a ton more things but I’m on my break and these are just things I experience that I know a lot more people relate to omg. It’s hard to unlearn aggressive means of self preservation and it hurts to hurt people after you’ve had to experience that hurt and it seems impossible to get over or unlearn those things but you’ll do alright it just needs time and patience and there’s nothing wrong with being angry.