i haven’t slept but i HAVE come up with a new au
anxceitmus pirate au..... remus is the captain, dee is his lovely gender fluid partner, virgil is a crew member remus trusts to take care of dee when things get spicy and he is concerned for his love’s safety.
obvi dee and remus are together already, tbh it was like.... love at first sight........ dee has been,, forcibly displaced, by other pirates, and remus saw them and was GONE. remus charges in, rescues dee, and to a shaking and confused dee who barely speaks the language remus does
remus takes off his hat, gets on one knee, holding one of dee’s hands in both of his own, kisses the knuckles and introduces himself as captain kingsley and informs dee that he would do anything for him. just ask. he’ll prove it! but dee shakes his head and asks thrown overboard if she is to be his property. remus assures her that no one would own him, not now, not ever, he’d die before he allowed dee to be taken like that. that if dee wishes remus will take him to port and dee can never see him again if it so pleases them.
this makes dee pause, and agree to at least.... stay for a time. and remus is ecstatic!!! he just wants to give this mysterious person everything he can get his hands on. so he has no issue when dee admits that one of the reasons that they had been treated particularly poorly isc bc she isn’t entirely a man. remus gives no shits (maybe even loves them more) and just starts giving dee even more varied gifts. treasure, obviously, decadent foods/drinks they usually can’t get, weapons, jewelry, an island maybe, perfume, fine clothes designed for both sexes
and this is all wonderful and they’re having a wonderful time being gay outlaws when suddenly. remus acquires a new crew member. he’s quiet, a little shy, but quick with a rapier and a pistol, sharp tongued, and deeply loyal to whoever accepts him, which remus just did. so their new crew mate, virgil, is put in charge of protecting the captains spouse.
a very important job, no? it’s certainly nerve wracking for virgil, as he’s seen captain kingsley throw men overboard or shoot them point blank for daring to be rude to his spouse. and he takes it very seriously, politely not allowing dee into the fray. (which dee honestly thinks is kinda stupid, she adores her husband, but he’s not a delicate flower, he can fight.) but something interesting happens next
this overly cautious, snarky little thing managed to worm his way into dee’s heart. dee, who has at least one braincell, immediately discusses with their husband how they feel. remus is fine with it, he doesn’t mind him having a boyfriend as well.
virgil had absolutely come to care for dee in the same way, loves dancing with her on the deck of the ship, loves seeing him on the ship at night, endless ocean around them, endless stars above. virgil could go on, but he doesn’t want to bother you. but yeah. he likes dee too. and that’s perfect! and you might think i’m about to say that this relationship triggered drama.
nah virgil and remus are actually taken aback at how.. not jealous they are. sharing is wonderful. they even spend time the three of them sometimes, with dee in the center obvs. but. there’s something missing. yeah dee needs to spell it out for their dumb dumb boys. but then they all kiss and have a three way pirate wedding!!!!!
