Ah, the ocean! A world of blue unfolding before thine eyes The depths of which remain unknown to even the most educated of scholars The desire emanates from within mine heart to witness the deep and fade into the darkness Ah, mighty ocean! Take my breath away so that mine lungs shall never breathe the air of life again! Embrace mine self and provide thy greatest comforts... May my tears wash away the endless days and nights and blend together into one Ah, mighty ocean....
Silence. Flowing through the wind, a silent, oh so silent wind. Bringing upon the quiet and calm To ease the hearts of the many broken. But, Alas! This silence does not bring ease onto my gentle heart! Dread, fear, sadness, melancholy, I feel as though I am drowning in this silence! As much as I prefer to be on my own, this silence is too silent. My heart cannot take this much longer. Where has my singing bird gone? Has my singing bird disappeared? Oh how I lament the loss of my singing bird As the world dips into silence once more.
Prolong my life please Honestly, I'm quite easy to appease. Continue to administer your life saving techniques upon my broken self. Restart my heart And if you must, cut me apart. Continue to take away my sense of self with those mind-numbing medications you bear. Take away any semblance of my personality It's fine, since it's not a fatality. Do whatever you must to keep my heart beating and my lungs breathing Prolong my life please.
Someday, everything will die.
Some day, even I too, will die.
As time passes, memories shall be lost
Contributions shall be forgotten
At the end of time, everything shall fade into oblivion, never to see the light of day again.
Perhaps, once that time arrives, the sins of this world will be forgiven, and everything shall return to peace.
Perhaps, life itself does not exist. Perhaps everything we see is an elaborate illusion.
Alas, we are cursed to never see the truth, to reach enlightenment.
Humanity is nothing. It has never been something, nor will it ever become something. We call ourselves āhumanā, but perhaps we are the ones being deluded? If only I could ascend past this āhumanityā as it stands.
Everything is fruitless.
The lives of people are destined to never bear fruit.
For a life of preparation is all we live, never reaching a true goal in the end. For what is the reason that we have been allowed to live on this world, then? What is there to gain from life? Humans live pitiful lives, deluding themselves into believing they are doing something- anything.
This world truly is one filled with only shame and despair.
Our towers shall collapse, burned, and then forgotten.
At the end of the day, the crow shall fall, never to fly again.
A blazing fire
A burning tragedy
A loved one at deathās door
An enemy that must never be forgiven
A dark heart broods
A delusion fills the mind
A false cry is heard
A plan for revenge
A gun in the wing
An apology for enlightenment
A sad reunionĀ
A new life
I dug up something and decided I should post it. I donāt write fanfiction very often.
TW: uhhhh suicideĀ
Also, major spoilers for BBL.
Theyāre dying. Theyāre all dying. Dropping like dominoes, they die and die and die. This shouldnāt be happening. Why is this happening? Why are they all dying? Why was he involved? Nonononononono
Another human falls dead on the floor in front of him. Nageki lets out a shrill scream. Shuu looks at him quizzically. āWhat is wrong, Fujishiro?ā he asks, with a slight smirk on his beak. Nageki shakes his head back and forth before responding with a swift āIām fine.ā
If he had never gone to St. Pigeonations, this would never be happening. He would still be at home with Hitori. He would be sick butā¦ anything is better than this. Neither he nor Hitori could have predicted the horrors that would come out of St. Pigeonations.
Shuu leaves the room, grumbling about forgetting his notebook. Upon leaving his sight, Nageki frantically looks around. He has to do something to stop this. Anything. As his eyes flit around the room, something catches his gaze. Gasoline and a lighter. Why these were down here, he doesnāt know. Only one thought fills his mind: He needs to die.
I donāt want to dieā¦ I donāt want to do thisā¦ I really donāt want to dieā¦ I want to live and see Hitori again, I want to go back to how things were before. But I have to stop this! I canāt let anyone else die. I donāt think I can take it if I see another human dieā¦ I have to do this. I donāt want to, but I donāt have to. Hitori, pleaseā¦ save me. Save me, I donāt want to die! I want this to end!
Nageki slips out of the chair he is sitting on as quietly as possible and walks over to the items. Taking a deep breath, he unscrewed the lid to the gasoline and began pouring it on the floor. Upon hearing noise in the room next door, he stiffened, afraid that Shuu would walk in at any moment. He could walk in at any moment. So he had to finish this quickly.
Hitoriā¦ Hitori pleaseā¦ please save meā¦ take me back to where we before, when I could be around humans and they wouldnāt die. Please Hitori, I donāt want to die! I never wanted this! I just wanted to be with you! I never wanted to burden you. Iām sorry, Iām sorryā¦ Iām so sorry Hitori Iām sorry Iām sorry imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry
Nageki quickly dumps the rest of the can of gasoline on himself, and grabs the lighter. With thisā¦ everything will be overā¦ no more humans will have to die. Everything will work out. Everyone will be saved. In a swift motion with his beak, he whips the cap off the lighter and drops it into the gasoline.
Itās hot. Thereās fire everywhere. Hitoriā¦ Hitori pleaseā¦ this is so painful I donāt want to do thisā¦ Hitori please! I know you canāt hear me but.. pleaseā¦. Ā Nageki screams once again, crying out his lament to the heavens. At that moment, Shuu bursts into the room.
āNageki what i-ā he stops in his tracks, his eyes wide with shock. The lab was burning. Nageki was burning. The experimentā¦ the experiment was burning. Suddenly, Shuu is pushed into the room by a bird from behind.
āNAGEKI! NAGEKI WHERE ARE YOU???ā screams the newcomer.
Hitoriā¦ heā¦ he cameā¦. Butā¦ itās too lateā¦ Hitori Iām sorry Iām so sorry I donāt want to die I donāt want to die I donāt want to die HITORI savemesavemesaveme hitori imsorry please i dontwantodie please hitori
The scent of smoke is overwhelming, and Nageki can feel this skin underneath his feathers blistering. A flaming bird at the precipice of death. The pain is almost unbearable. Screams and shouts can be heard, but Nageki can barely comprehend them. The pain is fading. A weird sense of peacefulness envelops Nageki, and he knows that the next time he closes his eyes he will be dead.Ā
A boy and a girl walk side by side on the rough forest path. The soft trickle of a stream along with the melodious birdsong penetrates the silence, filling the area with a sense of peace and serenity. The children walk in complete silence, with only the occasional crunching of a twig underfoot.
Soon, the stream begins to grow larger and become louder, before widening into a river that crashes over the rocks with a loud splash. The path in front is slightly dampened by the splashing water, and faint footprints are left behind where the children stride. The path soon gives way to a wooden bridge overlooking a waterfall leading into a deep ravine.
The girl stops suddenly, and the boy walks a few steps forward before noticing. He turns around to look at the girl, who is standing with her head down, her long blonde hair waving in the slight breeze. She looks up into his eyes, her eyes deep blue pools of unbearable sadness. She shifts to face the waterfall, extending her hand as if to reach for the heavens.
āIf you knew that you were going to die in a few minutes, what would you say? If you had a piece of paper, what would you write down?ā the girl asks quietly. The boy ponders her words for a few moments before replying, āWell, I would tell everyone how much I loved them. How I would miss them, and that I wouldnāt want them to be sad.ā
The girl walks over to the wooden railing, and leans back against it. Arching her back, she allows her hair to dangle down over the edge. Droplets of water splash into her hair, allowing her hair to glitter in the beams of sunlight that filter through the canopy. āWhy would they be sad?ā she wonders out loud, directing the question to the young boy.
āWell, thatās obvious. Itās because I would be dead,ā he responds with firm conviction. The girl stands up straight and shakes her head.
āIf death itself was the cause of sadness, then wouldnāt we be sad when a tree died? Or when the wind dies out?ā
The boy looks at her in slight confusion. āWe wouldnāt always miss a tree, or the wind.ā
āExactly. Therefore, death itself is not the cause of sadness. We grieve when people die because we miss them. When someone dies on the other side of the world that we didnāt know, we may be a little sad, but we donāt necessarily grieve their death. We never knew them, so there is no way that we could miss them. We grieve because we donāt want to imagine a life without a special person in our life. We grieve because they will never speak again. We grieve because we will never get to see them smile, laugh, or cry again. Death itself is not inherently a sad thing, itās the aftermath of it that is sad. People view death in a negative light, but I donāt believe that it should be looked at that way. Death is a means of bringing something to an end permanently. When you graduate from 8th grade, you are happy because you wonāt need to go back. Isnāt that essentially the ādeathā of 8th grade for you? You might be a bit sad due to missing teachers or friends, but that is just the aftermath.ā
The boy scratches his head gently. āI suppose that makes senseā¦ but, when you say that, how are you defining ādeathā? Is it the death of a living thing, or just a means of an end?ā he responds, attempting to string his words together.
āThe definition of death is āthe cessation of all biological functions that sustain a living organismā. However, based on that definition, some of the expressions we use in our daily live make no sense. For example, when you say āAwh man, my phone died!ā. Your phone isnāt a living organism, therefore, by definition, it cannot die. Although, you can think about it this way. We created the word life, and the definition of it. We did not, however, create the concept of life itself. So who are we to define it? I believe that one should form their own opinions on the definition of ālife and deathā in their own mind. When your phone ādiesā, you are sad because you can not interact with it until you charge it up or get a new one. It follows the same pattern as death.ā The girl lets out a heavy sigh, then climbs up onto the slippery railing and holds her balance.
The boy gasps, calling out, āDonāt do that! Youāll fall!ā
The girl looks at him with sadness. āDonāt worry, Iāll be fine.ā She extends her arms out to her sides and begins walking, placing one foot in front of the other. After a few minutes of silence, she asks out of the blue, āWhy do you live? Are you afraid of death?ā
The boy thinks for a moment. āI live so I can keep having new experiences in life. If I were to die, I would no longer be able to have those experiences. I live so that I can be successful when I grow up, get a job, and raise a family. I live so that others can enjoy my company. I am afraid of deathā¦ I donāt want to die. I want to keep living, so I can keep having experiences.ā he responds thoughtfully.
The girl turns to look at him once again. āWhy are humans afraid of an inevitable end, known as death? It happens to all of us. Why do we so desperately try to avoid it? Some humans will sacrifice others just so they themselves can live. But why? Why should they have died? If you died, maybe they would still be alive. It will come upon us, whether we like it or not. And experiencesā¦ but does any of that matter after you die? Once you die, you die. There is certainly an unknown factor; we donāt know what lays beyond the veil of death. But why are we afraid of it? Shouldnāt we look forward to it? Itās a new experience. I am excited by the prospect of death. Itās a new experience that I look forward to. Why does everyone else cling to life? I canāt quite understand. If I were to step off this railing right nowā¦ nothing would matter anymore. Life is meaningless. All you do is prepare, prepare, and prepare. But for what? In the end, you only gain death. So why not die younger?ā
Suddenly, the girl loses her footing. Her right foot slips off the railing, and the other one follows. Her eyes widen, but she doesnāt appear to be too afraid. She closes her eyes, ready to hit the water. Suddenly, her descent stops with a jerk. She opens her eyes, finding herself dangling over the edge, the boy holding on to her. He appears to be struggling. If he makes one wrong move, both children will end up meeting their doom in the water grave that bubbles below. He is risking his life.
She looks up at him, genuinely surprised. āWhyā¦..? Why would you save me? Why would you risk your own life to save me? Donāt you want to live?ā
The boy looks down at her, determination shining on his face. āI wouldnāt be able to live with myself if I let you fall. If I fall as well, then so be it. I wonāt give up without making all the effort I can to reach a desirable outcome. If you are looking forward to death, why not wait a bit longer? Like you said, it comes to all of us. What is the point in dying earlier? I suppose there is no point in living longer, but you should still enjoy your life while you have it. Even if you see no meaning to lifeā¦ make one for yourself. Even if it doesnāt matter to you in the end, fight for it! Fight for anything desirable! I will do all that I can to save you right now, even if that comes with the risk of my demise. If you are going to die someday anyway, then enjoy your life while you have it.ā With a loud grunt, he yanks back, pulling her back up over the railing and onto the bridge.
They both sit there for a moment, panting heavily. The boy makes the first move, wrapping his arms around the girl. āYou donāt have to deal with despair all alone. Please, allow me to take some of that burden. You shouldnāt carry that all yourself. Come on, letās go home.ā
The girl looks up at the boy, tears slowly trickling down her face. āIā¦ Iām sorryā¦ā she nuzzles her head into his chest and lets out a lamented cry.
The boy hugs her tighter. āYouāre not alone. Youāre never alone. Iāll be here for you, for as long as we both live.ā
The two children stand up, and begin to embark on their journey back home.
Wrote the following piece based off of a quote I thought of this morning:Ā āBecause I am falling at the speed of light, if you try to help me, you will only end up hurt.ā
A lone girl stands amidst the remains of a war-torn battlefield.
Dark red blood slowly drips off the sword that she holds, her eyes filled with sadness and fear.
No bodies are to be found, yet the stench of death hangs in the air.
A curtain of despair and dread drapes over the field, leaving onlookers with a deep pit within the confines of their abdomens.
The girl raises her head to the sky and lets out a melancholic, lamented scream.
Yet no sound resounds from the depths of her vessel, and thus the silence remains undisturbed.
A silent scream, born from decades of pain and suffering.
An onlooker, overcome with pity, offers their hand to the young girl.
She flinches, pulling her hands to her chest and retreating.
āWhy wonāt you let me help you?ā the onlooker questions, their voice ringing with sincerity.
The girl displays a sad smile before responding, āBecause I am falling at the speed of light. If you attempt to lend me your aid, you will receive nothing short of the pain and suffering of humanity. Please, return to your ignorant dwelling and live unaffected by the despair of this world.ā
A harsh wind rises, leaving the landscape to waver and falter.
For this place is not real, but only the result of a melancholic dream.
The girlās sad smile haunts the onlookers, who embark on their journey back to the planes of reality.
āFor I am falling at the speed of light, and no one is able to save me. Not even myself.ā
The following is my response to this writing prompt.
TW: Story contains suicidal themes.
Well... Ā I screwed up. I screwed up bad. It was so minor, but I couldnāt afford to make even the most minor of mistakes. Not when I held the life of all of humanity on my hands. And now they are all dying. Dying, dying, dyingā¦ their screams are echoing throughout this tiny room. Itās only a matter of time before I die too.
Chizuru lays down the pen. Sweat is pooling around her feet, and the corners of the room almost look distorted somehow. The room is constructed out of Talanite, a durable material found on Mars which can withstand anything. Except black holes. Chizuru glances up at the clock ticking away in the corner, and buries her hands in her hair. 20 minutesā¦ Iāve got 20 minutes before this room gets sucked into the black hole. I donāt want to die that wayā¦ I donāt want to die that way I donāt want to die that way I donāt want to die that way. Why am I even writing this letter, itāll disappear in the black hole too. Lord itās all my fault itās all my fault
She takes a deep breath and attempts to calm herself down. A high pitched noise is ringing throughout the room, so quiet yet oh so loud. Chizuru covers her ears with her hands and screams.
I am the worldās top scientistā¦ why did I have to fail? Why? There was a possibility of saving them! One miscalculation, and Iā¦. itās all falling, itās fading itās leaving itās dying.
She glances back up at the clock again. 17 minutesā¦ I have 17 minutes to live. Half of the earth is already gone. Suddenly, a loud ding from her computer draws her attention away from the situation at hand. Standing up shakily, she walks over to the computer to see who could have mailed her at a time like this.
...It was the International Science Institute. They hadnāt died yet, but surely they knew what was going on.
āIā¦ I canātā¦. I canātā¦ nononononononononono STOP IT IāM SORRY IāM SORRY IāM SO SORRYā her lament rings out, but fails to penetrate the soundproof Talanite walls. āI canāt die to this I canāt die to this I canāt die to thisā¦ Iā¦ Iā¦ā
From the depths of her lab coat, Chizuru withdraws a gun. āIf I have to die, the least I can do is to end it with my own hands.ā Chizuru takes a deep breath and upon putting the gun to her head, pulls the trigger.
The only sound left in the room is the high pitched ringing. No living beings occupy that enclosed space. For a minute, everything is still. And then the phone lights up with a text message.
International Science Institute: You have not responded to our e-mails. We have knowledge that you are still in the safe house, as you have not been seen leaving. This is an urgent matter. Whatever you do, donāt panic. We just made an amazing discovery in our lab. Please open your e-mail for further explanation.
(Sent at 5:54 PM)
International Science Institute: In the event that your computer is not working, we will relay to you our general findings here. Existence of another dimension past the black hole has been confirmed. We can reach that if you initiate Emergency Protocol GRI. If you are unable to initiate Emergency Protocol GRI, this world will cease to exist and all life will be lost.
(Sent at 5:58 PM)
International Science Institute: Chizuru, please reply to confirm that you are alive and well. The lives of every human rests in your hands right now.
(Sent at 6:00 PM)
-1 missed call from ISI at 6:01 PM-
-4 missed calls from ISI at 6:03 PM-
International Science Institute: Open the door to the safe room.
(Sent at 6:05 PM)
-1 missed call from ISI at 6:06 PM-
International Science Institute: Chizuru? Please respond.
(Sent at 6:07 PM)
-3 missed calls from ISI at 6:08 PM-
International Science Institute: Chizuru!
(Sent at 6:09 PM)
A loud bang echoes throughout the lifeless room, due to the efforts of the scientists to break down the door.
when I will just soar through the sky
Today's the day that I will fly
As I jumped from that fair high
Ā And I am falling
I'm falling
Oh well
And I am falling
I'm falling
Ā Oh well
Ā As I approach my demise I thought
"Please don't be distraught this isn't your fault
It's all my choice so please don't hate me
Please always love me please let me go.."
Ā And I am falling
I'm falling
Oh well
And I am falling
I'm falling
Oh well
Ā And I am crashing
I'm crashingĀ
Oh well
And I am crashing
I'm crashing
Ā oh well
And I am fading
I'm fading
Oh well
And I am fading
I'm fading
Oh well
Ā And I am dying
I'm dying
I'm glad
And I am sorry
I'm sorry
Goodbye.
So I wrote some song lyrics a while back, this is oldish.
TW: Suicidal Themes
Last night I waved my farewell to the world
And with no second thoughts I said, " Goodbye, let's do this."
Surely this would be the night I would succeed, the night I could be no more. Yet to my surprise, I opened my eyes, and sat up to gaze upon another morning.
Ā (Chorus): How many times has it been now?
These days are just blending into each other
I'm bored, so tired of these endless days
I'm a failure at life, and I guess I'm a failure at dying too.
These are my lamentations-- of waking up alive.
Ā Another day, I try to fly
I say "I'm ready, let's do this now"
Ā Yet morning arrives to find me conquering the ground
Sitting up again, I let out at a sigh, and turn to face this day.
Ā (Chorus)
Ā I'm tired of everyone trying to tell me what to do with my life
If you want me to live, then just let me live!
Stop tying me hand and foot and let me run!
Ā (Chorus)
Ā And so this cycle of living continues
Perhaps it's time to just lay my head on my pillow for once.
Rough draft of my first comedy sketch. Iām not sure if it is good enough yet, any critiques and tips would be great.
10th grade honors English class. You know, that fun time when you read all about Shakespeare and Macbeth, Macbeth! I ought to teacheth thy the proper way of ethethethetheth Ye Olde Engrish. You know what, my 10th grade English Class was interesting. It was like walking into a room of monkeys and trying to do your bills while they screech in your ear and throw poop at you. I was in an Honors class, and we had the usual things like people talking about their kinks, throwing markers, and eating books. Wait, those arenāt normal. Or are they? I suppose it depends on interpretation. Throwing markers. It was a daily thing. You know that moment when you are trying to write your research paper but you get hit in the face with a marker? Yeah, I know that feel too. And itās not just one marker either. Itās a whole frickinā box of markers thrown one after the other. This is the proof of the smart and mature teenagers being in honors classes. If your definition of smart and mature is to throw markers at other students and the teacher.
I will never forget the time I heard my English Teacher say to a student at my table, āAdam, donāt bite other peopleās books!ā Iām a little shocked and what I heard, so I look up from my book to see bite marks on the book of the person across from me. Actual bite marks. I guess someone really didnāt like āOutliersā. But I mean, you could have bit your own book if that is how you get your fix. No need to desecrate otherās books, thatās just plain rude. Didnāt your mama tell you not to bite peopleās books in Honors English?
My teacherās last name was āCallaghanā. Students took to calling her āDaddy Callafamā. Yes, ādaddy.ā I guess you canāt expect much from a room filled with pent up teachers looking for some creative outlets. And no, Benson, I donāt want to hear about vore. Please go and vore somewhere else that does not disturb me, thank you.
Thereās always that one kid in your class who smokes weed, right? I remember this one kid (I canāt even remember his name now, Iāll just call him Jason or something) when he was stoned. He threw a chair and got sent to the deanās office, after saying āFuck off bitchā to our teacher. But then my teacher counters with āKeep your mouth shut Jason, you can go right to the Deanās office and think about your pitiful life.ā Wow, r o a s t e d roasted!
I feel like sitting in this English Class lowered my IQ and made me the meme loving fuck that I am. Man, I knew I shouldnāt have listened to my classmates about āAdvanced Meme Studies 3!ā Guess Iāll go read some more Shakespeare to gain back what I lost. But then we have Julius Caesar. Wherein Brutus says: āDude, hold this sword for me so that I can run on it and die!ā, and the dude honors his request and goes to post about him on facebook later. āMan, this one guy today asked me to hold his sword for him. So I did, and guess what? He ran onto and stabbed himself! Truly an intriguing experience, I might hold swords in the future. Do you guys have any more gossip about the state of Rome?ā Or even Romeo and Juliet. āJuliet, Juliet! Let down your hair!ā Jesus cowtchas Romeo, wrong story. Read the script for your life first before you act it out!
God dammit Benson, not again! I donāt want to hear about your scat fetish. Please, enjoy your shit in the privacy of your own home. Youāll be doing us all a favor.
Okay, I am currently in the following fandoms:
- Bungou Stray Dogs (favorite character is Dazai)
- Hatoful Boyfriend (favorite character is Nageki)
- Dangan Ronpa. (Hope hope hope hope hope Komaeda)
discoholicmusic
snowghoul
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
stormborns
amandla
tangentwithtanner
titsay