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AAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHH

Ok whatever that’s out of the way.

If you don’t know me, get out.

Vent blog. For bad stuff. If you know me, I don’t care. Do whatever. Send asks, I guess.

Might cut over this. Idk.

I hate having moral ocd and rsd

What am I still doing wrong

Well idk what to say to that. I found evidence that they were wrong because I did my own fact checking instead of taking what they said at face value. Like so many posts say to do. And I don’t know why someone would be mad at me for that.

#this is an autistic moment btw. I think.#like. I really don’t understand that reaction

my mom found my girl things and wants me to get rid of them

uh oh

oh. awesome.

uh oh

I find my hand drifting down to my belly, where it kinda sticks out from, y’know, the rest. And I start to feel generally bad about having so much weight, but instead I give it a little squeeze and thought “I love my body :)”

I think that’s self-love. It’s in the little moments, things like that.

Suddenly hurting because I told a friend about my feelings and. I don’t know what I was expecting

#And I shouldn’t be hurt #it’s just a part of me that hurts #not an insignificant one #or one without reasons #but it’s not a rational part #so. yeah

I’m going to kill myself. Or deactivate

#if anyone saw that. I’m done

Ohhhhhhh I apparently don’t know how to properly convey that I feel bad about something in a way I think will be believed except by self-harming. Good thing I realized that before doing it a second time

Stings more than I thought it would

#don’t worry I did plenty of aftercare #lots of sterile pads and sterile wipes and sterile things in general were involved

:( oofta im sorry the mental illness is mental illnessing, or life is sucking, hope the feeling goes away soon (the solution finder in me says have you taken your meds or do you have any icecream to have, but sometimes feelings just happen so)

No but it got worse. The neuropsych testing place has been leaving me email and I DON’T EVER CHECK THOSE

I hate myself

#might end up self harming over it

I don’t wanna exist right now. And NO I don’t know why

I’m scared because no one’s replying

Saw a post that I don’t like the feel of because of things it says. I’m not going to correct it and get myself involved though.

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