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Another of my past, texted me.

Asking of my well being, eventhough i treated you so badly.

I loved you too, my time spent with you was sincere but similarly, i didnt treat you right.

Im happy that you made a career and have friends close to you. Im happy for you and hope that you meet your other half who loves you like I did. And maybe more.

I know you are better off without me.

2024, July

I received a notification in my phone.

I saw your text to me. My heart stopped.

So many years passed and you showed yourself again.

Not to ask for me back, but to apologise for the past.

I asked of your well being. And you answered that you are well, just trying to get past your situationship.

Who am i to say, that she was a red flag from the day i met her.

Who am i to say, that she'll twist and turn her words just to get things to be her way.

Who am i to say, she'll the one to end your misery with me or she'll be the worse misery after me.

She kept her ex wanting her while she held your hands. The kind of greed for attention, i wouldnt wish upon my enemies.

But atleast we had closure. Im glad. As i said, you werent the problem. I wasnt good enough for you, wasnt the one that gave you joy and the smiles you deserved, wasnt the one that went away, wasnt the one for.. you.

I wished for you, that she'll come back around and love you again, and again.. and give you all the love that I wish I was the one who should give you. If she doesnt, if she decided to continue with the guy, i wished that you will meet someone who will love you right. I wish that someone will be able to give you all the warmth you deserve.

I loved you first, i fell for you and you did too. Our love ended, you moved on and loved her. But my love for you is frozen, they remain the same for as long i will remember.

Thank you for loving me, eventhough they were short.

Day 1

I no longer trust you. I dont trust you. I dont trust you at all with your ex in the same work place as you.

I wanted to trust you. I wanted to.

I let you off the hook once too many times.

Turn a blind eye to avoid fights.

But my guts, i trust my guts. This time, i dont trust you.

Slowly, dreams drift away faster. Change and adjustments made, just to keep you here.

I see things, looking like how it used to be.

Day 1.

QE s6 - in with 2 ep and im LOVING THE QUEERS❤❤❤YAS QUEENNN

Broke my trust over and over again.

Eric was being a basic b in s3.

And adam is my fav character. I can relate to him in every scenario.

Finished sex ed s3

Quite a tear jerking ending...

Because only adults are smart. Maybe thats why the world is dying.

I suffered, and suffered again.

This has been a very bitter life. So bitter that each day i look forward to nothing but death.

A stupid child i have been. Maybe a stupid child dont deserve to live. Maybe a stupid child deserve to be struck by lightning. Maybe a stupid child shouldnt be born in the first place.

Its hard living in a life when you have unsupportive parents.

Its like not having one.

Sighh..

Im starting to think that i am not a right fit to be with anyone for my character like this.. should i just break it off..?

You'll probably be happier. Not havin to babysit me.

Sighh.. im sorry..

If i am suppose to be ok with you leaving traces of what you and your ex did...

Perhaps the norm is to be ok with it. Shrug it off. However, I am not norm. I am not.

Sighh

thoughtkick

“They say love is pain. Well, darling, let’s hurt tonight.”

— OneRepublic

Its been so long since i last update my diary

My partner has been keeping me busy with her presence❤

She decorated the hotel room with arts and laughters. Such love❤i wanna grow old with her.

Sighh...

Annoyed af.

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