Common

Common daily things are the real bother. They can make me really happy or really not happy.

[cmihetao-blog]

I fucking hate it. Not my life. I do not hate my life. I hate the fact that we can not get away. We are in this fucked up world we all created for ourselves maybe for thousand of years and now we can not get rid of it. It gets worse and worse and worse and worse. And i have this fucking emotional wrecks sometimes. Right now. It is just awful the line between the reality and the dreams. I am sitting here with my laptop and just doing nothing. Reading for an university class. There is a little boy over at the end of the world who is being sexually harassed or getting killed over a war who did not even want to join. I am eating 150 lira priced breakfast and people are dying over hunger. No

I do not hate my life or want to end it.I want all of the filthy humans to die. I want to get rid of this system. just bomb anyting i dont know

I feel so awful these days like something really awful is going to happen. I feel that something going to happen to my parent like today or tomorrow and i wont be able to do anything about it. like they will be gone forever not that i will be alone or anything but i dont want anything horrible happening to them they do not deserve it

i wish i had a dream about why i was feeling this awful i dont want to sleep to feel better though i just need to know for sure they will be okey

something is going to happen to them and i can do nothing change it

i want them safe please

tell me why am i feeling this wrong

i know i do not believe in you but please please what is going to happen

[cmihetao-blog]

Okey͵ i got it over and now i am having fun. My parents still dont know i am 700 km away from them but i figured out since i am already here͵ fucking things up wouldnt be very meaningful. Anyway tomorrow evening i am getting on my bus and on monday morning i am home. The only wish i have right now is for them to never figure it out. Wish me luck

[cmihetao-blog]

I feel so awful that i lied to my parents. Actually i am on the process of lying for like 4 days and it is really nerve breaking. This is the first time i lied to them and i could cry any moment which is really bad because i am here for a holiday. :/ I really need some comfort :‘(

[cmihetao-blog]

İçini tamamıyla kaplayan duygu dehşetti, boğuk bir dehşetti fakat bu. Tehlikenin tam ortasında kalacağını biliyordu͵ bir şey yapmadığı takdirde ise ölümle belki de daha kötüsüyle karşı karşıya olduğunun da farkındaydı. Bu saçma curcunanın içinde tek başına değildi, savaş arkadaşları vardı ama herkes kendi yaşamı için savaşıyordu. Birlikten kuvvet doğar topluluğu değildi bu, ortak çıkarlar amacıyla toplanmışlardı ve bu onu çok daha güvensiz hissettiği bir ruh haline sokuyordu. Hiçbir şey yapmadan oturmak durumunda kaldığı şu 45 dakikanın tamamını tüm gücünü uyumamaya odaklanarak harcıyordu.

[cmihetao-blog]

Unfortunately stupidity does not come with warning.

[cmihetao-blog]

Answering is not that hard.And believe me hearing a ‘no‘ is so much easier than hearing nothing at all.It annoys a lot when you do not answer people .

[cmihetao-blog]

I feel really good.To know that you are loved and more importantly and beautifully to be considered as a friend and to be thought of as a person that will always be there feels pretty awesome.