A Teenager's Thoughts

This is a blog to vent, discuss mental health, rant about interests, and tell stories:).

[flumptonbronzebottom]

Nyx says hi at the last minute for Black Cat Appreciation Day!

[coffeeadict61]

my brothers

My twin sister and I have large age gaps between us and our older brothers. About 7 and 9 years roughly and we are all really close but I was thinking of some cute things they've done as we've gotten older.

7yrs once sent us a video at, like, midnight showing us how to use a key in an apartment building, especially if their doors are fickle.

"Always turn the key away from the frame to unlock if you aren't sure."

(Cause I have problem with lefts and rights) He had just moved out and realized we needed someone to teach us this important life skill.

And 9yrs once had us get outta the car and walk over to a road sign after I expressed fear of hitting them and this engineering dropout explained in detail how street signs are designed to crumple on impact so they cause as little damage as possible. He gave us all the engineering terms that flew over our heads then repeated himself in normal people speak. He then bought us cookies and took us to a movie.

I love my brothers:)

[coffeeadict61]

"Think about it."

(Okay so I saw a post on Pinterest about this game and I can't track done the original post sooo all credit to the original idea to them.)

"Think about it." is a game where you take a topic to turn into an insane conspiracy theory and at the end you finish your turn by saying

"Think about it."

My addition to this game are these rules

You play this any day at anytime with a friend or group of friends.

You try to make it as casual as possible so they don't know what's happening until "think about it."

Try to avoid using "think about it" in your rant.

If you figure out what the ranger is doing, say nothing.

Try to say "think about it." before the ranger can when you think they're done.

If you beat them to it you win!

If you say it before they're finished you lose.

If you call it when they aren't actually playing, not only did you lose, but you are a loser.

THINK ABOUT IT.

[injuries-in-dust]

The humans call her the "mom-friend."

The aliens call them the "human-wrangler."

Because she can usually get the humans to stop doing acts-of-human, and if she can't, she always knows how to deal with the aftermath.

[ethanmaldridge]

Childhood can be scary.

A collection of some of my hand-drawn horror looping animations!

[coffeeadict61]

THIS IS WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK.

[coffeeadict61]

Original poem

House of Harsh Words

Harsh words mark my skin

Never forgotten

Never addressed again

I wait for her apology but it never comes

Just a friend request

And no evidence of love

I see no remorse

No guilt is ever confessed

Just hate that it happened

Hate that I care

I watch your face twist as you sit there

While I explain that it's daily

Explain how it hurts

How it plays with my mind

Your silence makes me feel worse

You're just listening intently

Because that's what I need

But I can tell you don't get it

When you ask what I mean

"Are you hit?"

"They're just words"

"Don't believe her"

"You're great"

I live in a house with a mother who hates

"Herself" she means us

I know it deep down

Because this isn't love

Everyone is too worn down

My father sits silent

Says he has no part

My sister cries as words tear her apart

Sticks and stones may break my bones but

My mother is worse

Not a house of horrors

A House of Harsh Words.

[coffeeadict61]

human crow (late night thoughts)

I am a human crow.

dressed all in black I search for the shiny things.

buttons, nickels, charms, happy memories, pretty camera shots,

I hop around, light on my feet.

I bask in the sun.

I have no thoughts.

my brain is quiet and simple.

dark eyes that show nothing.

thick eyelashes to peer at you through.

dark hair always out of place.

a voice distinct, yet ordinary.

I am a omen of mystery.

quiet in presence.

goofy in solitude.

I am a human crow.

I am content in that.

[coffeeadict61]

Therapy Journaling & why you should do it.

so I've always been an advocate for journaling but lately I realized that I didn't like how I was always venting, or trauma dumping, or constantly looking back and dwelling on bad memories in my everyday journal.

SO, I went out and bought another journal, this time bigger because I don't need to take it with me anywhere, and I call this my ✨therapy journal✨.

In it I basically have started my healing journey by trying to learn what makes me who I am. In it I can vent about bad memories that I can't let go of, those lightbulb moments when I realized something about myself or about my childhood, etc.

It sounds scary and sometimes it is. I am a very self aware person but its hard to be honest with myself and maybe I don't write for a week or so but I think its good to have a place outside of your mind to keep it all. Especially if you're like me and not in a situation where therapy is an option.

Sometimes I follow prompts, sometimes I write about a memory, sometimes its just about one person in my life. A lot of times its about something I've realized about myself, what it stems from, and who I think taught me that behavior.

I suggest you try it:)

But don't feel pressures to do it a certain way, just be honest and don't avoid hard truths. But also be kind to yourself, abuse and trauma are never a child's fault. It wasn't your fault.

Love you<3

(Sry for the long post)

[lydiamaltbyillo]

🦇

[coffeeadict61]

Yesss! I love this book and I really love the fact that you included the white hair/mustache from the original book by Brom Stroker!!! (that ig got lost when it was adapted for the screen)

[coffeeadict61]

Girl's sleepy voices when they just wake up are underrated.

[what-iz-life]

i’m starting to learn that i don't have to react to everything that bothers me, sometimes i just need to breathe, let it go, and keep my peace.

[coffeeadict61]

Enemies to lovers scene idea

bro, like, like bro, what if you have an enemies to lovers couple and she's sitting down talking to a friend after a battle or something and her friend is like

"girl, he likes you. that's why he's always looking out for you"

and the girl is like

"no he doesn't care about me"

while trying to clean her wounds. so the friend goes

"whoa you're bleeding!"

and he, like, runs over and slides so he's kneeling in front of her, inspecting her wounds. he then asks her for consent to touch her (cause that's really hot <3) and she like

"I can do it myself"

and he literally begs her

"please, please let me help you"

I would DIE if someone did that to me!

[coffeeadict61]

🔥hot takes🔥

which boy is Rory Gilmore is best love interest??

Dean🏈

Jess📕

Logan💰

Tristian💋

Voting ended onDec 14, 2023

[coffeeadict61]

brooo, this freaking boy is taking up 99% of my mind and he don't even know....

[coffeeadict61]

Anyone wanna breakdown??

I…I feel like if I had a catastrophic breakdown in front of everyone who hurt me….I'd heal so much.

if I could scream without being interrupted, say everything crowding my head…. if I could throw things with all my might and hear them shatter against the opposite wall…. if I could tell them how the hurt me and that they either do better or I leave… if I could scare them, not hurt them, but scare them….show them I'm not a kid anymore, make them take a few steps back y'know? if I could cry uncontrollably and watch their face go from anger to horror… if i could cuss them out for all it's worth…

I feel like I would feel better. I'd get it all out at once.

I wish I could have a breakdown, cause then they'll have to listen. my pain won't be out if sight out of mind for them anymore.

[gjengangeren]

[coffeeadict61]

The trouble with knowing

People have told me that the first step of healing is knowing what happened and what it did to you but, like, now I just doubt it was that bad. Being self aware is hard.

Yeah, I am really good at reading people and noticing small changes but that's cause my mom changes on a dime and you're in big trouble if you don't notice. That's why I do that. Thanks for asking.

Or

Yeah, I can get around the house for days without you seeing me which is pretty cool but that's cause my parents are awful to be around when they're stressed and I don't want to be another thing to worry about. But I'm really quiet now so at least I have that...

It just makes it seems insincere....

The things I do seem fine till you learn the experiences that taught me them.

It gives me answers but they seem too bad to have happened to me y'know?

Does anyone else experience this?

Like, a friend asks me how my parents affected me and I just pull out a CVS receipt of trauma responses they taught me for my friend to flip through.